The Unwanted Luna

It has been a couple of days since Xavier carried me to my room, and I have refused to come out of it since then.

The wood that had been used to bar my window and balcony door have been removed thankfully so at least I get a bit of vitamin D.

After he carried me to my room, I only remember him laying me down on the bed just before I went back to sleep and when I woke up he wasn't there not that I was expecting him to be or anything like that.

I was actually surprised that he willingly came anywhere near me let alone carry me to my room, the same person whom he hates with his entire being.

My feelings towards him have changed, I can say that I no longer look at him with rose colored glasses.

Is it possible to want someone and hate them at the same time? Because that's what I feel nowadays I love him and hate him with the same measure especially at night because when night time arrives only pain awaits me. I honestly don't know if he is doing it on purpose or that he honestly doesn't know what is happening to me.

I want to believe that maybe just maybe he doesn't know since the doctor hasn't told him but a part of me doesn't believe it, because how can he be ignorant of such a huge thing? how can he not know what he is doing to me?

Knowing him he is probably doing it as a way to punish me, to exact his revenge because according to his own words, I prevented him from being with the woman he truly loves.

I can feel our bond begin to rot inside me. It's killing me slowly and he doesn't really care. Since he is the one who rejected our bond, I am the one who is left bearing the consequences of his selfishness.

When a bond rots in someone, there are usually two outcomes, either the wolf dies or they become the forsaken, feral wolves who have completely surrendered to their animal nature. In simple terms, they abandon their humanity and become ferocious killers. They were given the name forsaken because it was believed that they had been forsaken first by their mates and then by the moon goddess.

I for one don't want to become a feral wolf so the only other choice left for me is death.

I don't want to die but what other choice do I have? the only way to solve it is if Xavier accepts me and the bond even though it's now tarnished.

Build it back up again till it becomes healthy but we all know that Xavier will never accept me and like he keeps telling me he can't wait to get rid of me.

Maybe this is all an elaborate plan to end me without really soiling their hands, you know, plan, kill Amelia with a rotten bond. I don't know what the future holds for me but I am afraid of leaving my baby boy.

I don't want him growing up without me but at the same time I don't want him having a feral werewolf as a mother either.

My future is so unsure but I would pick death over being feral.

I leave my room planning to go to the forest because I honestly need the fresh air. I have been cooped up in my room for too long, so long that I feel myself losing my mind.

My plan is simple: get out, wander a little, then come back, as sleuth as a ninja.

But my plans are foiled when I find Bianca in the backyard. As much as I am angry at her, I won't attack her.

The last thing I need is to have Xavier killing me off before I have the chance to give birth to my baby.

Remembering his warning I try to slowly back away without her noticing, if its fresh air I want I could always get it later, but again my plans are ruined when she turns and our eyes connect and just like I remember on the day she left and the day she was kissing Xavier, they bare nothing but pure hatred.

"Well, well, well.. you finally came out of hiding" she sneers at me, but I just keep quiet, what is there to say anyway.

"You know for years I have dreamt of how I would get revenge on you for killing my parents, but who knew that the moon goddess would smile down on me and that I would fall in love with your mate and he in turn would fall for me, fates really works in mysterious ways because nothing I have ever imagined would have been as satisfying as this, watching you broken and rejected by the one person made to truly love you"

Her words slice me but I refuse to give her the satisfaction of seeing me bleed.

"They were my parents too Bianca and I loved them as much as you and I didn't kill them, I never even dreamed of it"

"You could have fooled, how do you mercilessly kill the one you love? What is it that they did to you? Except love you unconditionally and then you turned around and betrayed that love. I truly feel sorry for your child, to be cursed with you as its mother... but no worries, Xavier will take him or her from you and we will be its parents, they will never know who you are or that you even existed. We will be one big happy family without" her words break me and the image they form in my mind torture me.

"One day you and Xavier will pay for what you have done and I only hope that I will be alive to see it, you will feel a hundred times the pain I am feeling now and you'll regret what you are doing because the guilt and sorrow will eat you up and when you find your mate and fall helplessly in love with him, I hope he rejects you and the bond so that its starts rotting from within, killing you slowly" I say my peace then immediately leave her there, dumbfounded and shocked.

It doesn't take long till I am deep within the forest but the peace I was hoping to find is none existent.

I feel unsettled and fearful. I can feel eyes on me even though there is no one around. I want to chock it up to paranoia but I can't not after what happened in my room on the day before I ended up in the hospital.

I feel so afraid, like something is hunting me, stalking me and the feeling intensifies the deeper I go into the forest.

I should be safe here within pack borders but I don't feel safe at all. Something rushes in front of me but it is too fast for me to see it clearly.

I turn around but it zips right past me again.

I know it is not a wolf because it is much bigger, it is like an adult size. I am honestly petrified because I am pregnant and very much weak, I don't think that I am strong enough to fight something that moves at dizzying speed.

Plus apart from my weakened state I also do not know how to fight, the right to be taught how to fight was taken from me when I was stripped of my position.

The thing remains in the shadows zipping past me in circular motion, almost as if it is toying with me, playing with me.

"Who are you? What do you want?" I ask but I get no response.

Within seconds, a second one joins it and for a moment they slow down a bit enabling me to see them just for a tiny moment before they are back to their speeding.

They seem a little bit familiar but I just can't place the familiarity. I am bothered because anytime I try to move forward they zip past almost as if they are blocking my path.

As if they don't want to let me leave and that terrifies me because I can sense that something is wrong since my adrenaline is high up and my fight and flight mode is in overdrive.

I feel the presence of something sinister in the air and I know if I don't move something bad is going to happen.

Even if I am fed up with my life, I have a baby to think of and I am not going to allow his chances of coming to the world to be destroyed.

They disappear and for a moment I am left wondering why they left suddenly, I don't have time to dwell on it because just then a pair of red glowing eyes appear in front of me and urgently whispered just one word. "Run!"