Those Three Little Words

“Where are you going?” Posey asks as he jogs up to me.

“Penny called me up to her office for some social media overview.”

“Me too. Lawes is coming as well.” Posey takes a bite of his bologna sandwich. “Hey, Lawes,” Posey calls into the locker room. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” he calls out and then appears at the door with wet hair while adjusting the hem of his shirt. When he spots Posey’s sandwich, he says, “Dude, you realize there are much better things you could be eating or drinking after a workout, right?”

Posey takes a large bite. “It’s a ritual, man. The last time I didn’t eat a bologna sandwich after practice, I pulled my groin muscle. To hell if I’m going to let that happen again.” He takes another bite.

“Don’t even try to change his mind,” I say to Pacey. “He’s set in his ways.”

“He’s right,” Posey says. “And there is nothing you can say or do about it.” He then taps his legs. “These groin muscles are going to stay injury free.”

“I can’t with you today,” I say.

“What’s wrong with you?” Lawes asks. “Still got that headache?”

“Yeah.” I press my fingers into my forehead. “Fucking brutal. After this meeting with your sister, I’m going straight home and passing out.”

“What is this meeting about again?” Posey asks.

“Uh, some social media thing.” Lawes shrugs. “Not sure. Probably something we’re going to have to do that the fans want to see. I’ve already told Penny many times that I’m not doing some bullshit trendy dance. That’s where I put my foot down.”

“I don’t mind the dances,” I say.

“If I didn’t have two left feet, I’d enjoy them, but I can’t remember shit,” Posey says with a mouth full of bologna.

“It’s because you’ve been cracked in the head far too many times,” Lawes says as we hit the elevator button to go to the third floor where all the offices are.

As they fight about dance moves, I dream of what the rest of my day after this meeting will look like. My head’s vibrating with pain. A typical tension headache for me that will go away with some simple Theragun therapy, a caffeinated drink, some Icy Hot, Ibuprofen, and rest. But I have to make it through this meeting first, which could not have come at a worse time.

Not due to the headache, but because I’ve finally started to erase my birthday night from my memory. It was too fucking good. Way too good. And trying to have sex with someone else other than her has been next to impossible. Took me two weeks to even attempt to look at someone else, and when I went out to bars and flirted, I went home alone. By the end of the night, I simply wasn’t interested.

Last week, I finally kissed someone in the hallway of a bar, which was a huge step for me, but it led to nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because her lips weren’t plump, her moans weren’t sweet, and the grip she had on my shoulders resembled nothing to the way Penny clung to me.

Which only means one thing: seeing Penny today and having to talk to her will be a setback in my process to move on from the best night of my life. I’ve done a good job so far avoiding her, only catching glimpses of her here and there, but being face to face . . . fuck. I just hope when I get to her office, that I don’t feel the urge to pull her onto my lap and run my tongue up and down the column of her neck.

Wishful thinking.

My body is already humming with the thought of seeing her. Settle that down, Hornsby. Her brother is standing right beside you.

The elevator dings, and we all step out. Lawes leads the way down the hall, followed by Posey, and then me. A few staff members say hi as we pass, but the walk isn’t very long, and before I know it, we’re standing at Penny’s door, walking in.

Keep it together, Hornsby.

“Hey, sis,” Lawes says when we step in. I don’t see Penny at first because Lawes pulls her into a hug, but when he steps away, I catch a glimpse of her hair pulled back into a high, tight ponytail. It swishes to the side, distracting me for a moment, just before her face comes into view.

And fuck . . . me.

Beautiful, tempting blue eyes sparkle against her long, thick lashes. Her lips are painted a pink that goes perfectly with her complexion and reminds me of that goddamn dress she wore on my birthday.

The dress that now haunts me.

That pink on her lips is like a punch to my chest and a flashback to a time when I have never been more satisfied in my life. Images of her dress being peeled off her body, revealing enticing black lingerie, play on repeat in my head, followed by the heady look in her eyes when I first entered her. The gasp of total satisfaction when I bottomed out. And then, I’m hit with the memorized sounds of her moans as she came all over my cock.

“Dude, take a seat,” Posey says, snapping me out of my reverie.

My eyes immediately fall on Penny standing next to me, trying to shut her office door.

