: Chapter 19
Fear, anger, pain, and panic course through me like poison, and I feel desperate to get through to her, to get her to stop pushing this away.
“Baby, don’t fucking do this.” I can’t think of anything else to say, my mind having gone completely blank from pure, unfiltered anxiety.
My cock is still out, my chest bare, and my pants under my ass, but I don’t fucking care. I can’t handle her pushing this away again, and I don’t know why. I don’t know what the fuck is going on – all I know is that I want her. I need her.
“This isn’t okay,” she says, her voice cracking. “I shouldn’t have let this happen. That was my responsibility, and I’m sorry. You need to go.”
My chest burns, and she shifts from foot to foot like she’s uncomfortable. “Tell me what I need to do. You want me to transfer schools? I’ll do it. You want me to fucking drop out, I will.”
She shakes her head. “Hayden, no.”
“Then what!” I yell, grabbing her hair tighter. “Penelope, I can’t let this go. You make me feel something for the first time in my fucking life.”
She shakes her head again. “You’re young. You don’t know what you’re feeling.”
“Oh, fuck you,” I snap. “You don’t get to sit there and tell me I’m fucking young. I’ve been an adult since I was twelve years old. I’m probably more grown than you are. Maybe I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling, but I know it’s real.”
Her eyes glisten with unshed tears as she looks up at me, but there’s anger behind her gaze. “You don’t know anything about me. Not really.”
I drop the hold I have on her hair and point my finger at her. “And you don’t know shit about me either, Penelope Leyton, so don’t act like you do.”
“What do you want me to say?!” she yells, a tear escaping her eye and trailing down her flushed cheek. “That it’s okay for me to date my student? I can’t.”
“I expect you to say that it’s worth the risk.”
I don’t know why I say it, I don’t know why I’m fighting so hard for this, but I know I have to. I can’t just walk out of here and let go of the feelings barreling through me right now. I can’t forget about the fact she’s lit something inside of me that’s been dull and lifeless for the last eighteen years.
Now that I’ve had a taste of this, I never want to stop. She’ll be my newest addiction, the drug to replace all other drugs, the thing that keeps me upright and standing.
I can fucking feel it.
“Hayden–” she starts, shaking her head.
“Shut up,” I say, grabbing her by the hair again. “Just shut up.”
I slam my lips to hers, silencing her when she tries to speak, and she moans. The bag of food she has in her arms falls to the floor, and she grabs my forearms as she kisses me back.
I pull back, speaking against the skin of her lips. “I’m fighting for you, so fight for me, too.”
She’s silent, her eyes pressed closed as she breathes through her mouth onto my lips. My heart thrums in my chest as I wait, the blood rushing through my ears like white noise.
It’s as if time stands still as the suspense circles around us, filling the room like a living, breathing thing.
“Baby,” I plead, my voice hurting as it climbs its way up my throat. I want to claw at my skin in protest of my own words, my own feelings – because, why? Half of me screams I’m losing my mind, when the other half is telling me I’m finding my way home.
“We can’t tell anyone,” she finally whispers, making the air whoosh from my lungs in relief. When she opens her eyes to peer up into mine, I press my nose against hers, my chest shaking as I breathe.
“No one, Hayden,” she says, her voice steady now with conviction.
I shake my head, agreeing with her, my pulse slowing almost immediately. “No one.”
Her fingernails dig into the skin of my forearms when I press my lips to hers again, turning my chest to burning fire and need – and then I can’t be stopped. I slide my hands under her bare ass and lift her, her legs wrapping around my waist as my cock fills with blood again.
As I carry her through the apartment, she rips her sweatshirt over her head and throws it to the ground. I kick her bedroom door open in a hurry, and when I’ve thrown her down on the center of her plush bed, I push my pants and boxers the rest of the way down, stepping out of them.
Climbing onto the bed between her legs, I keep my gaze on hers and reach down to circle my cock with my hand, pressing the tip to her entrance.
“Go slow,” she breathes, her mouth dropping open. “I want to feel every inch of you.”
My spine burns, the need to push inside of her the entire way making my head hazy with anticipation, but I do as she asks, falling on top of her so my chest presses against hers and I can lick across her lips. “Yes, ma’am.”
She moans as I slide into her an inch, the head of my cock engulfed in her, the pressure in my balls making me moan along with her.
Looking between us, she watches as my dick disappears another inch inside of her, moaning between her pressed lips at the sight.
“Jesus,” I groan, my resolve slipping and making me thrust another inch inside of her tight channel.
“Fuck,” she gasps, spreading her legs to accommodate my hips between them. I kiss around her jaw, her skin turning damp with sweat from holding on to control.
I groan when I pull out and push back in, letting my cock sit halfway inside of her.
“Hayden – more.” I lift my head to watch her face as I push inside her another inch.
When her eyes drop closed in pleasure, she kisses me, running her hands around my sides, down my back, and to the globes of my ass. She grabs my flesh, pushing me into her as she thrusts upwards, making my dick slip deep into her until I’m fully seated, my balls hitting her skin.
“Oh, God,” she moans, digging her nails into my ass as the muscles of her cunt squeeze around me.
Moaning with her, I kiss around her jaw and down to her neck and chest, speaking against her skin. “So fucking perfect.”
She rolls her hips against mine. “Fuck me.”
Pleasure thrums through me like its own heartbeat, and as I sit up, I run my hands around her sides to feel her heated skin. She meets my gaze once I’m up on my knees between her legs, fireworks sparking in her eyes, then I thrust hard and fast.