Their Bonds of Love

Waking up with the sun, Caerwyn stretched in his bed and shivered. It was freezing in his room as the fire had gone out sometime in the night. He supposed it was too early for a servant to come in and see to it, so he bundled up under his covers and tried to go back to sleep. He knew it was no use. No matter how late he had stayed up, he was too cold, and his head was too full to find more rest.

He thought back to the last dance of the evening with Emilia. She appeared happier than he had seen her in a while, laughing easily and continually smiling.

“What has happened to make you so at ease?” he asked.

“Many things, I suppose. I’ve never been to a festival with this many people. It makes me think there is hope for the land after all. Then, my soul feels lighter after speaking with Eleri. I was afraid she would be angry with me, but she put me at ease quickly. I should have known she would not hold anything against me.”

“She does not hold grudges easily. She is always quick to forgive. I think she has been too generous with me this time.”

Emilia shook her head. “You hurt her, but she still cares for you. I am sure you coming to help save her showed her that you still care for her.” Emilia looked at him closely as they turned. “Of course, her being deeply in love and happy could have something to do with it.”

“I am sure it does. I only hope she can rest secure in their love. She appeared jealous for a moment when Conri was dancing with Lord Cecil’s youngest daughter.”

“She is a beauty and quite a flirt, but surely Eleri knows the king would never look at another over her. Every time I saw him tonight, he was either staring at Eleri or looking for her,” said Emilia.

“Perhaps she finds it hard to trust even in the surest love. I think I will have to take much of the blame for it.”

“Yes, you will,” said Emilia. “You did her very wrong all those years, but you can not change it now. You can only wish her well and do your duty so she and her king can live a long, happy life.”

Caerwyn was quiet for a moment. “And you think you want to be bound to me in some way, seeing how I damaged Eleri?”

Emilia sighed. “My eyes are more open than hers to reality, and I have to say I do not love as feely as her. It does not mean I do not love deeply, but I know what is to be expected. I do love you, Caerwyn, but I know who you are and all your faults.” She waited for a moment. “I said I would always love you, and I will, but it does not mean I will wait for you. You once called me a woman of opportunity, and I suppose I am. If after things are settled in Elathia, I find that you do not want me, I will find the best opportunity for one like me.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you,” said Caerwyn quickly. “I think you can guess from my past actions that I want you very much. I don’t want to keep you from a better opportunity, as you call it. If you can find a man who will love you without conditions or barriers, I want you to do it.”

“Even if I would rather have half of your heart than the whole of anyone else’s?” she asked. “The only thing coming between us is you. If you want me in your life, all you have to do is ask.”

The music ended, and everyone started either for the door to travel home or to their rooms. “Walk me to my room, Caerwyn,” said Emilia. He nodded, and they followed the crowd to the stairs. Many left on the second floor, and a few others traveled to the fourth. Emilia and Caerwyn were the only ones who turned down the right hallway of the third. They got to Emilia’s door and stopped to face each other.

“You can come in, you know. Even if you aren’t ready to make a decision, we could have tonight. It is a special occasion being a festival and all,” said Emilia.

He leaned down and pulled her close, wanting very much to take her up on her invite. He kissed her as she put her hands up to his face.

“I need time to think,” he said as he pulled away. “If this happens between us, then I don’t want it to be a thing that happens just on special occasions or when we have drunk too much. I want it to be real. Let us save the land and then see where we are.”

She nodded before reaching up and kissing him quickly. “I can give you that as long as you know that I am always here if you change your mind or decide early. As always, I do not expect anything other than what you are willing to give.”

“Good night, Emilia.”

“Sleep well, Caerwyn.”

He had not slept well, and he thought he would be much warmer in his bed with Emilia by his side. He could have taken her up on her offer. He could have loved her the night before and then decided never to stop. He could spend every night with her in his arms, and he knew it would not be a miserable existence. It would be more than that to be so loved by a good woman such as her.

Still, he needed to think it over. He needed to give her time to ensure she was sure no matter what she said. Perhaps she could find a better opportunity while he waited. He knew it would hurt if she did, but if it were better for her, he could live with it. After losing Eleri, he thought he could live with just about anything.

He got out of bed and threw on some clothes before stepping out into the hallway. As he emerged, he met the king quietly, closing Eleri’s door, wearing only his pants and shirt from the night before, and carrying his crown.