“Fuck, sorry,” I mumble as I take a deep breath, trying to right my mind. But it’s the wrong move because I’m assaulted by Penny’s perfume. Fuck, that perfume. I’ve been savoring the smell of her perfume on the sweatshirt she borrowed that morning. The intimate scent spikes a wave of arousal in my veins, and before I know it, not only is my head pounding but so is my heart.

Jesus Christ.

I didn’t think this would help, being near her, but I didn’t think it would give me a full-blown attack of lust. An onslaught of human emotions that cause my legs to shake beneath me when we make eye contact.

I’m not keeping it together.

This was why I’ve avoided her. Because I knew the minute I got this close, my body would react in the worst and best way possible.

Holding on by a single thread, I offer her a simple smile and then quickly take a seat next to Lawes, who is relaxed in his chair, manspreading, and looking far too comfortable.

Of course he’s comfortable. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s not the one who fucked one of his teammate’s sisters and still craves for another night alone with her. There are not only cravings but bottles and bottles of need.

No, he met a random person in the woods, fell in love, and is sitting pretty, drama free.

I’m churning inside with yearning and anxiety. So much anxiety because what if I look at her wrong? What if I let something slip? What if, by chance, Pacey can feel that I fucked his sister? I could forget about fixing my headache because I won’t have a head to fix.

Penny takes a seat in her black desk chair and scoots in, then places her hands on the top of her desk. For a moment, and only a moment, I truly allow myself to look at her. She’s so goddamn beautiful. Wide eyes, pert nose, long-as-shit hair that is somehow as shiny as a Christmas ornament, and her tits . . . Christ. What I wouldn’t give just to have one more night sucking on them, playing with them . . . fucking them.

“Thank you so much for coming up here. I know you guys have busy days.”

“Not a problem. Couldn’t pass up a moment to see my sister.”

Jesus, Mr. Sunshine over there, cool it with the peppiness, bro.

Penny smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Rather, it’s washed away and replaced with a knit in her brow.

She clears her throat. “Well, I kind of have something to tell you, and this is hard for me, so just bear with me as I attempt to find the words.”

Mr. Sunshine turns into a ball of concern as he leans forward and places his hand on her desk. “Is everything okay? Did they fire you? Who do I need to talk to?”

That would suck if she was fired, just because I know how much she loves this job, but on a positive—and I know this will make me sound like a total dick—that would mean that maybe I could get over this, well whatever this is that I’m feeling.

Call me a bastard, but fingers crossed she got fired.

“No, nothing like that,” she says as she twists her hands together. Damn it.

And then, she quickly glances at me and looks away.

Shit, don’t look at me. Why did she look at me? There’s no need to look at me like that, like we have something hidden between us, which I know we do, but she doesn’t need to make it known.

Wait . . .

Is that why we’re all fucking here? Is she going rogue?

Is she . . .

Oh fuck, is she going to tell Lawes about our night together?

No, she wouldn’t do that. Why would she? She didn’t want Lawes to know. There would be no reason for her to communicate that with him. Right? Plus, Posey is here. She wouldn’t say something that intimate with Posey around, the bologna-loving brute.

“Then what’s going on?” Pacey asks. “Did you post something that you shouldn’t have? We’ll defend you, don’t worry.”

She shakes her head. “No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

“Maybe if you actually let her speak, she’ll tell us,” I say before I can stop myself. I’m a goddamn bundle of nerves. I need Pacey to shut up so I can find out why we’re here.

Lawes pins me with a seething gaze—he doesn’t appreciate my outburst. I slowly melt in my chair, holding my hands up, not wanting to stir the pot any more.

“You know what, I don’t think this was a good idea,” Penny says while pushing away from her desk. “I’ll, uh, I’ll figure out a better time to do this.”

Okay, fair enough.

She is not in the mood to divulge whatever it is she needs to say, fine by me. Let’s pack up and get the hell out of here.

I start to rise from my chair when Lawes pushes me back down by the shoulder. “Penny, it’s okay. We’re cool. Whatever it is you called us up here for, we’re here to listen. What’s going on?”

Her eyes travel from Lawes, to Posey, and then land on me before she looks back at her brother.

On a deep breath, she finally says, “I called you here because I have to tell you that, uh . . .” She wets her lips. “I, um . . . I’m . . .”

“You’re what?” Pacey presses her.

“Well, you see, it all happened so fast . . .”

Oh my fuck, what is she going to say? She is going to tell him. I can feel it . . . she’s going to tell him about our night.

Why?

“What happened fast?”

