Their Bonds of Love

Holding on to the walls of the palace halls, she tried to hurry to the door at the end. Eleri’s legs felt too heavy and stiff to make much progress. She needed to hurry. She could hear him coming behind her. If she could just get out the door, she felt as if she would be safe. She wanted nothing more than to escape the Silver Palace and never see Lord Fellen again.

She heard him laugh behind her as he came closer and closer. “You can not leave me, Eleri,” he said as she tried to move forward. “You are mine. Nothing can change it.”

Her legs stopped responding to her, and she fell to her knees. She crawled along the floor, but the door never seemed to come any closer. The footsteps behind her got louder and louder. She was panicked. If he touched her, she would be bound to him, unable ever to leave. Desperately she pulled herself forward, but her gown was too heavy. She looked at one of her hands to find it covered in blood.

“Do not fight it,” said Lord Fellen just behind her. “You will only hurt yourself. I don’t want to see you in pain, my dear.”

She turned over to lie on her back as he leaned over her. She closed her eyes and turned her head, feeling like she should scream, but it was locked away in her throat. His cold hands clasped around her wrist, and she bolted upright as her eyes flew open.

Eleri couldn’t catch her breath as she looked around the unfamiliar dark room. She wasn’t in the palace, but she didn’t recognize her surroundings. The place didn’t smell familiar. She threw back the covers to stand up when an arm wrapped around her middle.

“Eleri, what is it?” asked Conri.

She immediately caught her breath after feeling his arm around her and hearing his voice. She sunk back down in the bed and grabbed onto him possessively. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. It was so soothing to feel his warmth. He was necessary to her, and without him, she felt like she would be lost.

“Eleri?” he asked again desperately.

“It was just a bad dream,” she finally croaked out. “I forgot where I was when I woke up.” It had to be the truth because it could only be a dream, but it almost felt like a lie to say it. It felt so real.

He kissed her forehead as he held her. “You are safe. I promise you. I will never let anyone hurt you again.”

Even though she knew what he said was impossible, it comforted her. The thought that he would protect her filled her with a strange combination of peace and desire. He kissed her cheek, and she turned her head and caught his lips. She audibly sighed as he responded. Rolling over, she moved over him as he deepened their kiss and his arms went around her. Her hands cupped his face as she kissed him over and over. It was the most intoxicating thing to taste his lips. The feel of his arm around her felt more right than anything in her life. She was his, completely his, and she didn’t want it any other way.

He pulled back and gently rolled her over. “You need to rest, my love.”

She groaned, not liking even the small distance between them. “I think I might need you more.”

He laughed slightly as his hand came up to caress her cheek. “There will be plenty of time for it later. You have been through so much, Eleri.”

She made a noise in protest before kissing him again. “You will not leave me, will you? I feel like I can’t be without you.”

He kissed the tip of her nose as he gently stroked the mark on her neck. “That is due to this, I think. I hear it can be very intense at first. In time the feeling will be more manageable.”

“Perhaps it would be more manageable if you wouldn’t keep pulling away.” She tried to pull herself closer, but a pain in her stomach made her hiss and fall back. It felt like the breath was knocked out of her as she gasped and turned away.

Conri rubbed her back. “Efa said you would feel the effects of what they did to you in the palace for a few days. You need to be careful until then.”

She concentrated on feeling Conri’s gentle touch as she worked to still her breath. His arm went around her as he kissed her cheek while pulling her close. “Go to sleep, Eleri. I will not leave you.”

“I love you, Conri,” she whispered as she closed her eyes.

She felt him kiss her cheek again as she started to drift off to sleep. “I love you more and more each day, Eleri.”

When she awoke again, the room was bathed in sunlight. She sat up and felt a moment of panic, finding herself alone in the bed. Her hand went to the mark on her neck that ached and felt like it was throbbing. She pressed on it slightly, feeling the heat coming off of it. It seemed so unreal all that had happened to her in such a short amount of time.

