Traum Junge (Dream Boy)

◄COMPLETE►

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Subject: Dear Winter

Date: September 14, 2018

. . .

I am the happiest when I’m with you. Thanks to you, I’ve finally realized what true happiness is—what becoming complete is. All my life I thought the thrills in life are enough to keep me sane, but it never is enough…being alone.

I found myself while traveling the world; however, in the journey of finding myself, I got lost in the experimentation. Many things get lost in translation, and one of them was my sense of deciphering what is right from wrong. Everything nowadays is a shade of gray. Everything I encountered had blurry lines hidden beneath. Choosing became difficult, and because of this, although it’s hard for me to admit, I haven’t really been making the right choices lately. I can feel it cracking—my soul. I’m breaking down, Winter. The coldness I told everyone to stay away from now embodies my soul. It took me a while to notice myself corroding. My pride got in the way too many times that it has left me defenseless against these demons. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably still be a pothead drowning with debt, waiting and stretching out my high life with fake and momentary feelings of ecstasy. But, thank God, I met you.

I would’ve ended everything that night you saw me hanging out at the balcony. I still remember your eyes that night—panicked yet warmer than the icy cold snow falling on top of my head. From that day on, you never let me out of your sight. You were a feisty little bottle of sunshine, something that I had begun to adore. Slowly, you made it into my life, and pretty soon you became my everything. Clichés aside, Winter, I just want you to know that I’m in huge debt to you for the rest of my life. You saved me from emptiness. This time, allow me to bring you more happiness from now on. I promise that I won’t make you cry anymore. I promise that you’ll have me for the rest of your life. I promise to stay.

Winter Rose, will you marry me?

- C. Josh Lewis

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