The Porch Wolf

“You’re an idiot,” Chairman Wolfe told me.

“What?” I was confused; what had I done?

“Luna Susan, please join me in the other room. Alpha Leo needs some time with his wolf.” They stood and walked out as I tried to figure out what was wrong with Luna McInnis.

I moved my scooter towards the window; the skies were rapidly darkening, and I could see Mike’s wolf outside with a red-furred female and another male I didn’t recognize. She took off towards the woods, running hard with the two in pursuit.

The door opened and Anita came in to check on me. “You’re an asshole. How could you do that to your mate? You get a blessing from Luna that few are fortunate to find, and you reject her without a second thought?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Adrienne is our MATE,” my wolf told me. “You hurt her!”

I thought back to all the cues I’d dismissed. My wolf’s anxiousness. The scent that drew me in. The tingles in my arm as our fingers touched. His desire to follow after her. “Fuck! Why didn’t you say something to me?”

“You weren’t ready to hear it. I was going to let you get to know Adrienne, but I never thought you’d be so rude and dismissive of Adrienne to her FACE! You looked at another woman and told her she could have her place in your Pack because you didn’t have a mate. She had hope again, and you crushed it like a bug with your rejection,” my wolf replied. I looked over at Anita, who was ready to kill. “I didn’t know,” I said. “He never told me she was my mate.” I felt like dried up dog-shit on the sidewalk.

“She’s out there picking up pieces of her heart, Alpha. What are you going to do about it?”

“I can’t exactly go chase her down!” I hated the scooter and the injuries for making me so helpless.

“You figure out a way to fix this, Alpha. A Pack needs a strong Luna, and she is all that and more. Hell, if it came to a vote, we’d keep her and kick your sorry ass out,” she said. “Mike is letting her run out her anger in the woods. You better prepare some spectacular groveling for when she returns, or she’s liable to reject you back.” She turned in a huff, leaving me alone in my office.

I looked out the window, but it was facing the wrong direction. I drove the scooter out of the office and down the hall to my bedroom, intending to sit and watch the back. As I came in, my eyes caught the shrine to Catherine I’d built on top of my dresser. My hand turned the controls without conscious thought, spinning me until I was facing it. The urn’s design was at my eye level, the running wolves and trees reminding me of our happy days. The photograph above, of our wolves together. I looked at the photos on the dresser, reaching for the one from the Pack party around our pool eight years ago.

Catherine in her bikini by my side, surrounded by our friends in and out of the water. Tears rolled down my face as I looked at all I had lost. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t let you go like you asked me to,” I said. She wanted me to live, love, and be happy when she was gone. Until Christmas, I was one for three, barely.

“Unky Leo?” The voice from the part-open door broke me out of my funk. “You crying.”

“Come here, Sharkbait,” I said as I wiped my eyes.

She came over and climbed up into my lap. She didn’t say anything, she just hugged my chest as I cried. “Mommy said you still miss your mate,” she finally said when I had stopped sobbing.

“Every day I wake up wanting to see her, and my heart breaks again when she’s not here,” I said. I showed her the photo. “She was so full of happiness. She would have loved you.”

“I miss grandma,” she said. “Will I always feel like this?”

“It gets better,” I said. “You remember the ones who die in your heart, and you move on with your life.”

“How is that going,” she asked. My jaw dropped a little; she was insightful beyond her years.

“Not well, I’m afraid. Catherine wanted me to move on and find another mate; she was worried I’d fall apart and lose the will to live. The sad part is that she was right. If I hadn’t found you and your Mom, I’d still be a mess.”

“It’s all right to be happy. Mate told you,” she said as she snuggled into my chest. “I love you, Unky Leo,” she said.

“I love you too, Vicki.” I put the photo back on the dresser as she fell asleep in my lap. I closed my eyes and sought out my wolf in my head; he was whining and upset. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready for another.”

“She is ready for us if you can fix this,” he replied.

I took off my wedding band and placed it on the dresser by the urn. As I rubbed Vicki’s back, I heard a wolf howling her pain and loss to the moon. It broke my heart.

Luna Adrienne McInnis’ POV

My brain had been in a fog since I entered the room and scented Alpha Leo. My wolf, normally disinterested, was watching him closely. When we touched, I felt it through my arm and right to my core. I knew he felt it too; his hand caught mine for a moment before he let go. I felt my wolf surge forward to meet his and knew he was my mate.

Then he let my hand go and went on.

I sat back, confused. This wasn’t what happened the first time I found my mate; I’d jumped him and we were both half-naked by the time we got to my room. I watched Leo, wondering if he was in THAT much control. Of course, the Council was here on business, so maybe he wanted that out of the way. I couldn’t very well mediate a dispute if he was my mate, so I was relieved when he told the Chairman he didn’t need me.

As soon as the work was done, we’d be together and straightened it all out, I told my wolf. She waited patiently as he went through his proposal. I was impressed; Leo was in a place of strength, he could have demanded anything and Luna Miller would have to take it. Instead, he found a solution that neutralized the humans and served the best interests of both Packs. I had to admit, it was better than the plans in my head when we left the Welch Pack.

I liked his wolf; he was dominant but fair, maybe not as strong as mine, but he hadn’t needed to be the bitch I was to get things done. He treated Susan well, placing blame where it lay and help where it was needed. It was difficult evaluating him physically when he was in a scooter, his arm in a sling and lower leg in a brace. His face and arms showed bruises from the accident. He wasn’t as bulky as I expected in a mantled Alpha, but what Susan told me would explain it. She said Leo had remained in a funk after his mate died of cancer, and it got so bad that her husband took over for the good of the Pack. When Pack members saw him, they’d all said he was wasting away. She expected he would be dead in a year or two, not starting another Pack. The little girl at the center of all the problems was the reason for his return. His niece gave his wolf reason to live.

