The Sentinel of Cassendar: Resquarian

Dracia stood on the tallest tower of the High Palace of Winsdell. Over her head flew a large golden eagle, circling around as though waiting to snatch up some small prey for a meal. Dracia looked up at it as it opened its mouth and gave one short, sharp cry. She looked back down and in front of her stood Lady Belleth, clothed in a long gray gown, looking at Dracia in a placid way.

Dracia drew her silver sword from her side and stood before Belleth, ready to kill her quickly.

“Dear woman, do you really think you could kill me?” asked Lady Belleth as she crossed her arms. “You could no more kill me than yourself in this moment. We aren’t meant to be at odds, Dracia.”

“You are evil, and you are trying to ruin both of my kingdoms and the whole land. I will destroy you. It is the only way,” said Dracia as she raised her sword.

Lady Belleth smiled. “It is not the only way. You know it is not. You and I are not like the rest. We are something more, something only you and I could ever understand. We are two sides of the same coin, two heads of one powerful creature. We cannot exist without the other. I see that now, and so should you.”

Dracia lowered her sword and looked up as the golden eagle gave another sharp cry, flying down closer in large circles.

“You should come with me, Dracia. I know who you are truly are now. It took me a while to figure it out, but now I do. I have much to show you, much to teach you. You have been held back too long by those who will never understand you. They say they want to keep you safe, but all they really want is for you to never understand your true power. They are scared of you. They hide it and call it love, but it is really fear. Don’t let that fear keep you from becoming all that you should be. Let go of all of them, and come with me,” said Lady Belleth as she uncrossed her arms and held out her hand.

“No, I know that is not true,” said Dracia as tears came to her eyes.

“Oh really?” asked Lady Belleth. “Why does your husband always try to keep you from doing your duty? Why does this so called cousin of yours try to keep you from the fight? They talk to you of furthering their lines, and keeping you within palace walls, but that is not who you are. You do not want a life of comfort in some pretty parlor, watching children, Dracia. You know you do not.”

“You have no idea of what I want,” said Dracia. “Those who love me would never hold me back from doing all I was meant to do.”

“Love,” said Lady Belleth with a laugh. “What has love ever done for you? Every pain you have experienced, every trouble you have come across has happened because of love. Your husband says he loves you, but he kept you a secret until he couldn’t do it anymore. Your father says he loves you, but look what he hid from you your whole life. These High Nobles say they love you, but they didn’t even try to come find you. Love is nothing but an excuse.

“Come with me, and I will show you that all that matters is power. You have so much power within you, my dear. You could use it to make sure you are never hurt again. You could even use it to keep those who say they love you safe because you know if they stay around you, they will never truly be safe. They only way forward is with me. We need each other, we do.”

“No,” said Dracia, raising her sword. “You and I are connected in no way. You are an evil upon this land, and I will end you.”

Dracia moved towards Belleth, raising her sword even higher to plunge it into Belleth who stood there still with her arms at her sides. She smiled at Dracia and said one word that made Dracia halt her sword and let it fall from her hands.

“Resquarian.”

The golden eagle gave another high pierce scream, and Dracia bolted awake, sitting up in her bed, breathing rapidly with tears falling down her face. She threw the covers off of her and made to get up before remembering her broken leg that would not allow her to move. She felt trapped, scared, and alone as more tears fell down her face. Her breathing became rapid, and her heartbeat fast. She had to leave. She didn’t belong there. Everyone around her was in trouble, and she had to find a way to save them, even if it meant leaving them.

“Dracia, what is wrong?” asked Leal as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

She looked at him, breathing fast, with tears falling down her face, unsure of what to say to him. He looked at her in the dim light of the room that came from the fire that still lowly burned in the fireplace. He reached out to her, and she backed away from his touch.

“Dracia?” asked Leal with concern as he still held out his hand. “What is it?”

She shook her head and looked down at her lap. How could she explain it to him? She could say it was only a dream brought on by her pain and the medicine she was taking, but it felt so much more real than some hallucination. Could it all be true? Could she be connected to Belleth in some way? Was she causing all she loved and held dear to be put in danger because of her?

Leal gasped next to her. “You will not run from me or anyone else who loves you at any point. Do you understand me?” he said strongly as he grabbed her arm, moving her to lean close to him.

Dracia looked up at him. How did he know what she was thinking? She suddenly remembered he did have some of the Siccarian ability, and she was not good at blocking him at all.

“I don’t want to,” she managed to whisper through her tears. “I don’t want to run from you.”

She leaned into Leal as he put his arms around her. She felt the power within her surge and move to meet his that had risen within him towards her.

