The Counterfeit Lover (War of Sins Book 3)

Andreas comes in to drop my lunch, but instead of lingering, he gets out, letting the way clear for Michele to come inside, a tablet in his hand.

‘I didn’t realize you missed me so much, Michele,’ I joke as I dig into the food, too famished to mind his reply.

‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ he rolls his eyes. ‘Although I must say, you’re much more agreeable than my brother, so there’s that.’

‘Wow, is that a compliment coming from you?’

He mumbles something and I realize it is the most I can get out of him.

Only after I’m done with my food can I concentrate better, and as I push the tray aside to focus on him, I note he’s already reading my responses.

‘These are good ones,’ he notes, pointing to the questions I’d come up with as things Raf should know about me.

‘Now can you tell me what you’re up to?’

‘Wouldn’t you want to know,’ he drawls, raising his gaze to mine. ‘I have a tiny surprise for you,’ he says, giving me the tablet.

‘What’s this?’ I frown as I note there are video feeds on the screen—all of a room containing a woman inside.

‘Rafaelo’s final test,’ he states before zooming in on one of the screens.

My fingers tighten on the tablet, my eyes widening in horror.

‘That… How is this possible? She’s dead,’ I whisper.

It’s her.

Lucero.

The fucking bane of my existence.

‘When you mentioned her name I had to make some inquiries to ensure you weren’t lying. Well, I dug a bit deeper, and imagine my surprise when I found someone who checked all the boxes.’

‘That’s why you confirmed it with Panchito, isn’t it?’ I blink.

‘Indeed.’

‘But… How… It’s impossible.’

‘I assure you it’s quite possible. I don’t know the specifics and why you both thought she was dead,’ he shrugs. “But this is perfect for me.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Wouldn’t it be the best punishment for Raf to see the two women in his life going head to head?’

‘You… You’re going to make us fight?’ I frown, the notion not so far fetched after I’d seen the memory from the hacienda.

‘Fight? Bah, of course not. Fighting is for those who can’t solve things with their brains,’ he taps his finger to his forehead. ‘I’m merely going to play some mind games with my brother. And it will all culminate with one choice. He will condemn one to death, while saving the other. Isn’t that so Shakespearean?’ He sighs in pleasure.

I freeze.

‘You don’t mean…’ I can barely find my voice to speak. My heart is beating loudly in my chest, goosebumps spreading on the surface of my skin.

All of the sudden, I find myself face to face with my worst nightmare.

‘It’s exactly what I mean. He will kill you with his own hand,’ he smiles. ‘Well, one of you,’ he chuckles. ‘But regardless of whom he’ll choose, he will feel that guilt for the rest of his—rather short—life.’

I shake my head, dropping the tablet as I sink to my knees on the floor. There’s no strength in my body, nothing but despair that emanates from my entire being.

‘I see you’ve already foreseen the outcome,’ he chuckles.

‘How can you be so despicable?’ I ask in a whisper.

‘Despicable? No, no,’ he takes a step closer. “You don’t get to call me despicable, Noelle. Not when it was your dear husband who made me who I am today,’ he states in a grave voice.

‘Yet you won’t tell me what that is,’ I retort sarcastically.

‘Oh, you will find out when the time is right—when everyone will find out.’

He narrows his eyes at me, no doubt relishing my anguish and the fact that I know I’m heading straight for the guillotine.

Because if Lucero is alive… Then I simply stand no chance.

The choice is clear.

I know it. Now Michele knows it.

Everyone knows it.

I was just the replacement, and my job’s already done.

He’s halfway to the door when my voice echoes in the room.

‘You said you value your word,’ I call out.

He turns, narrowing his eyes at me.

Getting up, I straighten my spine, raising my head and looking him square in the eye. I want him to see he doesn’t scare me—nor does the thought of dying.

‘So?’

‘Let’s make a deal,’ I confidently suggest.

‘A deal?’ His brows shoot up. ‘I’m all ears,’ he says smoothly.

‘Let’s make a bet on whom he’s going to choose.’

‘Nice try, Noelle. But we both know whom he’s going to choose, and it’s unlikely to be you,’ he chuckles, and I note a hint of pity in his gaze.

Great, now even the enemy pities me?

‘I’m willing to bet on myself,’ I push my chin up.

My words take him aback, and for a moment he just stares at me.