I started to pay more attention as he finished his proposal. My wolf took notice when he told Susan that she would be acting Luna. “What is he thinking,” I asked my wolf.

Then he said the words that broke me. “My mate is dead,” Leo said.

My wolf howled, and pain coursed through my body as I felt the rejection of his words. It took a moment to do anything, and I stopped my wolf as she rushed forward to attack him. “NO. Not here,” I told my wolf. I excused myself and left before my emotions got away from me. I walked out, heading back towards the front door. I practically ran out to our car, but I couldn’t run away like I wanted. The Chairman’s guard had the keys, and his business here was not done. I opened the door, then stripped off my clothes and tossed them in the back seat. Shifting into my rust-colored wolf, I shook my fur out.

Wolves couldn’t cry like humans could. My heart was broken, and I just wanted to get out of here.

A black wolf with some white and gray underneath ran out the garage entrance, moving towards me but leaving me my space. I took a sniff; he was the Beta, here to watch over me. I was not in their Pack, and I was in wolf form on Leo’s land. The Chairman’s guard also came out in wolf form and joined us. I chuffed and headed towards the woods I had seen behind the house; I needed to run to settle my wolf. As I did, I caught a glimpse of Leo in the office, looking out at me.

It would be the last time he would see me. I would leave with the Chairman and return home to Maine to lick my wounds. I’d been shocked to find a second chance mate, but at least it never went as far as establishing a bond. I’d never survive the loss of another mate.

The Beta took the lead as we ran hard through the woods, and I stayed on his tail so he wouldn’t slacken the pace. The guard followed behind us as we weaved along the trail, heading down into a ravine. We turned to the right when we reached the Cannon River, running hard through the snow for a few miles. He took us back up to the bluffs, then we looped back towards his property. He slowed on the slick trails near the limestone cliffs, finally slowing to a walk as we reached a rocky point. He looked back at me, then crawled to the edge and put his head on his paws.

I sat near the edge; the view was beautiful, the moonlight making the snow glow softly, while it sparkled off the river below. I was breathing heavily for the run, but my chest ached from more than just the cold temperatures. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body. Raising my muzzle to the sky, I released my pain and loss into the night sky with a long howl. It echoed off the bluffs on each side as I listened; far away, another wolf howled in response.

I lay down next to the Beta, looking over the edge. The cliff dropped off at least eighty feet into the rocks below, more than enough to end my life if I chose. I caught my breath as I thought about my life, and when I got up, I had made the decision.

I was not going to be defined by a male. I’d made my reputation without him, and I would go on with my life without him. It was his choice and his loss.

I stood up and motioned with my head to the Beta; I wanted to head back. He led us through the trails, and it wasn’t long before we saw the lights of Leo’s home ahead of us. When we got back to the car, both males left me to dress; the guard went back to the front door, while the Beta went into the garage. As I pulled the last of my outfit back on, the Beta was waving for me from the garage. I followed him into the cavernous space. “I know it’s not my business,” he started.

“But you’re going to talk about it anyway,” I said.

“Yes. My mate has told me about what happened, and before you go back in there, there are a few things I’d like to say.” He told me about the short history of the Miesville Pack, and the condition Leo had been in. He pointed to the stacks of whiskey boxes by the entrance to the house. “His normal day was to sleep late, eat poorly, go to his usual place for dinner that night, then grab a bottle on the way in and drink it until he fell asleep again.”

“I got the basics of his life. I fought the same things,” I said.

“He and his wolf broke out because Vicki and Liv needed him. He’s never let go of Catherine, his previous mate. We don’t think he was ready to find another.” He looked towards the door to the kitchen. “Please, talk to him before you make any final decisions. He needs you as much as you need him.”

“I need no one,” I said, “but I’ll speak to him. I am still a Council negotiator, and I have a job to do.”

“Thank you.” He opened the door to the kitchen for me; I walked in to find the Chairman talking to a preschool-age werewolf and her young parents.

“Ah, Adrienne. Sit, dinner will be served soon. This is Olivia Andersen and Brent Lawrence, and their daughter Vicki. Liv and Brent accepted each other shortly after her change completed, and Vicki here made her first shift about a week ago.”

I set my shoulders and sat down. “Congratulations on your mating,” I said with a forced smile. I could sense the mantle on Vicki. “And on your shift.”

“After our meeting, I believe the Council is not required here. I have urgent business in Michigan, so I will be leaving momentarily.”

“I will grab my things and get ready to go,” I said.

“No. Alpha Leo’s plan is a good one, but it is just a plan right now. I want a Council representative here to monitor it and make sure it happens. You’re the one. You will stay here, in this house, and brief me daily on progress.”

He couldn’t do this to me. “Sir, if we could speak in private, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be here right now.”

“You are here. Your mate is here. If I have to lock you in a room until you can work this out between you, I will. Adrienne, the only way you leave her unmated is if you kill him first.”

I sat back, my wolf and I were furious. If he thought I was going to bend down and move my tail aside for this man after what he did, they had another think coming. “That just might happen,” I said with a growl.

“Good luck, Mediator McInnis. Thank you all for dinner, and congratulations on your Pack.”