The Many Faces of Tully

I wake up screaming.

I must have been screaming for a while now, because my door is slamming open. At first I think it is Peter, but I blink and see that it is Jace.

He is still wearing his black V-neck but he is in basketball shorts now. His hair is flat against one side of his head and he’s staring at me frantically.

I realize I’m still screaming, but I can’t stop. I’m hysterical. I feel like they’re still gnawing on my limbs so I start squirming and rubbing my hands all over my arms and legs. My sheets are all tangled around my legs and they make me feel like I’m trapped again.

I finally stop screaming and I start kicking my legs furiously, but it doesn’t help. I’m about to reach for them to try to untangle them with my shaky hands, but I see Jace’s steady ones beat me to it. He untangles my sheets swiftly and throws them to the end of my bed.

“Tully. It’s okay. It was just a dream. Calm down,” he says to me. His voice is steady, and strong. I’m shaking and I’m weak.

I realize I’m gasping for air. He grabs my face and forces me to look at him. His hands are firm but soft against my face. “Sh. It’s okay Tully.” He tries to calm me, but I can’t be calmed now. My heart is racing too fast. I’m past the point of no return.

I have to get out of here. I need to get to the practice room. I can’t explode here. Jace is too close. I’ll kill him. I don’t want him to become a nightmare too.

I push his hands off my face as softly as I can manage and then I scramble off my bed. As soon as I’m on my feet I’m running. Some of the guys are standing in the hallway, rubbing their eyes and trying to see what the commotion was. I sprint pass them.

“Tully!” I hear Jace call after me.

Don’t follow me! I shout at him in my head. He doesn’t listen to my thoughts. I can hear his bare feet slapping across the linoleum with mine.

My ears are ringing and my chest is squeezing painfully. I’m not sure if I can make it. The world is already crashing in on me and my feet are faltering. I’m not going to make it.

I stumble and fall to the floor. I barely catch myself but I huddle into the fetal position instantly. This is more painful than any of the other ones. This one is going to be the worst one ever. This is going to be the biggest explosion, and Jace is crouching right next to me.

“Go away,” I try to yell at him, but it comes out as a whimper.

“No,” I barely hear him say. I move my arms from my chest and wrap them around my head instead. “Hold your breath,” I think I hear him say.

I will. I think to him, but more to myself. I’ll hold my breath forever if that’s what it takes to not kill Jace. Please don’t let me kill him.

The world goes silent. I don’t breathe. I hold it, like I did for Peter. I will not fail Jace like I failed Peter. I will hold my breath this time.

I feel Jace’s hand lay across the center of my back, in between my shoulder blades. His hand gets really hot. My lungs are burning, but I will not breathe. I will pass out before I will breathe. His hand is almost uncomfortably hot on my back.

Then something miraculous happens.

My heart beats.

I feel the steady pulsing of my heart in my chest again. I take my hands from my head and look up at Jace, still not breathing. He’s looking at me anxiously. His hand is still on my back, but it’s not hot anymore.

I breathe out.

Nothing happens.

Nothing happens! I didn’t explode! Jace is still right next to me. He’s not ten feet away, broken on the floor. He is still warm, steady and whole, right next to me. His gray eyes still have life in them and his face still has emotion. His heart is still beating, just like mine.

“Tully?” he asks me.

I start laughing and crying at the same time. I’m in shock. I don’t believe it. I throw my arms around Jace’s neck. I can’t help myself. He did it. He stopped me from exploding.

“How?” I practically sob into his ear. I pull away from him. “How did you know that would work? How did you know to do that?” I’m looking at him in a whole new way. Maybe I can be with him without being afraid of hurting him. I didn’t hurt him when I was morphed, and he can stop me from exploding.

“I had a hunch.” He shrugs. “I didn’t know if it would work or not. I just knew that all of your vital signs say that your dead, but I know you’re not. So I thought maybe I could heal you. Turns out I was right.” He smiles smugly. I throw my arms around his neck again, and he hugs me back.

I’m still crying from relief. I’m normally crying from guilt right about now. These tears feel infinitely different. And infinitely better. My chest feels lighter than it ever has. It’s filling with gratitude for Jace.

“Thank you,” I sniffle into his neck.

He chuckles slightly. “My pleasure.”

Someone clears their throat. I look up from Jace’s shoulder and Nash is standing there. He is in a white tank top and his boxer briefs. Jace and I stop hugging and he turns and faces Nash.

“You guys might want to take it to a room. I have to walk down this hallway multiple times a day,” Nash’s teases us.

“Shut up Nash,” Jace and I say together. I sniffle and try to wipe away the evidence of my crying. Jace must think I’m such a crybaby, which I am.

“Whoa. You guys are saying the same thing at the same time now? This is more serious than I thought. Damn. And I really thought I had a chance with you Tuls.” He shakes his head in mock disappointment. “Of course the guy who glows green gets the girl, not the super cool, great looking, indestructible guy,” he sighs.

“Who says you’re super cool?” I ask him.

Jace stands up and then holds out his hands for me. I grab them and let him pull me up. I never realized how sturdy his hands are. I mean, I know he’s sturdy, I think it all the time, but I’ve never felt it really. I was too busy crying the both times I’ve been up against his chest. Thinking back on it now, his shoulders and his chest were both strong. His shoulder takes the saying, 'a shoulder to cry on' literally. It’s like his body is meant to bring ease to people and comfort them. When we’re all done here he should become a doctor or a therapist or something.

“Oh come on, you know how cool I am. But you’d rather be with the nerd,” he scoffs.

“I’m not with the nerd. Oh sorry, I mean I’m not with Jace,” I say defensively.

“Yeah-huh. Sure. Let me know when you two come out.” He turns and walks back towards the rooms. Jace and I just watch him leave. I finally realize that I’m in my pajamas, which consists of a small camisole and short shorts.

I clear my throat awkwardly and face Jace, who turns to face me too. “Um, thanks again. A lot. I guess it’s not too drastic to say you saved my life, because I think you technically did. And your life for that matter.”

“When will you realize that you won’t kill me? Just let me go up against you and you can stop worrying about killing me.” He looks at me sadly.

“I will kill you. And I would have definitely that time. I don’t know how or why, but I knew that one was stronger. I still can’t believe you stopped it.” I shake my head slightly.

“Whatever Tully. I will survive it. Maybe I should start bugging you every day and you’ll cave faster,” he speculates.

“I’ll just stop hanging out with you then,” I threaten him.

“Uh-huh,” he says. “Well, I’m pretty tired. I’ve been saving lives tonight and being cried on, so I’m pretty worn,” he teases me, stretching his arms above his head.

“Maybe if you didn’t perform miracles than you wouldn’t be cried on. Something to consider.” I push him playfully.

“I never thought of it that way. Maybe I enjoy being cried on. I mean, it’s not every day a pretty girl wearing hardly any clothes throws herself at me. I’d say tonight was a good night.” He nods his head slightly.

I shake mine. “Whatever. I’m feeling really exposed now that you’ve said that. So I’m going to go into the privacy of my room. Not that that stopped you, seeing as you barged in unannounced.” I start walking and he copies.

“Hey, I thought you were being murdered or something. What were you dreaming about anyways? If you don’t mind me asking, that is,” he tacks on.

“Now that you asked, yeah, I do mind,” I say to him. He laughs. “I’m wearing far too little clothing at the moment to want to stay out here and tell you all the gory details of my dream.”

“Tomorrow then. Or later today actually.” We reach our rooms then. He waits by his door until I get to mine. “Goodnight Tully,” he says to me.

“Goodnight,” I smile slightly. He opens his door and walks in. I copy him.