Their Bonds of Love

Making his way downstairs to eat an early breakfast, Caerwyn didn’t expect to see anyone in the entry hall. Yet, Emilia stood close to the door as if she had just entered, wearing a dark cloak, splattered with mud, and an exhausted expression on her face.

“I didn’t expect to see you back yet for a few days,” said Caerwyn as he cleared the last two steps.”

“It was getting too difficult to remain unnoticed out in the land, so I met with all I could before I found my way here,” she replied as she took off her cloak.

“What is going on that you cannot meet with people safely?”

“All the inns in every village I came to were so full they were setting out pallets in the common areas. Folks had taken to setting up tents around towns. Anywhere near Niamhan or the edge of the red forest is full.”

“Did you find out why?” asked Caerwyn.

“Usually, the villages fill up a bit in preparation for the Winter Moon Festival. Folks start coming down a month out to be with their families and secure inns in the city, but this is beyond anything I have ever seen. The few I was able to speak with talked of sickness, food shortages, and destroyed settlements, especially along the river. They had been traveling for months place to place trying to find somewhere to settle.”

“This does not sound like good news. You will need to report this to Lord Cadwin. Perhaps he has heard of things like it in the land.”

“What do you plan to report to Lord Cadwin?” asked Prince Conri as he walked down the stairs. He gave a bow as he reached the bottom. “Lady Farrow, I am glad to see you have returned safely once again.”

Emilia looked uncertainly at the prince. “Thank you, your highness. I plan to stay put for a while. I was just telling Caerwyn there is no way to get good information with so many people crowding the villages. It seems there is trouble in the land.”

“What sort of trouble?” sked the prince.

“Nothing for you to concern yourself with at this point,” said Caerwyn, thinking the prince had enough worries without adding some troubling reports about Elathia. He had just begun to socialize more with the house. Caerwyn did not wish to cause the prince to retreat into himself again.

“I don’t believe it is your job to tell me what I should concern myself with,” said Prince Conri with a huff. “I am to rule this land, and I should know if there are problems.”

“Emilia did not speak with many people and probably doesn’t have the full picture. It would better if she reported it to Lord Cadwin so he can look further into it before you trouble yourself,” replied Caerwyn.

“Lady Farrow, I know you must be tired from your travels, but would you join me in the dining room for just a bit. I am sure you are hungry, and you could tell me what you learned.”

Emilia glanced at Caerwyn, who gave her a small shrug. “I will join you, your highness. As Caerwyn said, I did not find out much, but I will be happy to tell you all I know.”

“That is all I ask.” Prince Conri walked past Caerwyn and held out his arm to Emilia. She took it, and they walked together towards the dining parlor.

Caerwyn took a moment to breathe. Even though Prince Conri had been friendly with everyone else in the house, he continued to be cold towards Caerwyn. Caerwyn understood it. He knew how he would react if someone hurt Eleri. He had many thoughts of what he would do to Lord Fellen, Bren, and his own father once he faced them. He would want to make sure they paid for every suffering they caused Eleri.

Of course, if he was going to start punishing people for causing pain to Eleri, he had to include himself. Over the years, he told himself over and over that he was letting her go for her own good. Yet, instead of letting her be, he kept coming back, always drawing her back into his arms and bed. He did love her. He didn’t believe he would ever love anyone as he did her, but he did not deserve her.

Beyond that, he knew now that he could never make her happy. Perhaps if he had done what he should from the beginning, they could have worked, but now too much pain and mistrust existed between them. He had pushed her away too many times and then given into the temptation to be with another.

He would never stop loving her, but he would show that love in making sure she had everything she wanted and needed in life. If that were the prince, he would serve them both as they took their crowns. He would give his life for either of them if it were needed. He would suffer being by her side, knowing what they could have been, as long as she was safe and loved.

He went to the dining room to find Conri sitting next to Emilia as she told him what she learned on her journey. Conri was listening and refilling her teacup as Caerwyn sat down across from them. He wondered that the prince was so attentive to Emilia. He had a moment of irritation with them both. Why should he be the only one to be blamed for his discretion with Emilia?

