Chapter 39. Full Circle
ON NORMAL DAYS, St. John’s school grounds were the busiest places on campus. Students went there to gather at the picnic tables, to play basketball by the covered court, or to take a stroll before classes. I never thought that I’d miss all the noise, all the sounds, all the motion. And now, all that lay before me was a quiet, empty space under a fiery red sky, the grass blades blowing gently against the breeze. It would have passed for a peaceful sight, but I heard scratching, clawing, and growling where the sound of cars driving by should have been.
I turned my head to the nearest gate and saw them again: their talons̴, their red glowing eyes, and their sharp teeth. They shook and gnawed at the iron gates that separated them from St. John’s, while those at the back continued to push their way to the front.
I broke my gaze from the monsters and moved forward. Rachael was now a few steps away from me, her eyes fixed on the boys’ dormitory building up ahead. Walking across the school grounds, I grew desperate for answers. I had sent Philip an airplane beforehand, telling him to meet us down by the lobby. It felt unfair of me to expect so much from him, but at that time, he felt like my only hope.
I had Julio’s lighter with me in case he had no plan to offer. It was what I intended to destroy my records with. It had been his goal to stop Cassandra, and since he could no longer fulfill his mission, I was going to do it for him.
The lobby of the boys’ dorms was an exact duplicate of that of the girls’. Benches lined the walls leading up to a dusty front desk. Behind it was the staircase and elevator leading up to the dorms, while a security camera monitored the premises on a nearby wall. Four tables occupied the corner of the space, providing an area for students to hang out.
On that day, however, there was none of that. The harsh morning light shone through the windows, illuminating the emptiness. Only Philip was in the lobby when Rachael and I came in. He sat on one of the benches with a backpack strapped to his shoulder and his eyes fixed on the dormitory’s entrance.
“There you are,” he said. “I was thinking those monsters would break through the walls before you’d get here.”
“Did you figure it out?” I asked him. “Did you think of a way to defeat Cassandra?”
He sighed, lowered his head, and shook it. It was then I realized how tired he looked: He had dark circles under his eyes, an absentminded stare, and shaky hands that rested on his lap. He didn’t need to say anything else, but he raised his head.
“I tried,” he said. “I snuck out of my dorm to talk with my boss in the parking lot. We stayed up all night. Nothing came to mind.”
Rachael stepped forward. “Quinn and I will help you. Bree and Harumi are on their way. With the five of us, we’ve got to figure something out.”
“Sorry, Rachael, but I need to speak to Quinn alone for a while.”
Rachael looked like she wanted to reason with Philip, but she withheld herself. “Okay.”
“Don’t go too far, though. If you leave Quinn’s side, that may be the monster’s cue to strike. Just wait for us outside.”
And with that, Rachael nodded and left the lobby, leaving me and Philip alone.
“Philip,” I whispered. “We have to retrieve my records. There has to be a way. Maybe the Spanish House can help. They could—”
And then, words failed to come out of my mouth. Philip had pulled something out of his backpack. I just stood there, both utterly shocked and confused.
In Philip’s hands were my records.
“H—How?” I gasped.
Philip averted his eyes. “I lied to you, Quinn. Mr. Simon and I brought this with us when we drove you back here from the Archives. He told me to give it back to you, but I wouldn’t listen to him. I said I would think of another way but I failed.”
He placed the records back in his bag and handed them to me, tears misting his eyes. “We’re running out of time. The monsters could break through the walls at any moment. Go out the back so Rachael doesn’t see you. I trust that you know what you’re doing.”
My hands shook as I took the bag. I slung it over my shoulder, and without thinking, I leaned forward and gave Philip a hug.
“Philip,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
He brought his arms around my small frame. “I’m sorry it had to be this way.”
“Please,” I croaked. My tears had run dry. “Don’t make this harder than it’s supposed to be.”
I pulled away. It was not yet time for me to leave. There was still something I needed to do.
“Before I go,” I began. “There’s something I need to ask you.”
Philip blinked. “Wh—what is it?”
