The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

~CARTER~

f*****g hell. That’s what it felt like without seeing or hearing from Scarlett. At first, I didn’t want to do what she begged me to do. I wanted to keep fighting. I wanted to tell her that I f*****g needed her more than I ever needed another woman in my life.

But the reality of my life made me realize that it was for the best. Because I cared for Scarlett, I wanted to do what would be best for her. I wanted her to be safe from me. I wanted her never to find out about my secret.

It was better for things to end now than end the way my brother’s marriage did. His marriage still wasn’t entirely over, they were still in the middle of getting a divorce, but it was a f*****g messy one.

She never tried contacting me, not even once. Since the academy was closed for a little while, I didn’t even have the opportunity to see her. Instead, I remained completely miserable at home with not one s**t to do.

I didn’t want to play any game; I didn’t want to go out and f**k around. I was stuck to my bed like a teenage girl who’d just gotten her heart ripped into tiny pieces by a complete a*****e.

I did have the opportunity to see her in pictures at Autumn and Atticus’s wedding. They weren’t exactly my friends, more like enemies. We hardly got along with the Fawns, but Scarlett seemed to like them. The only Fawn I could tolerate was Griffin; everyone else was a pain in my a*s.

She looked breathtaking in those pictures and not at all bothered that we weren’t seeing each other anymore. In fact, I seemed like the one having the most pain.

My room door flew open suddenly, and my brother was standing a few feet away from my bed.

“Are you never leaving this room?” Alaric asks me.

I sigh, “That’s the plan.”

He takes a deep breath, “Come on Carter. I hate seeing you like this. Let’s play some game, anything at all, to ease the pain.”

I frown, “how do you know I’m in pain?”

He chuckles, “Your face mirrors my own. I know how to hide it better than you.”

“Ha.” I fake laugh. “You’re better at hiding it than I am? In what universe is that true, brother?”

He smiles, “I’m not the one locked up in my room with no intention of doing anything to fix his situation. I’m still fighting back. What are you doing?”

I clench my jaw, “why don’t you leave me the f**k alone?”

“Because you’re my brother.” He answers me. “I have to be your support when you feel like you have no one else. That’s my job as the eldest.”

I try not to get emotional at his words, but I finally force myself to get up.

He wraps one arm around me and squeezes my shoulder. “You did the right thing. You were once with Clara, and you broke her beautiful heart; if you continued to sneak around with Scarlett, it would have destroyed their sister bond. Besides, marriage truly isn’t for us. I know I said differently in the past, but I would hate to see the same thing that happened to me happen to you as well.”

A part of me still wanted to believe that there would be a chance for Scarlett and me. A part of me didn’t want to give up on us.

“You know Carter,” he continues. “I think you’re in love.”

I freeze at his words.

I-in love?

That’s impossible. I couldn’t be in love. I’ve never been in love. I’m incapable of loving anyone.

“That’s not possible.”

He nods, “I think it is. I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall in love with someone when I couldn’t have a mate, but somehow, I fell hard for Nicole. I’ve never seen you react this way to another woman in the past. I see love and pain in your eyes.”

I shook my head, “You’re wrong, brother. I care deeply for Scarlett, but I do not love her. I would do f*****g anything for her happiness, but that doesn’t mean that I’m in love with her, and that’s the truth.”

He sighs, “You know your feelings better than I do; you don’t need to get defensive. I was pointing out what I think I saw in you.”

I nod, “I understand, but don’t say that again. I can’t love. Loving is impossible for someone like me. I don’t deserve love. This curse, it’s the f*****g worst. Someone with a curse like this doesn’t deserve to be loved. I don’t ever want to destroy an innocent girl’s life. I don’t ever want to fall in love, and I don’t want anyone to fall in love with me. No one deserves to have a man like me. No one.”

Scarlett could do much better than me. She deserved so much more.

I close my eyes to hide the pain.

One day, she would find someone good for her. One day, she would belong to someone else. One day, Scarlett would find her mate and forget all about me.