The Lies that Made Us

Amelia

As they rowed closer to the ship, Brynn must have noticed Amelia shivering in her thin gown. He took off his cloak and placed it over her shoulders. Owain did the same for the other woman in the boat as Amelia turned to look at her.

The woman grinned. “I suppose we haven’t been introduced, though I feel like I already know you. I am Princess Melwa Bevin formally of Erialla and now of Tildia.”

Amelia took a moment to examine the princess. She was very lovely with a tall curvy form. Her eyes were shrewd but not altogether unkind. “I take it you met Brynn during his time in Erialla.”

“I stayed in the palace and trained with Mel and her brother. She happened to be stopping in our kingdom back in the harbor village when you were attacked. She offered to let us use her ship to come here to rescue you and the prince.”

“Thank you for your assistance, your highness,” said Amelia.

“I couldn’t let Brynn go without my help. Guardians always assist other Guardians. I am sure it is the same with Light Bearers.”

“I thought it was at one time,” responded Amelia quietly before she looked at the young prince. “Prince Aayden, we are going to take you home. I know this has been awful for you.”

The prince nodded with wide eyes. “I couldn’t understand what they wanted. They just kept me in a bedroom and never let me leave. No one would speak to me.”

“You were used to draw others into danger,” said Brynn as he rowed. “It is not your fault, and I am sorry you were used in such a way. It will all be over soon. Mel, if you need to head to your kingdom, you can drop us off back in our harbor village. We can find a ship there.”

“I can send my husband a note to meet me in Erialla after we take the prince home. It is almost time for the harvest moon. I suppose you have forgotten.”

“It hasn’t been on my mind,” said Brynn.

“Besides,” said Melwa. “I am not sure it is wise you go to your kingdom at this moment. There is no telling what your brother will say about us all or how quickly news will spread.”

“Perhaps, I should have stayed with Gareth,” said Amelia. “If he would have kept his word and let you all go, I might have done it for a time.”

“No,” said Brynn. “I would have not have left without you.”

“But now you can’t even go home, Brynn, and Owain; what about your family?”

“My family is protected by your father, my lady. I don’t know what happened back at the palace, but no matter what, I doubt the king would go so far as to attack his Highest Lord’s household.”

“Especially since he’s your father, Lady Amelia,” said Melwa. “I am not sure what is going on, but it seems that King Gareth was desperate to have you.”

“He has a few misguided reasons.” Amelia looked down. “I’m afraid they have led to ruin and heartache for many.”

“We can talk about all this once you have rested, Amelia,” said Brynn.

“Of course,” said Melwa. “We have a coupe days of voyaging at least, and we can all get to know each other.”

After climbing onto the ship, Melwa made sure everyone had some sort of accommodations for the evening below deck.

“Prince Aayden, there is a room just down the stairs you can use. I will come and make sure you have everything you need. One of my guards will be by your door all night should you require anything,” said Melwa.

“Thank you,” said the prince quietly.

“If any of you are hungry, some food can be arranged. There should be some wine and water in all the rooms. Brynn, Lady Amelia might be the most comfortable in the room you were given earlier, though I doubt you spent much time in it. Once you see she is settled, you can room with Owain. There are two beds there. After he takes his medicine, he will be too lost in sleep to know you are even there.”

“Medicine?” asked Amelia. “Owain, are you unwell?”

“It is only sickness from the movement of the ship, my lady. I am not a very good sailor, it seems.”

“If someone has my bag, I have some medicine that I can make from the herbs there that should help without making you continuously drowsy,” said Amelia. “It wouldn’t take too long to make.”

“Do not trouble yourself tonight, my lady. I can take what the princess has and rest as long as you don’t need me.”

“Get the sleep you need, Owain. Tomorrow we will start finding a way to get you to your family.” She took Owain’s hand. He raised hers and kissed the back of it.

“If you need anything, wake me up.”

Amelia nodded as he let go of her hand. She watched him walk down the stairs before turning to Brynn. “We should get you set,” said Brynn. “Would you like any food before you rest?”

Amelia shook her head. “I am not sure how much rest I will get with all that has happened.”

“You should try,” said Brynn. “Come along.” He took her hand, and Amelia went with him down the stairs to a small room that held only a bed and a table with two chairs.

She sat down on the bed, and he sat beside her. They said nothing for several minutes before Brynn turned to her. “He didn’t hurt you or—anything else, did he?”

