The Sentinel of Cassendar: Resquarian

Galen leaned on the wall at the edge of the banquet room in the Aurorial palace. It was their last night in Siccaria, and Lord Quain had planned a special supper to honor the Lanoxans before they left tomorrow morning. The event so far had been fine in Galen’s opinion. Lord Quain spoke well, pledging support for the Lanoxan and king and especially the queen. The food was very good, and as Galen had been seated by his brother and another Elite, the company had been adequate.

His eyes did go continually to the head table were Princess Lexine sat between her mother and King Leal. She looked at him a great deal as well, even smiling at him on occasion. He wished he could push aside all his doubts and be with her as he had before. He did love her. He knew he would love her more than any woman he could ever meet. It should be enough, but he felt like it might not be.

There was a huge chasm between them. One that Lexine had told him could easily be bridged by their love. It was a nice image, but Galen feared it wasn’t realistic. He could take the kings offer after the war and it would help fill the void between them. It would make it where he could live in her world and give her all the things she deserved, but would it truly make him happy and fulfilled? He knew he would be happy with Lexine, but would he ever feel truly worthy of his position? Would he enjoy living as a lord and giving advice to the king?

“Why are you over here by yourself, Elite?” asked the High Captain as she walked up to Galen.

“Just taking a moment to myself,” said Galen as he stood up straight. “Do you need something, High Captain?”

“Just a minute or two of peace,” said the High Captain as she moved to stand against the wall by Galen. “If you don’t mind me interrupting your solitude.”

“Of course not,” said Galen. He looked at the High Captain to notice that she did look tired and a little pale. He thought she had seemed off the past few days. “Are you well? Has your leg been bothering you?”

“No, not much. It aches in the morning, and when it stays in one position for too long, but it is not very troublesome. I have been a little tired, lately. I am not sure I am sleeping well at night,” said the High Captain.

“I hope it has nothing to do with that book,” said Galen as he turned to her. “I am sorry I had you try to sense anything from it again.”

“I am sure it is not the book, Galen, not completely. There has been much on my mind, including the battles that lay ahead of us.”

“You are worried about fighting the Navalian forces?” asked Galen.

“Yes, I am worried. They will be numerous, and we still don’t know what powers Lady Belleth might have. I do believe we will win in the end, but I worry of who we will lose. I worry for those I love,” said the High Captain.

Galen could see her eyes looked as though tears were gathering in them. He was not used to seeing her so discomposed. “We all knos the risks we are undertaking. What lies ahead will not be easy, but I know it will be worth it. We must protect our kingdom, and defeat the Navalians. How can any kingdom in the land be safe if we don’t?”

“You are right,” said the High Captain as she wiped at her eyes with her fingers. “I just wish it didn’t have to come to this. I think I might be tired of fighting, Galen. I know my duty and my purpose, but the thought of what I have seen and done as an Elite and then the High Captain is starting to weigh on me.”

“I believe you have always done what is right. I know no one with more honor than you,” said Galen with concern.

“I have tried to do what I believe is good and right, but it does not take away the many men I have killed, or the things I have seen on the battlefield. It does not take away the memory of killing the Navalian king in front of his children,” said Dracia as she closed her eyes. “Maybe I am a weak woman after all.”

“You are not weak in any way,” said Galen. “You are human. Anyone with any sense of decency would feel the strain of what you have seen and had to do. I believe you will continue to do what you have to do for your kingdom, even if that is something different than you are used to.”

She nodded and wiped at her eyes again. “What of you, Galen? Will you keep on your current path and serve the Sentinel after this war?”

Galen sighed. “That is a question I have been trying to answer, myself,” said Galen. “It does feel right being an Elite, but that doesn’t mean something else I could do wouldn’t be just as fulfilling.”

“Especially if you have the right person by your side,” said the High Captain. “Galen, I would like to give you a little advice from someone who has long been through the trials of love. You can ignore if you wish. It might just be the ramblings of an emotional woman, but I would like you to hear it all the same.”

Galen nodded.

“What we do with our lives, and how we serve our kingdom and gods is important. You should want to feel fulfilled in your duties, but much of that purpose fades away if it causes you to push the one person you love above everyone and everything away. If you have found someone that makes you want to live your true purpose, then maybe a life with her is your true purpose.”

“What of her purpose?” asked Galen. “What if my love for her causes her to lose who she truly is.”

“Who can decide that except for her?” asked the High Captain. “I believe she has given you her answer in many different ways. Perhaps you need to listen more carefully.”

The High Captain gave him a smile before she walked off to join the king who was talking with Lord Ethen and his wife. He watched as she put her hand on King Leal’s arm and leaned up to kiss his cheek. It seemed as if the king stopped midsentence and looked down at his queen with a look that showed he was very much in love with his wife.

