The Shadow Alpha

I tossed in bed for the hundredth time.

Where is Devin?

What was Oliver trying to say?

Why would he do that?

My mind fired question after question like a broken record and all because I couldn't find an answer to either of them. I groaned out loud as the same unanswered questions replayed themselves in my head, the crisp white of my ceiling made me feel like a mess, the mass of beddings that had gotten tangled hours ago suffocated me. With a frustrated huff I stood up off the bed, threw on the purple hoodie that was strewn across my desk and slipped on a pair of Vans before marching out the door. Shadow was hanging at the back of my mind; she was too upset about the day's events.

“Shadow, do you think I should talk to him?’ I asked helplessly, not really knowing how to handle the situation

“Not this time sweetheart, this time it's up to him to find us." I sighed exasperatedly, he probably didn't even care.

I made my way towards the north border, my favourite place to think. As I walked through the forest I thought back to all the times we spent together; the years we played together as children, the nights we spent savouring grilled cheese sandwiches and hot chocolate.

“Where did I go wrong?’ I asked Shadow weakly. I couldn't stop the feeling from bubbling within me; it was a distantly familiar emotion.

A question akin to that which I asked when I lost my parents twelve years ago.

I detested the fact that he could make me feel that way regardless of how hard I worked to bury that hatch after leaving his pack.

My self-deprecating thoughts came to halt as I arrived at the clearing, I hadn't realised just how fast I was walking till now.

I strode to the bench that stood beneath the huge tree in the centre of the clearing, the moon was high in the sky and stars littered the vast open space. The breeze was slightly chillier since it was early November, but still relatively warm considering we were in California.

Looking down at the bench I suddenly had the urge to lay on the grassy plane and feel the prickle of the blades beneath my bare feet, so without further ado I kicked off my shoes and sunk them into the cold green carpet before lowering myself into a horizontal position.

I gazed up at the fairy lights that the girls and I hung up here when I first fell in love with the setting and like the soft glow of the lights comforted me, the cool night air calmed my raging thoughts and before I knew it, I fell into a peaceful slumber.

It was hot and extremely bright, two very uncomfortable feelings to wake up to. As I peeled my eyes open I was suddenly blinded by the harsh light of the sun that radiates down on me from its place high in the sky. My momentary confusion was lifted as I recalled last night's events, my lack of sleep and sudden impromptu journey to the clearing.

I eyed the pair of Vans that lay at the foot of the bench and then my toes that involuntarily wiggled when I looked at them, the action made me giggle.

“I've got cute toes though, don't I Shadow?’ her delight was evident as she hummed in agreement to my childish antics

Unexpectedly a fiery red bird landed on my hand that was splayed across my stomach, it stared at me for a moment before chirping loudly. Along with the gleeful song that escaped the little creature's beak, the vibrant colour of its silky feathers and its unwavering gaze, a delightful beam settled on my lips.

“Red. I'll call you, Red.”

That's when a thought struck me; so many things in life are temporary, happiness doesn't have to be one of them and if you cannot make yourself happy then no one can do it for you.

With one final note my feathered friend took to the skies, leaving behind only the delightful feeling within me and a memory that would be imprinted in my mind forever.

I stayed in the same position for a few moments longer basking in the sunlight and the mere simplicity of the moment. All the way down here on God's green earth I felt free, I felt in control, but most of all, I felt hope bubbling inside of me.

Long before I reached the edge of the forest I could hear the wonderful sound of the children playing in the yard, I figured that they were playing tag as the high pitched voices giggled screaming, “You're it!” every few seconds.

With a mischievous grin on my face I broke through the greenery and grabbed the two kids closest to me, their high pitched squeals were mixed with my, “You're it.” they giggled happily when they realised that it was only me, before I knew it I was surrounded by the entire group of pups and engulfed in an enormous group hug.

We all laughed merrily as I lost my balance taking many of them down with me, the look on my face was one of surprise and it only served to amuse them further. It felt unfair that they got to laugh at me when they were the ones who caused me to fall in the first place, an evil smile crept onto my face just as the idea struck me. With that thought in mind I grabbed the two closest to me and proceeded to tickle them breathless.

By the end of my assault everyone was exhausted lying on the ground catching our breaths from laughing so hard.

The beaming smile remained in place even as a shadow settled above me, Devin stared down at me with a scowl so intense my eyes went wide in sheepish amusement. Before I knew it he yanked me off the ground onto my feet, much to my annoyance.

The feeling didn't last long though as my gaze fell on the bright red Audi that I loved so much and now reminded me of my feathered friend, Red.

My thoughts were abruptly cut short by the array of glowers I was receiving from my friends and family. Some stood with their arms crossed, others just stared in annoyance. Overall I had not a cooking clue as to why everyone was so pissed off.

The idea of food caused my stomach to grumble loudly and a silly laugh erupted from me.

“The monster needs food.” I patted my stomach and walked towards the door of the pack house with a spring in my step not bothering to entertain anyone's negativity at this point.

I thoughtfully stroked my non-existent beard as I gazed into the fridge, unable to decide whether I wanted to have leftovers or indulge in a greasy gourmet breakfast. The latter made my mouth water and just like that my mind was made up, I settled on some eggs, sausages, toast and fried onion rings. Just as I placed the ingredients on the counter, the flock from outside gathered in the kitchen and proceeded to stare at me as if I'd grown another head.