“Good morning, Caerwyn,” said Conri as he straightened up.

“Good morning, your majesty. I didn’t expect to meet anyone this early out here, least of all you,” said Caerwyn.

“I was only going to my room for a moment to get some comfortable, warm clothes while Eleri sleeps. I have a day planned with her, and I want to be ready.”

“Ah,” said Caerwyn. “Then I shouldn’t keep you.”

“Are you alright, Caerwyn?” asked Conri. “You don’t look like you slept very well.”

“I did not, but do not worry. I have spent many days on little sleep.”

Conri looked at him. “If there is something you wish to talk about, normally I would say come into my room and chat, but I do have plans today.”

“There is nothing the matter, your majesty. Go do what you need to do. I will see you this afternoon or evening perhaps.”

“Perhaps,” said Conri with a large smile. “But I rather hope not.”

Caerwyn took a deep breath. “Have a pleasant day.”

“You as well,” said the king as he walked to his room.

Caerwyn continued downstairs, going to the dining parlor to see if any breakfast was laid out yet. He was surprised to see ample food and Lord Cadwin at the table.

“I did not expect to see you up so early, my lord,” said Caerwyn as he sat down.

“With so many guests in the house, I didn’t feel I had the luxury of sleeping in. With everything that will happen over the next few weeks, I doubt any of us will get as much sleep as we like,” responded Lord Cadwin.

Caerwyn silently agreed as he poured some tea and filled his plate. “Last night went well, I believe. I think everyone was pleased with the crowning and the betrothal.”

Lord Cadwin took a long drink of his tea as he nodded. “I hope word of it will get back to Naimhan somehow. I hate to say I hope we had some spies and traitors among us, but I rather counted on it.”

“Any ideas who?”

“Not really. There are several possibilities as more than a few came last night who never spoke out against the killing of our king and queen. If they really do wish to help us take Elathia, I will not say a word, but I cannot trust them.” Lord Cadwin finished his tea and looked at Caerwyn. “Are you alright this morning, Caerwyn? I know last night could not have been easy for you. You have lost much lately, including any relationship with your father.”

“I never had much of a relationship with him anyway. I didn’t want to believe he was a traitor. He has many faults, but I thought he was at least loyal to the Gildans since his brother died serving them.”

“You never know what is going through a person’s mind at times. I am sure your father meant to be loyal to the Gildans, but when what was happening didn’t match his vision, he felt he had to take his own course. I believe your father likes control,” said Lord Cadwin.

“I will not argue with you as I believe you are right.”

“But still, you must feel his loss, and I know you watched the betrothal with mixed emotions.”

Caerwyn shrugged. “I have known for a while now where Eleri’s heart lies, and it is safer with our king. I cannot help how I feel about her, but to serve her and our king is all I can wish for now. After what happened, just to see her safe and healthy is enough. If she were lost, I am not sure how I would go on beyond finding vengeance.

“I’m afraid our king is the same way. If we were to lose Eleri, we would have a hard time taking back Elathia for a few reasons. We might lose some support from those who follow the prophecy, and I am not sure King Conri could take it.”

Lord Cadwin looked down with a sad smile. “You would be surprised what someone could take when they lose something precious. When I first lost my best friend, facing each day seemed impossible. I moved in such a fog as I worked with my father to save Conri. I depended on Elen to remind me to take care of myself. Once I was settled here, I spent many late nights gazing at Eleri as she slept.

“Then that terrible day when I found my beloved wife dead in the forest, I just knew I would die with her that night. I stayed by her side, waiting for Efa, trying to understand what had happened. When she told me, all I wanted was to find the one who did it and bring them to an end.

“I was in my studying gathering things when Eleri came to me. She said nothing as she grabbed my hand with her small one. I looked down at her and knew that all Elen would want was for me to stay with Eleri and help her get through her loss. Together we did it. We were both changed, but we made it through.”

“Each time you had a loss, you had something else to live for, my lord. If the king loses Eleri, what will he have to hang on to?” asked Caerwyn with a held breath. He was talking about himself as much as the king.

“The same thing I would have to cling to, which is the knowledge that my daughter would want us all to continue fighting for Elathia and its people. If she dies in pursuit of saving our land, she would want us to honor her sacrifice by continuing to fight and then living well.”