She shivered as she remembered the feeling of Lord Fellen marking her. It all seemed like some strange dream, but she knew it was very real. The torment of hating the man completely but also feeling dependent on him was more than she believed she could take. Perhaps it was her imagination, but she felt the spot on her neck slightly pulse as she touched it. It caused her head to ache, and she took her hand off her neck to message her temple.

After Lord Fellen left her, she couldn’t remember much. She knew she had fallen asleep and dreamed of Conri. Maybe it was her mind’s way of escaping the reality of what had happened, but the dreams were vivid and so real. When she awoke from them, she swore she could still feel his kiss on her lips and the warmth of his body. It sparked something within her, and her power flowed freely.

From that moment on, everything was a blur. She remembered hearing loud noises outside her door and feeling the presence of Conri. Her body moved forward to her door on its own without much thought from her. Once she made it to the hall, she first saw Conri and then her aunt, Aron, and Caerwyn. She could not let them be harmed. She knew she could save them. Her powers built inside of her as she thought of protecting those she loved. When she released her power, she wasn’t sure what it would do.

She knew she had killed many people. She knew Lord Fellen was somewhere in the group, but she could not work up the will to finish him. Her power pushed him back behind the fallen-in ceiling and walls. He could not get to her, but he was safe, which appeased the strange bond she felt with him. When she was done, she was exhausted. She knew she collapsed, and the next thing she remembered was feeling the cold wind hit her as Conri was carrying her.

He didn’t mean to hurt her, but the pressure of his touch against her dress and the jostling of his arms as he ran caused her so much pain, it was almost too much to bear. Beneath it all was this voice screaming in her head that she could not leave the palace grounds. She belonged to Lord Fellen, and she could not do without him. She tried to quiet the voice as she did not want the man, but the mark on her neck throbbed as the voice grew louder.

When Conri asked her to open the gate by Argenta House, she wanted to do it but knew it was impossible. She sighed as she moved her hand back to her neck. She didn’t want Conri to mark her that way. She believed he would do it one day, but it would not be as some remedy to make sure they could escape. She began to wonder if he even really wanted to do it.

It didn’t matter. Even if he was forced to, she belonged to him completely unless he took away his mark. He could reject her. It would cause her pain, but she would find a way to go on if it was what he wanted. Marks were strange things. There was a reason they were so sacred. They bounded together people in a way that wasn’t mean to be broken. They could be broken, but there would always be pain and some residual longing for the one left behind.

She shook away her fear and uncertainty and focused on what she knew. She needed Conri. She didn’t like being apart from him. Throwing off her covers, she sat up in bed slowly as her body screamed in protest. The pain in her ribs took her breath away and almost caused her to lie back down. She took a moment to steady herself as she found her breath and tried to will her head to stop spinning.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and was about to push off when the door opened. Conri and her aunt stared at her as she looked at them.

“Eleri, my love, what are you doing?” asked Conri as he hurried forward.

“I was coming to find you,” said Eleri, knowing she sounded silly. “I didn’t like being alone.”

“I wasn’t gone long. I went to find you something to eat and found Efa on her way here.”

Eleri looked over Conri to see her aunt carrying a small tray. She pulled her legs back in the bed and hung her head. “It sounds ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself from wanting to find you. I can’t stand being alone.”

“It is not silly,” said Efa as she walked over. “It is very common for someone just marked. It is an overwhelming feeling at first, but in time it will become more manageable.”

“Is it how you felt when you and Grace were first together?” asked Eleri.

Eleri believed her aunt blushed for a moment. “It was so long ago that it is hard to remember. Being magic users, we mark each other differently than shifters, but I know I did not leave Grace’s side for at least two months except for brief moments of necessity after we were bonded. Of course, we were both marked, so both of us felt a certain way for a time.”

Eleri looked at Conri, feeling somewhat ashamed of what she had asked him. Marking should only be done when both were ready for such a bond. She hung her head as tears came to her eyes.

