The Unwanted Luna

It is actually funny the amount of times I have lost consciousness only to wake up in my room.

This time when I wake up I actually feel like laughing at my pathetic situation. It is nearly impossible not to snort at myself.

I do remember everything that happened but I can't figure out why I did everything I did in the first place.

I sit upright on my bed only to wince at how sore I felt, my entire body ached and I wanted to have a bath but I just felt too weak to make that trip to the bathroom, so I just sat there and stared into space instead. I have a lot to figure out because nothing in my life right now is making any sense and I hate that a lot.

Everything seems to be out of control and uncertain.

Part of me feels like I don't even have a future with the way things are going.

How do I even begin to make sense of what is happening? Let us first start with the voices, then there are the two ghosts from my past, the shadowy form with red eyes and also the creatures.

Aside from that, there is the matter of my claws and fangs showing and let us not forget the roar I let out.

For someone who has never shown any signs of shifting they are sure starting to show out of nowhere which only makes me puzzled.

There is also the issue with the bond and what the moon goddess told me.

Nothing at all makes sense and the more I try to figure it out the more it just confuses me, which concludes the fact that I need help figuring it out, but who to trust is the big question.

I don't have to think for long because my door opens and Sophie walks in with a try.

"Good, you are awake, I thought I would have to fight to get you to wake up like yesterday." She says with a smile.

See what I told you, it seems like she is the only one that cares.

"Thanks Sophie" I tell her in all honesty then take the porridge from her.

I frankly don't even feel hungry and I don't have an appetite but I force myself to chug it down for the sake of my baby.

I need him to be healthy and even if I don't survive at the end of it all, I want him to survive, he has a life to live and I will do everything to make sure he comes to this world.

"Anytime babe, how are you feeling? I know last night was hectic" she asks.

I am not feeling that well but I already know the cause of it, I just have to figure out what to do about it.

"I am fine, good I guess, all things considered"

I do not elaborate on her question concerning how I was doing because let us be honest here, I was not okay physically, mentally nor emotionally and I didn't even know how to explain that in the first place. She looks at me for a long time considering my answer.

"What truly happened yesterday Lia?" she asks using my nickname.

I can see the concern on her face but I have no words to reassure her.

"Honestly? I don't know... I was just sleeping and then next, I was in pain, then from there I can only remember bits and pieces. It was like I was myself and at the same time, not...I can't explain it really" "Are you really sure you don't know what happened? Lia, your eyes were black, like the whole thing, there were no whites"

it is almost as if she couldn't even believe what she was actually telling me.

"You must be wrong" I say shakily.

That has never been heard before, and I guess that explains why someone had mentioned my eyes, but I had just thought that maybe they had probably seen my wolf shining through, but not this.

"I am not wrong, I know what I saw, that reminds me, I thought you were wolf less, when did you get your wolf?"

"I don't have a wolf Soph, you know that, I have never even shifted" she just looks at me skeptically which I completely understand.

"Bullshit! That's not what I saw yesterday, your damn fangs and claws were out and I clearly heard you roar, so don't you dare play me for a fool"

She was getting frustrated and I do understand why, if I was in her position I wouldn't have believed me.

I let out a sigh because I knew there was only one way to do this, I had to tell her, it is a risk but I had to trust that my instincts were correct.

"I honestly don't know where to even begin, everything is just a mess" I tell her.

"It is all right, just start from the beginning"

I let out another sigh and then do exactly what she told me. So I started from the beginning, from the very first moment when Ace took me and marked me.

By the time I am done she is dumbfounded but can you honestly blame her? I probably sound bat shit crazy which to a certain degree I am.

"Okay so let's get this straight, the creatures that killed your parents are back and seem to be after you? And you are hearing voices and seeing red eyes that you probably think are somehow helping you?" I know she is finding it hard to believe but there is nothing I can do. "Yes to all of them"

"What about the bruises? I have seen them Lia"

"They are called the marks of betrayal. They appear when your mate sleeps with another after mating which basically betrays the bond"

"So in short anytime Xavier sleeps with your sister, you get these along with a double dose of pain with it" she says it more like a statement than a question.

