The Raven & The Wolf

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Groaning, I stand up and walk out of my room, making sure to close the door after me. I open Stanya’s door, relieved that I forgot to lock it from earlier. They’re both still asleep but I don’t really care at this point. I groan as I flop down next to Stanya on her bed, making them both bolt up and gasp.

“Natasha, what are you doing?” She demands while Halthin tries to move away from me.

“Did you know that dreams are sometimes repeating memories?” I ask her, my face buried in the mattress.

“Nat, are you-”

I cut her off as I touch the raven on my back. “And Fates are jackasses.”

I hear a pause while Stanya takes a deep breath, understanding my message without being really told it. It’s really beneficial to have known someone as long as I have for this exact kind of situations.

“Halthin, you better go,” Stanya says with earnest in her voice.

“Is she upset about us?” Halthin demands, an odd note in his tone.

“You two can fuck and date as much as you like,” I tell Halthin. “I’m happy for you two, and I encourage it. Now get out.”

“Is this something I should be included in?” He hedges.

“Halthin, if I lift my head and see your dick, I’m going to rip it off. Out!” I yell, not caring in the slightest about his feelings.

“Go, I’ll talk to you later,” Stanya insists. I hear a kissing sound, so I assume she’s forcibly dismissing him.

A few moments later Stanya touches my back. “Okay, he’s gone. What is going on? You-Ow!” She hisses because I flicked her hard. I jerk my good hand towards my marks.

“Oh. Oh! That’s messed up.” She tells me as I sit up. I nod with what has to be the most pitiful look she’s ever seen on my face. Her face folds and gathers me in a tight hug for a minute before releasing me. Stanya is still currently naked, and I can see her small breasts perfectly.

“I hate this. Like no one can even talk about it, or then everything goes to shit,” I whine, crossing my legs. “Nothing is going right today. Like Gedric came into my room last night. The rain was giving me insane dreams. And now Drew and Gedric are fighting because Gedric told him he’s the Champion. I thought he would take it as an honor, but Drew is treating it as if it’s a death sentence.”

“Wait, hold up. Gedric came to your room last night?” Stanya interrupts me before I can keep going.

“Yes,” I whine. “He was freaked out that I wasn’t in his room, and it confirmed he wasn’t dreaming. He doesn’t want to be the Champion either, and I don’t want him to be either. He’s going to get hurt. I don’t even know if he can even kill Ari since he has the bear mark somewhere in him. I don’t think it’s on him, but I can’t be sure until I can see him fully naked. But then again, he hasn’t seen it either.”

“You want to see him naked?” Stanya demands.

“Woman, shut up,” I hiss.

She rolls her eyes. “Why?”

“One word. Articus.”

She flinches. “Good point.”

“You see what I’m up against?” I groan and pull my leg in. “I don’t know what to do Stanya. Okay, I know what I have to do, but I hate doing it.”

Her eyes narrow, and she thinks before responding. “Your interests are elsewhere other than the Fates, aren’t they? Like Ari?”

I bite my lip and nod. Stupid Fates. I wave her off, deciding I can’t handle this subject anymore. “So I take it your alone time with Halthin went over well.”

She blushes deeply and nods. “I finally confessed my feelings to him. He initially turned me down gently, and I was devastated. I demanded to know why, and he said he had feelings for both you and I, but he didn’t know what to do. He thought that if he told me that he liked you, then it would make him feel like he had actually made a decision. I kind of broke friendship code and told him that you were no longer interested in him. He wanted to know why, and I told him you had given up on him, because you’d rather not risk hurting me. That made him absolutely furious because he didn’t even know that you ever had feelings for him and he ran off. That’s around the time Gedric showed up looking for you.

“Halthin showed up to my room late last night and demanded that we talk. After we had talked for hours, we decided to do the most childish thing and kiss. It was amazing, like really amazing. I swear I saw stars Nat. Then one thing led to another, and well you probably have a good idea of what happened after.

“It was amazing! It was everything and more than I had expected. He was so gentle with me at first, like he was scared he’d break me. Then again, I’m like half the man’s size, though he did this weird thing with his tongue. Like he licked my neck in circular motions. I don’t think that’s normal, but considering what else he brought to the plate I can’t complain. It wasn’t even awkward like most first time hookups. And he’s huge Nat, like big and thick. Seriously, it was the best sex of my life.”

She continues to gush while I try not to let jealously climb through me. I’m happy for her, I truly am. It’s just that she gets to start a new love, and I get to throw mine in the trash. I want to kick the Fates in the teeth one at a time, multiple times, until those immortal pieces of shit actually die. They’ve lived since the creation of magic, it’s time for them to die. That, or put someone else in charge. I truly hate that because I have magic, I’m internally linked to them, therefore vulnerable to them. If I wasn’t the only one that even had a shot to killing Ari, I would beg them to drain me of my magic.

“Seriously Nat, I’ve never been happier. I still can’t believe that this has happened. Maybe we should go out just the four of us. I know you and Gedric aren’t a couple, but that way it won’t make you feel like the third wheel, and you’ll have company if Halthin and I get too interested in each other. I mean who can blame me? He’s absolutely gorgeous.”

Mercifully, a knock stops her incessant gushing. I stand up, “I’ll get it. You might want to cover up,” I suggest, motioning to my chest.

“Oh,” she blushes, immediately shielding her breasts. She gets up and starts throwing on clothes while I go to answer the door.

