The Year They Burned the Books

“There’s nothing more we can do,” Tessa said softly to Jamie late Sunday afternoon; they were walking along Sloan’s Beach, watching the waves foam against the rocks. “Everything’s out of our hands. And, Jamie, remember, the school committee can’t shut down the Renegade, even if they can shut down the Telegraph. So either way, we still win, sort of.”

“Only sort of. Who wants to live in this town if Lisa Buel’s ideas win?”

“I do.” Tessa swung her arms wide. “I wanted to go back to Boston when I first moved here, but now I love the sea and the fresh air and the lobster boats and the marsh grass, and I love the friends I’ve found here—especially one. I’m proud to be your friend, Jamie Crawford, and I hope I’ll always be your friend.” She grinned. “Someday you’ll start a newspaper that’ll be known all over the country. And maybe you’ll let me be a staff photographer, and then we’ll write a book together—oh, wow, Jamie! Don’t we have an essay to do? We’ve forgotten all about that. It must be time for another!”

“You’re right,” Jamie said. “It is. An early-winter essay.”

“Late fall-early winter,” Tessa corrected. “It’s not officially winter yet.” She glanced around. “Right. Here’s a good place to start. Come on. There’s still just enough light. Let’s go get my camera. Race you to the car.”

“It’s gonna be a tense day, folks,” Terry said nervously Monday morning when he and Ernie met Jamie and Tessa outside school. “Announcement-of-our-fate day, assuming the school committee’s made up their minds. And a brand-new week facing our growing public as Wilson High’s two-and-only almost-as-good-as-out faggots. But we can take whatever comes, right, Ern?” He gave Ernie a mock-jock poke in the ribs.

Ernie dropped his voice an octave. “Yeah, man. You know it’s weird,” he went on in his normal voice, “but I’m not as scared as I used to be. It’s sort of a relief, you know? Not to have to pretend so much.”

“Yes,” Jamie said. “Poor Nomi, though. She said she realized afterward that what she said pretty much cleared up any doubts Brandon and Al or any other kids might have had about us …”

“Oh, come on!” Tessa exclaimed. “Excuse me, but what doubts, you know? Besides, you started the process yourself, in your speech.”

“That’s what I told her,” Jamie went on, “and Nomi said she knew that, but she still hoped we weren’t mad.”

“Mad?” said Terry, making his eyes round. “Moi?” He turned to Ernie. “Toi? Et toi?” he added, looking at Jamie.

Jamie laughed. “Non, monsieur, je ne suis pas … what’s mad? Anyway, I told her we weren’t, and she hugged me and I think it’s all okay. Still, I’m not sure I’m dying to run into Brandon and Al today. Or Karen or Sam, for that matter.”

“True.” As the first bell rang, Terry put his hand on the small of Ernie’s back and pushed him gently forward. “However. Squaring their shoulders,” he announced grandly, “the two brave faggots marched undaunted into the fray. Onward, comrade!”

“You okay?” Tessa asked when Terry and Ernie had left.

“Yeah, I think so.” Jamie looked after them. “And I sure hope Ernie really is, too.”

The second bell rang, and Tessa grimaced. “Here we go!” She gave Jamie’s shoulder a quick pat. “If the two brave faggots can march undaunted into the fray, I guess the brave—um, lesbian—and her straight best friend can, too. Ready?”

“Ready. But do you think I could skip opening my locker? I know it’s been okay since Brandon and company came back, but after that meeting …”

“No, you can’t skip it. Might as well get it over with.”

But Jamie’s locker was fine, as was Tessa’s, which Jamie suddenly worried about, and the worst that Brandon and his friends did, besides stare and make inaudible comments, was to surreptitiously give Jamie and Tessa the finger whenever they passed them in the halls. Tessa sailed regally by as if she didn’t notice, and Jamie told herself she was doing the same.

The atmosphere all morning was strained, as if everyone in the building was on hold, waiting for the school committee’s decision. Terry cracked his knuckles in every class Jamie had with him, and Ernie seemed tense again when Terry brought him to the newspaper table at lunch.

“How’s it been?” Jamie asked, moving her chair to accommodate him and smiling at Nomi, who waved at her from where she was sitting with Clark. “Still okay?” Nomi mouthed, and Jamie mouthed back, “Yes, fine.”

“It’s been no worse than last week,” Terry answered. “Mostly stares.”

“Someone said, ‘When’s the wedding?’” Ernie told them, “and a couple of kids flapped their wrists at us.”

“Pretty standard stuff.” Terry made his voice lower as Ernie had earlier. “Like I said, we can take it.”

“You are all so brave,” Cindy said—and then the PA system crackled. Jamie crossed her fingers as the room fell unnaturally silent, except for Jack’s whispered “Here we go, folks. I hope.”

Terry sat down again, and Nomi, with Clark at their table nearby, shot Jamie an anxious look.

The PA system crackled once more, and Mr. Bartholomew’s voice echoed through the room: “Students and faculty, your attention, please. I’ve now heard from Mr. Just, who, as you know, is chairman of the school committee. The committee’s decision is as follows:

“The health education course is canceled for the remainder of this year, as is condom distribution. A new special committee will be appointed to rewrite the curriculum at all levels and choose new textbooks, both to be in place for next year if the new school committee approves of them after the March election, and another new committee, including the school nurse, will gather data on the experiences other schools have had with condom distribution.

“The school libraries will not shelve any books that deal in any way, pro or con, with homosexuality. Any books on that subject found in the school libraries will be donated to the public library, where, the head librarian tells me, they will be available, although possibly on restricted shelves. That decision, which is up to the public library staff and trustees, has not yet been made.

“The school newspaper is canceled for the rest of this school year, but will be reinstituted, with an adviser to be appointed by the new school committee, next fall.

“I know that some of these decisions will be hard for many of you to swallow. But for the moment, they must stand. The school committee asked me to say that they based their decisions on the votes recorded at the meeting last week, and it’s obvious that’s true, although two of those votes were almost ties. Now, please go to your classes, in which, I’m sure, many of you will want to discuss what you’ve heard.”

Jamie was hardly aware that Tessa’s hand was resting on hers or that Ernie was shaking his head. Cindy was tearing her napkin into shreds, and Terry was pounding his fist into his hand; Jack’s mouth was wide-open in obvious disbelief, and Nomi, looking stricken, had stood up and was moving toward them. The words No paper—no paper—no paper thundered in Jamie’s mind.