The Woman in the Windowsill

~~~

I meet up with Jessica at 5pm outside of the book store. She’s still gorgeous, just like back in school. She sports shoulder length jet black hair, a change from the the long her I remembered her having. The years have been good to her, she only has a few wrinkles but they accent her natural beauty, which rivals even Camila’s. I greet her with a tight hug and she reciprocates.

“You look clean cut”, she compliments. “Not the same stoner guy that used to follow my cousin around”.

“Hey”, I laugh. “I wasn’t a total burnout, was I”.

She gives off a slick subtle smile as I open the door for her. We make our way into the bookstore and begin to look for an area to browse. As I turn the corner around a shelf the tip of my shoe catches the floor and I trip. I’m able to avoid falling down but I grow red as nervousness sets in. I turn around to see Jessica let out a sound as she attempts to hold in a laugh.

“It’s okay to laugh, you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”. She is still trying to hold in her laugh. She looks cute as she tries her best to be a polite date. I begin to browse around a shelf and she joins me. We begin to discuss our favorite authors. After a while we aren’t even talking about books or even really browsing. We just pretend to look at various books as our conversations drift elsewhere. One of the secrets my old man taught me was to let the lady talk as much as she wants. They love it and it gives you less to worry about.

She tells me all about her job as a nurse. She makes it clear that she loves to help people, and that being a nurse allows her to fulfill her goal. I ask her about her sisters which I got to know to an extent back in high school as well. Jessica asks if I’m still very close to David. I inform her that he’s now my roommate. We continue the small talk until the movie starts. Neither of us grab a book to buy. We just continue to chat. The conversation isn’t forced at all, the words flow freely. She’s easy to talk to, and I have a genuine interest in what she tell me. I try my best not to exclusively draw my attention to her body in order not to offend her. She catches me a few times but doesn’t seem to mind. Sparks fly as an hour passes in an instant. We realize we’re late to the movie as we hustle down the street to the movie theater.

By the time we get there we’ve missed the first fifteen minutes, but neither of us mind. We giggle at the annoyed grunts and sighs of fellow movie goers as we climb through them to our seats. At one point in the movie Jessica grabs my arm during a jump scare. Her hands are comforting. It’s a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time, and I reciprocate by putting my arm around her. I turn to look at her as she watches the screen intensely. I already notice that her attention is easily grabbed just like David. They are both certainly related.

After the movie she invites me over to her condo. I hesitate, but ultimately accept. The night is going great and I don’t want it to be over just yet. Her condo is nice. There’s not a lot of decoration, but it’s very clean and the tan walls look elegant. She’s done very well for a nurse.

I take a seat on her sofa and she returns with a bottle of red wine. A few more hours go by and it’s already past midnight. Before we know it we’re at the bottom of the bottle. She sulkily stares into my eyes and I can’t resist but return the gaze. The more we drink the more heavy the conversations become. We start by talking about how we’ve both lost our parents. Naturally this leads to the both of us sharing our ‘what if’ questions we all harbor to some extent.

“I’m sorry about Camila”, she consoles. “I can’t imagine what you must have went through”.

I nod. I deter the subject.

“Why on Earth are you single Jessica?”

“Just haven’t found the right guy, I guess. Same as any other girl”.

“I find it hard to believe.”

Jessica shrugs and takes a sip of her wine. “My mother used to tell me that we’re all destined for someone. She always told me that it’s written in the stars. We might find someone perfect, and it seems like we’re destined to be with them. But if the timing isn’t right, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“Written in the stars?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and begins to feel foolish.

“I like the sound of it. Your mother told you that?”

“Yeah. I came home crying over Justin Miller, remember him?”

“I do. He was kind of an asshole wasn’t he?”

“Not to me. In fact he was perfect. We dated in high school and he left to the navy. It was his only shot at a real career. He left me before he went off to basic. I always thought we’d be able to push through and make it work. I guess not.” Jessica takes another sip of her wine, almost finished. “ I told Mom about the whole situation. She said Justin really and I probably were perfect for each other. But the timing just wasn’t right. We weren’t written in the stars for each other.”

I nod. “I take it this has something to do with me?”

“In a way. I know this is just our first time out together, but I really like you. I always have, since we were teens. I guess now we have a shot.”

“We do.” We’re both quite drunk. We wouldn’t be touching on these subjects during the first date if we weren’t. I know where she’s going with the conversation next.

“I just want you to know, that I think love is a really complicated and abstract concept. I know you’re worried about replacing Camila. I only met her once years back, but I know she was a hell of a girl. She was perfect for you wasn’t she?”

“She was”. I analyze my glass of wine. I switch it from hand to hand, and swirl the wine in the glass.

“She was perfect for you, for your time. I want you to know that I’m not trying to replace her. I understand you’ll always love her. But the timing just wasn’t right.”

“I can see what you’re saying.” I smile at her. She really knows how to make this easier.

Jessica inches her way closer to me, and she brings her lips to mine. It’s not long before we’re all over each other. That night we had each other.

I wake up with my arm over Jessica. For the first time in months I wake up with a smile. I look over at Jessica and revel at the beauty with whom I shared myself with last night. Instead of forcing myself up, I lay my head back down and I can smell her hair. There’s no rush at all.

The guilt tries to crawl its way into my thoughts. I can feel it trying to get into my head, to ruin the moment. But I don’t let it. I tell myself there’s nothing to be guilty about. Camila would be happy for me. That’s what I continued to tell myself as I lay latched onto Jessica next to me.

For a second I wonder if Jessica always seduces her dates on the first night into sleeping with her. But when we talked to each other, it didn’t seem that way. She and I just simply had amazing chemistry. In a way you can just sense if a woman is easy, and Jessica seemed anything but. It was easier for us to get intimate as well since we’ve known each other for so long. It puts my mind at rest. I can finally tell myself that the first steps in moving on from Camila are finally coming to fruition. There’s going to be a long way to go, but I’m on the right track.

Before long, despite it being the late morning, I fall back asleep once again.

