The Lord Ruler: Rise of the Cheat Potion Maker #3

As we entered the large manor of polished stone and other material, following Lilaca, the daughter of the harpy chief, my eyes began to wander, soaking in the design. The interior kept to the gothic theme. Tiled floors, chandeliers above, harpy etchings in the walls at precise intervals.

We were taken to an office all the way at the back. A harpy, sprawled across a couch, eating what appeared to be an assortment of nuts, berries, and bite-sized unknown meats looked up at us. She looked like Lilaca, but in her late thirties. A servant polished her talons.

As if that level of unprofessionalism wasn’t enough, she was dressed in a robe, while probably comfortable, it was a very light red. If one really focused and squinted, they could probably see through it. Listen, I love relaxing half-naked as much as anyone, but this took not having any fucks to give to a new level.

She didn’t acknowledge our entrance until her daughter cleared her throat.

“Mother, what in Wanda’s hell are you doing? This isn’t a procreation meeting. You’re always like this!” Lilaca snapped. Cheetara meowed in agreement.

The chief gave us a lazy gaze. “Ah, the humans have arrived. You may sit anywhere or stand, I care not.” She glanced at her daughter. “What’s a procreation meeting?”

Lilaca, blushing heavily with both embarrassment and fury, turned to us. “I’m so sorry. This is one of her… lazy days. She overeats when she’s stressed out.”

She raised her voice, reprehension potent. “It’s a miracle she hasn’t blown up like a giant, breaking her couch.”

The harpy chief yawned. “So, humans, you’re looking to pass through onto the roads. Too bad. No passing through until the bandits leave or we kill them.”

“How long will this take?” I asked, not worried.

“Ideally, in five more seconds,” the chief said, “but the bandits are being crafty. Some may be using invisible cloaks.”

I looked at Wolverine, then grinned. The wolf tilted his head, tail wagging.

“Seems like a job for my best buddy here,” I said while petting him.

“It is too dangerous… but not for magicians such as yourselves. If you’re willing to risk getting shot with an arrow for us, then consider you and your friends honored guests of our village.”

The chief sat up. “I’d love to hunt them myself, alas, they’re using enchanted flight-striker arrows. They don’t pierce, but cause an explosion that will injure their targets. It is a ploy to lure me out into the open. We’re unable to contact the capital for help. Not that we’re expecting much from the humans. If not for Queen Cerial, I doubt any other race would be tolerated in Merridon.”

“The Lord Ruler doesn’t mind other races,” Iris defended. The chief raised an eyebrow. “He’s still a jerk, make no mistake, but a practical jerk nonetheless.”

“Wanda’s tailfeathers… Never mind that. Lilaca, how did you end up interacting with these people?” the chief asked as she finally sat up, dismissing her attendants with a gesture.

“Oh, that’s right, they saved my life,” Lilaca said, which gained her a blank stare from her mother.

The chief yawned again. “Isn’t that something you should, you know, mention first?” She nailed her daughter in the head with one of the sofa’s small pillows.

“Ow,” Lilaca said. “I was getting to it. We just didn’t expect to walk in on your meeting with you dressed like this. Where are your chiefs’ robes, you slutfeather?”

“There is no need for such formality when operations are slow. Mostly slow,” the chief said, waving off her daughter’s words. She looked at us. “The only thing I cannot do on duty is get drunk. Sadly. I could use some of the hard dwarven stuff.”

“Keep Chenzu away from her,” Ronica murmured. Lucas stifled a laugh.

“Mother! Show some manners already, and put on less-troubling clothes.” Lilaca scoffed. She looked at us apologetically, before turning back to the chief. “We’ll meet you in the counsel room.”

“We have a counsel room?” the chief asked as she laid back down. “Never mind, we don’t have time for formalities. Everyone, seats now. I shall introduce myself, our way.”

“Mother, don’t, that’s inappropriate,” Lilaca whined. “You can’t do that, we have male guests.”

“A what guests?” the chief asked and, judging by her mischievous smile, I finally realized she had way too much fun flustering her poor daughter.

While I could’ve watched this exchange go on, I could practically sense Lucas’s hope of seeing how she introduced herself the harpy way. I was a teenager once.

No, I wasn’t also hoping—no curiosity whatsoever. Milia was not currently giving me the side eye, having knowledge of the harpy greeting. We had to get moving or risk losing hours trying to find the disciples a path around the roadways the harpies currently blocked. Well, what was the rush? Making gold required patience, right? Plus, I needed to build a larger surplus quickly just in case I decided to hire more people. There were farm and garden upgrades to purchase, after all.

I cleared my throat. “Look, as funny as this is, we’re actually short on time. Wolverine and I will go look for the bandits, assuming you’ll get a guard to show us the way. In the meantime, my betrothed has a proposal that may interest you.”