As he watched Conri politely ask Emilia questions, he felt a little ashamed of himself. He shouldn’t mind that the prince was not opposed to Emilia’s company. Caerwyn had hurt the woman enough already. It was not she who claimed to love another and then given herself to Caerwyn. She had deep feelings for him, and he knew it. He took advantage of them to alleviate his pain. He sat in silence, only eating a few bites, wondering how he had ever gained the love of two extraordinary women and then wasted them both.

Prince Conri stood up. “I’m going to walk outside for a bit before we meet, Caerwyn. It seems that you aren’t finished with breakfast, so take your time. I will be close to the stables when you are ready.”

Caerwyn nodded as the prince walked away.

Emilia watched him go before looking at Caerwyn. “The prince’s mood seems better than before I left. Have you received news on Lady Eleri?”

“No, but the prince has put more of an effort lately to interact with all in the house except me. I suppose I deserve his coldness.”

“He will have to get past it eventually. He will need to trust you if he is to take his throne. Besides Lady Eleri, you are the most important person of his court,” said Emilia.

“I am not sure how to regain his trust,” said Caerwyn. “Not after what I’ve done.”

“And loving the same woman as him can’t help matters. He must feel in competition with you.”

Caerwyn finished his cup of tea, putting his cup down hard. “If there is a competition for Eleri’s love, I doubt I am in the running. I have hurt her too many times.”

Emilia looked down at her plate, using her fork to push around the small bit of food on it. “You must hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?”

“The things we did together caused you to lose the woman you love. When you see me, I am sure all you feel is regret. I suppose that is why you have been avoiding me when I am here.”

Caerwyn stood up and moved to a seat next to her. “I do not blame you for anything, Emilia. What I did was by my own accord. I only feel guilt for hurting you. That is why I have stayed away from you as much as I can. I know when you see me, you must feel pain.”

She looked up at him. “The only pain I see is reflected from you. I know how important Eleri is to you, and now, you aren’t sure if you will ever see her alive again. I am worried for her, Caerwyn. She is a good woman whom I have always thought well of. What you are experiencing must be at least twice as bad.”

Caerwyn looked away, putting his hand in his lap as it shook. “She always had hope for us. Time and time again, I pushed her away, but she accepted what love I gave her every time. She gave me chance and chance, and I let them all slip away.

“I know I have lost her forever. I don’t plan even to try to win her back, but to think she could be gone.” Caerwyn cleared his throat as Emilia stared at him with compassion.

“Then, on the last day I may ever see her, I caused her immense pain. The thought of her no longer being in this world is more than I can take. Add to it that she will leave this place only remembering me as the man who broke her heart over and over is just….”

Caerwyn turned away, feeling overwhelmed. He wiped at a tear that had formed when he heard someone shuffled their feet somewhere close by. He looked up to see Prince Conri standing by the door.

“I forgot my gloves,” he said softly as he pointed to the table.

Caerwyn stood up. “I’m and ready to go, your highness. We should get started as I believe it is already cloudy this morning, and I would hate to think we would miss our chance to work because of rain or snow.”

“Caerwyn, we don’t have to go out today,” offered the prince.

“We cannot waste one moment to prepare, your highness.” He looked down at Emilia. “Emilia, I hope you will take at least the morning to rest. I know you must be exhausted from your trip.”

“I plan to go to my room for a while, but I will be back down for lunch. I hope you both have a pleasant morning.”

Caerwyn walked to the field with Conri in silence, but it wasn’t their usual silence. Instead of the prince walking ahead of Caerwyn, appearing to want to get their time together over, he stayed close to Caerwyn and glanced at him several times. When they got to the field, they stood together instead of immediately walking into the trees.

“Is there something you wanted, your highness?” asked Caerwyn.

Conri turned towards him, shifting from one foot to the other. His anxious behavior reminded Caerwyn of when he first met the prince. He seemed so young and excited about seeing the world then. His youthful enthusiasm was catching, and at the time, it reminded Caerwyn that he was still a young man as well. It was as if Conri had aged years in just a few months.

“What are you grinning about?” asked Conri.

“I was just reminded of when we first met, your highness.”

“Oh, and what did you think of me at the time?”

