Chapter 28
(Chapter song ‘Cumbersome’ by Save Mary Three, ‘I Get To Love You' by Ruelle)
JAYSON
After days of searching, Luke came back empty handed. Rick, the office guy, came back with a general description of almost every male here. We had nothing. The person who did it may not have even been a recruit here, but somehow infiltrated the camp and posed as one of us.
Cass repaired the fencing and we had no choice, but to continue as business as usual.
Some of the kids were still clearly apprehensive about going anywhere near the woods on the property. I don’t blame them for not wanting to be surprised again.
Even as I reassured them that it wouldn’t happen again, I held a fear in the back of my mind that says I didn’t want Sarah or any of them in the trees again.
Cass had a team go out and install a major back up power supply to the fences that can only be controlled from my office. This way, if anyone does decide to try and cut the wires to the fence, the backup kicks in at ten times the normal voltage, giving the asshole a nice jolt.
We also installed more trips for the perimeter alarms and we’re clearing out all the spots that are hard to see. It's a major job, but these kids have become my life and I'll be damned if anyone hurts them again.
My report was very general in nature. I purposely left it vague to not arouse any suspicion that there would be any outside reason the rogues would attack the camp.
I thought I was in the clear enough, but apparently, I wasn't.
We were all sparring for morning practice. I was fighting with Deacon when he stood up and motioned to the path that leads to the front courtyard of the parking lot. "Hey, look."
I stand up straight and turn to the direction he was nodding to.
Alpha Fredericks was walking down the path to the field. He’s dressed in a travel uniform and looks official. This isn’t a visit.
I turned back to Deacon. "Fuck." I yell to the recruits and team leaders. "ALPHA ON THE FIELD!!"
All the recruits stop what they were doing and turn to watch Fredericks approach me.
He waves the kids down as he gets closer to us.
"Alpha Duke. Sorry to interrupt. Is there somewhere where we can talk in private?" He stood rigid, eyes me up and down and adjusts the file under his arm.
I wipe my brow with my shirt and motion to Cass to join me. "Welcome, Alpha Fredericks. Yes, we can go to my office." I look over the field. "Kale!"
He put his hands on his hips.
"Take over practice! I shouldn't be long!" He nods in response and I lead the Alpha to my office with Cass right behind me.
I wave him in and offer him a seat. Cass leans on the edge of the conference table with his arms folded. I walk around and sink myself into my chair behind my desk.
"How can I help you, Alpha?" I lean on my desk and clasp my hands. I’m starting to sweat because I’m sure I know why he’s here.
He sits back and crosses one leg over the other, resting his file on his knee. "Well, you can start by filling me in on what really happened here a few days ago."
My eyes flick to Cass and back to the Alpha. "I'm not entirely sure what you mean. I thought my report was pretty clear."
He smirks. "So, you really have no idea why those rogues would attack a camp full of kids at one of the highest security bases in the Alliance?"
I shake my head, press my lips into a bit of frown and raise my brows. "Nope. We investigated what we could and found nothing. I even sent out a scout and they seemed to have disappeared for now."
He nods slowly. "So, you don't think this has anything to do with the rogue army headed to Black Lake? Your home town?"
My jaw goes slack. I see Cass’ head drop in the corner of my eye and he slowly shakes it. "You know."
"Yes, Alpha. I know. From what we know, you have less than two weeks. I also know, Black Lake doesn't have a leg to stand on. So, the fact that you, as Alpha, haven't called us yet, tells me, you're building your own army. Endangering these kids by making them a target." He leans on the arms of his chair. "You're in a heap of trouble."
"Sir. I assure you. It's not like that. My father requested my help, yes. And yes, I did ask the kids, but it was strictly voluntary. No one is being forced to fight here. They're helping a friend." I plead with him.
He stands tall in front of me. "Well, now the rogues know where you are. Where these kids are. They aren't safe anymore. We're shutting you down. You have a week to get these kids home."
I rush around my desk with my hands up in surrender. "Sir, please. These kids work damn hard. Yeah, I didn't want this job, but now that I've seen what they can do. Sir, out of ten rogues, they killed six and ran off the other four. They saved a lot of lives. You can't take this away from them. These aren't kids, sir. They're soldiers. Damn good ones, if you ask me. If anyone should leave, it's me. I shouldn't have involved them. I failed them. Failed to protect them. Please, sir. They've worked so hard." I search his face as I try to appeal to him by using the same speech he gave me when I got my orders.
He stood and contemplated my words. "I was hoping you'd say that because from your reports, these soldiers deserve to be here. By 0900 tomorrow, your office is to be cleaned out and you're to report to Falcon Ridge for a disciplinary hearing. You'll be demoted to Beta and you'll report to Alpha Blake for reassignment."
I swallow. "Yes, sir."
"I'm sorry, son." He places his hand on my shoulder. "I know when a man's home is threatened, they do desperate things, but to use Caledon property as your own personal army with minors? We have to draw the line somewhere."