The chief’s eyes lit up as she gestured at one of her door guards. That harpy saluted, wing to the air, then bowed. “You sound like a merchant,” the chief deduced. “I will hear out your wife.” She frowned. “We seriously need trade again. What’s your feather? I mean service.”

“We run a potion shop,” I said. “I’m a potion maker. I’ll let Milia explain everything we sell.”

“I’m Kimika, by the way,” the harpy chief said, sitting up again. Her robe sleeves fell several inches past her hands. Lilaca frowned at her playful mother.

“I’ll leave it to you,” I told Milia, kissing her before I started toward the door, Wolverine at my side. “Cheetara, would you like to watch over the others for me?”

Cheetara leapt onto Milia’s shoulder, meowing in a dutiful way.

“Is it okay if I come along?” Lucas asked.

Remembering our first bandit debacle, I figured he had enough experience and waved him along. That was a joke. This would be a training moment.

“If you’re volunteering for high intensity training so soon, then come along,” I said. “Twerp, please stay back with—”

She saluted me with a bow. “Of course I wouldn’t be cruel enough to leave Milia behind with Iris.”

The white-haired elf glared at the twerp. “Are you trying to turn us into a comedy duo, as well?”

Lilaca and Kimika were bickering again, so they didn’t catch Iris’s quip.

“Harmony, you too,” I said. “I can see the words coming from your mouth.”

I wondered if I could find a way to give the apprentices some high intensity image training, a Dragon Ball Z-style meditation. Label it HIIT. Why? Because it sounded cool.

Placing training development programs to a corner of my mind, I focused on keeping up with the guard. She led us out a back gate and toward the magnificent mega tree. The autumn leaves brought back memories of home and childhood. Like when my big sister and I went trick-or-treating and she smacked me in the back of the head for stealing five of her Snickers bars. We bickered until Pops finally snapped at us. He lectured us on the importance of sharing and enjoying times like these. He reminded us of Mom’s deployment overseas as a Navy doctor, or physician as they called it.

“This is where I’ll stop,” the guard said as we made it halfway to the tree. “I can feel the bandits targeting harpies again. We try to tell the idiots to stop being stubborn and land, hide out, but they won’t listen.”

“They won’t attack us, right?” Harmony asked with a look that seemed to be regretting her decision to come along.

“Of course not, we’re not idiots,” the guard scoffed. “These bandits are not going to come out in the open and in a group like this. They’re attacking from afar because they know of the zap. Yes, the zap.” She tilted her head, smiling. “Good luck!”

She flew back into the city without another word.

I shook my head. “The F? Let’s go. Wolverine, see if you can sniff out anyone that’s not a harpy and is shooting at them from afar. Shooting arrows.”

Wolverine barked, tail wagging. He took off and we followed him, ready to kick some ass. I pushed mana through my newest ring, summoning the rock golem.

[Ring of Force Fields. Item rank: S. Item quality: Extraordinary. Twice per day, you may briefly generate a powerful shield capable of blocking up to King-realm strikes and magic. This ring cannot be overcharged. You may summon one rock golem to defend you once per day.]

The golem was certainly something I’d seen in books or fantasy anime numerous times. Humanoid-shape, body made of rocks and boulders, though its arms were oddly defined human-like arms. Glowing red eyes looked at me, awaiting orders.

“I’m going to call you Mr. Thing,” I said. “No, no one would remember those terrible movies. I’m calling you Onix.”

“Onix… that’s not a bad name, which is rare for you,” Harmony said.

That poor girl would never know.

“Onix, make sure the wolf ahead, Wolverine, doesn’t get pelted with arrows.”

The golem nodded or at least made a movement that I assumed was a nod, before taking off in a surprising burst of speed. It moved so fast, it was a blur.

We followed my wolf for ten minutes straight, down a grassy path, eventually leading to the entrance of this portion of the woods. The attack was sudden. The golem moved lightning fast to turn its arms into a large shield, blocking hundreds of arrows.

[Quest. Kill the Pain Bow bandits in the forest. They made a move on your wolf. Now make them regret it. Accept? Yes or no.]

I selected yes after seeing the golem suddenly explode into pebbly bits. My reasoning was simple. Fuck charging in there like an idiot.

“Wolverine, let’s get the hell out of here,” I said. We had the information for the harpies to handle this problem themselves. They’d be doing this quest for me.

Wolverine damn near teleported to my side as we took off running. Sensing an arrow sailing toward Harmony, I activated the force field ring, blocking it. It was as if a truck smashed into me, and I cursed loudly as my finger felt like it broke. A nasty shockwave! Were these super arrows or just magicians being creative with bows? Why were the harpies on the tree purposely being targets? They couldn’t be that idiotic. They had to be protecting the tree, right? Could there be something within they seriously didn’t want stolen by the bandits? So many questions flooded my mind.

