Their Bonds of Love

He rolled his neck as he stood outside the house with Aron by his side. It was time to go back to Cadwin Manor, and Caerwyn supposed he was relieved. It would be good to at least sleep in a good bed. There would be others there to speak with and distract him. He knew he would have to watch Eleri with the prince, and he thought he had reconciled himself to it. Yet, seeing them together hurt more than he imagined.

She laughed so easily with Conri, and it was rare she did not have some sort of smile or grin on her face when she looked at him. They were always touching in some way, whether it was holding hands or leaning on one another, and though they were both polite and attentive to everyone around, they appeared always to be hyper-aware of the other. They had only known each other for five months or so, but you would think it had been years.

Caerwyn wondered if it would have been like that with him and Eleri had he not pushed her away. If he had accepted that he loved her from the start and truly courted her, would they have grown so close that they almost seemed as one? Could it have been him whom she smiled at constantly? Could he have made her laugh so easily? Would he had been so fortunate always to have her near, being able to hold or hand or feel her lean against him.

He thought back to the few weeks at a time they spent together over the years. It always seemed so idyllic to him. They would spend days walking through the woods or riding over the roads. Sometimes they would find places out in the wild to express their love. At night he was free to show her how she affected him. He experienced her intense passion and then held her as she fell asleep.

He looked back on those times now and saw that while they were wonderful, they were always tainted by the idea that they couldn’t last. While Eleri enjoyed herself, he saw now that she was never truly free to enjoy his attentions or give hers openly. She always knew he would leave her. She would always have to hear how it was wrong for them to be together.

The door to the house opened, and Eleri walked out with Conri and Efa. She laughed at something the prince said while Efa looked at them both fondly. Eleri had never looked so beautiful to Caerwyn. Though she was still a little ill and tired, the pure joy on her face made her even lovelier than before. She looked at the prince in a way he had never experienced. It was one of complete trust and free love.

“Are we ready?” Eleri asked as they came close. She turned towards Deri. “You will stay here with Aron for a bit, and Efa will come back for you. I know you haven’t traveled this way before, but I promise you it will not hurt.”

“I really don’t mind going by horse, my lady. You can explain the way to me. I would hate to leave these creatures behind.”

“Lord Cecil is sending someone for them later today,” said Efa. “You don’t need to worry, Deri. I will rest for a while and then come back for you, Aron, and Selven. You will not be harmed.” She turned to Eleri. “I will take you, Conri, and Caerwyn now. You do not need to help me as I do not want you expending any unnecessary energy. I can tell you are still weak and ill, so there is no use lying to me.”

“I will do nothing, Aunt Efa,” said Eleri. “I’m not sure I could call upon my power right now if I tried.”

“It will come back to you; do not worry,” said Efa. “Now come and grab my arm, Eleri, while you hold on to your prince. Caerwyn grab my other arm.’

They all got into position, and Efa closed her eyes. Eleri waved to Aron and Deri before Caerwyn closed his eyes and felt the wind pick up around him. When he opened his eyes, he saw Cadwin Manor before him. He immediately turned to Eleri, who had tears running down her cheeks.

“It feels like yesterday that I was here and forever as well,” she said. “I’ve never been so glad to see my home.”

“Come along, my love,” said Conri. “Your father should not have to wait a minute longer to see his daughter is safe.” Eleri took his arm, and they moved forward.

Caerwyn and Efa walked behind them. “I hope you can find a way to be happy for her, Caerwyn. She cares for you, and your support would mean a lot to her.”

“It is harder than I thought it would be. I knew I would suffer seeing her with him, but I didn’t expect her to be so different than she was with me. I’ve never seen her laugh or smile so easy,” said Caerwyn.

“She was a very joyful child, but it all changed after her mother died. Since then, she has been much more serious. It is good to see her laugh again. I am sure some of it is due to the euphoria of being marked, but I hope at least some of it sticks.”

“She does deserve some joy after all that has happened to her. She will need it as we move forward. I’m afraid things will be very difficult for a while.”

Efa nodded. “It will not be long until we have to join together with others to truly take Elathia back from those who will see it destroyed. Eleri will be a big part of it, especially now that he has made her choice.”

“And her choice will mean she will be queen,” finished Caerwyn. “I suppose it was always meant to be, after all.”

“Perhaps it was, but their love is very real.”

“I know,” said Caerwyn.

“I believe we have been spotted,” said Efa.

Caerwyn looked up to see the front door was open. Lord and Lady Havens stood close to the door with Aella. Emilia was in front of them, and Lord Cadwin was walking to meet Eleri. He moved into a jog as he got closer, and Eleri let go of Conri. She practically jumped into her father’s arms as he enveloped her in a tight hug. Caerwyn and Efa caught up to stand next to Conri and watched. He could hear Eleri was sobbing, and tears were coming down Lord Cadwin’s face.

“My darling girl,” he said without letting her go. “I was so afraid I would never see you again.”

“I missed you so much, father. I worried about you every day.”

He pulled back and held her arms. “You worried about me?”

