Chapter 30
(Chapter song ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay)
BASTIAN
"Sammy?” I crawl to my hands and knees and quietly move to her side. I reach up and hook a finger on her hair as I lean to see her face. “Sam? Tell me what’s going on?”
She doesn’t say or do anything except vigorously scribble black in one of her sketch books. I turn my attention to what she’s drawing. I’m not sure what it is, it's just a black blob with two red blobs in the center.
The moonlight shines on her silky, disheveled hair. Her hands are black with the charcoal from the charcoal stick she's drawing with. There’s charcoal dust on the floor and her legs. She’s been doing this for a while.
I crawl around her leg and book and sit on my calves in front of her. “Baby doll? What is it? What’s happening?” I lean on my hand with her book between them as I try to read something in her face. All she does is quietly growl and stare angrily at the paper. Her hand moves back and forth as she colors around the red eyes.
I could try and break her concentration, but I’m afraid to touch her. I lean back on my calves and look up at the moon shining down on us. I place my hands on my hips and look back down at Sammy. Her eyes cast a pink glow on the floor and I lean back down on my hands.
"Sammy. Please stop." I whisper as I lower myself more to see her.
She doesn't look up, but instead, she spins the pad around so it's right side up for me.
I stare into the black of the picture and the red glowing eyes. She added more detail and they look like the eyes of the wolf she's been dreaming about. She smacks the drawing with the charcoal that she’s holding like a child.
I look at it then back at her. “What? Sammy? Did… Did you have another…”
She growls loud. She takes the stick and smacks it a few more times.
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t understand…”
She growls loud, lowers herself to the book. She aggressively starts to draw circles around the eyes. It's fast and crazy.
“Ok… Ok, Sammy… You dreamt about the wolf again…” I hold a hand up to her.
She practically barks at me then draws the circles harder and faster.
I just…I don’t get…
I watch the paper begin to tear and I can only think of one thing to do. I reach out and lay my hand on her drawing hand. Her skins feels like it’s on fire. She also scratched at the bandages on that arm so much, there’s tears in it and fresh blood.
As soon as my hand touches her skin, she stops. Her skin slowly starts to cool and the heat is replaced with the electric tingle I’ve gotten used to feeling when I touch her.
“Sammy?” I say low and softly.
She stays frozen in the spot for what felt like a minute, then raises her head slowly. Her canines have receded and the pink light of her eyes starts to fade. I connect with her eyes and my heart fucking breaks as her face turns from anger to pain.
"Help me." She whispers. Her eyes well and she gives me a desperate look.
“Baby…” I reach out to cup her cheek, but her eyes roll into the back of her head and she falls over on her side as she passes out cold.
I quickly reach over and check her pulse. Thankfully, it’s nice and steady.
I pick up the book and inspect the picture. My eyes fall to the sleeping beauty on the floor. I look back at the two red eyes she was circling.
“What did you want me to see, Baby doll?” I say to myself and her as I try to figure out what went on here. My wolf was no help. He’s just sitting and listening. I tear out the page, stuff it in the hem of my jeans, then lean down to her. I wipe the hair from her face and gaze at the moonlit shine on her breathtaking features. I try to clean off the black charcoal, then decide it’s better to just take her upstairs.
I place one arm under her neck and one under her knees. I scoop up my beautiful, mysterious artist and carry her to my room. I kick the door shut, then walk her to my bed. As I lay her down, I go over the whole experience.
As terrifying as it was, I feel she shouldn’t be alone. Something happened here tonight and I'm not letting her out of my sight for a second.
I place the paper in my bedside table and get a wet cloth from the bathroom. I better hang onto that. I think I should see if I can’t piece what she wanted to tell me with Alexi's help. I really feel strongly that she was trying to show me something.
Her vitals remain calm and stable as I clean the charcoal off her hands. I wash and change her wounds. Thankfully, the beast never got to her skin, but it managed to break some stitches. After I stitched her up again, I placed her in the middle of my bed. She rolled herself onto her stomach and cuddled herself which made the corner of my lip lift. I sat on the bed beside her and moved a lock of hair out of her eyes.
Tonight, she stays with me.
She needs me right now and I won’t feel right putting her back in her room on the other side of the house.
She's so effortlessly beautiful. It's hard to see her going through so much. But there was a moment tonight that I felt I took her pain away. When I touched her, I felt like I saved her from the monster within her. There was something between us for a brief moment that pushed her beast down. A secret connection that neither of know is there.
I do know one thing. She begged me to help and I will die trying to do just that.
****
SAMMY
I screamed for him to help me. I screamed so loud my throat hurt. I didn’t know where I was. All I knew was that Bastian was somewhere far away, draped in pink light and I was terrified. I felt the beast around me. I was aware that it was loose and I yelled for him to run before it hurt him, but he didn't. He sat with me and the beast didn't hurt him either.