Conri sat down next to her and took her hand. “What is it? Are you in pain?”

She shook her head as she wiped her eyes. “I’m just so sorry, Conri. You were forced to do something you weren’t ready for, and now I will be such a burden on you. I will try to control it, I promise.”

“Eleri,” said Conri breathlessly.

“You need to eat,” interjected Efa. “We don’t have much, but we had some bread and dried fruit with us. I made some tea as well. I believe Aron and Deri are going hunting this morning. I will see what I can find when I strengthen the wards around us the best I can.” She put the tray on a table next to the bed.

Conri handed her the cup of tea, and Eleri drank it as she tried to keep from crying.

“If you will excuse me for a second, Conri, I will check over Eleri while she eats. Perhaps I can hurry along the purging of the poison with a spell or two. I also can help Eleri dress. I found a simple dress either Lady Cecil or one of her daughters left here. I think it will work.”

Conri looked down at Eleri. “I can stay. I will go sit by the fireplace for a moment out of the way.”

“Go check on Caerwyn and Selven,” said Efa. “Caerwyn was beyond exhausted last night, and Selven may need your company this morning. I will come to get you when I am finished.”

“Eleri, will you be alright?” he asked.

She nodded. “Go do what is needed. You do not have to trouble yourself and spend every moment with me.”

“It is no trouble,” said Conri sounding a little hurt. “I would never leave your side if it were feasible.”

“Go on, Conri. Let me speak with my niece for a bit. She will feel better after eating and dressing in some clean clothes.”

“Please go, Conri,” whispered Eleri.

He kissed her hand and stood up. “If you need me, have Efa come get me directly. I will only go for a bit, and then I will spend the rest of the day with you.”

“I hope to come downstairs. I would like to see the others and thank them appropriately.”

Conri hesitated for a moment before walking to the door. He stared at Eleri before leaving.

“Eat some of the bread and fruit, Eleri,” said her aunt. “It will help you feel better.” She put her hands over Eleri and closed her eyes.

Eleri ate a bit of the bread and dried fruit, not really having much of an appetite. She sipped her tea as her aunt finally put her hands down. “You must have felt miserable these past few weeks. I am surprised you were able to walk at all.” Efa sat down on the bed.

“It was difficult. My mind felt cloudy much of the time, and my memories from my time in the palace are scattered. It’s hard to know what happened and what were nightmares.” Eleri took a shaky breath. “I am afraid of finding out which were real.”

“I know Lord Fellen did something awful to you in marking you but did he or anyone else.... violate you?” Her aunt’s voice was quiet and hesitant. It held none of its usual strength.

“It is hard to remember everything. I don’t think it went any further than a few kisses and touches,” said Eleri as a few tears leaked out of her eyes. “I don’t wish to dwell on them. I have never felt more wrong and filthy.”

“You have no reason to feel so. It is not your fault, dearest. You can say you know it, but I want you to remind yourself over and over. None of this was your fault.”

Eleri shook her head. “I did push them all too far at times. I tried not to speak out or cause trouble, but I could not help it. The things they would say and do were so that I could not stay silent.”

“Eleri, you will take no blame for what happened to you. You gave yourself up for Lady Farrow and all of us, really. You did what you had to do to survive in the palace, and now you are safe. I and everyone else who cares for you will see you through.” Efa shook her head. “I can’t imagine how your father must be worrying. We will have to leave as soon as possible.”

“I wish we could leave this moment,” cried Eleri. “Cadwin Manor and the grounds are so large that I can hide away. There are places I can go so no one can find me.”

Her aunt took her hand and looked at her for a moment. “I am so sorry, Eleri. I can’t believe that man marked you unwillingly. It is beyond cruel and perverse. I know it has caused conflicting emotions in you, but you have no reason for shame.”

