FULL NOVELXO Chapter 93
Chapter 93
“What!” I shriek, scrambling to my knees and knocking the fruit and bread out of my lap.
“Shh!” Jackson hisses, turning back towards me and holding out a hand, looking at me like I’m crazy. “Don’t be an idiot, Ari! If we’re waiting for dawn to move into the ravine, others. are too! And they will come for us! Just….be quiet, all right!?”
“Jackson!” I whisper, full of rage, ignoring his words and getting to my feet, striding towards him, “you are not leaving me here!”
He huffs a little laugh, clearly implying that I couldn’t stop him if I tried. “Yeah, Ari, I am.”
“You are not!” I put my hands on his chest and shove, angry.
“I’ll be back!” he says, not budging an inch. “I promise, all right? I’m not abandoning you – I’ll be back at dawn, I’ll help you. I just…”
And I go still as I see his head turn again, back the way we came, back to where…
Well, back to where he imagines she is.
His mate, alone.
His mate, frightened in the wilderness, needing his help.
And then even though I assured him that she’s safe, that there’s nothing wrong, he can’t leave it.
“Jackson,” I beg, wrapping my fists in his shirt and staring up at him. “Please, please don’t do this.”
“I have to, Ari,” he says through his teeth, frustrated with me. “She’s my
mate.”
“She’s fine!” I insist again, tightening my fists, trying to will him to believe me.
“I know that you believe that,” Jackson snaps, shaking his head. “But Ari, I smelled her, I could taste her fear on the air – I swear it, something happened to her.”
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“And she got through it!” I insist. “Didn’t it go away!? Didn’t the fear like…dissipate!?”
“Yeah,” he concedes, “but what if that’s because she got hurt? What if she’s unconscious?” He scowls, stepping away from me roughly, suddenly angry. “I never should have let you drag me away from there. I should have stayed
“You should not have stayed!” I snap, getting pissed in my own right now, because Jackson he’s being foolish. “She’s fine! She doesn’t need you to go searching for her she needs you to stay here, so you can be ready to cross at first light!”
“How the fuck do you know that, Ari!?” Jackson growls, stepping towards me, looming over me. And I realize, quite suddenly, that this is a fight a real fight. And if I’m not careful, I could make this Alpha snap, that it could get violent
But I dismiss the thought, instantly. Because my mate – he won’t hurt me. His b*dy, his biology won’t let him hurt me.
Except…well, except if he doesn’t know who I am.
I push it all away, stepping into his space now, unable to help it. “I know that she’s safe the way I’ve always known, Jacks,” I reply, my voice low with my own anger in response to his. “Have I ever betrayed you? Have you ever not been able to trust me? Have
“I probably shouldn’t have been trusting you this entire time!” Jackson suddenly exclaims, throwing up his hands in the air. “I don’t know why I do! I mean, is this your magical gift, Clark!? Making me act like a god damn idiot!? Making me constantly, consistently turn away from my mate and just believe you that one day you’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on!?”
“You trust me because you know I’m trustworthy!” I snap, putting my hands on my hips. “What was all of that about friendship earlier!? About not abandoning me because I’m the only one who’s been nice to you?”
“And what is that about, Clark?” Jackson says, his voice a little more dangerous now as he steps closer to me, moving so close that his chest bounces against mine, making me fall back a step. I regain my footing fast, scowling at him, suddenly livid that he’d bully me like
use his larger form to intimidate him.
that
“What are you talking about?” I growl.
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Is that why you’re nice to me?” he asks, and I can hear the wound in his voice now. “Because you realize that that that’s the only way you’re getting through this? You found the loneliest guy in the Academy and gave him the scraps of your attention, and for that I do what carry you through the Examination? Is that he pauses now, his voice catching. “is that seriously what’s happening? Have you have you been leading me on, telling me that you’ll tell me about my mate someday to….because you know that it would wrap me around your finger?”
I stare up into his face in the darkness, completely shocked, appalled at the idea.
And my heart absolutely breaks for him, that he could consider this a possibility. Again, my mind turns to what his world must have been like who raised him, that he could imagine
me so manipulative?
–
“Jackson,” I breathe, shaking my head, “I would never do that to you. You’re you’re my friend –
His MATE! My wolf howls, grieving within me, realizing alongside me that we’re wounding him further.
Because whatever world he did grow up in, we’re doing the same outh goes dry as I
We are lying to him, every day, because it easier for us. Tears spring to my eyes and my mouth goes dry as I stare up at him, not knowing what to do.
Jackson – I have been betraying him. And he’s been so tough, so sturdy, that he he just took it, uncomplaining.
“I’m going after her,” Jackson growls down into my face, ignoring my emotions. “I have to see, Clark. I have to make sure that there’s no trace of her in the forest – I need to know that she’s okay.”
“Jackson,” I murmur, stepping forward once again, wrapping my hands in his shirt,
desperate. “Jackson, she’s not out there. I swear on everything that she’s not please, please. just stay here.”
“Ari,” he whispers, have livid and half desperate, “how can you ask me not to? How can you try to keep me away from her!?”
“I’m not!” I gasp, the tears starting to roll down my cheeks. “I swear, Jackson, she’s safe!
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She’s not in any danger! You can’t leave you can’t spend the rest of the night prowling around the forest looking for her! It’s pointless!”
“How do you know that!?” he shouts, losing his temper now and shoving me away from him, his voice ringing out against the rocks as he forgets our situation completely, as he loses himself to his desperate anger, his need to know.
“Because!” I shout in response, stumbling backwards before finding my balance, my hands. fisted at my sides. “Because she’s right here, Jacks!”
“What!?” he breathes, staring at me and then looking frantically around our little plateau like she’s going to suddenly appear or something. “What are you talking about, Ari –”
“It’s me!” I shout, the words stumbling from my mouth.
My wolf howls in relief, her noise long and slow and agonized, like letting out a long–held breath that has been aching in her lungs.
“What?” Jackson says, staring at me like I’m crazy, like I’m an idiot.
“It’s me, Jacks!” I repeat, stepping forward and glaring at him, tossing out a hand between us like it’s obvious. “When you’re smelling your mate? You’re smelling me. You smelled my fear- that’s why you came running to me!”
“What?” he repeats, his face screwing up in concern and confusion, his head tilting as he tries to put it all together. “Are you two like….tied? Does her magic…does she feel your fear? Are you like….twins?”
Oh my god, my wolf says, standing rigid in my soul. He really…he really just doesn’t get it.