Galen looked around the room trying to find Lexine. He spotted her on the other side, standing with his own brother and Lady Selene as she took a drink from her wine glass. She smiled at something Roderick said, and Galen couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Never had he seen anyone so lovely. Nothing had ever given him such happiness as spending time in Lexine’s presence.

Galen thought over what the High Captain had said. He imagined himself as an Elite of the Sentinel, maybe even High Captain someday. He would serve with pride, learning more and more about himself, developing his skills. It would not be a horrible life. It would be a life of purpose and meaning. It would also be a lonely life. One where he would be forced to hear of the princess marrying another. One were he would be forced to guard her and her growing family. He was afraid it would be one of regret.

He imagined himself taking the king up on his offer and becoming a lord. He would sit on the council and offer his advice. He would spend time with the queen as they came up with ways to secure Lanoxan. He would be able to see his friends in the Sentinel when he visited with the queen. Above all he would have Lexine to fill his days with laughter, and his nights with passion. They would hopefully have children someday. A son he could pass on his lordship to. A daughter who he would see could be anything she wanted.

When he looked at his life in this new light, was there even a question? As an Elite he might have duty, but what of love? He would have comradery with his fellow Elites, but he would not have the lightness and joy he had found in Lexine. With her, he would have purpose, duty, and above all someone who made it all worth it. It was so clear now as he stared at her. The only life worth truly living was one spent with her.

He started walking towards her before he realized it. It was as if no one else existed. The room might of well have been empty to Galen. All that matter in that time and place was her, and that she understand he would choose her over everything else. It didn’t matter to him what gulf divided them. He would find a way a over it. She was right, their love was enough to bridge the divide.

Suddenly, he was in front of her, standing next to his brother. He looked at her, and she looked at him.

“Galen, are you well?” asked Roderick.

“No, I have not been well for a while,” said Galen as she stared at Lexine. “But it is my own fault, and I know how to make it right.”

Lexine smiled at him. “I would not let you take the compete blame, Galen. I think I have had a hand in it.”

“You have done your part to repair things, but I have ignored what you have been trying to tell me like some simpleton. I know what I want, Lexine.”

“Then perhaps you, and I should take a walk so you can tell me, Galen,” said Lexine as she moved closer to him.

Galen looked over to ask his brother and Lady Selene to excuse them, but he realized they had already moved away somewhere else in the room. He nodded at Lexine and offered her his arm, and together they left the banquet hall. He took her down the hallway to a set of double doors he knew lead to the west courtyard. They stepped out into the cold night to find it was starting to snow.

“I didn’t realize it was so cold out here,” said Galen. “We can go back in if you wish.”

“I actually find myself a bit overheated from the crowd at the moment. I do not mind the cold, if you don’t,” said Lexine.

“I do not mind it at all. I hardly seem to notice it,” said Galen as he took her hand and led her closer to the wall so they would be somewhat sheltered from the snow.

“So, you are ready to tell me what you want?” asked Lexine.

“I am. I don’t know why it has taken me so long. I hope I am not too late,” said Galen.

“I believe I told you I would wait for you forever. I was not just saying words, Galen. I meant it,” said Lexine as she gripped his hand.

“I realized that I was focusing on the wrong thing. It isn’t about how I serve my kingdom, but who I am with as I do my duties. There are a hundred things I could do to find some purpose in the kingdom, but only one person who would truly make any of them worthwhile,” said Galen. He pulled her close to him and looked down at her. “When I envision my future life, you are the only thing that makes it worthwhile. You and the future we will share are what will truly give me purpose. The Sentinel, a lordship, Mystics, they all fade away when I look at you. I want to do whatever it takes to just be with you.”

“You could do anything you wanted, and I would follow you, Galen,” said Lexine.

“I know, but I want what is best for both of us. I want to be able to be with you, and give you and our children a future that is all that it can be. When this war is over, and Lanoxan is safe, I will accept the king’s offer and join his council. We can live in the palace or find our own place, whatever you want.”

“Galen, are you sure?” asked Lexine. “You do not have to do this for me.”

“I’m not doing it just for you. I am doing it for us,” said Galen.

“And you will be happy?” asked Lexine.

Galen smiled down at her. “Yes, I will be very happy. It is the only way I will find any true happiness and peace.”

He leaned down and kissed her as she put her arms around his neck, and he wrapped her in his embrace. He knew in that moment, he had made the right decision. There would be no second guessing, not as long as he could have her with him like this, forever.

The next morning, Galen stood outside the palace gates close to his horse as the large group gathered together to ride towards the summer palace in Lanoxan. It would take several days with such a large group, but they would ride hard with as few of breaks as they could to get there in good time.

Galen found himself feeling very cheerful despite the difficulties that lay ahead. As he looked over at Princess Lexine as she talked with Lady Maia, he found himself very hopeful for the future. He smiled as Lexine gave Lady Maia’s hand a squeeze before she turned and looked at Galen.