“Whatever it is, you and I will meet it together, Dracia,” he whispered in her ear as Dracia felt their combined power settled over her, giving her peace and making her feel extremely tired.

Dracia nodded and put her head on his shoulder.

“You need rest,” said Leal quietly as he laid down with her in his arms. She felt sleep immediately begin to overtake her as she lay against the warmth of Leal. Before she succumbed to the darkness of sleep, she heard him whisper. “It is you and I who are truly connected, and we will not come undone.”

Dracia woke much later though the room was still dim, any dreams she may have had, lost to the night. She looked over to see Leal was not in the bed next to her. The light from the windows was weak, but Dracia could tell it was due to the clouds in the sky and the thick snow that fell outside and not to it being early. She sat up and stretched, looking around the room to find it empty. She needed to get up and see to her needs before starting her day, but she wondered if she could manage it with her leg. She would have to try.

She moved her leg that felt stiff, heavy, and hot with her hands towards the edge of the bed. She grimaced against the pain that moving it caused as she swung herself to have both of her legs dangle off the edge. She placed her hand on one of the post and slid off the bed, putting her weight on her good leg as she held onto the post. She stood, leaning on the post with her hurt leg dangling off the ground.

She looked across the room to see the door to the bathing area seemed very far away. She surveyed the room as she would a battlefield, seeing places she could hop to and rest as she made her way across the room. Seeing a path before her, she decided she might as well try. She hopped first to a long, skinny table that stood in the middle of the room. As got to it, she placed both of her hands on the surface, breathing heavily as she leaned on the table. She gave herself a few moments of rest before she looked over to the sofa, her next target.

She hopped over and had almost reached the sofa when the door open and surprised her, causing her to stumble. Luckily, she was right at the sofa and managed to fall somewhat haphazardly down onto its thick cushions, landing at a very unflattering angle with her legs in the air.

“I leave you alone for less than ten minutes and this is what happens,” said Leal with some amusement in his voice as he walked over to her. He looked down at her with a small, crooked smile, and held out his hand. “You are alright, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am fine,” said Dracia as she took his hand and sat up. “Though my pride might be hurt, you seeing me in such disarray. I didn’t like living apart from you, but at least you never saw me as clumsy and disheveled as you do now. You might regret marrying me if I keep this up.”

Leal smiled wider. “You might look a little disheveled, but I have seen you in much more discomposed circumstances, and you are always lovely and tantalizing to me,” said Leal with a raised eyebrow. “Now, what in the kingdom where you trying to do?”

“If you must know, I need to see to my normal morning needs, your majesty. I was quite alone when I awoke, and I wasn’t sure what else to do,” said Dracia.

“I wasn’t gone long, dearest, but I should have thought to send in your attendant. I will help you to reach your destination and then summon her so you may dress, though you will stay in our rooms today and the next few days. I hope you know it.”

“How many days do you expect me to stay in here?” asked Dracia as she looked up at her husband.

“As many as it takes to make sure you will heal well. I am sure within a week, I could carry you into one of the parlors or to sit in a courtyard if the snow lets up,” said Leal.

“Carry me? You expect me to let you carry me around the palace?” asked Dracia with annoyance.

“I could have a couple of attendants find a chair to lift into the air and convey you around, I suppose, my queen, but I would much rather you be in my arms,” said Leal with a small laugh.

His teasing tone annoyed her this morning, so she sulked in what she was sure a very unbecoming way.

Leal sighed. “I am not making light of your plight, Dracia. I understand you are frustrated, but will you ever let me take care of you? I have waited many years to be in a position to be able to see to you when you needed me. Can you not let me act as a husband should when I can finally do it?”

Dracia looked up at Leal with a small smile. How could her heart not be touched by such a declaration? “Very well, Leal, I will try. I am not sure how it will look, the king of a great kingdom, carrying a lame woman around, but I will do as you ask as much as I can.”

“I think I will look rather dashing, carrying such a beautiful woman in my arms, but enough of this. Let me help you this morning, and we will go from there.”

Dracia was able to see to her needs. Her attendant, Lanie, came in and helped her to dress simply and comfortably, and before long, Dracia was on the sofa in front of the fire eating a late breakfast.

“You don’t plan to sit here with me all day, do you?” asked Dracia as she finished her meal.

“I plan to stay with you as much as I can,” said Leal as he took her plate and placed it back on the tray on the table, “but I did tell Ethen and Lord Quain I would meet with them in a bit.”

“I am sure there are more things you need to do besides a meeting with Ethen and Lord Quain. Do not let me keep you, your majesty. I know how very important you are, and that you have many responsibilities to your kingdom,” said Dracia.