She thought about how to answer. Her arms were a little sore where he had grabbed her, and she subconsciously ran her tongue over her bottom lip as she thought of Gareth kissing her. “I am not injured. He mostly spoke with me about his plans and what he has done.” She felt tears come to her eyes, thinking of Gareth arranging for his father’s death and of her being fully betrayed by her master.

Brynn turned towards her and took her hand. “We don’t have to talk about it tonight. To tell the truth, I am not sure I am ready to hear it all. I just want to be grateful that you are safe, here with me.”

She squeezed his hand. “You thought I was dead all these years.” Brynn looked up at her. “Gareth told me he wrote you to say I would be put to death.”

It took Brynn a moment to answer. “That was the worst day of my life when I received that letter. Not only was my father dead, but I thought I had lost you as well. I couldn’t take it. It was some time before I was able to function as I should.”

“That is why you didn’t come to help me. You thought it was too late.”

“I should never have believed Gareth. I should have come immediately back home. I could have saved you years of torment. There is no way I could apologize or make enough amends to make it better.”

“But you never stopped loving me. Gareth said he intercepted all our letters. You didn’t forget me.”

He reached up and cupped her cheek. “I could never forget you. Even when I thought you were gone forever, I loved you. I would have spent the rest of my life loving no one else.”

He leaned forward slowly, and her eyes fluttered close in anticipation of his kiss. She felt like every noise had quieted, and even the ship had stopped rocking as time stood still. As his lips brushed hers, she jumped back, thinking of Gareth and all she had done with him.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean-“

Amelia interrupted him. “It’s not you, Brynn. It’s me. You don’t know all I have done. When you do, you will hate me.”

“I think I already know what you are going to say. I have much to confess as well,” said Brynn.

“What do you mean?”

“When you were injured by the shadow warrior, Owain brought me your bag so I could use some of your medicines. As I took one out, the book in the bag must have fallen to the floor. When I went to pick it up later, I saw you had written my name in it. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I read what you wrote to me on that page and every other page in the book.”

Amelia leaned back. “You read every letter I wrote to you?”

He nodded. “I know you are probably angry, but I could not stop myself. Reading about all you went through made me realize just how wrong I did you, Amelia. It showed me just how ashamed of myself I should be.”

“I never meant for you to read those. I was angry when I wrote those words.” She looked up at him. “I never once hated you, not really.”

“You were too good to me throughout those letters. I said I love you, promise to return to you to make you my wife, but I left you to an awful fate.” Brynn closed his eyes. “I can’t believe what my brother did to you all those years.”

“Or what I allowed him to do. You must think me very wicked, tainted even.”

Brynn grabbed her hand. “No. None of it was your fault. I have seen and felt your scars, Amelia. He beat you until you gave him what he wanted. What else could you have done?”

“I should have let him kill me before I lie with him. I was weak and gave into the pain and even loneliness. There were times I thought I craved his touch; I was so alone. I can’t lie to you and say I didn’t find some pleasure in some of our times together. I hated myself for it. I still do.”

“You shouldn’t. You were doing what you had to do to survive. My brother abused you and forced you to do as he bid. I am disgusted and angry, but not at you.” He shook his head. “I am the one who is really wicked, Amelia. I don’t even deserve to be speaking to you now.”

“You didn’t know I was alive, Brynn. What happened to me is not your fault.”

“I disagree with you, but that is not what I am talking about.”

“Tell me, then,” said Amelia.

“When I thought you had died, I lost my mind for a long while. I can barely remember the year after. I did little but drink and find women to bed. All I wanted was some relief from the pain of losing you, but I found there was no drink strong enough or woman so desirable to erase my loss. Looking back, I think something in me knew you were not really gone. My magic constantly searched for you, and I should have listened to it. Instead, I was unfaithful to you. I betrayed our love, and I can never take it back.”

Amelia was quiet as she studied him. He looked as though he was in agony, and a few tears fell down his cheeks. She did not hate him or even really blame him, but she could not deny there was pain and jealousy. “Was Princess Melwa one of the women you turned to?”

“Of course not,” said Brynn. “I never wanted her, not like that. I don’t think I wanted anyone. I was doing whatever I could to ruin my life, I think. I can’t explain it, but I wanted everyone who cared about me to turn their backs on me. I wanted to suffer because of what happened to you.”