“Then that is what I shall do,” said Caerwyn. “I pray she has a long life with our king, but I will never love her as I wished. So I will serve this land and our king and queen. I will do everything to help her and our king make Elathia into what it was truly meant to be.”

Lord Cadwin nodded as he poured more tea. “You should spend at least a little time seeing to your own happiness as well. Eleri would like you to be happy.”

Caerwyn sighed loudly. “She has told me so, and I am afraid one day it will become one of her little missions in life.”

“Then you might as well give up now, Caerwyn. Whatever she has planned, you should at least try to agree to it because you know she will not rest until she has her way if she truly believes it is right.” Lord Cadwin chuckled. “She is so much like Elen, and I sometimes wonder what it would be like had my wife lived. None of us would have had much peace until the land and our lives looked exactly like they thought it should.”

“She is not always right,” said Caerwyn with a grin. “She declared for years she would not follow the prophecy and be the queen. She was determined not to fall in love with the prince. Perhaps that is why she tried so hard with me.”

“Maybe,” said Lord Cadwin. “But she also loved you. Do not dismiss what she felt for you. Eleri has always been a big believer in love. That is why I know she must truly love our king. Only love would have persuaded her to give up her plan not to follow the prophecy. I don’t think she will give up any plans she has for you, though, because after all that has happened, she cares for you very much. What she wants for you must be grounded in love.”

Any further conversation between the two of them was interrupted by Lord Cecil as he came into the room with his youngest daughter. She sat down next to Caerwyn with a smile before looking at Lord Cadwin.

“I wasn’t able to congratulate you on your daughter’s betrothal last night, my lord. You must be very proud to think she will be a queen,” said Lady Riona.

“I am very happy she is going to marry the man she loves, my lady. That is all I wish for her, and I am sure your father can understand it. He must only want that for you.”

“Of course,” said Lady Cecil. “My eldest daughter is very happily wed and will soon have her first child. Otherwise, she would be here pledging her allegiance to our king and offering to serve on his court.”

“I suppose it was lucky that Rena fell in love with the son of an upper lord loyal to the Gildans,” said Riona with a laugh. “Just as it is quite convenient that Lady Eleri should find her happiness with the very king many say she was destined for. I hope I have such luck.”

Caerwyn eyed her suspiciously, not liking how she was speaking of Eleri.

She poured some tea and looked at Caerwyn. “Do you know what the king plans to do on this day of rest? It is still a festival, after all. I hope he will come spend some time with us all.”

“I believe he plans to spend the day quietly with his future wife,” said Caerwyn. “He is very attached to her, and they were apart for some time. They will wish to celebrate their betrothal in private, I believe.”

Lady Riona took a sip of tea as she smiled. “I hope they can find a quiet place with the house so full. They will at least join us for supper, I am sure.”

Caerwyn was not, but he didn’t want to argue with the woman. He excused himself and walked out of the dining parlor, coming across Emilia as she came down the stairs.

“Good morning, Caerwyn,” she said with a bright smile, looking more lovely and fresh than she had any right to after such a late night.

He looked at her for a moment remembering Eleri and Lord Cadwin’s words. He had no doubt Eleri wished him to be happy. She talked with Emilia and must have heard enough to think he could find some form of it with Emilia. It was difficult for him to accept, but he needed to try, didn’t he? His father was wrong about many things, it seems, and why should his solitary life not be one of them.

“Good morning, Emilia. If you are free later, perhaps you and I could go for a quick walk. I know it is rather cold, but we do not have to go far,” said Caerwyn.

She looked surprised for one moment before nodding. “I would like that. I can meet you in an hour here if you like?”

He took her hand. “That sounds perfects.” He gave her hand a quick kiss before letting it go. She looked at him curiously before leaving him in the entry hall.

As he moved towards the parlor, he heard a short, familiar laugh. He looked up to see Eleri peeking down at him with the king behind her. “If you wish to escape somewhere, now would be a good time. Whoever is awake is currently in the dining parlor, and I think you could make it out onto the grounds wherever you are going without being seen.”

He didn’t wait around to see if they answered. Instead, he left for the parlor to wait for his own escape from the house with Emilia.