The Unwanted Luna

-POV

Ayame-

Bliss is one word for it. A place where I felt like the pain would stop. What I'd caused and what was inflicted on me. Gone. Absolute bliss. I wanted to let go. I wanted to be free. "Why?!" I shot up as my eyes opened, revealing the same place I'd visited in my dreams and my Luna

Ceremony. "What are you doing here?!" My grandmother called out to me worriedly.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I didn't know what to say. I could go to my default methods and tell her what she wanted to hear and cry for a short time while the demons still lingered. Like I do with my triplets, but something tells me that won't work here...on her.... "I don't know. I just wanted everything to be quiet. I couldn't take it anymore and Donna is -" She raised her hand and walked up to me, sitting her lean body on the soil in front of me.

"Ayame Cassandra Sylvie Radavier. What are you doing here?" She asked again sternly.

I opened my mouth and again and the tears fell. Just like they had when I ran away and decided I couldn't hold it in anymore. I couldn't smile anymore. "I can't do this anymore! I don't want to do this anymore!" I whined, seeming more and more like a toddler that didn't want to take her nap. Maybe this is why I still hide things from them. I'm still worried about seeming weak.

She sighed and held out her hands to me. "Grab on." She ordered sternly.

I furrowed my brow, but followed her instructions. I gasped as my mind was flooded with the memories I've had throughout my time here. However, contrary to what I had held onto so tightly before, these memories were the ones that mattered. When I finally had a breakthrough with Vil. When the triplets and I told each other we loved each other. When I met Emily, and we became the best of friends. When Charlie finally found his second chance mate. When I stood up to Malerie and Adolpha. When I was accepted as the Luna of the Tri-shifter Pack. When my pack accepted and protected me without question, even before my ascension to my role.

I looked up at my grandmother and she smiled down at me. "Your mind's buried in some dark places, my beautiful flower. I cannot watch you hiding away anymore. Your life may have been a turbulent one, but there is always something to live for and you, my sweet grandbaby, have much to live for."

I stared at her and shook my head. "What? At the expense of others? I cannot allow any more pain to happen. Emily was shot because of me. Edon was attacked by rogues because of me, my father was brought to an inch of death because of me, my uncle lost his sister because of me, Tanya had to live with Richard because of me. I...I am a curse. That's my penance."

She stared at me for a moment and chuckled lightly. I furrowed my brow in shock at her response. "That is not your penance child. You already gave up your sacrifice when your bear spirit was taken away from you. The sorrow you feel and the guilt in your soul is from your experiences and your unwillingness to let them go. You have to let them go."

I heaved and continued to cry. "I can't!" I shrieked. "It's because of me. It's all because of me."

My grandmother gently pulled her hands away from me and sighed. "Okay. If you think that is the case, then there is nothing more I can do for you, but remind you of this...." She raised her hand and I saw Vil pressing his hands into someone's chest while he screamed out to the heavens.

"Wake up! Please don't leave me!" He shouted. "Come on, breathe angel!" Vil was trying to revive me? He's more of the grunt and grumble type. I'm surprised he even came after me.

His hair was dripping wet and his eyes were bright orange. He was fighting his wolf, but also fighting for the life I didn't want anymore. I mean...I think I don't want anymore? "She's...no...." Edon skidded next to him and relieved Vil as he started to resuscitate the girl I knew was me. "Come on, princess." He whimpered.

I turned away and forced myself to look elsewhere. I can't. I won't. It hurts too much. "Remember what I told you. Life isn't easy! Fight for it! If life gives you pain, love harder. Fight harder. Hold on to those who are there for you. Don't abandon them!" She shouted again. "They need you, Ayame. You are not to be here with the dead when you have so much life to live. Now go live it!" She shouted before I lurched forward and tilted my head to cough out the lake water. As I desperately tried to breathe again.

"Ayame!" Not a moment after I caught my breath, I was buried under two men.

"Why did you jump?! Why didn't you let us just kill the pain for you?!" Vil shouted. "Sh*t! Angel, you are going to be the death of me!"

Edon laughed but it was short, hoarse and painful to listen to. He went to relieve Vil right after he skidded in from running through the forest. Neither of them took a break. "I'm so sorry, princess. We messed up. We didn't do our job." He whispered in my ear.