“Whatever duties I have, there is none so important as seeing to you,” said Leal. “I thought you were going to try, Dracia.”

“I am, but that does not mean I will let you spend every moment waiting for me to have some small need. I can make it to the bell pull to summon an attendant very well if I require something. You should go start your day,” said Dracia.

Leal frowned at her and took her hand as there was a knock at the door. He squeezed her hand before letting it go and getting up to answer the door. Dracia was surprised to see her two brothers standing in the doorway, not knowing they had made it back to Siccaria.

“Is the queen seeing members of the court this morning, your majesty,” asked Kellen with a deep bow.

Leal rolled his eyes as Dracia smiled. “Please come in, both of you,” she said happily.

Leal moved out of the way, and Colm and Kellen made their way into the room and to the sitting area.

“Please sit and keep me company while the king sees to his kingdom’s business. You must see that I am quite an invalid at the moment,” said Dracia.

“I had heard you were injured once again, Dracia,” said Colm as he took a seat. “This is becoming too common of an occurrence.”

“I agree, Colm,” said Leal as he walked over. “I’m afraid your sister never has thought much of her own safety.”

“I do what I must to keep your kingdom safe, my king. I always have done my duty. Now, you go do yours. You must see that I will be looked at for a while by my two brothers. We do have much to discuss,” said Dracia.

“I do have to go to my meeting, but I will come directly back here. You will not argue with me about it.”

“Agreed, but go now and find something interesting for you to tell me about when you return,” said Dracia with a smile at Leal.

“As you command, my queen,” said Leal as he bent down and kissed her gently on her cheek. “I will see if I can find you some more company later as well since mine doesn’t seem acceptable.”

“Yours is more than acceptable, you know it is,” said Dracia.

Leal nodded and walked to the door, giving her one more look before he left the room.

“Well sister, here you are, our queen,” said Kellen with a small laugh. “Colm always said you outshined us in every way. It seems he was very right.”

Colm sighed. “I can’t believe you were married to Leal for over two years and never told anyone in your family, Dracia.”

“It sounds rather romantic and fun to me,” said Kellen with a laugh. “All that sneaking around must have been exciting.”

“It was hard and hurtful, really,” said Dracia. “It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you, Colm. That is not why I didn’t tell you. I barely spoke of it to anyone. Even though I married Leal, much of me never really believed we would ever be together, not really. I thought for sure I would have to give him up, let him out of any promises he made to me.”

“It really shouldn’t have been a surprise, Colm,” said Kellen. “Those two have been sneaking off together almost their whole lives. I once told you right before I married Cecelia that the prince looked like he wanted to snatch our sister up. You laughed me off.”

“I would have thought if Prince or King Leal had any serious thoughts of Dracia he would have gone to our father as was proper,” said Colm.

“It was very complicated, but it is done now. There is no use arguing about it,” said Dracia. “I am very happy.”

“He does seem very devoted to you,” said Kellen. “I hope that he does treat you well. You deserve no less.”

“He treats me very well, Kellen. He always has no matter what it might look like. I have never doubted in his love for me,” said Dracia.

“I can see that you have not given up your place in the Sentinel,” said Colm looking at her leg. “I understand this injury is just one of many you have received recently, and not even the direst. Father is very unhappy with the situation.”

“My leg is nothing, not really. It will heal soon. As far as my injuries from Navalia, they were a little excessive, but I have fully recovered. I cannot give up my place in the Sentinel at this time. You must see it, Colm, and so must father. Lanoxan is in much danger.”

“What does your husband, the king, say about it?” asked Colm. “Is he content to let you continually put yourself in harm’s way?”

“No, he does not like it, but he understands it. He knows who I am, and what I must do. I only wish he did not feel the need to stay by my side in the battles. Lanoxan needs its king,” said Dracia.

“It needs its queen just as much,” said Colm. “And I need my sister, and our father needs his daughter.”

Dracia looked at her brother, not wanting to fight with him, not when she could see he only spoke out of concern.

“What of Siccaria?” asked Kellen. “We haven’t even begun talking about you being a High Noble. To think you aren’t even our full sister, and what father has done.”

Colm sighed. “It is a lot. You must be very angry at father and mother, Dracia.”

Dracia shrugged. “Perhaps at first, but what can be done about it? They made bad choices, but I don’t think they were malicious choices.”

“But to hide who you were all those years,” said Kellen shaking his head. “They kept you from those who should have been your family, Dracia. If anyone has a right to anger, it is you.”

“It does no good to be angry about it,” said Dracia softly. “I know the truth now, and I must deal with it.”

“You already had a lot to deal with,” said Colm. “This all feels like too much, and know you have a kingdom to save and rule over with our king.”

