The Lies that Made Us

Brynn

Brynn watched Amelia look over the turquoise water of the sea, her hair blowing free from its braid in the strong wind. She turned fully towards the sea and closed her eyes, her nostrils flaring as he was sure she was taking in the scent of the salt water. Brynn could not take his eyes off of her. The afternoon fall sun shone through the clouds overhead, illuminating her golden-brown hair, making it appear red.

Her face rose slightly, basking in the sun, and Brynn moved forward, the pull of her too great. She was so beautiful. Her long eyelashes touched her soft cheek, her slender nose barely curved upwards at the end. His eyes fixated on her full lips, wanting to take her into his arms and kiss those lips until they collapsed on the shore where he could love her fully.

All those years apart, he had dreamed of moments like this. He had stood on this very shore and imagined Amelia with him, just as she was, her face to the sun, the breeze through her hair.

“The air is so clean here, nothing like the port towns back home,” said Amelia as she opened her eyes.

“We are far enough away from the city to leave those things behind. I often came out here to think.”

Amelia turned to him. “What did you spend your time thinking about?”

“You, always you,” he answered truthfully. “And my father after I learned he died. I came out here and spoke to you both, believing you were gone as well, Amelia. I knew I would never really live again, but what life I did have, I devoted to you, trying to live as one worthy of your love.”

“I thought of you every day in that tower. I tried to think about what I had done to make you want to abandon me. I thought you knew me better than anyone, would know I could never do what they say. For months I expected you to show up at any time. I begged my goddess. I begged you. I think it was when I finally passed out from the beatings that I gave up. It was then that I let Gareth have his way. My hope left me that day.”

“Amelia,” said Brynn, his voice hoarse as regret filled him. “If I could…”

I don’t want your apologies or reassurances, Brynn. I know now you were tricked. I wish I could forget those years, forget the pain, the despair, but they will never leave me. Pushing them deep inside has only made it worse. I thought voicing it might help.”

He moved to her side and took her hand. “What can I do? How can I help you?”

“Bear with me. Forgive me when my mood is low and I seem far away. I think a small part of me will always be trapped in that tower… with him.”

“I wish I could set all of you free, take your pain away,” said Brynn. “I would do anything to change the past.”

“But you cannot, so promise me you will embrace the future. Promise me you will become who you have to be for Evalmore, for the world, and for yourself. Promise me you will do it even if it means having to let me go.”

“I would promise you almost anything, Amelia, but that is the one thing I cannot do. Nothing in this world is worth losing you. I will find a way to help save Evalmore and the world, but only if I am with you in the end. Unless you wish otherwise.”

She turned and looked at him, her eyes staring into his. “I wish I were strong enough to lie to you, Brynn. I should tell you I don’t want you so you could start moving on, but I cannot do it. I love you too much to be able to hide it. No matter what happens, I will always love you.”

He kissed her again and again. Not letting her go even as the water came in and lapped around their feet, not even as the sun started to approach the water’s surface as it set. He needed to somehow show her there was no way he was ever letting her go. He had abandoned her once, and it would never happen again. He was tied to her in some way that intertwined their souls. To be without her would kill him somehow, leave him as a shell devoid of meaningful life.

“Do not give up on us,” he finally said as she laid her head against his chest. “Please, do not think for one minute you and I will not spend the rest of our lives together. We will find a way. I promise.”

Any discussions about what to do about Achilia and Gareth were put on hold as the day of the festival approached. The city was decorated with garlands of nuts, leaves, vines, and bows. Wreaths with corn and limbs were put on doors as gourds were carved out to make room for candles. It was the largest festival in Erialla, and Brynn was anxious to experience it with Amelia.

Brynn dressed with care, putting on a gray guardian tunic and black pants he received from the order. Over it, he threw on a dark gray cloak with a large moon embroidered on the back. Tying back his dark hair that had grown past his chin, he glanced at himself in the mirror, finding that his dark eyes appeared tired and he looked older since his last festival. Much had happened, and while some of it Brynn wished he could erase from his mind, he could not find fault in where he was at the moment, in a safe place with the person he loved more than anything in the world.