“You seem in a very good mood, brother,” said Roderick as he came to walk up next to Galen.

“I am feeling very well this morning,” said Galen as he turned to look to see Roderick smiling at him.

“I take it you have found your way with the princess,” said Roderick.

“I have found that the princess is my way. I believe everything else will fall into place,” said Galen.

“I admire your confidence, and envy it as well,” said Roderick as he looked to Lady Maia’s side where Lady Selene stood next to her sister.

“You haven’t made any progress there yet?” asked Galen.

“I wouldn’t say I haven’t made progress, Galen, but I need time. I am not in the same position as you. I do not have your skills or intelligence to be useful to the kingdom in a lofty position,” said Roderick.

“That is rubbish, and you know it,” said Galen as he turned and adjusted his horse’s bridle. “There are plenty of things you could do for the kingdom besides be an Elite if you wanted to. I believe you are quite essential to our queen, and I am sure she and the king would see you in a place that would make it very easy for you to eventually take a bride.”

“You make it sound rather easy,” said Roderick with a smile.

“It is easy when you are sure of your feelings. Are you sure of your feelings, Roderick?” asked Galen.

“I believe I am very close to it,” said Roderick.

“Then I think eventually you will come to same conclusion I did,” said Galen.

“I hope I am not interrupting any serious conversations,” said King Leal as he walked up to Roderick and Galen.

“No, of course, not, your majesty,” said Roderick as Galen turned to face the king.

“We are about ready to be off, and the Siccarian nobles would like to wish both of you well,” said King Leal. “I have been sent by the queen to find you.”

“You are again being used as a messenger, your majesty?” asked Roderick with a smile.

“You know my queen may use me however she wants,” said King Leal with a smile as Roderick laughed, and Galen couldn’t help but chuckle as he felt his cheeks go a little warm.

Galen followed the king to the High Nobles. Lord Quain greeted them as Lady Elise was standing near Lord Ethen and the High Captain, holding the High Captain’s hand as she spoke to both of them.

“I hope you will find time to visit Siccaria under better circumstances sometime in the near future,” said Lord Quain. “You would both be very welcomed to stay in the palace.”

“That is very kind, my lord,” said Roderick. “I believe we would both like to see Siccaria again, perhaps in warmer weather.”

“I should like to visit in spring one day,” said Galen. “I believe it would be quite a site.”

“Spring would be the ideal time. We treat almost every day as a festival, so you would both be well entertained,” said Lord Quain. “I would tell you both that all of the beautiful young ladies of court who could be wroth the trip, but I believe you both might already be set in that area.”

Lord Quain laughed as Roderick gave him a small smile, and Galen couldn’t help but look over at Lexine.

“Perhaps we will make it to Lanoxan first,” said Lord Quain. “I did enjoy much of our trip to Winsdell last summer. I should like to see my niece as queen in her own kingdom and palace.”

“I am sure she would like that as well,” said Roderick.

“Once things are settled in Winsdell, I doubt I will be able to keep my mother from wanting to see her granddaughter,” said Lord Quain. “Of course, her first great grandchild will be born soon. It seems to be a busy time.”

“I thank you for your hospitality, my lord, and hope to see you again soon,” said Roderick.

“Yes, thank you, Lord Quain,” said Galen. “If I can ever be of service to you, please let me know.”

“Watch over my son and niece, and keep them safe. That is all the service I need,” said Lord Quain.

“We will both see to their safety, my lord,” said Roderick as Galen nodded.

“Keep safe yourselves as well. I wish you a safe journey,” said Lord Quain as he held out his hand. Roderick took it and then Galen before Lady Elise and Maia both walked up to them.

“I wish you both safe passage through your trials ahead,” said Lady Elise. “I would ask you to watch out for my granddaughter, but I don’t believe I even had to ask.”

“No, there is not need to ask, my lady. She is always our first priority,” said Roderick.

Lady Elise gave a small smile. “I believe she is fortunate to have both of you.”

“We are the fortunate ones,” said Galen as Roderick smiled at him.

“As you know, my sister as decided to join you,” said Lady Maia. “She is very good at taking care of herself, but I would feel better if you both kept an eye on her.”

Galen looked at his brother and said, “I don’t think that will be a problem, my lady.”

They were soon mounting their horses, Galen riding just behind his High Captain as the king and Roderick were at her side. Galen looked over to see Princess Lexine next to him.

“I hope you don’t mind me riding with you on this journey, Galen. Your High Captain informed me you were to escort me wherever we go, and see to my safety,” said Lexine as she looked at Galen with a sly smile.

Galen saw the High Captain turn and look at him with her own small smile, and Galen nodded. He turned at and looked at Lexine.

“I don’t mind at all, your highness.”