The Many Faces of Tully

I’ve been here for exactly six months. It’s the beginning of September and I’ve finally decided to go up against Jace. We keep having moments where we get close to talking about our feelings for each other and I’m tired of dancing around the edges. I want to know if I can be with him or not. Besides, he keeps bugging me about it.

I’m waiting for Jace in the kitchen. I woke up at two o’clock this morning, too nervous to sleep. I know he’s going to want to do it right away and I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of killing him. Or the possibility of not killing him and then being able to confess my feelings for him.

My legs are bumping up and down and I’m tapping my wrist repetitively on the table. My watch clanks noisily every half second. The coffee brewed about twenty minutes ago so I’m expecting Jace any minute. Maybe I shouldn’t do this.

“Oh, hey.” Jace walks in and smiles hugely at me. “Good morning.” He’s wearing his dark blue jeans and a white V-neck t-shirt. His hair isn’t gelled again and all I want to do is run my fingers through his hair. Maybe I can after the events that are about to transpire.

“Hey,” I exhale quickly. My heart is thudding unevenly. I can’t stop fidgeting, and I know he’ll notice and ask what’s up.

“Are you okay?” He walks behind me and gets a mug of coffee.

“Yeah. I’m fine. You?” I sound breathless.

“Well, I was doing good, but now I’m slightly worried about you. You seem nervous. What’s up?” He sits down in front of me without getting breakfast.

“Uh, well. I’ve been thinking. I’ve been thinking a lot actually about, um, practicing…?” I say slowly.

He cocks his head slightly and a small smile starts to spread across his lips. “Practicing? Practicing what?”

“Well. I think we should, uh, practice,” I say awkwardly, gesturing between us.

He raises an eyebrow. “What are we practicing?” He’s trying to contain his smile. He’s failing.

I take a deep breath. Toughen up, Tully, I think to myself. “Practicing our powers. Against each other.” I say with as much confidence I can muster.

“So you’ve finally caved, have you?” He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, smirking.

“If that makes you feel better about yourself, then sure. I just think that you need to practice your powers some more. So you’ll go first,” I say to him. I’ll do it if he does it. I don’t want to do it first.

“Fine. I guess we have to wait until Nash gets up.” He sounds disappointed and relieved at the same time. A vicious smile starts to spread across my face. I know how hard this is going to be on me, so I’m going to make it harder on him.

“No, we don’t. Was I not clear enough earlier? I said we were going to practice our powers on each other.” I watch with satisfaction as his smile slips off his face.

“No.”

“We don’t even know if your power will work on Nash. It’s only logical to practice on someone who you know it will work on. And if I have to nearly kill you, then, I think it’s only appropriate that you have to nearly kill me.” I cross my arms and lean back too.

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. My logic stumps him. I knew he wouldn’t want to practice on me. He cares for me like I care for him.

“Besides, I don't think you want me dead, so you can just bring me back to full health. I don’t think you’ll lose control, so I’ll be fine. I’ll heal from it. You’ll take my health and then give it back. Just like what I’ll do to you. We’re even this way.” I’m the one smirking now.

“But I don’t want to kill you, Tully,” he says earnestly.

“You want to kill Nash?” I question him.

“No, but I don’t like the risk.” He unfolds his arms and leans forward. He’s staring at me pleadingly.

“And I do? I think this makes it more fair. You’re confident you’ll heal right?” I ask him. I uncross my arms and lean in too.

“Pretty confident, yeah,” he admits.

“We’ll I’m pretty confident that you’ll heal me too. You’ll attempt to take my health and then you’ll give it right back. I trust you.” I try to convince him.

“What if I don’t trust myself?” he pleads.

“I don’t trust my powers to not kill you, but I’m willing to risk it, because you want me to.” He’s going to agree. I know him. He likes to know things way too much to say no.

He’s searching my eyes. I can see the conflict in them. His face keeps hardening and softening, weighing his options. I don’t look away from him. Eye contact is the main key to winning a negotiation. I am going to win. I can see it in his eyes now. He’s giving up.

He sighs heavily. “I now understand why you hate it so much when I’m right. Fine! We’ll practice on each other. Do I have to go first?” he whines slightly.

I smile. “Yep. I went first last time. Now it’s your turn.”

“Are we going to keep this routine? Are you going to have to go first next time?”

“I’m not sure what we are going to be doing that requires taking turns after this. Also, seeing as one of us might be dead today.” I shrug slightly, trying to come off as nonchalant.

“Don’t say that,” he snaps at me.

“It’s true. I think we both have a fifty-fifty chance right about now. I think it really depends on you though. You’re going to have to be the one that stops taking my health and start giving it back and you’re the one that’s going to have to heal from my explosion. It all depends on how much you don’t want either of us die.” I stand up and get myself some coffee. Today is going to be a long day.

“We’re not going to die. Neither of us. I won’t kill you, and you won’t kill me.” He seems to be trying to convince himself. I’ll let him talk himself up. If he’s so confident then maybe neither of us will die. He might actually be able to heal from me. I really hope he can.

“I really hope you’re right,” I say to him and I start getting a bowl of cereal for myself.

He sighs and gets up from the table. He starts getting breakfast for himself. We don’t say anything to each other for the rest of the morning. We really don’t have anything to say. We’re both nervous about what we’re going to do. Is this a smart thing to be doing?