I hang my head and nod.
He straightens up. “Alpha Riker will be reporting to you at 0800. She'll be filling in as Head Alpha until a suitable replacement is made. Get her up to speed before you leave." His gaze switches from me to Cass. "Gentlemen. Have a good day."
He left my office, shutting the door behind him.
I flop against the edge of my desk and jam the heel of my palms into my closed eyes. "Fuck. I knew this would happen." I put my hands on either side of me on the edge of my desk top and look up at the ceiling. I want to scream, but there's no fucking point. I know I fucked up. Fucked up huge. Now, I have to leave. Leave these kids. Leave Sarah.
Cass steps up to me. “Jay…”
I shoot my eyes to the door like a light bulb went off. "Sarah." I pant with concern.
I bolt out of my office with Cass calling to my back.
I run through the dorm hall to the front door and slam it open. I skid to a stop at the edge of the field and scan the heads looking for my blonde beauty. As soon as I see her, I run through the lines of sparring kids.
I'm panting as I stop in front of her. Her eyes widen in surprise. “Jayson?”
I grab her hand and pull her. "Come with me now."
"Jayson, what..." She protests as I drag her to the trees.
Once undercover and out of earshot, I slam her body into me. I hug her so tight, I thought I might crush her. "I'm so sorry. I tried..."
"Jayson. What's going on?" She pushes me back and concern fills her face.
I place my hands on her cheeks and give her a long, deep kiss. I separate and place my head on hers. "Baby, I have to go."
She look at me with confusion. "Go? Where? When will you be back?"
I swallow and drop my hands. I look down and toe at the forest floor as I try to find the words.
"Jayson?" She searches for my eyes.
I raise my head and suck in my bottom lip as my brows cinch up. "Baby. I'm not.”
“You're not what?” She angles her head to me as she tries to understand. It must show on my face that something is really wrong. “What's going on, Jayson? Where are you going?"
I feel my face heat and my eyes sting as I have to do the impossible. I have no choice. It’s not fair to her. "They found out, Sarah. Everything. I've been demoted. They… um..." I look up at the trees and try to stop the tears from coming. What I'm about to tell her will end us now. “I report to Falcon Ridge tomorrow morning. I've been reassigned to the Operations unit.”
Her eyes fill with fear as she studies them. "What does that mean? You sound like I'll never see you again."
I can’t hold it back. I feel a tear well and roll down my cheek. "Because, baby…” I cup her cheek and look at her with all the love I have for her. “You won't." I hitch.
"What do you mean I won't? Jayson? You can't! NO!" Her eyes widen as she shakes her head fast. "You can't leave me here! You can't!! Please, Jayson! Take me with you! Please!!" I grab her as she sobs into my chest. I supported her as her knees weaken and I fight my own breakdown. I huff breaths as I grab at her. I can’t hold her hard enough. I can’t…
"Baby, I'm so sorry. I had to or the unit was going to destroy this place. This camp has been so good for you. I couldn't let them take it from you. Sarah..." I pushed her back and fix her hair. I lean down and look directly into her eyes. "I'm sorry. It was either me or the camp."
She rips my arms off her. "SO, YOU CHOSE THE CAMP?! YOU CHOSE THE CAMP OVER ME?! WE COULD'VE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER AT HOME!!" Tears stream down her face as it turns red with anger. Her heart is so hurt its fucking killing me.
“Sarah. Either way, I would have been reassigned. At least this way, you'll still have something and you'll be away from the attack. I'll know your safe. I won't be here to protect you. Sarah, please. This was the only way." I grab her hand and she rips it away.
"You always think you know what's best for me, but you never ask me how I feel! You made this decision without even thinking about how much it would hurt me! Sean was right. I should've never trusted you!" She cries as she turns on her toes and runs back to the field.
"SARAH!" I yell as I chase her down the path. I stop at the tree line and watch her run to the dorms. Several kids stopped what they were doing and looked my way. I scrub a hand down my face, look up at the sky and head to my office to start packing.
Maybe it’s best that she hates me. It’ll make never seeing her again easier to bear.
****
The next morning, I finish packing up my things.
My office is crowded now that everyone’s heard. The Alphas all stand and watch me place my things in a cardboard box.
I place some files into the box and glance at them. "When Alpha Riker gets here, fill her in. I'm going to be gone. I can't deal with it. Just give her the tour and set her up."
"THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT, JAY!" Luke yells.
I pick up the picture of me and Sarah off my desk. She printed it from her phone and gave it to me as a present so I could always see her beautiful smile.
A hurt smile tugs at the corner of my lip as I run my finger down her image. I felt tears sting my eyes again and I choke them back.
Wren puts a hand on Luke's chest. "Luke, calm it down, Ok."