I sink lower and lower into my chair, trying to cover my eyes. Maybe if I don’t see Pacey, he won’t see me.

“Uh . . .” she stumbles.

“Penny, just tell us.”

“Fine,” she squeaks. I wince, hold my breath, and then . . . “I’m pregnant.”

Pre . . . pre-what? My body shoots up, I uncover my eyes, and my heart lodges in my throat as all of the blood drains from my head and pools at my ankles.

Did I just hear that fucking correctly?

Did she say . . . gulp . . . pregnant?

“Wait . . . what?” Pacey asks as he pulls on his ear. He chuckles and says, “Jesus Christ, I thought you just said you’re pregnant.”

Yeah, that’s what I heard as well. Maybe I heard her wrong too.

Please, Jesus, I hope I heard her wrong.

“I did,” she says, and once again, I’ve lost all feeling in my legs, my arms, every goddamn piece of my body as I attempt to comprehend what she’s saying. “I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Pacey asks, blinking a few times as if that will help him understand better. “As in there is a child in your stomach?” He points at her.

“Yes.” She winces.

Pacey roars out of his seat and says, “You’re fucking pregnant?”

When I say my dick just shriveled up into my scrotum, I’m not lying. Like goddamn roller blinds being sprung into place, my dick is gone, disappeared for possibly ever. Can’t be sure during this moment of absolute terror.

“Y-yes,” Penny confirms.

“How? How the fuck did this happen?” Pacey says as he looks around the room, pulling on his hair. When he spots us, it’s as if something in his head clicks. “Why the fuck are they here?” He points at Posey and me.

I know why I’m here, but Posey . . . now that’s a good question.

Before she can answer, he turns on us and yells, “Did you fuck my sister?”

Like a bullet out of a cannon, Posey scoots his chair all the way to the window and holds his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t. I never went near her. I have no clue why I’m here. Please don’t kill me.”

And then that leaves me . . .

Pacey turns his throbbing, heaving, ready-to-murder body on me, and says through clenched teeth, “Did you fuck her?”

Shit.

What do I do?

Do I say yes and take whatever Pacey is about to hand me like a man? Or do I pull a Posey and flee like it’s my job while claiming innocence?

I don’t have a chance to react because Penny is standing next to Pacey now, pulling on his hand. “Pacey, stop.” She puts her hand on his chest and sniffles. That’s when I notice the red in her eyes and the dampness of her cheeks.

Fuck, she’s crying.

Pacey sees it too, and the anger that’s ripping through him eases slightly as he takes in his sister.

Through very clenched teeth, he asks, “Did you have sex with Hornsby?”

She swallows, glances at me, and with regret all over her face, she nods. “I did. On his birthday.”

Jesus, we don’t need to get into details.

Pacey’s fists clench at his sides, and he turns toward me. “Are you telling me he’s the father?”

The pause that she takes to answer that question is so fucking torturous. I’m pretty sure I know the answer, but confirmation would be great, on the slightest chance that somehow, someway she was oddly impregnated by Posey, who is still shaking over by the window.

This time, Penny looks at me and says, “Yes, Hornsby is the father.”

I don’t even see it coming, I don’t have enough wherewithal to even process what’s happening, before a pain so severe ricochets through my jaw, and I’m tossed to the ground. Penny lets out a shrill cry at the same time I’m cloaked in two hundred pounds of pure muscle.

“Pacey, don’t.”

I look up just in time to see Lawes cock his arm back, only to be pulled off me and pushed to the ground by Posey.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Posey says, being a human shield for me while I gather my wits. Remind me to buy him two tons worth of bologna after this.

“I told you to stay away from her,” Pacey says as he heaves with rage. “I told you specifically, I warned you because I knew something like this would happen. I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off her.”

When I sit up, I touch the side of my sore jaw as I say, “You say that as if I’m getting women pregnant all around the city. And it wasn’t like I made her have sex with me. It was consensual.”

“It better have been consensual,” Pacey seethes.

“It was,” I say, getting to my feet and standing tall. “And it wasn’t planned. It just happened that one night. I haven’t seen her since. I swear.”

“Great, glad to hear that my sister is disposable like every other girl you’ve been with.”

Shit, that didn’t sound good.

“Not that I didn’t want to do it again with her,” I say. “We just agreed to one night.”

“Do not fucking talk about having sex with my sister ever again.” Pacey turns to Penny and asks, “Are you keeping the baby?”

