Chapter 25 - The Clearing in the Forest of Always-Will-Be
But Notail knew he had no choice anymore.
“Help me,” he said and, leaning on Bone and trailing one useless leg behind him, Notail made himself put paw in front of paw and padded out of the manden. He could smell morning. He could see dawn breaking. The air held the scents of spring. He could hear the song of the sea.
He collapsed and felt grass brush his fur. Living grass set free from snow.
Bone pushed his muzzle at Notail’s side and tried to force him to stand but Notail would not move.
“Don’t go,” the young dog pleaded.
Notail managed a smile.
“I think,” he said, “this is where we have to part.”
“Don’t say that,” said Bone. “We will find the Pale Fox and the Manless Land. We will, I know it.”
Notail shook his head, every movement creasing his body.
“I will not find the Pale Fox with you, Bone,” he said, his smile faltering. “I know that now. I failed. I led you all this way for nothing. I thought we would find the Manless Land, I thought it was here in the west but I am not sure now, I cannot see it, I cannot feel it.”
Bone nuzzled his head against Notail’s chest.
“You’re wrong,” said Bone. “You saved me. You taught me how to be wild. You brought me through the snow. I would have ended without you. We found the west, we found it together.”
Notail closed his eyes. He could feel the young dog’s warm fur against his. He is right, thought Notail, I brought him west, I kept him alive. I did that, maybe that is enough.
“Leave me, Bone” Notail said softly. “I am happy here now.”
Now I am where there is no dread, he said to himself. Now I am in the west.
Bone told Notail that it was not true, that they would find the Pale Fox together, that they would hunt the Manless Land together, that they would be friends until they were old and their barks were no louder than the barks of pups and cubs but Notail did not hear any of Bone’s words. Notail was already in the clearing in the forest watching his cubs sleep, nuzzling his mate as a sun that would never set chased away all shadows and darkness.