The Impact of You

Jase
“Stacia, quit!” I chuckle, unable to stop myself, because it turns out after about ten beers, the tight feeling in my chest becomes
numb. And my equally drunk ex-girlfriend is a distraction I can’t seem to turn down. She’s on the couch next to me, trying to tickle
me. I forgot how grabby she gets after a few drinks.
Stacia removes her hands from under my shirt and bites her lip. The practiced look of seduction on her face is familiar and
comforting. It would be so easy to fall back into things with her, even if it’s not what I really want. But my brain is tired of trying to
work through what I had with Avery, and how I feel now. I wish I could un-see those images and go back to not knowing, but
that’s not possible. At first I was pissed at Stacia for thrusting that girl’s phone in my face and showing me my innocent, sweet
Avery being anything but sweet, or innocent. But after I got done cursing and punched the wall a couple of times, I knew Stacia
wasn’t the one I was mad at.
The party around us has died down significantly, and there are just a few of us left – the guys that live here and their hookups. I
know Stacia is waiting patiently tonight to see if she’ll have a shot with me, and honestly, I don’t know. I haven’t even decided
yet. Which probably means my dick will decide for me later. And since he’s easily fooled by Stacia, I have a feeling I know what’ll
happen.
Avery and I were never official, and after the way her past was thrown into my face like that... I don’t owe her anything. She left
the other day without saying anything else, though what could she say after I saw numerous pictures of her with another guy’s
junk in her mouth? God, I hate that this side of her even existed. The urge to hit something again spikes inside me, just as Stacia
leans closer.
“Take me upstairs,” she whispers.
I push the images from my head and curl my fingers around Stacia’s, needing something warm and familiar to grasp onto.
“Come on.”
* * *
I lie in bed, waiting for Stacia to return from the bathroom, wondering what the fuck I’m doing. When she appears in the doorway
and saunters toward my bed, I curse the lamp on my dresser currently lighting the room. This would be easier if I didn’t have to
look at her, because my mind won’t stop comparing her to Avery. Avery’s soft auburn hair, those wide green eyes.

When Stacia straddles my lap, I let my eyes slip closed. And when she leans down to kiss me, I fight to turn off my brain. Yet it’s
impossible not to notice that her mouth doesn’t fit against mine like Avery’s, that she smells different, that she wears too much
perfume.
“Wait.” I break the kiss and Stacia opens her eyes. “Go turn off the lights.”
She frowns. “You never used to want the lights off.”
“I know, but I do now.”
She bites her cheek, her mind working, but she dutifully climbs from my lap and crosses the room to switch off the lamp. Once
the room is lit by just the dim moonlight, she saunters back toward me, removing her shirt and bra before she reaches the bed.
The familiarity of her should comfort me, but my mind is reeling.
She rubs a manicured hand against my uninterested cock. “Just relax, Jase. Let me take care of this tonight.”
I don’t want her. But would it be so bad to do this? To let her try and make me forget the girl I really wanted? Stacia knows we
aren’t together. We’ve been down this road before. It won’t change anything between us. Stacia’s fingers fumble with my belt
buckle and I close my eyes again, fighting to make myself relax.