When my eyes connect with Penny, she says, “Yes. I am. But I don’t expect anything from Hornsby. I just thought—”

“The fuck you’re not,” Pacey says while moving in closer. “This is not your problem to deal with alone. He’s just as much a part of this as you.”

“Yeah, I can, uh, help,” I say awkwardly because who the fuck tells someone they’re pregnant like this? With their brother and . . . a random teammate? Why did she do it like this?

Better yet, why the fuck did she get pregnant? We used protection. We took all the precautions that we were supposed to. Yes, I might have fucked her really damn hard because being inside her felt like heaven, but that doesn’t mean I’d get her pregnant, does it?

And pregnant, she’s fucking pregnant . . . like, she’s carrying my baby.

A baby.

There is going to be a baby in my life.

Holy shit, I’m going to be a dad.

Slowly, I sink back into my chair and grip my hair tightly as all of this finally pierces through my thick skull.

Penny is pregnant, and I’m the father. I’m going to be in charge of another human.

There is no way in hell I’m ready for that.

That’s commitment.

That’s the type of responsibility I don’t think I ever wanted to take on.

“You know, before we make promises that we might not be able to keep, why don’t we just all take this information in, and then we can talk later,” Penny says softly.

“No,” Pacey says while righting his chair that he knocked over. “We’re going to sit down, and we’re going to talk about every goddamn thing Hornsby is going to do for you.”

“Uh, can I ask a question?” Posey says, holding his finger in the air. “Why exactly am I here, and do I have to stay? Because frankly, this is a really uncomfortable and awkward situation for me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Penny says. “I knew Pacey was going to react the way he did—”

“Because my best friend had sex with my sister when I specifically told him not to.”

“I didn’t do it out of spite,” I say. “I’ve fucking liked her for a while.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he asks.

“I thought it would. She wasn’t some random to me.”

Pacey folds his arms now and turns toward me. “So you’re telling me you want to date my sister?”

Bile rises in my throat from the mere thought of dating someone. “No, I mean . . .” I look at Penny, who now is curling in on herself, which feels like a knife to my stomach. “Not that she isn’t great because you are,” I say to her now. “You’re amazing, and I’ve thought about that night so goddamn much—”

“I’m going to murder you,” Pacey says, lurching forward, but Posey saves me just in time, grabbing Pacey by the shoulders and settling him back in his chair.

“I think I’ll stay a bit longer,” Posey says quietly.

I let out a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I enjoyed the night”—Pacey growls—“and, Jesus, calm down. I’m trying to tell her she’s not like other girls, but I’m just not into the dating and commitment thing.”

“Well, you better get used to it,” Pacey snaps at me. “You’re married to her now.”

“Married?” I say, my mouth turning dry.

“Pacey, we’re not getting married. I barely know him,” Penny defends. Thank God, she’s on the same wavelength as I am.

“The fuck I want you two to get married. What I mean is that you’re metaphorically married. You’re attached at the hip now. What you go through, he goes through.”

“That’s not necessary,” Penny says with a shaky voice. “I know how Hornsby wants to live his life, and I don’t want to disturb that.”

“And your life isn’t disturbed?” Pacey asks. “Why does he get to have a life, and you don’t?” Pacey shakes his head now. “Fuck no, he has zero life now. All he’s allowed to do is play hockey and be at your beck and call.”

“You can’t control my life,” I say out of pure habit, honestly not thinking at this point.

“Test me,” Pacey replies, his voice dripping with venom.

“Stop, both of you. This is getting absurd. This is why I didn’t want to say anything and just hide the pregnancy.” Penny crosses her arms and sits on her desk. My eyes go to her legs because, apparently, I want to be a dead man.

“You wouldn’t have been able to hide a pregnancy from me,” Pacey says.

“I hid the fact that I slept with your best friend from you,” Penny shoots back with some fire, and hell, it’s sexy seeing her all fired up. “You didn’t suspect a thing.”

“Are you trying to make me angrier?”

“You know what, Pacey?” She hops off the desk and goes back to her chair, some fight sparking in her. “You are being a bad brother.”

“How the fuck do you see that?”

“Because you’re getting angry when you should be asking me if I’m okay and how you can help. I’ve been fretting over telling you and truly considered not telling you at all, but I thought you deserved to know.” She looks at me. “You as well, Hornsby. But if you two are just going to act like children, then don’t even bother. I can do this myself.”