Perhaps a few weeks ago, she would have been happy to hear that he had suffered. Maybe she would have pushed him away and told him to never speak with her again, but so much had changed. He had never meant to abandon her, and she knew her love for him was as strong as it was three years ago.

She took his other hand. “You have suffered enough. We both have. Your brother has done awful things, things that you don’t even know yet, and if we continue to punish ourselves for his choices, he continues to have control over our lives. I cannot live another day under his hand, and I refuse to do it.” She looked down until she caught his eyes, and he looked at her. “I love you, Brynn. I never stopped, no matter what I wrote in that book. When I finished every letter saying I was always yours, I meant it.”

His lips were on hers so quickly she barely had time to react. His hands went under the cloak she wore and wrapped around her as hers went to his hair. It was such a mixture of relief and passion that flowed through her. It made her feel light-headed. Kissing him put all memories or visions of Gareth out of her head. She thought she had longed for Gareth’s touch all those years in the tower, but she realized she didn’t understand real longing until now.

As Brynn kissed her and ran his hands over her bare sides, she had never wanted anything more than to be with him. She lay back on the bed, bringing him down over her as she broke their kiss and moved to kiss under his jaw. He groaned before looking down at her.

“You are too good for me, Amelia. We shouldn’t do this.”

“Do you want me, Brynn?”

“More than anything in this world. Want is not the right word. It is closer to need, but it is not fair to you.”

“Let me decide what is fair to me. I need you, and I am not afraid to say it. If you wish to leave because of your own desires, then do it, but know that it would go against my wishes.”

He smiled at her as he brushed some hair that had fallen away from her braid off her face. “You are even bolder than you used to be.”

“I have been forced to waste too much time these past years. I will not lose out on something wonderful because of fear or past mistakes. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, and if all I am guaranteed is tonight, then I want to spend it with you.”

He kissed her gently. “I love you. I think I love you more now than I ever have.”

She raised up and kissed him again. “Then do not run away from this, please.”

He kissed her as he worked to take his cloak off of her. She helped him before pulling his shirt over his head. His hands went to her bare sides, and she shuddered, feeling his soft touch. She became overwhelmed in the best way as one of his hands came up to untie her dress from around her neck. She had loved him for so long and missed him beyond explanation. So much of her life had felt wrong the past three years or more, and to be in his arms as he loved her made her feel more complete than she could remember.

He pulled her dress down, following the fabric along her neck and chest with kisses as she ran her hands along his back. One of her hands went to the back of his head as he took her nipple into his mouth. She moaned in pleasure as his tongue ran across it before releasing her and going back to kiss her neck. “You are so beautiful, Amelia. I thought of you every day we were apart, but my imagination could never conjure up just how lovely you are.”

“I missed you so much, Brynn,” she whispered before kissing below his ear. “I thought all I wanted was my freedom, but it would have been empty without you.”

Her hands went to the ties of his pants as his hands slid under her skirt. Two of his fingers grazed her center, and she whispered his name as her hands fell away from him. He touched her more firmly, stroking her as she threw her head back, feeling her arousal grow to the point she felt a release coming. She almost expected him to stop, but he did not. He continued to use his fingers to circle her center until she cried out, coming to her peak.

He kissed her as he continued to gently swirl his finger around her, drawing out her pleasure as she shuddered. When she found some of her senses again, she finished untying his pants and slid them off with his help. Her hand went to him to find him hard as she stroked his length. He made a noise of satisfaction as he closed his eyes.

There was no more talking as their passion grew beyond words. All the years between them and all the lies that tore them apart colliding into one moment as they truly found each other again. He positioned himself over her, gazing down on her for a few moments. She wondered what he was waiting for before he leaned down and kissed her gently as he entered her slowly.

She gasped at the feeling of him inside of her. He whispered her name as he loved her before burying his head into her neck. She felt his tongue brush against her skin, causing her to arch up in pleasure. She wished she could make their time together last longer than it did, but they had been apart too long. When she came to the height of her pleasure calling out his name, he soon joined her.

He buried himself deep within her, finding his release. He stayed over her for several minutes, kissing her as his hand gently stroked her cheek. Though he said no words, she knew the depths of his love for her. It was more than she could have ever imagined, and for the moment, the two of them were all that mattered, and they were enough.

When he finally rolled off of her and took her into his arms, she settled into his chest. As she drifted off to sleep, all she could think was she hoped they had many more times like this one as she wasn’t sure she could ever let him go.