“You know what, now’s a good time to test this out,” I said as I tossed a potion of steam blast into the woods. Hearing the yells of agony and curses made me recall the description of my newest creation.

[Potion of Steam Blast. Type: Blight. Item grade: S. Item quality: Superior. Effect: Toss the potion and watch a large area get coated in a hot steam explosion. It’s not fatal, but they sure will be smelling quite… herby afterward. It is very difficult for targets to see through this steam. You probably won’t be better off, which is why the grade will lose 2 points.]

“So let’s make it a rule to never walk into danger without first getting all of the details,” Harmony said. “The harpies made it seem like they were a trivial issue, but they’re clearly not ordinary bandits.”

I tossed another potion of steam blast toward the woods, but an arrow intercepted it. Abruptly, a cloaked woman manifested from nothing, armed with a dagger, and stabbed right for my throat. She met thin air as I sidestepped then knocked her out with just an elbow. I glared down at the unconscious figure.

Where did you learn that move, someone would ask. My wife taught me that. Milia didn’t turn me into a super soldier or martial arts master, but she drilled in physical skills that stuck. Skills that I could use without thinking.

“Excellent, we’ve got a hostage… well, a source of information,” Lucas said.

I picked the bandit woman up, slinging her over my shoulder like a sack and we continued running. As I hoped, the arrows stopped, which meant this person was important to them or at least someone in that unseen group of bandits.

When we were safely back into the village, we dashed to the closest group of guards, a cluster of six.

After explaining what happened, powerful electric aura erupted around them, and the guard captain let out a rallying song.

Yes, a note that almost made me wonder if she was a siren, not a harpy. We were about to pass the unconscious bandit woman off when three more cloaked bandits, all men, manifested right in front of the gate.

Or rather, they undid their invisibility right in time to take a nice group Dragon Magic Burst. The harpy guards worked themselves into a frenzy.

“We know of their location! Now is the time to strike, my sisters,” the harpy guard captain yelled.

Soon, they were off, and the flashes of lightning and the sound of battle began. Not all left due to obligations to guard the village.

In fact, an annoyed harpy guard took away the hostage. We were left to wait for the battle to end.

“Let’s get to the others…” My voice faded when I saw a man, who looked just like the hostage, dash toward us, wand aimed, spell book to his side.

Wolverine knocked him out with a single Cosmic Sunlight Flash at half power.

“High offense, low defense,” I muttered to myself and checked to see if the guy was alive. Harpy guards remaining in the town apprehended him. They would be joining the group in the village’s jail. Whatever the harpies did to them was not my problem.

I winced at my still-sore finger, debating to waste a health potion on it or not. “Lucas, could you go fetch Iris for me, please?”

“Sure,” Lucas said and sped off, the glint in his eyes a bit too excited. Wolverine gave me a questioning whine.

“I’m fine, buddy,” I said, petting him. Unlike the sunlight wolf, Cheetara probably didn’t have enough restraint in her soul and would’ve leveled the entire forest.

“I’d really like their bow skills for ourselves.”

I turned to Harmony.

“Wh… what?” she asked.

“How good are you at using a bow?”

The teenager scowled. “I haven’t touched a bow since Father took me hunting when I was thirteen. Why do you ask?”

[Quest completed. Good work, team! You’ve done an excellent job helping out with this quest. So much so that you will be rewarded with… wait for it… Another quest!]

[The Sippy, the Pain Bow Bandit King has slipped away from the harpy thunderstorm and is headed this way to rescue Deathblade, the Bandit Princess. He has killed five harpies and will be sentenced to death. Kill him.]

The moment a short man with a long beard emerged through the gate, a harpy guard zapped him, killing the bandit king instantly before I had the chance to process anything.

[Quest completed. Who’s got spirit, who who, who’s got spirit, not you! For being quite the team player, completing your own quest, you received 1 spirit coin. Reward updated… You received 10,000 undeserved spirit coins.]

Someone seriously needed to reboot the computer, goddess, or whatever it was responsible for these messages. Otherwise, the feeling of smugness at it not having its way would threaten to overblow my ego.

[Number of spirit coins: 145,100. Number of heavenly spirit coins: 10.]

“You know, Harmony, Wolverine, life is good,” I said. “If we, as noncombatants, don’t have to get involved with shit like this…”

I paused, seeing Iris and Lucas approach. “Let’s get the village chief to command her guards to let us through. It’s time to move on. Also, pay close attention to your new bow teacher.”

Harmony pouted.