Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“I think I’m getting the hang of these. I haven’t stumbled for a while. Watch this!”

Griffin took a large stride forward and spun to face Dorian. He continued to walk backward for a few steps and then turned to walk forward again.

“That’s pretty impressive. Maybe next you can try walking and chewing gum at the same time!” Dorian chuckled.

“That would be great, except I can’t chew gum. It sticks to my beak.”

“What about that gum that doesn’t stick to dentures? Maybe you can chew that.”

“There’s a thought. I’ll try and remember that the next time I go shopping,” Griffin laughed at the notion of him standing at a checkout counter.

“Maybe I should have asked this before blindly tagging after you when you said, ’Follow me”, but where are we headed?” Dorian adjusted his stride to keep the same pace as Griffin who was becoming increasingly confident with his new legs.

“I’ve got a guy.”

“What?”

“Actually, she’s a gal. Is ‘gal’ an appropriate term? I know, a lady. I know a lady on the inside that knows stuff or knows of another someone that knows stuff.”

“Of course, you do!” Dorian huffed and tossed up his hands.

They walked a few more steps.

“My turn!” Dorian spun around and moonwalked while facing Griffin. “I’ve had the urge to do that since you did your backward thing. It’s part of my upgrade.” Dorian pointed at the bracer on his arm. He spun five hundred and forty degrees and continued to walk beside Griffin.

“Show-off!” Griffin chuckled. “Hey, I’ve been thinking,” he started, “You know how we discussed what kind of story this is?”

“Sure.”

“Well, I can’t help but compare us to The Wizard of Oz.”

Dorian furrowed his brow.

“Hear me out. The main character is named?” Griffin probed.

“Dorothy,” Dorian answered.

“Exactly, DORothy . . . DORian . . .”

“That’s a stretch.”

“There’s more! She traveled through an unfamiliar land guided by . . .” Griffin urged.

“A lion, a scarecrow, and a tin man.”

Griffin stepped in front of Dorian and stopped him. He pointed to his legs and said,” Tin man”. Then he pointed at his wings and suggested, “Scare CROW “.

“What about the lion?” Dorian queried.

“Well, there isn’t a lion, but there is a corgi and that’s even better because the corgi I melded with was a fierce little son of a bitch!”

Dorian stared blankly and shook his head, but Griffin was not deterred.

“There’s one more thing! What was I singing when we met?”

Dorian thought a moment.

“Africa.”

“By?”

Dorian pondered a moment and then shrugged.

“Toto! I was listening to Toto!” Griffin exclaimed.

“I know!” Dorian burst out laughing. “I was just yanking your chain! You really put some thought into this, didn’t you?”

“My brain thinks up shit like that all of the time. I don’t know why, it just does.”

“And Toto, too?” Dorian said in his best Judy Garland or what he thought Judy Garland sounded like.

“Yes, and Toto, too,” Griffin responded as the Good Witch.

“It was a nice try, but what about these?” Dorian pointed to his feet. “Those ain’t slippers and for damn sure they ain’t red!”

“Not everything is going to be perfect.”

“Besides, aren’t you closer to a flying monkey than a scarecrow or a tin man?” Dorian jibed.

“Ouch!” Griffin whelped.

“I, I didn’t mean, I . . .” Dorian searched for a way to apologize.

“Ha! Now I’m yankin’ your chain!” Griffin snorted. “I already thought of that! I can’t be a flying monkey because they are evil henchmen, and I am one of the good guys.”

“Hey, not all henchmen are evil. I know a couple of henchmen that are socially awkward and somewhat misguided at best!”

“I still think the comparison holds water.”

“Okay,” Dorian conceded, “so, are we off to see a great and powerful wizard?”

“No. We are off to see Numia, the lady in charge of Awkward Moments and Unfortunate Circumstances.”

“She must be pretty busy!” Dorian mused.

“Ya think?” Griffin agreed. “And yet she still can set aside some time to touch my life every single day!”

“Is this the part where we link arms and skip our way to Emerald City?”

“No, but we do follow the yellow line painted on the floor that leads to upper management. I think the walls in her office are green. Does that count?”

Dorian shrugged,” I guess it will have to do. Wait! She has an office?”

“Look around you.”

Griffin pointed about the corridor. “Welcome to the Temporal Corporation where we ain’t got nothin’ but time! Ba-dum-bum!” Griffin mimed a rim shot.

“Whoever came up with that deserves to be punished!” Dorian groaned.

“Oh, he is! He’s a few floors down.”

Griffin motioned for Dorian to resume their journey and they continued down the hallway.

From a darkened doorway, three sets of eyes followed them down the corridor. Cate purred as she arched her back and brushed against the corner as she stepped into the light. She bounded effortlessly from floor to ledge, to the top of the wall, and then into the void that hung like a suspended ceiling above the Hall of Protracted Anticipation and Irritation.

“Charlie,” she whispered into the blackness.

“Yes, my pet?”

“They’re headed towards the old woman.”

“Shit.”

“What are we going to do about this?” Cate meowed.

“I’ll think of something. Follow them and keep me updated.”

“He’s got nothing. We can hear it in his voice,” Cate’s truth-hearing head vocalized through her truth-speaking mouth. “We’ll have to fix this on our own.”

The three heads nodded in agreement.