Tucking back one piece of hair that would not stay in his tie behind his ear, Brynn walked from the room, ready to meet Amelia at the bottom of the stairs. She was already there standing with Prince Tristeen and Lady Lyneth, but she might as well have been alone for Brynn. Someone had found her a deep blue gown, probably the queen or Melwa. It looked like it was made for her, the bodice fitting perfectly over her still too slim waist, making it look fuller. The neckline was low enough he could see it made her a little self-conscious as she kept putting her hand up to it, tugging once as she spotted him. The full skirt of the dress just brushed her slippers. Around her arms, she held a lighter blue wrap that would help with the chilly air against the half sleeves she wore.

Brynn walked down to her and took the hand that kept fidgeting at her neckline. “You look beautiful, Amelia.” He kissed her hand gently as she smiled at him.

“I hardly know how to feel. This feels like some dream, being dressed so about to go to a festival with you by my side. I am afraid I will wake up back in my tower, wearing my same black dress, surrounded by walls.”

“You are truly free, Amelia, and never will I let anything like it happen to you again,” said Brynn, not able to keep from staring at her.

“My mother and father are already outside, and Melwa walked with her husband and King Ignacious to the town center. If you are ready, we could all walk together,” suggested Tristeen.

Brynn held out his arm to Amelia, and she took it. They walked with Tristeen and Lynthen past the palace gates, catching up with King Osian and Queen Stefana. As they entered the city, Brynn watched Amelia. She looked around the streets with such wonder in her eyes that Brynn thought she looked like the young woman he had left behind, hopeful for the future and sure of herself. For a moment, he could catch a glimpse of what she would be now had Gareth not killed their father and held Amelia in the tower.

“How do you like our festival, my lady?” asked Tristeen as he smiled at Amelia.

“It is beyond anything I could dream. It is almost too much. In my darkest times, I sometimes imagined some fairyland full of lights and music. I could never have thought of anything as wonderful as this.”

Brynn could feel her hand shake slightly on his arm. He covered it with his free hand. “It will all be fine, Amelia. I will not leave you, and if at any time you wish to leave, let me know.”

“I will be fine, Brynn. I just need a moment or two to adjust. There are so many people around.”

“You are safe here, Amelia. The palace guards all around, and you need only talk to those you are comfortable with.” They walked up to the center of town, where a group of musicians sat on one side with the whole square cleared for dancing. “It is a tradition that the royal family and friends open the dancing, but if you do not wish to do it, we can stand over to the side.”

“I always loved dancing,” said Amelia as she looked at the musicians. “It has been so long.”

Before Brynn could comment, a woman walked over. “Prince Brynnwynn, it seems an age since I saw you. Have you been away?”

Brynn studied the woman, trying to place her. He finally realized where he knew her as shame and embarrassment made his face heat up. “Lady Brocket.” Brynn gave a formal bow while holding tightly to Amelia.

“So formal,” she laughed as she moved closer. “It is very good to see you. Perhaps we might dance tonight or even have a drink or two together.”

“I am afraid that will not be possible, my lady. As you can see, I already have a partner for the evening.”

Lady Brocket looked Amelia up and down before turning back to Brynn. “I am sure she won’t mind sharing. She is a pretty little thing and should have no issues finding another to entertain her while you spend time with me.” She laughed and spoke quietly. “This young thing can have no idea of how to divert you as I can.”

He heard Amelia make a noise, and he couldn’t tell if it was anger or amusement. “Lady Brocket, I think you are mistaken. The prince is an old friend of mine, and I have always been able to divert him in ways he has found very amusing,” said Amelia with a smug grin. “Now, if you will excuse us, I believe we were about to dance. Isn’t that so, your highness.”

Brynn raised an eyebrow before smiling at her. “Yes, my lady. I plan to dance with you as much as you desire and then not leave your side the rest of the evening. As you can see, Lady Brocket, I will be much too busy to attend to you tonight. It is nice seeing you.”

“Have a pleasant evening, my lady,” said Amelia as she pulled Brynn towards the dancing space. “

They kept close to the edge as the king and queen took the center. Brynn saw Melwa finish a glass of wine before taking Prince Rayan’s hand and bringing him close to Brynn and Amelia. The music started, and Brynn let the rest of the world disappear as he focused on Amelia. She gave him a tentative smile as they started moving.

“Amelia, I am so sorry about that. I sometimes forget how utterly awful I acted for a time after I heard of my father’s death and your supposed demise. I can’t imagine how badly you must think of me.”

“I don’t think badly of you at all. You thought me dead, and you had to go on with your life. I cannot fault you for finding pleasure where you could, not with what I was doing at the time.”