Feeling no need to speak I hummed the tune that I learnt just this morning. There was shuffling amongst the crowd that had caught my attention, my head snapped in their direction and was met with two identical hopeful looks, I chuckled out loud and proceeded to dish out two extra helpings for the ever hungry boys. Both rushed forward and kissed me on the cheek, accepting the plates which they would soon inhale.

"Help yourselves.” I started airily and settled at the breakfast bar beside Connor and Bradley.

"Woah guys! Go easy, we wouldn't want the eggs to hatch inside you.” I teased; they both choked and stared at me wide eyed as if it could really happen.

“Idiots, she’s just kidding.” Taylor dead panned as she strode leisurely into the kitchen. Non- committedly grabbing an apple and biting into it without a care in the world, her attitude was a breath of fresh air in the still tense atmosphere; it puzzled me how they managed to stay silent all this while.

"So Tay, why aren't you a part of the glare committee?” she scoffed as if asking her was stupid. "What the actual hell Allison?!” Devin finally snapped and once again I eyed him with amusement, the funniest part about his attitude was how he actually thought he had the right to be angry at me. “How can I help you Devin?” I pushed my plate away and folded my arms on the counter with an expectant smile.

“You can quit this bullshit and tell us where the hell you were!” the vein in his forehead was pulsing, a tell-a-tale sign that he was angry.

“That's what this was all about?” I chuckled disbelievingly, turning to face Connor and Bradley who nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, you disappeared. We looked everywhere for you, not to mention your mental wall was up so we couldn't link you either.” Bradley shrugged.

“Not everywhere.” I muttered, just as a protest arose I cut them off, “You're such a bunch of mother hens, it's cute.” I felt touched that they were worried about me. Some faces contorted in disgust while others remained steadfast in their glaring. “Seriously though, you all should stop worrying so much. It's bad for your health. I can take care of myself, or have you forgotten who 1 am?” I boasted with a smirk.

I grinned triumphantly as their shoulders sagged knowing they wouldn't get through to me. Only Devin seemed to get even more vexed by my reply, not that I cared much for how he felt at this point, not after the way he acted.

“You're not invincible Allison, get that in your head!” he shouted, taking us all aback.

"You know Devin; you're quite audacious for a guy who didn’t seem to care much just yesterday.” My calm, but curious tone must have irked him to the point that he didn't know how to react because suddenly he was silent, his eyes wide in astonishment.

He raised his voice expecting me to do the same or at least be angry at him for his behaviour so that in turn he had a reason to be angry at me for not letting them know my whereabouts.

Not today honey

“Allison... Just tell us where you were.” Hunter sighed in frustration and my gaze softened. I moved closer to him and placed a hand over his cheek sending him an honest smile.

“I really was okay brother, I couldn't sleep so took a walk to the clearing last night and ended up falling asleep there.” At the mention of where I was his head turned down in shame.

“Now will you all stop wrecking my brains? Any longer and I'll be bleeding from all the daggers your eyes were throwing at me.” I emphasized in mock horror and was rewarded with multiple eye rolls and chuckles.

“Is the plan coming together?” I asked after a moment of silence, the once calm air turned edgy the moment the words escaped my lips. My gaze turned to Devin who was still staring at me with slight anger in his eyes, but regardless of his personal feelings he nodded curtly.

"Good. I'll see to it that the information reaches the right people.” I affirmed and stepped out of the kitchen. The happiness I felt earlier, dimmed by the dread of responsibility.

My loved ones were counting on me; my pack was counting on me, the whole werewolf race was counting on me, but most of all, Mother Selene was counting on me and I could not fail her.

Taking a step into the elevator I was nudged further in by my one and only “mate’. My sadness from yesterday had morphed into annoyance since then, despite my nonchalant behaviour I was hurt and that hurt was portrayed as bitterness.

The ride up to my room was filled with a tense silence that neither of us bothered to break. Without looking back I walked into my room, leaving the door open behind me knowing he was a few steps from barging in anyway. I busied myself with pulling clothes from my closet; I didn't feel that his behaviour warranted my attention so I gave him none, much to his chagrin.

"Are you just going to stand there and pretend that I'm not here?” he questioned annoyed.

“I have nothing to say to you.” I declared honestly. He muttered something under his breath about difficult women, which ticked me off.

"Oh! So women are difficult?” I spun around, pinning him under my fierce glare. “I'm the villain in the situation suddenly?” I stepped closer, his eyes widened at my action.

"Have you forgotten Devin?” he leaned back slightly as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Have you forgotten how you were the one who gave me the cold shoulder in front of everyone? How you flat out ignored me and continued to flirt with all those girls at dinner? Have you forgotten how all you've been doing the past few days is pushing me away? I tried to give you space, I trusted you to come back to me when you were ready.” I scoffed deprecatingly and backed away without looking at him, instead I stared at the picture of my pack on the wall.

"Yet here you are, pretending to care, getting angry at me for whatever reason. Here you are playing the victim.” I uttered with a mix of disbelief and anger.

It used to be so simple. We all stood with bright beaming smiles staring at the camera, without a care in the world, we were happy and in that moment nothing else mattered. The picture was taken the day of my Alpha ceremony where I was announced and the title handed over to me. If you asked me that day where I saw myself in two years, there's no way in hell I would have guessed this. I realised in that moment that happiness was only temporary, and the worst part of it was that the people who steal the shine from your eyes and the happiness from your heart are the very people you trust not to, the people closest to you.

The people you love.