“As bad as it felt to be marked by him, it has led to something even more awful.” She gripped her aunt’s hand. “It forced Conri to bind himself to me when he was not ready. I had to beg him, Aunt Efa. I know I sounded pathetic and so weak, but I didn’t know what else to do. I tried to get him to leave me there, but he wouldn’t do it. I feel as if I have ruined things between us now.”

“Ruined things? What a ridiculous thing to say, Eleri. If Conri hesitated to mark you, it was only because he worried what it would do to you. You say you have your memories back, correct?”

Eleri nodded. “I remember everything. It is what makes it harder. I love him, Aunt Efa.”

“And he loves you. If you truly have your memories back, you know he does. I believe his love for you has only grown. He watched you for weeks with Caerwyn after your injury and then worried himself sick while you were in the palace. He wanted every day to save you. We had to convince him over and over we needed a good plan first.”

Eleri looked down. “But it was not the right time. It was done only out of the necessity of escaping. How can I know it was what he truly wanted.”

“You could ask him,” said Efa with a smile.

“Will he tell me the truth?”

“I believe so, but you will have to listen to it and believe him. Eleri, do you regret him marking you for your own sake. Does it feel wrong?”

“No. It felt right and natural. Perhaps it was because I was in so much torment from Lord Fellen’s mark, but I believe it was more than that. I think I was always meant to be Conri’s. I thought that would make our love feel less genuine, but it does not.”

“I think if you ask Conri’s opinion on it, you will find his answer much the same. You must also remember you are still ill and weak. You cannot possibly be thinking clearly with what you have experienced. Let him be there for you and trust the love he has for you. If you push him away or hide, it will cause nothing but pain for you both.”

“I will try,” said Eleri.

“Good. Now, do you wish to dress and try the stairs? I know the others want to see you, and poor Selven needs something to cheer him up.”

“How did Selven Pirey become part of your group. I have only met the man a few times. I remember liking him, but he barely knows me.”

“It is a long story, Eleri,” said her aunt

“Will you tell me while you help me dress?”

Her aunt agreed. She spoke while helping Eleri to stand and put on the simple blue dress she found. Eleri was shocked to hear who Selven’s natural father was and how the poor man had been treated as he grew up by his own family.

“And he spoke to his father just to help save me?” asked Eleri.

“For the most part, I believe so, but I also think Selven needed to see his father. It was good for him to have some sort of reconciliation,” said Efa.

“But his father wouldn’t leave Argenta House with him?”

“He would not. He said he would not leave his post or put Selven in more danger. He gave Selven all the money he had saved and sent him on his way,” said Efa.

“But Lord Fellen will know that Dillion Pirey helped get you all into Argenta House.” She took her aunt’s arm. “He could already be dead.”

“Selven knows, and his father knew his fate. Dillion did not wish to burden Selven with his presence. He was also very proud of his position. It is all he has ever known.”

“I am not worth such a sacrifice,” Eleri said softly. “I am not worth all it took to save me. The way things are, it might have been better to let me stay where I was.”

“You must never say that, Eleri, or even think it. We all wanted to save you, even Selven. Aron is like your brother. Do you think he would abandon you? No matter what has happened between you and Caerwyn, he would never leave you to suffer. His love for you may not be perfect, but it is very real.

“Did you expect me just to accept you were gone? You are the last of my family and one of the most precious people in the world to me. And poor Conri. I am not sure what would have happened to the man had we not been able to save you. He needs you, Eleri, which is why you must not inadvertently punish him by continuing to question what he did. Let him hover near you like you want him to. Do not order him away. I know how much you long for his presence even now. Do not fight it.”

“I need to go downstairs and see everyone,” said Eleri. “I have to thank them all, though I know it will do little good. I could never say enough to express my gratitude.”

“Words never seem enough,” said Efa. “But you can show your appreciation by your actions. We still have to save Elathia, and I believe you will be a big part of it.”

Eleri nodded before she walked out of the room on her aunt’s arm. Though at the moment she did not feel worthy of all that had been done to save her, she vowed that she would do all she could to prove she was.