“Do not excuse my bad behavior or compare our situations at all. What I had when I thought you died was no life. I stumbled through each day, just trying to find a way to chase away the pain. There was no relief. I pushed and pushed, trying to destroy everything about me.”

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I am sorry, Brynn. I’m sorry you had to go through it all.”

“There are so many things I wish I could have done differently. If Melwa had not finally pushed me to do better, I am not sure how it would have ended up,” said Brynn.

“She has been a good friend to you.”

Brynn nodded. “Despite her cutting words and quick judgments, she is a good woman.”

“I know,” said Amelia. “I am glad you had her and Prince Tristeen in your life. I am glad you still have them. You are much loved here.”

“You were all alone,” said Brynn.

“I had Owain. He came to see me as much as he could.”

“Your father still loves you, Amelia, your brother too. I heard the despair in his voice, thinking of you in danger. You will see.”

“I don’t want to think about the tower tonight,” said Amelia as she leaned against him. “I want to enjoy this night. I want to feel the cool breeze, hear the music, smell the food, and see all the people happy to be alive.” She put her face close to his. “I want to feel your arms around me.”

Brynn whispered her name before he bent down and kissed her lips gently. He held her close as they both danced in silence, content to just be together. They did have to break once the music ended, Amelia being willing taken to the dance floor by Tristeen as Brynn danced with Lyneth. Amelia proved popular at the festival, finding her confidence after she danced with both King Osian and King Ignacious.

Brynn stood on the edge of the space drinking a bit of mead as he watched Amelia smile at prince Rayan as they danced.

“Your lady seems to be happy tonight,” said Melwa as she walked over with a glass of wine. Her eyes looked glassy, and she stumbled slightly as she stopped by his side.

“Have you eaten anything, Mel?” asked Brynn as he put his mug aside. “Perhaps, I should get you something.”

“You are worse than Rayan. I don’t need you or him taking care of me.” She practically growled before taking another drink. “I see you are not hiding your devotion for Amelia.”

“Why should I?” asked Brynn. “I have always been very open with my feelings for her. I love her, Mel, and I don’t care who knows it.”

“You are setting yourself up for heartache, you and her.”

“We don’t need to go over this again. Leave it alone,” said Brynn.

“You should listen to me.” She glanced over her shoulder before turning. “If you won’t listen, then I am sure Lady Amelia will. She is much too sensible not to see the truth.”

“Mell, don’t you dare,” said Brynn, but it was too late.

Melwa finished her wine and walked up to Amelia as she stepped off the dancing space with Rayan. Brynn hurried after her but was cut off by some passing people.

“Amelia, you do know what you are doing is stupid. It will only hurt you in the long run,” Brynn heard Melwa say as he pushed through the crowd.

“What do you mean, your highness?”

“Mel, I think it might be time to take you back to the palace,” said Rayan.

Melwa ignored him. “You cannot keep living this fantasy with Brynn. Why carry on as you do, knowing he will have to leave you behind? You cannot be his wife, and you know it.”

“Mel,” said Rayan in warning, “This is none of your concern.”

“None of my concern? I had to watch Brynn suffer when he thought Amelia was dead. He almost killed himself in grief with his hard living. Nothing is worth what he did, certainly not some childhood crush.”

“Princess Melwa, I beg you to stop speaking,” said Amelia sounding annoyed. “You do not know what you are talking about.”

Brynn had just reached them when Melwa went on. “He took half the women in this village to bed. He even tried to seduce me. Maybe I should have let him. I could have told my father, and then I would be married to him, keeping him safe from the disaster you will lead him to.”

“That’s enough, Melwa,” said Brynn as everyone around them had stopped talking.

“What, your lady can’t handle the truth? Have you not told her all? Perhaps, it will spur her to do the right thing and leave you alone. You wanted your freedom, my lady. You have it. Now you should go far away and leave the rest of us to see to the world’s future. You can take your reservations for Achilia with you.”

Amelia at first looked like she would argue back with Melwa, telling her off, but she spotted all the people staring at them who had started to whisper. Brynn heard someone say Amelia’s name and mention his father. He had no idea who knew her history there, but it made Amelia tense up before looking at Brynn and running.

“Amelia,” called Brynn, watching her go. He turned to Melwa. “Why? Why say all those things to her? Do you feel better now?” Before she could respond, Brynn took off through the crowd, desperate to catch Amelia.