When I open it, Gedric and Halthin are standing on the other side of it. I swear every time I open a door, Gedric is the one on the other side. “How are things?” Halthin asks me, giving me a calculated look.

“Fine. Now goodbye.” I say, pushing past them.

“Nat, come on,” Gedric calls after me.

“No,” I say, very much upset. I quickly shut the door behind me and lock it. I just want to wallow in self pity for the day. That’s all I ask in this moment. Going to Stanya was a mistake. Now I feel even more heartache and now some jealousy. Not about Halthin. Fates no, I’m glad I dodged that relationship. Relieved is more like it. I want that. I want that happy giddy moment after doing something big. If I could mentally punch someone in the face, Articus would be the first on my list. Okay, Ari first, then Articus. It infuriates me that he’s right, but it’s disturbing that he had to be the one to learn firsthand.

A knock sounds at the door. “Gedric, just leave me alone.”

“What is wrong with you? Are you upset about Halthin and Stanya.”

“Fates no,” I answer quickly, nearly gagging.

“Then what is it?”

“Everything, now leave me alone!”

“Look, lets go train. Teaching me always seems to cheer you up.”

Fates I hate that he knows that. “Just go away,” I tell him, pulling my legs to my chest.

“Please don’t shut me out Nat.” He begs. “I can’t help you unless you let me.”

I get up and yank the door open. I glare at him. “Fine, if it’ll shut you up, lets go train.” I march past Stanya and slam her door shut, locking her out. After getting dressed in a backless black top, and long flowing red pants, I open the door before stomping back to my room to get my shoes and put my sling on. The three are just watching me with wide eyes; well two, Stanya is giving me sympathetic ones, which somehow makes me feel worse.

I walk past them, letting them follow me. I hear Stanya tell them to just let me be. Gedric asked if it’s him that has me upset. Her response to that was. “In a way.”

I wave at Silva as I pass her, leading the trio outside. I’m determined to make Gedric strong, but I’m not going to take it easy on him, since I’m desperate to be alone to process my thoughts. I lead them to the end of the street, stopping just out of reach of the pouring rain.

“Get out there,” I tell Gedric.

He looks at me as if I’m insane. “Are you serious? It’s pouring out there.”

“You’ll be dry if you can use the earth’s magic to create a barrier between you and the air. You need to create a dry patch of air around you.”

“Are you serious?” He demands again. “Nat, that’s impossible.”

“You wanted to train, and you’re already almost through elemental sorting. This is one of the harder things you’ll have to learn. Learn this, and we’ll move on to you moving physical earth magic.”

He glares at me, “Why are you so angry with me?”

“You’re the one that wanted this.” I snap. “I just wanted to stay locked in my room today. Are you saying you’d rather wait, and we can resume training tomorrow?”

His eyes lock with mine, anger sparking behind his. “Does this have anything to do with last night?”

“Would you just get out there?” I ask, dodging an answer.

Stanya frowns at me, “Let it go Gedric.”

“Not until she tells me what her problem is.”

“She’s telling you in her own way. She’s limited in what she can actually say.” Stanya touches his arm. “For her, let it go.”

He gives her a calculated look. “What do you mean by that?”

“Gedric, drop it,” I hiss, stepping out into the rain.

“Nat, your stitches.” Gedric says, yanking me back. “You can’t get them wet.”

“Then I suggest you drop it, or I’m going to go somewhere else.” I tell him, giving him a hard look. It’s physically hurting me to be this mean to him, but I can’t tell him. I need him to stop this. I want to tell him. I’m dying to tell him. All I want is to kiss him and embrace him, but that would be assigning him a death sentence.

He takes a deep breath. “You will tell me what is going on with you one of these days.” That wasn’t a request.

“Fine,” I say quickly, watching him step out into the rain. “Now find your roots. You can’t physically feel the earth in your shoes, so you’ll need to expand past your body.” I instruct. “Close your eyes, and put your desire to heart. Focus on that while you remember your training. Find the water in the air and push it away from you.”

Gedric nods and closes his eyes. He stands there for a long while. Long enough that I have sat on the ground and started teaching Halthin basic magic again. I’m more gentle with him. Stanya has opted to wait until it is drier to start learning her magic.

After an hour and a half, and I have had time to cool off, I just about give up. I honestly thought he’d be ready for this step. I technically didn’t have to make him stand in the rain, but that was in retaliation to him not letting me have a chance to figure myself out. Or give me time to grieve a relationship that will never become anything, though I desperately want to try it.

When I stand, I feel something pulling towards me. Quickly, I react, reaching towards the safety I once felt while I swing my magic in front of me, creating a shield moments before water swings towards us with enough force to rival a tidal wave.

“Natasha!” Stanya yells while I watch the water swarm around us, soaking the deck behind us completely.

“Reflex,” I say while Gedric stands there opened mouthed, staring at us. He’s lost his concentration, which has stopped the water from trying to hit us. Gently, I lower my shield and just wait for that ever so familiar feeling of an oncoming overload.

“Are you okay?” Gedric ask, running towards me, as if ready to catch me if I were to fall.

“I’m fine,” I answer, still unsure of myself. “I don’t know how, but I am.”

“What in the name of Fates did you just do?” Stanya demands from Gedric. “You could have sent her into overload.”

“I don’t know. I just got angry and I mentally pictured myself smacking the water away from me, then that thing happened.” He touches my arm as he looks me over. “Are you sure you’re okay? How did you use magic without hurting yourself?”

“I used the earth’s filter…” I answer, looking at my hands. “I don’t know how, but I did.”