~~~

A few hours later I wake up to the smell of pancakes. For a second I forget where I am. I turn to the other side of the bed and see it empty. Reluctantly, I crawl out of the warm bed and begin to put my clothes on. It has occured to me that this was the best night’s sleep I’ve gotten in months. Dreamless, empty sleep from the moment I laid my head onto the pillow.

The surroundings begin to feel accustomed to me once again. I stroll through Jessica’s condo until I arrive in her dining room and I find my pancakes stacked onto a plate. Jessica is still making her own in the kitchen and I decide to go in to surprise her. She’s in a comfortable looking robe and I put my hands onto her hips.

She turns around startled but smiles when she sees mine. I press my lips against hers. My kiss lets her know that last night wasn’t simply a drunken mistake, but rather the beginning of something special.

“I made breakfast”, she says, her eyes glued to mine.

“I see that! Looks great! It’s too bad I don’t eat pancakes”

“Oh”. Her smile disappears. “I’m sorry I’m sure I have something else in the pantreet.” She begins to scurry by me but I catch her with my left arm and bring her close to me. Her hair is frizzled from last night and she definitely doesn’t appear to be a morning person. She’s still gorgeous though.

“I’m only kidding. Who in their right mind doesn’t like pancakes?”

“That’s what I thought. I was starting to wonder what kind of freak I brought home with me last night!”

We both laugh and she sits me down to my breakfast before giving me yet another kiss. She makes her way back with her pancakes and sits across from me.

“How’d you sleep?” she asks.

“Fantastic, actually.”

She begins to dig into her pancakes and I watch the slight struggle with amusement. She catches me watching her and she begins to act more chalant when eating. I had almost forgotten the fun little things in a new romance. While we eat she makes fun of my slight snoring, with which I jokingly reply she’s making things up. We continue to banter and I continue to scrutinize her eating habits much to our mutual amusement.

After a while we finish, and I let her know that I need to get back. She walks me to the door and we share one last kiss before I make my way back to my Honda. The smile on my face doesn’t diminish until I’m already almost home.