She nodded. “I knew what happened must have brought back some awful memories.”

“You are here now, and that is all that matters.” He looked her up and down. “You aren’t injured, are you?”

“She will be alright, Ewan,” said Efa. “Let us go in the house so we can rest, and we will tell you all. I need to get back to grab the others before lunch.”

Lord Cadwin looked around. “Did everyone make it back?”

“Yes, father,” said Eleri. “We even have a new addition which you will wish to speak with. I’m afraid Selven’s father would not join us.”

“Come alone, my love,” said Prince Conri as he put his hand on Eleir’s back. “The others will want to greet you, and then you must sit down. We can tell your father what happened inside.”

She took Conri’s hand as Lord Cadwin smiled at them. “I believe you might have many interesting things to tell me.”

“More than you know or might be ready for,” muttered Efa as she hurried forward to meet Grace.

Emilia greeted Eleri briefly with a large smile before she met Caeryn, taking his hand. “I’m so glad you are back safely and successful.” Her smile faded as she looked up at him. “Everything went well, didn’t it?”

“For the most part,” said Caerwyn. “Eleri is where she belongs, and that is enough.”

“I am happy you are here, Caerwyn. I worried about you.” They both watched as Lord Havens greeted Eleri, and Lady Havens embraced Conri.

“And everything was quiet here?”

“It was though all of us have been on edge. When you didn’t come home by last night, Lord Cadwin was frantic. Lord Havens and I managed to calm him down. He spent half the night telling us stories of Eleri and Lady Cadwin. The poor man has lost so much that I just knew the gods would not take away his daughter.”

“I’m glad you were right, Emilia. Now come into the house so you can hear all. It is quite a story.” She took his arm, and he walked with her into the house.

“He poisoned you by using the clothing he gave you?” asked Lord Cadwin incredulously.

“And my mother’s crown,” said Eleri. “Efa thinks she can cleanse it.”

“He gave you the Cadwin crown, did he?” Lord Cadwin stopped pacing and stood in front of the fireplace close to Caerwyn.

Eleri nodded. “He made me wear it every day with the heavy, ornate gowns he gave me. I thought the weight of the fabric and my dread of being there made me feel exhausted and slightly ill. It turns out he was trying to break me down so I would agree to be truly his.”

“I was afraid he wished to mark you. At least you made it out before it could go that far,” said Lord Cadwin.

Eleri looked away as Conri took her hand. Caerwyn kept an angry growl from escaping his throat.

“What is it?” asked Lord Cadwin. “What happened. I can tell something did.”

“Perhaps this would be a conversation better done in private,” suggested Efa.

“Tell me now,” said Lord Cadwin. “I have lived in dread for my daughter for weeks, and I can’t take much more.”

“Eleri, you can tell your father in private if you wish. We can have everyone leave the room, but you do not need to feel shame. This was not your fault,” said Efa.

“She is right,’ said Conri.

“I am not ashamed. I just do not wish to cause you pain, father. Before I tell you, I want you to know that I am well and not affected now.”

“What did he do to you, Eleri,” demanded Lord Cadwin.

“He marked me just before I was rescued. I didn’t want it, and I didn’t agree to it. It did not stop him. He said he would take what he wanted just like everything else in his life.”

Emilia put her hand to her mouth as Lord Havens grabbed Lady Havens’s hand. Grace cried out and grabbed ahold of Efa. Lord Cadwin stepped forward with such a vicious growl, Caerwyn thought he might shift for a moment.

“He forcibly marked you?” Caerwyn had seen Lord Cadwin angry, but not like this. “He actually did it?”

Eleri nodded, and Conri put his arm around her.

“Ewan, you must try to remain calm. It is horrible, but we will put it on the list of other things that horrible man has done,” said Efa as she stood up.

“How do you feel, Eleri?” asked Lord Cadwin. “I know it must affect you.”

“It did,” admitted Eleri. “I passed out for a while after my power took out the guards, and when I came to, I felt like I could not leave the palace grounds. Conri needed me to open a gate a the back of Argenta House, but I could not do it. I hated the feeling of wanting to stay with Lord Fellen, but I could not shake it away.”

“Did you find a way to knock the gate down, your highness?” asked Emilia.

“I did not. There was no way. The gate was very strong,” said Conri.

“I asked him to leave me there and save himself. I felt tainted and wrong. He would not leave me, so I could think of only one solution.”

Emilia looked up at Caerwyn with wide eyes. He stared at her for a moment before watching Eleri and Lord Cadwin. Lord Cadwin first looked at his daughter in confusion before his gaze went to the prince.

“Yes, my lord. I have marked your daughter, but I did it with her permission. Perhaps it was not the way I wish it would happen, but I would not take it back for anything. I love her, as I have told you since we met. I know I will never love another, and I understand the responsibility I have towards her.”

Eleri stood up. “Truly, father, I did ask him. I begged him. As Conri said, it was not ideal, but I knew I would not regret it if he did it, not for myself. I remember everything from before my injury. I know I love him. I believe I love him in the way you loved mother.”