"No! I won't calm down! We have to lose the best trainer we got and take orders from this Riker chick?! No! It's fucking bullshit!!” His face is twisted in dark anger and fists ball at his sides.
Wren pushes him further. "Look, it's not ideal, but I'm sure this is better for everyone. Right, Jay? Better for everyone?"
I swallow past the giant lump in my throat. “Yeah, sure.” I mutter as I put Sarah's picture in the box. "It's better for everyone." I heave a shaky breath and pick up the box.
"How long until the rogues get here." Deacon asks.
"Less than two weeks." I reply.
Cass scratches his temple. "That doesn't give us long to prepare. We're going to have to up the training."
I shake my head. "It's over, Cass. These kids aren't fighting."
Luke points at me. "Oh, we're fucking fighting. I don't give a shit what that douche says."
"Luke." I gave him a compassionate look. "I appreciate you want to help, but even I'm not going to be there. The Operations unit deals with missions well away from here. For weeks at a time. I've already called my father. He's started evacuation procedures. All we can do right now is get my people away from there as fast as possible."
"Fuck!" Luke steamed across the room and punched one of the walls.
I continue. "Once Black Lake is empty, Caledon will move in and take it over. They're setting up a base there. My guess is it'll be a third security unit. At some point, I'll rebuild, but it won't be here." I put some more things in my box and carry it to the others.
Kale places his hand on my shoulder. "What about Sarah?" His question cut me deep. I look down, trying to keep myself together. "Um..." My breath is shaky as I give him a bit of smile. "Take care of her, Ok. Make sure she stays out of trouble." I bit my lip and take in a deep breath. "Tell her I'll miss her...and that...." My voice starts to crack. "Tell her that I love her." A tear slowly falls out of my eye.
My chin quivers as I look to the floor. Wren rushes to me and wraps her arms around my head, pulling me to her shoulder. I wrap my arms around her and quietly let it go. It was the first time I ever said out loud and I couldn't even say it to her face.
Kale claps my back. "We'll all take good care of her. Don't worry, buddy."
Sounds of "yeah" came from the other Alphas.
I gently push Wren back, sniff and wipe my face. "I need to get this stuff in my car."
Deacon and Cass each pick up a box. "We'll help."
We carried the boxes to my car and put them in the trunk.
I closed it then turn to my friends. I don’t think we ever have been separated outside of our duties. This is permanent. Just another knife to my heart. "I have to report to Falcon Ridge. So, I guess...This is goodbye." I made the rounds of hugs and they all try to hide their pain, but I could feel it.
I turned to my car and was about to get in when my name was called.
"Jayson!"
I look and my brows stitch up. The lump slams in my throat as I see her hurt face in the sunshine.
I stood there staring at her. She’s so fucking beautiful, I can’t stand it. Seeing her big blue eyes and flushed cheeks was about to make start fucking crying again.
She ran at me as fast as she could and jumped into my arms. Her legs wrapped around me and I held the back of her head as she buried her face into my shoulder. She cried hard as she held my neck tight. My heart smashed into a million pieces right in that moment.
I stood there in the parking lot, holding and gently rocking my baby girl. I don't want to let her go, but I have to. It wasn't fair to make her wait for me. I had no idea how long I'd be gone before I ever saw her again.
"Please don't go." She hitches in my neck.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I have to." I lift her head and put my forehead on hers. She wipes the tears from my cheeks and I wipe hers.
"Just know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, OK? Always remember that and when I'm out there looking at the beautiful sunshine, I'll be thinking of your beautiful smile. When you’re lonely, scared or sad, I'll be wrapping my arms around you telling you it'll be OK." I gave her a little smile as my heart broke.
"Promise me, Sarah.” I choke a breath back. “Promise me you'll dance without a care in the world, OK. That you'll eat ice cream. You'll still laugh at stupid jokes. Promise me you'll play basketball at 3 in the morning and you'll do handstands while waiting for the dryer." I laugh through my tears. "Never change who you are. Promise me that. Promise you’ll never stop being the most beautiful woman in the planet.”
"I promise." She chokes.
I grab the back of her head and shove her face into my shoulder again. "Fuck, Sarah. I love you. I love you so fucking much. Please never forget that. No matter what happens. I will always love you."
She lifts her head. "I love you, too." She cries as I press my lips to hers and I kiss her with everything I have.
I broke apart and set her down. I hand her off to Wren, who was also crying softly.
"I… um... I got to go." I ran my hand down the back of Sarah's hair, wiping my face. "Bye."
I get into my car and start the engine. I back out and head for the road.
As I watch Sarah disappear in my rear-view mirror, I lost it.
"FUCK!!"
Smacking my fist on the steering wheel, I’m barely able to see past the tears.
The pain in my chest was incredible. Like someone was taking a serrated knife to it over and over. The more distance I put between me and that little girl, made the pain increase 100-fold. I swear, if I don't die on a mission, my heart is going to kill me.