Caerwyn grinned again. “I was afraid I would find you annoying. You were young, and I thought you would pester me with questions and not be willing to work.”

“Young? I am a little over a year younger than you, Caerwyn,” said Prince Conri sounding irritated.

“True, but I believe we have lived our years very differently. Age is one thing, and experience is another.”

“I had seen too little, and I know I still have not seen enough,” He stopped fidgeting and looked at Caerwyn with more kindness than Caerwyn had seen in the prince’s eyes in a while. “You have seen too much, I think.”

“I did what I felt I had to do. When my uncle was killed, I had to take over as the Bright One before I was ready.”

“The responsibility must have felt like it was crushing you. I am sure it still does,” said the prince.

“I have learned to shoulder it, though I have made many mistakes. I have paid for them dearly, though, and will continue to do so.”

“I hope not too dearly,” said Conri quietly.

“Hope is a strange thing. It changes as we do. What I once hoped for, even in my darkest moments, is gone. I once thought I could not live without that hope, but now that I have lost it, I find I have a new one. I am afraid it will not be as fulfilling, but it is enough to keep me going.” He took a deep breath, seeing the mist hanging in the air. “Only wanting the chance to apologize to someone is a strange hope to have.”

“Lord Havens once told me that forgiveness is a powerful thing. It can change someone’s course and even save a man’s life. I do not think it is a strange thing to hope for. I believe it is a good reason to keep going.”

Caerwyn nodded. “Especially knowing that getting that chance means the one I hold more dear than anyone in this world will get the opportunity to live as she deserves.”

Conri looked away as Caerwyn brushed his hair out of his eyes and looked up. “We should shift if we are going to get any work done. I wouldn’t mind being out in the snow, but it doesn’t feel cold enough for it. I despise being wet.”

Conri nodded, and they started walking to opposite sides of the field. Before he got to the treeline, the prince turned around. “I hope you get to apologize as well, Caerwyn, and get the forgiveness you need.”

“Thank you, your highness.”

After their time together, Caerwyn and Conri walked back to the house. Conri was more receptive about any criticism or praise Caerwyn had but was still somewhat stiff and withholding in his manner. It was a small improvement that Caerwyn was grateful for. He needed to find a way to earn the prince’s trust again, even if he could never regain their friendship.

By the time they got to the table for lunch, all were assembled. There were only two chairs left side by side. Caerwyn noticed all eyes turned towards them, watching what the prince would do. He sat down with no hesitation in the one closest to Lord Cadwin and looked up at Caerwyn. “I’m rather hungry, Caerwyn. The quicker you sit, the sooner we can all start eating.”

Caerwyn sat down, trying not to grin. As they all filled their plates and quietly spoke, a servant came in with a message for Lord Cadwin. Caerwyn watched Lord Cadwin as he read the front before opening it. He lightly hit Conri with his arm to get his attention and nodded towards Lord Cadwin.

“Does that letter bring any news, my lord?” asked Conri with a voice that showed he expected to be disappointed.

Lord Cadwin slowly nodded, and the table grew quiet. “Lord Cecil, who served as the sixth advisor with me, has seen and spoken with Eleri. He has long been working his way into Lord Fellen’s good graces to gain information on the man. A feast was held just three nights ago in the main palace courtyard, and Eleri was in attendance.”

“How is she?” asked Conri quickly as he leaned over towards Lord Cadwin. “Have they hurt her? Did they have her on display as a prisoner?”

“She was the honored guest at the banquet, her and Lloyd Farrow,” said Lord Cadwin.

“Lloyd Farrow?” asked Emilia. “Lord Farrow’s great uncle?”

“He was brought in to give an opinion on the prophecy based on its original language and meaning. Lord Cecil doubts what was stated was the truth, but it was what Lord Fellen wished all to hear.”

“What was said?” asked Efa.

Lord Cadwin moved the letter down in his hands to better read from it. “That the Gildan’s refused to do their duty to Elathia by allowing Ordinaries to flourish. It was stated that they refused to do as the goddess wished, and therefore, the land has suffered. In doing so, the Gildans gave up their right to the crown, and Lord Fellen was forced to dispose of them to save Elathia.”