I can see pity in her eyes but I don't want it, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, it irks when they do.

"Yes, that is the short version"

I cringe just remembering the pain and knowing that it will probably be awaiting me at night today.

"I know you don't like people feeling sorry for you but I am sorry, you of all people don't deserve this, now the question is, what do we do now. From what you have told me, it seems you are in danger and so is your baby and I don't know who we can consult on this because I don't think there has ever been such a case" she tells me at one go.

"That is what I am trying to figure out. Plus I don't think I have much time given that I am only three months away from giving birth and also there is the issue with the bond, it is either I die, or go feral and from the looks of it, I am already starting to lose it, so either way, my option seems only limited to death" I tell her sadly.

"Because it is either those creatures kill me or I end up dying from the mate bond" I finish telling her and stand up.

I start pacing my room because honestly what can I do? Neither of the two are favorable to me because in both I end up dead and I don't get to see my son grow up.

"Don't worry we will figure it out, we always have...so even this time won't be any different" she squeezes my hand.

I had not even realized that she had stood up, I go to tell how I am thankful and happy I am here because it honestly feels good to talk to someone and release the pent up stress and frustration, but I am interrupted by the door opening. Standing on the other side is the last person I want to talk to, without even realizing it I release a growl, only when it is out of my mouth does it hit me.

Soph and I look at each other, as if we are both asking the same question, how in hell did I growl.

Xavier clears his throat making us turn to look at him. Of course like usual his face is cold and I can clearly see irritation and annoyance there.

"Would you please excuse us Sophie?"

His voice is hard but it is not like I expected any affection. Sophie gives my hand a squeeze and then leaves me alone with him.

"What do you want?" there was no need to beat around the bushes.

"If you are here to insult me or threaten me because of yesterday, then you can just leave instead of wasting your breath, I have already heard it all before" I sneer

would you look at that I actually had balls after all or maybe I am just tired of putting up with him.

"I am not here for that" he grits out.

"No? Then what is it? Have you come to check if I am finally dead yet? Or maybe you're here to admire the artwork that is now gracing my body thanks to you...ooh I know, you are here to tell me of your undying love for my sister"

I can't really keep the sarcasm at bay, but then again I don't want to.

"Well go on then, I am dying to hear all about it"

I take a seat on the sofa as if this is a conversation I have been waiting for.

I know it will hurt once he starts talking about her but I need to get it over with and get over it.

"Why didn't you tell me what was happening to you" he heaves a sigh as if he is tired, join the club alpha.

"You have to be specific alpha Xavier, a lot of things have been happening to me"

I reply innocently.

"You know damn well exactly what I'm talking about and don't call me that "

I can literally feel him grinding his teeth.

"And when was I to tell you? When you were busy fucking my sister? Or when you were in your office? Ooh I forgot, you avoid me as if I am a plague and you have made it clear that I should stay the fuck away from you, so tell me when should I have?" "You were trying to claw your heart out Amelia, the doctor said it was a way of trying to remove the bond that was rotting, if it wasn't for him I would not even know what was happening or what has been happening, you should have fucking told me!" he shouts. I actually laugh at what he just said at the same time surprised that I clawed my own chest.

"Why would I tell you? It's not as if you would care...in fact I am sure you would have thrown a celebratory party once I was pronounced dead, so don't come to me with that bullshit, because we both know you would rather see me rotting in hell." I finish. It hurts to say it but we both know it's the truth, he has no care for me.

He doesn't say a word, just stares at me for a while with an unreadable expression before he turns around and storms out of my room banging the door on the way out.

I collapse in a heap on the floor with tears running down my face, trying so hard to hold on to hope that everything will one day work out and I would finally be happy.