She then opens the bottom drawer to her desk, pulls out her purse, fits it over her shoulder, and picks up her phone from her purse.

“I’m done for the day. Don’t come see me unless you decide to be supportive and drop all this alpha-male, brother bullshit.”

With that, she rounds the desk and heads toward her door.

Because Posey always buckles under pressure, he calls out, “Congrats on the news. Let me know if you need anything.” He smiles and waves.

Penny pulls her shoulders back and says, “Thank you, Posey.” And then she takes off, leaving us all alone in her office.

I slouch in my chair.

Holy fucking fuck.

What just happened?

Here I was, worried that all these feelings for Penny were going to come rushing forward when I saw her. That should have been the least of my worries. Not only am I leaving this meeting with a heavier dose of wanting another round with her—especially after seeing her stick up for herself to Pacey—but I’m also leaving with the title: daddy.

“WHERE DO you think you’re going?” Pacey calls out as I head to the garage where our cars are parked.

“Uh, home.” Thanks to him and the news, my headache has intensified to blistering levels.

“Oh great, I’m going to your home too.”

I pause mid-stride to my car and turn toward him. “What do you mean you’re going to my home?”

“To help you pack.” Pacey crosses his arms over his brawny chest.

I smooth my hand over my throbbing, aching forehead. “I don’t have the energy for games, so just get to what you want to say, Lawes.”

“You’re going to move in with her.”

“You’ve fucking lost it. I’m not going to run away from my responsibility if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m worried about my sister.” Pacey moves in closer. “She lives alone, and the idiot who knocked her up is out of town for half of the season. She’ll be going through this alone. As much as you like to think you’re going to be the responsible one, she’s still taking the brunt.”

I hate that I didn’t think about it that way. Then again, I haven’t had much time to think about this at all. I’m still trying to comprehend that I’m going to be a father in nine months. But unfortunately, Pacey is right. I have no choice but to leave her by herself when we have to travel for away games.

“Moving in with her is not going to help,” I say, denial wrapping around me in a solid chokehold. “It’s not like I can carry the baby myself.”

“I know that, you dipshit.” Pacey pushes at my shoulder, and I bump into the wall.

“Watch it,” I warn. “You might have gotten in a cheap shot at the office, but not now.”

“Are you really threatening me?” Pacey asks. “You slept with my sister and got her pregnant. I’m pretty sure you should be thanking your lucky stars I haven’t cut your dick off.”

“She wasn’t supposed to get pregnant.” I don’t know why I said that. Honestly, I can’t think. My head is hurting way too fucking much.

“So you were just supposed to fuck her and leave her?”

“She wanted that too. A single night.” I hold my arms out. “What the hell am I supposed to say?”

“You’re supposed to keep your dick in your pants and send her home in a cab, ALONE! Jesus fuck, Eli.” The sound of my first name coming off his tongue feels like a razor blade to the heart. We rarely call each other by our first names. “Do you realize how big of a hit this is to our friendship? I can’t even . . . fuck, I can barely look at you. You, out of anyone, should know how hard it is to have one parent. Do you even remember how hard your mom worked before she passed away?”

My teeth grind together as his words sting my very soul. “I’m not going to be a deadbeat dad. Just give me a goddamn second to wrap my head around this. I’ve barely had a second to think about it.”

Pacey slowly nods. “You know, you’re right, you spend your time thinking about it. In the meantime, Penny will be carrying the baby and dealing with everything that comes with pregnancy, alone. But sure, take your time.”

I scrub my hand over my face. “I don’t know what you want from me, Pacey.”

“I want you to step up and take care of her, or someone else is going to, and not only will they take care of her but they will take care of that baby too.”

My eyes narrow. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”

“I mean, if you don’t step up now, then don’t bother, because you’re only going to be an extra problem she doesn’t need.”

“I’m going to be a part of this baby’s life,” I say, my anger spiking from what he’s implying. Pacey knows about my family life, about my history. We dove deep into it one night during the off-season. It was a starry night in Banff at Taters’s cabin—where we spend a month during the off-season—we each had a beer in hand, and I told him about never having a dad and losing my mom when I was twelve. I told him that I had to move in with a distant relative. It was an emotional conversation, one where he got to understand me on a deeper level. “I’m not my father,” I say, my throat rough from the thought of actually being like that man.

“Then prove it to me. Pack your shit and move in with Penny.”

He’s serious.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this serious.

It seems I need to find some moving boxes.