“It can seem overwhelming at times, but I am not alone in all of this. I have Leal, and Lord Ethen, Lady Elise, and Lord Quain. As well as the rest of the Cassendar family, and my Elites.”

“You have us as well,” said Kellen. “I am ready for whatever you would have me do, my queen.”

“Yes, me as well, Dracia,” said Colm. “My wife and children are now safely here in Siccaria thanks to your new family. How can I serve you and our kingdom?”

“I do have some things in mind, but I will have to speak with our king first. I would above all like to keep you both safe, but how can any of us be safe with Navalia attacking. I appreciate your support, and I will let you know very soon what you can both do.”

She talked with her brothers a little longer, telling them to make sure their wives and Colm’s children came to see her soon. They got up to leave when there was a knock at the door. Colm answered it, and Dracia was very surprised to see Lord Owin standing in her doorway. Colm turned and looked at her.

“Please let Lord Owin in, Colm,” said Dracia

“I wanted to check on you, your majesty,” said Lord Owin. He was still dressed in his Siccarian officers’ uniform, looking as if he had hastily cleaned himself.

“I am well, my lord. It is only a broken leg, and it will mend soon enough,” said Dracia. “Please come sit for a moment.”

“Would you like us to stay?” asked Colm as he glanced at Kellen.

“No, it is fine, Colm. Please go see to your wives and children. I shall be fine with Lord Owin, and the king will be back soon,” answered Dracia smiling at Lord Owin.

Colm nodded. “I will check in on you later, sister. Do try to rest.”

“Thank you for granting us an audience with you, your majesty,” said Kellen with a bow by the door. “I hope you will find time to allow us in your presence again soon.”

Dracia rolled her eyes. “Go on, Kellen. I will let you know when I have time for your ridiculousness.”

He laughed as Colm took his arm and pulled him out the door.

“Please excuse my brother, my lord. He is a bit of a character,” said Dracia.

“It is no bother. I have two younger brothers myself that can be quite ridiculous, but I love them all the same,” said Lord Owin.

Dracia nodded. “I am glad to see you made it back safe. Have you returned recently?”

“Just this morning, your majesty. We took care of our fallen soldiers and cleaned up the ones from Navalia.”

“How many did you lose, my lord?” asked Dracia

“Just under seventy,” said Lord Owin bowing his head. “Some very fine men.”

“I have no doubt, and I am sorry for their loss,” said Dracia.

“It would have been much more had you not been with us, High Captain. I had heard of the skills of the Sentinel, but to actually experience them was something else. You and your Elites do fight very well, your skills especially were very impressive.”

“I have worked hard on my skills as have all my Elites, it is our way of life. I am glad we were there to help defend your kingdom,” said Dracia. “As much as I was angry at him for being there, I am glad the king was useful as well.”

“I hope you will not be angry at him, your majesty. You must understand why he did what he did,” said Lord Owin. “How could he let someone like you go off to battle without watching over you?”

“I have been in many battles, my lord. I do know what I am doing.”

“I have no doubt of it, but to see how much your king loves you, I can understand why he couldn’t stand to watch you go without him,” said Lord Owin. “I believe your king loves you in an extraordinary way.”

“I know he does, and I love him, but he cannot put me before his kingdom. Lanoxan needs its king, and his life is worth more than mine. He cannot sacrifice himself for me. If I were to perish, he could find another queen to reign with him,” said Dracia.

Lord Owin smiled slightly. “I hope you forgive me, your majesty, but what you just said is absolute rubbish. You are worth just as much as your king to Lanoxan and maybe even more to Siccaria, and I firmly believe you are essential to your king. He would not find another after you.”

“I didn’t think you would be a romantic, Lord Owin. How many men have professed love eternally for their wife or lovers, but then married another after their loss? I do not fault those men. What else is to be done in the situation?”

“There are many as you describe, but I do not believe your king would be one of them. As a man who once loved a woman fiercely and lost her, I can recognize it in another man. I have never married or had children, your majesty. It was my duty as the oldest son of my family to marry, but I found I couldn’t not after I failed to secure the love of an exceptional woman before she was lost forever.”

Dracia looked at Lord Owin, not sure what to say.

“Your mother used to give me that same facial expression when she was at a loss for words, your majesty. It wasn’t very often, but every now and then she would be speechless,” said Lord Owin with a fond smile.

Dracia looked at Lord Owin with pity, when she began to understand what he was trying to tell her. “You loved Lady Ava.”

“Loved doesn’t seem to really even begin to describe it. I adored her, worshipped her. She was the world to me,” said Lord Owin. “I grew up with her. We were friends since before I could remember. Almost every memory I have growing up included her. I followed her everywhere. I would have done anything for her.”