I shoved them away and tucked my legs up to my chest. "No! Don't do that! It's on me. I was the one who wanted it to stop! It's not your fault!"

They raised their hands in defeat. "Okay, it's not our fault." Edon said hurriedly.

"It was a bad panic attack, wasn't it?" I turned a bit and Conri was walking into the clearing with my dad behind him. Dad ran up and buried me in a bear hug. I didn't pull him off and he growled towards the triplets. I noticed that Vil had a red mark on his cheek and I wiggled under my dad's embrace. I'm sure he had something to do with that injury.

"Y-Yes." I answered Conri's initial question because he wasn't wrong. I don't think it has ever been this bad, but this time, it consumed me.

"And it got that way because?" Conri pressed, earning another growl from my father.

"Stop questioning her like she's some kind of criminal! She almost died you asshole!" My dad shouted.

I sighed and tapped his forearm. "Dad, stop. He is one hundred percent allowed to respond this way. It got this bad because instead of running to my mates, I ran towards the pain. I forced my mind to stay in the negatives and the pain got away from me. Seeing Emily worry, reliving my past, the fear that Donna might actually injure someone or, even worse, kill someone this time.... I can't. I'm not....I'm not like you all. I can't just pretend all this pain didn't or won't happen."

"No one is asking you to. I can't promise you won't see her again as we are about to go to war with her, but we will do our best to make sure you are out of situations you cannot handle on your own. I'm sorry that the conversation in the kitchen overstimulated you. It's been a very stressful few days, little one." Few days?! More like months.

I got up and ran up to him. He easily picked me up and I snuggled into his neck while he held onto me tightly. I could have sworn I felt tears coming from him this time. "It has. I want it to stop. I can't do it anymore. Please don't make me do it anymore." I whispered softly. He tightened his grip and kissed my shoulder, then his mark, and finally my cheek. "I won't. I promise. Please don't ever do something like this again. Please, little one, don't leave us." He whispered back to my shock and surprise as his arms shook. I could feel his worry radiating. My little stunt terrified the three of them.

The rustle of the pebbles crunched behind us and Edon rested his head on my back while Vil petted my arm. "I won't. I promise. Just please...make it stop." I begged.

"We will, princess. We all will. All that has wronged you will end by the fall equinox." Edon growled.

"And that's a promise." The three of them growled together and at that moment, I thanked my grandmother and her tough love because I got to experience this.

I get to experience my mates finally making it stop. Permanently.

-POV Donna-

It's almost time. The troops I have gathered are primed and waiting. The malice grew in my spirit more and more as I adapted to the life of a rogue. It was much more of an adventure than I thought. The best part you ask? Finally getting back at the family that threw me away. The lands that withdrew from me. The sons who disowned me.

My initial plans may have fallen through, but I will not allow this to go on. I will fight and I will win! I stared at the dungeons while I waited for just the right time to strike, focusing on the task ahead. I'm still shocked no one saw us coming in. It seemed like the guards were beyond frantic. Oh well. It seemed like it had something to do with that scream we heard earlier. Better luck for me then.

I slipped around the back and nodded to one of the guards I had brought with me in particular. She nodded and a subtle mist consumed the air as she took down the soldiers with ease. We ran into the repugnant building in search for the person I would not leave without. "Mother?" Malerie whimpered groggily once I finally made it to her cell.

Oh my goddess. I cannot believe those three have her in here and on the third floor no less! I gasped and held back my tears while I nodded to the bars. "Take it down." I ordered. The grunts from my other two soldiers acknowledging me was a good enough response for me. They knocked the door off its hinges and grabbed my daughter. We turned to run out with her and I stopped at Adolpha and Sawyer's cells. They were asleep just like all the others and, to be honest with you....this is what they deserve.

One is a traitor and the other is weak! I will not tolerate weakness. I don't have the time. "Shall we get the others, Luna?" One of my soldiers asked, noticing my hesitation. If you could call it that.

I turned to them and smiled darkly. "No, leave them. They are not worth saving." We raced out of the dungeons and into the shadows of the setting sun. Almost there.

It's almost time.