I heard his words and heard his questions to me. I don’t have the answers. I just want whatever this thing is to go away.
I cried in the dark I was in. I begged it to let me go. It just ignored me like I didn’t exist, then I felt it.
A simple touch.
It felt like I was being thrown a lifeline. I felt myself being pulled passed the beast out of the black and back into the light. When I started to feel normal, I couldn’t remember what or why that happened. I felt there was an urgency to do…something… But I’m drawing a blank. It was peaceful when everything went black. Everything shutdown and it was complete relief. My entire life’s pain seemed to dissolve in that moment.
Now?... I silently lay on a pillow blinking in amazement as I stare at the face of the most gorgeous creature God ever created. I’m also crawling with humiliation because when I woke up, I quickly realized I wasn’t in my room.
I can’t help but appreciate the sight laying beside me. The fact that I apparently had another episode and he took me to his bed, says so much for his heart. He could end this at any time, yet he just keeps fighting with me.
I tuck my arms under me as I smile. I watch him sleep on his stomach with his arms tucked under his pillow. The morning sun plays with his perfect face that I can see from behind his bicep. His tanned skin almost glitters. But what gets me the most is his touch. There’s something in it that tells me I’m going to be ok. That I have to trust him.
I don’t know how long laid there staring like a weirdo at him. I chewed my thumbnail and considered telling him I’m awake, but I felt like I’d be breaking a priceless painting.
Then I see the corner of his lip tick up. His eye follows and I see a tiny bit of hazel in the slit on his eyelid. I watch it search me out and lock with my eyes. I give a little half smile with my nail in my lips as my cheeks heat and that embarrassed feeling filled me again.
"Good morning." He mumbles quietly behind his arm.
"Good morning." I tuck my arms under my pillow like him and hide my face.
I don’t know what the protocol is for this. How are you supposed to feel waking up in a guys bed after being possessed by a monster. Should I say thanks and leave? Should I not move at all?
“Don’t hide from me.” He raises his head and props it up on his hand.
I roll my eye above my arm and I know my cheeks are a thousand shades of red.
He softly chuckles as he moves and pets my hair. “It’s ok. I promise. I was completely respectful and all I wanted to do was keep an eye on you.”
I mirror his posture. “I walked again…didn’t I?” I ask as my brows stitch up.
“I think so, but no real damage was done. You just pulled some stitches and fixed them.” His voice is deep from sleep and I get this warm feeling inside me as it hits my ears.
I look down at my bandaged arm. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head on his hand. “Don’t be, Sammy. None of this is your fault.”
I heave a sigh and sit up. I pull up my knees and turn my head to him. “I don’t know if it’s my fault or not, Bastian. I hate that you have to be involved. I’m a mental mess and you don’t deserve…”
“Hey…” He sits up and turns to face me. “I told you. Don’t. I’m doing this because it’s right. All of it. Dealing with this thing… and being with you. You’re not getting rid of me, Sam. So stop trying.” He studies my eyes and I lower my head.
"How do you feel?" He tucks my hair behind my ear.
"Ok, I guess." I shrug. “I don’t remember a lot.” I mumble and meet his eyes.
He stabs his hair and leans to my lips. “You scared me. I don’t like being scared.” He smirks.
“Sorry.” I tilt my head as my face softens.
He places his fingertips under my chin and kisses me. His soft lips tell me that he accepts my apology and that he cares for me. His tongue joins with mine and I feel that control of my emotions again. That feeling of peace. Even now. My embarrassment shrinks and I feel normal again.
He breaks the kiss and I blink at him as he pulls back. “Where was I?"
"The ballroom." He rubs my cheek with his thumb. “Your eyes were pink. It showed itself to me.”
“I couldn’t tell the difference in anything. I didn’t know if it was dream or not. I felt it in my body, I just didn’t know what it was doing. Was it all of it?” I ask.
"Just canines and claws. It was your body still, but it looked like it was running the show as if it shifted. The weird thing was, I wasn’t threatened by it, so I think I still felt you.” He pinches his brow as he tries to sort this out for me.
"I called to you, but you couldn't hear me. I could see you, but you didn't see me. You must have done something because I felt myself being pulled out, then woke up here." I laid my head back down.
"I grabbed your wrist to stop you from drawing. When I did, it retreated and you passed out. So, I brought you here and cleaned you up." He takes my hand and I feel his tingles again.
“I was drawing?” I question.
He nods. “Yeah. This.”
He pulls a paper from his bedside.
I take it and look at the destroyed charcoal image that I’ve seen so many times in my head. “Great. Now, I’m drawing it in my sleep.” I frown as I hand it back. That’s never happened before.