“She didn’t feel for you as you did for her,” said Dracia sadly.

“She was fond of me. I knew she was. We were the best of friends, and it was a known thing we would be married one day. I think even Ava had accepted it, until she met Lord Arwel. He fascinated her in some way. I could never figure out why. I mean no offense. I haven’t ever wished ill of your father, even though I hated the sight of him for a while because of jealousy.”

“I take no offense, Lord Owin. I have experienced much jealousy over my own husband, especially in the last year when he was thought to be promised to another.”

“I thought when Lord Arwel left, Ava would turn back to me. I knew your father was to be married to a lady from your kingdom. I had resigned myself that Ava would never love me like Arwel, but I didn’t care. To just have her by my side and make her smile would be enough, but even after your father left, she would not agree to marry me.

“I asked her many times. I try to tell her I understood I would never have her whole heart, but she wouldn’t hear it. She told me she wanted me to find someone who would truly love me fully, but I wanted no one else. I believe I almost talked her into marrying me, but then your father must have written to her. She disappeared, and I never saw her again.

“When I heard of her death, I didn’t believe it. I searched for her for over two years all over the kingdom and beyond. In the end I had to accept she was gone. I have never loved another, your majesty. I don’t believe I ever will. I could have married and had children. I had opportunities, but I couldn’t do it. No woman would ever be Ava.”

Dracia reached out and took Lord Owin’s hand on impulse. He held it tenderly and covered it with his other hand as he looked at Dracia.

“You are very much like her, not just in looks. You are fierce and brilliant in a way I have only seen in her, but I believe you have your father’s sense. Let me appeal to that good sense now,” said Lord Owin. “You must understand your worth to not only Siccaria and Lanoxan, but to your king as well. He will not get over you if you die. He will not turn to another. Do not be harsh with him when he wants to protect you and take care of you. Try to understand that if he loses you, he will never recover. He needs you, my dear.”

Dracia looked at Lord Owin who was looking at her with such tenderness and compassion that she could do nothing but nod her head and smile as one tear fell from her eye.

“You are not my daughter, though some part of me believes you should have been, but I do feel some responsibility for you. Ava was not only the one I loved desperately, but she was also my best friend. I will see you safe for her. She would have loved you, your majesty. You can’t even begin to imagine how much.”

“Thank you, my lord,” said Dracia quietly as Lord Owin lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

He patted her hand and let it go, standing up as the door opened, and Leal came into the room.

“Lord Owin, I am surprised, but glad to see you here. I take it you and the rest of the Siccarian forces came back safely?”

“We did your highness, and I should go finish cleaning up and rest for a while,” said Lord Owin. “I imagine we will need to prepare to move into Lanoxan as soon as your queen recovers.”

“Yes,” said Leal. “I know you are not keen on joining Lanoxan in battle, but I do believe it is the right thing to do.”

“My mind has been changed, your majesty. I am very ready to fight the Navalian forces with you. After seeing your queen in battle, I have no doubt I have picked the winning side.”

“She has never been beaten. I believe you have chosen well,” said Leal with a smile.

“Indeed. You should take care of her, your majesty. She is a precious find of a woman.”

“I know it for certain,” said Leal. “She is above anything I could ever deserve, and I plan to spend my whole life trying to be a little worthy of her.”

“I will go and leave you to it then,” said Lord Owin. “Queen Dracia, I hope you recover quickly, and I hope you take the advice I gave you to heart.”

“I appreciate it, Lord Owin. I will certainly meditate on it.”

Lord Owin nodded before walking out of the room.

“How are you, dearest?” asked Leal as he sat down next to Dracia.

“Desperate for you, actually,” said Dracia as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “I am sorry I gave you such a hard time for joining the battle and wanting to take care of me. I do appreciate it.”

“I know,” said Leal as he kissed her head. “You are a strong woman, Dracia. I know you like to take care of yourself, but it brings me great joy to see to you.”

Dracia snuggled further into him. “I will do better in letting you then. I love you, Leal. You always say you don’t deserve me, but I believe it may be the other way around. It was you who fought for us all those years. It was you who convinced me to marry you. I owe my happiness to you.”

“I think we were just meant to be together, Dracia. I just couldn’t wait for fate to let it happen. You know I have no patience. I had to have you as soon as I could, and now I get to spend the rest of our lives with you by myside, and I plan for our lives to be very long indeed.”

“I hope you are right, Leal. I will do everything I can to see that we have many years together,” said Dracia as she looked up at him. “I will keep you safe, my king.”

“And I will you, my queen,” said Leal before he leaned down and kissed her.