“That is ridiculous,” said Efa as she looked at Conri. “How could anyone believe it?”

“People will believe anything if they want to,” said Selven from down the table. “The things I have heard people rationalize are beyond sense. If those who serve Lord Fellen wish for fewer Ordinaries and more powers for shifters and themselves, they will latch on to this interpretation of the prophecy no matter how outrageous.”

“Why would the last Silver Priest of the temple lie? He was appointed by a Gildan and gave up much to serve King Rory and the goddess,” said Lord Havens. He looked around as everyone turned to him. “I enjoy our land’s history and have studied much about it.”

“Lloyd Farrow must be ninety-five years old,” said Lord Cadwin. “He may not even know where he was, let alone what was said.” He continued reading from the letter. “The prophecy all stated that above all Eleri will be queen over Elathia.”

“Meaning Lord Fellen believes if he can marry Eleri, he will truly be king,” said Caerwyn feeling his wolf become unsettled. He pushed away his plate, knowing he could not eat.

“Is there more?” asked Conri. “You said Lord Cecil spoke with Eleri.”

“He says she appears mostly unharmed though looked a little thin and tired. From what he has heard, he believes Lord Fellen is trying to have Ciara control her in some way but has not had an easy time.”

Efa gave a short laugh. “Eleri is more than they know. If Ciara Sullivan is like her mother, she will be lucky to work up the power to overcome Eleri in any way.”

“She was adamant she would not do anything to betray her beliefs or Prince Conri, but Lord Cecil has hopes he got through to her. He told her to do what she needed to keep safe. He hopes his wife and Lady Rees will be able to visit with Eleri now that a certain event has been scheduled.” Lord Cadwin looked up from his letter at Conri and Caerwyn.

“What event?” asked Conri.

“What else could it be but his wedding to Eleri?” Caerwyn felt his anger rise as his wolf growled, thinking of the man trying to take her.

Conri looked at Caerwyn before turning towards Lord Cadwin, who nodded. “He announced their betrothal and said they would be united at the Winter Moon Festival.”

“But that is a little over three weeks away,” said Conri breathlessly.

“I’m a little surprised he is waiting so long,” said Lord Cadwin. “I suppose he hopes to gain Eleri’s permission to mark her.”

Conri gripped the table hard as Caerwyn worked to control his breathing. “He will never get it,” said Caerwyn. “You know she would never do it.”

“Not under her own will,” said Efa. “It would take some enchantment to make her do it, but do not worry, your highness, as I said, Ciara will not have an easy time breaking through Eleri’s magic even if they try to subdue it. Her mother was had power like the land has never seen, and I have sensed it in Eleri as well.”

“Eleri can protect herself,” said Lord Cadwin. “But I don’t think we can wait much longer to go fetch her.”

“We should have gone weeks ago,” said Eleri. “I can’t believe I have let her just sit in that palace while they worked to control her. No matter how uninjured she looks, I am sure she has not been without pain.”

“Selvyn, if this letter came, that must mean one of your men is close. Can you find a way to get them to send a letter back today?”

“I believe I know where he will be, my lord. If you write it before tonight, I can take it to him,” replied Selvyn.

“I will go now,” said Lord Cadwin as he stood. Before he left, he looked down at Conri. “There was a message for you as well, your highness. Something Eleri asked Lord Cecil to tell you after he gave her your words for her.”

“What is it?” asked Conri.

“She has not forgotten; in fact, her memory improves every day.”

Efa reached across the table and took Conri’s hand with a teary smile. “She will stay strong for you, Conri. She will do it for all of us.”

“Perhaps you would like to come with me, your highness, as I write my letter. Lord Cecil believes his wife or Lady Rees might be able to sneak in a short message to Eleri. I think it should come from her future king,” said Lord Cadwin.

Conri stood up. “I will be happy to accompany you, my lord.” He looked down at Caerwyn. “Perhaps the Bright one should join us. We need to start discussing our plan to travel to Niamhan.”

As Caerwyn stood up, he saw a few smiles around the table. He followed Conri out of the room, and the prince turned and looked at him. “Perhaps both of our hopes will come true, Caerwyn.”

“I hope so, your highness.”