Lord Cadwin looked away for a moment, and Eleri took his hand. He looked back at her and patted her hand. “It is alright, Eleri. I just need a moment. Will you excuse me?” He fled the room as Eleri watched him go with tears in her eyes.

Efa immediately went to her niece. “Give him a moment, Eleri. It is just a lot for him to take in. He has been worried about you for so long, and to hear what has happened to the person he loves most in the world must be overwhelming.”

Eleri took a deep breath as Conri stood up. “Why don’t you go to your room for a while, Eleri. You can put on some of your own clothes, and we can sit by the fire. I can read to you, or we can just be quiet for a while.”

“Yes, I need to rest,” said Eleri. She looked around the room. “I am happy to see all of you.”

Aella walked to Eleri. “Perhaps I could help you change? You will not have to wait for a servant that way.”

Eleri nodded. “Thank you, Aella. I would appreciate it.”

“I will give you a moment, Eleri,” said Conri.

She touched his arm before she walked from the room with support from Aella.

“My poor girl,” cried Grace as soon as Eleri had left the room. “How could the goddess let her suffer so?”

“She will be alright, Grace,” said Efa, trying to console her. “All of us will help her through it, and she has Conri. She will be back to her full strength in no time.”

Efa and Grace continued to speak as Conri talked with the Havens. Emilia stood up and went to Caerwyn. “I know you must be experiencing so many emotions, Cawerwyn, and you look exhausted. Perhaps you should go rest in your room.”

He glanced around the room. “Would you walk with me first? I could use your company for a moment.”

She agreed with a slight grin. They quickly put on their cloaks and stepped out onto the lawn of Cadwin Manor. The silent walked together towards the side tree line, Caerwyn kicking up snow now and then.

“Would it help to talk about it?” asked Emilia as they settled by a tree.

“I don’t see how. It is what it is and how I knew it would always be. She will be tied to Prince Conri permanently, and I shall have to serve them both.”

“Perhaps you could give up the position after all. Maybe the goddess would appoint someone else, or it could remain vacant for a while. You don’t have to do it, Caerwyn, not if it is too painful.”

He turned slightly and looked out into the forest. “It would be more painful to leave them both. I am tied to them in some way. I have a bond with the prince that is not easy to throw off. I have loved Eleri too long and too deeply just to stop.”

“Perhaps it will become easier in time. It is new now and unexpected. You thought you had longer to become accustomed to it.” She stopped and seemed to gather herself. “Maybe you thought you still had a chance with Eleri. If you had carried her out of that palace instead of the prince, you could have marked her.”

Caerwyn closed his eyes for a moment. He had the same thought over and over the past two nights. Would Eleri have asked him to mark her if he had been with her? What choice would she have but have him do it or stay there?

“Even if she did, it would not have been right. She would have regrated it, and I would have grown bitter knowing I caused her pain until I found the strength to give her up. I chose my path long ago when I pushed her away over and over. Seeing her with the prince, I know now that she was never free to love me because I wouldn’t let her completely. She always had to hold back and shield herself. With Conri, she can love as deeply as she can without fear. I have never seen her so joyful as I do now, even with the way things are.”

“I’m so sorry, Caerwyn,” Emilia softly said.

“There is no reason to be sorry. She is happy and well-loved, and I have to live with my mistakes. It is how it is meant to be.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier.”

He took her hand. “It doesn’t, and it does. I can truly let the idea of us go, knowing she is much better off. I will never stop loving her, but I can rest a little easier knowing what my place in her life must be.”

Emilia squeezed his hand and moved closer to him. “I hate to see you in pain. All your life, I believe you have lived in it, and it breaks my heart.”

He gave a short chuckle. “I think you understand what it is like more than most. Your life has not been easy.”

“And I know what it is like to watch the one I love completely love another.”

He looked down at her as his free hand came up to caress her cheek. He did not love her like he did Eleri, as it was impossible, but he did love her in a way. She was always so steady in his life, offering her comfort and support. He had done her wrong, and still, she was ready to help him.

He automatically leaned down, drawn to the strength and love she radiated. Their lips met as he pulled her into his arms. Their kiss was not tentative or searching. It was demanding as she ran her hands over his chest. His moved quickly up her sides, trying to touch all of her he could. Why had he resisted her for so long? She told him she wanted him and that she loved him. Who was he to deny it? Many would jump at the chance to accept such a gift from such a woman as her.

As his lips moved down to her neck, she whispered his name with such devotion it made his heart clench. It would be so easy to mark her there. He could let her do the same to him and be done with it. He wouldn’t have to be alone, and she would have protection.

It took much effort, but he pulled away with a groan as she stumbled sideways. “I’m sorry,” he said after he caught his breath. “I can’t, just not yet. I need time. I have to figure out if this is right for you and me.”

She adjusted her cloak and smoothed back her hair before she let out a long breath and looked at him. “Then I will give you time. There is nothing I would hold back from you, ever.”

He took her hand and kissed it, thinking either he was a fool or so broken he could not be fixed.