I felt the pocket of my jeans. There was something I wanted to give him, but on one condition:
“Will you do me a favor?”
Dear reader, I am addressing you once more.
I know I said that things would get better, but in those times, I had wished to recall the ending differently. Perhaps, in another timeline, fate wouldn’t be so cruel to me. I am, in fact, just a character, a piece of fiction created by a restless mind. Anyone, even you, could take me and make up different realities for me to live in.
So if you think that this next part is too unfair, too cruel, you may go ahead and do so. You can even drop this book at this very moment. You don’t have to watch me erase my existence. You can even go curse The Author for coming up with this twisted ending.
It is up to you to decide.
But if you’re still reading, thank you for joining me. Leaving Philip at the boys’ dorms wasn’t easy. My feet felt heavy, and as I walked on, I forced myself to look forward. I didn’t want to spot something that would change my mind in the slightest. I had made the decision. I had been selfish so many times in my life, and this wasn’t the time to be so. Cassandra would destroy everything if I didn’t hurry.
Strangely enough, my feet had taken me to the storage shed.
Some part of my subconscious might have known that it would be the perfect place. It rested in the farthest corner of the school grounds where wild patches of grass around the area. Aside from the fact that nobody could easily find me there, it was also the very spot where all the madness started.
On the eve of the Founding Festival, I had kissed Curtis without thinking. My secret feelings for him were among the first things Cassandra used against me. I hadn’t gone to the storage shed since, and now that I was back, I recalled the spot where that fateful kiss happened: by the shelf where the kitchen supplies were stored.
It would be rather poetic if I had ended it all where it started.
Maybe that was my intention from the very beginning; I couldn’t say for sure. I opened Philip’s bag, pulled out my records, and produced Julio’s lighter from my pocket. The monsters from outside the walls pierced through the silence, their voices growing louder with each passing second.
I brought the lighter up to my records.
I closed my eyes, ready to light a small flame.
But just as I was about to do so, my records flew out of my hands.
I looked up, worried that someone was there with me. When I realized that no one was around, I noticed how different things looked. Rage tinted my view of the world, and I had the sudden urge to destroy.
Destroy.
Destroy.
I had no clue where those thoughts were coming from. At first, I thought it was nothing, so I shook my head and turned around to retrieve my records.
And that was when something strange came out of my mouth:
“What do you think you’re doing?”
I felt someone grab my hand.
Still, there was no one around.
“You think you’re so smart, aren’t you?” my mouth continued. “You want to destroy the source of my power, even if it means erasing yourself? Wow, I never thought you’d do it, but here you are. I’ve underestimated your determination.”
Cassandra, my mind screamed.
I thought I had just frozen in shock, but I then had the urge to look behind me. I couldn’t move my body. I couldn’t say anything.
Cassandra had possessed me. I was all alone.
I didn’t know what to do.
“Of course,” she continued. “I’m not gonna let that happen.”
And that was when I collapsed. As I hoisted myself up on my elbows, I watched the color drain from my fingers. Pain swam around in my head, and my knees buckled as I tried to stand.
Then, Cassandra showed herself.
She walked down an aisle of shelves, her footsteps echoing on the floorboards. In the crimson light, she appeared before me like a fallen angel. Her pale skin was pristine and glossy, contrasting her dark sweater and stockings.
“You know, Quinn,” she said. “I’m getting exhausted. This isn’t fun anymore. I know you’re getting tired of this, too. So why don’t we just end things here?”
“N—no,” I groaned.
But it was useless. With each passing second, my body grew weaker. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t move. I was helpless. I could only manage to look up and see the satisfied grin on Cassandra’s face.
“Shh, Quinn,” she cooed. “It’ll be fine. You won’t feel a thing…”
In the corner of my eye, I found my records on the floor near me. Gingerly, I stretched out a hand. If I could scoot over a little and reach it…
“It’s okay,” Cassandra murmured. “It’ll all be over before you know it. Just close your eyes…”
Almost… there…
“And think of nice, happy things…”