‘You want to bet on yourself? Even if you know he’s unlikely to pick you?’

‘Yes,’ I nod.

‘Interesting,’ he moves closer, bringing his hand up to stroke his chin. ‘And what would the terms of this deal of yours be?’

‘If I’m right, you let us both go. Me and Raf,’ I clarify, knowing that deals with the devil always have loopholes he can exploit.

‘And if you’re wrong? If he chooses Lucero over you?’

‘If I’m wrong,’ I take a deep breath, swallowing hard. ‘Then we both die.’

‘Let me get what you’re saying, Noelle,’ Michele says, amused. ‘You’re willing to condemn him to death if he doesn’t choose you?’

‘Yes. That is what is exactly what I’m saying.’

There’s a brief pause as he looks me up and down, his eyes zoning in on me as if he’s seeing me for the first time.

He’s shocked by my words. Hell, I am shocked by them. But the moment they were out into the world, I realized they were true.

‘You surprise me. You’re willing to kill him just so he won’t be together with the other woman, isn’t that right?’ he laughs.

I shrug.

‘At least in death he can finally be mine,’ I reply blankly.

He blinks twice before he throws his head back, laughing.

‘You’re funny,’ he comments. ‘Very, very funny.’

‘No, what I am is selfish. But I’m willing to live with that if it gets me what I want.’

His expression is suddenly serious again, his unyielding gaze on mine, probing deeply—almost as if he’s trying to ascertain the veracity of my claim.

‘I’ll give it to you, I didn’t think you’d be this cunning,’ he notes, a hint of admiration in his voice.

It’s in that moment that I get the clearest view at myself—clearer than if I looked into the most polished mirror.

I am wicked. And it’s not because of my past and who I might have murdered or not. Rather, it’s in my immediate reactions, and the fact that I would do anything to keep Raf as mine. This goes beyond my—obviously—failed attempt at killing Lucero.

I want it all, or not at all.

I’ll take him alive or dead—as long as he’s mine.

‘Do we have a deal?’

‘Do we?’ He repeats, the corner of his mouth curling up. ‘Maybe,’ he shrugs. ‘Why don’t we discuss this over dinner?’ He suddenly asks.

‘Dinner?’ I blink in surprise.

‘I’ll tell you what you want to know. And if you still see your dear Rafaelo the same, if you still wish to give your life for him, then you’re my guest.’

I frown at his words, but I nod.

‘Andreas will swing by and help you get ready,’ he says before he swivels, exiting the room.

Just as he said, Andreas drops by to take me to another room, allowing me to shower and change into a new set of clothes. My nostrils flare in pleasure as I take in the smell of cleanliness. After days in that dirty room, this feels like heaven.

Andreas is always in the background, making sure I don’t try to escape, but he lets me take my time as I relax for the first time in forever.

Maybe it’s also because the resolution in my mind feels clearer than ever before.

One would have thought that Lucero’s reappearance would make me spiral further into madness. Instead, it’s the opposite.

My mind is lucid, my resolve strong.

I know exactly what I need to do, and how I need to proceed.

She might be alive now, but it won’t be for much longer.

Closing my eyes, I’m back to that uninhabitable zone in my mind, the one that houses the thick wall separating me from me.

Slowly, fragments fall to the floor, a small crack appearing in the wall.

Not even steel is indestructible.

There’s a slender beam of light coming from the other side, and as I put one foot in front of the other, reaching the wall, I bring one eye to look through the crack.

The light hits my eye, making me squint. Yet as I blink, clarity is restored to my sight, and I’m met with a wondrous sight.

Another eye meets me. The same color, the same movements.

I blink, it blinks.

At that moment, whether I want to or not, I know I’ve already chosen my fate.

One punch. Just one punch and the wall will crumble to the ground.

Taking a deep breath, I bring myself back to the present.

One step at a time.

The crack is enough for now. Already there’s something sinister enveloping me in noxious waves, poisoning my mind and my soul.

Or is it?

For some reason, I think I’ve been poisoned all along. I just disguised it well.

When the time comes, Andreas escorts me to a different part of the building. On the way, I let my gaze roam around my surroundings, taking everything in.

It looks like an abandoned factory in some parts, yet some areas look unusually luxurious to belong in a deserted place.

‘You don’t speak much, do you?’ I ask him, curious if I can get anything out of him before we reach our destination.

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even glance at me.

‘I know you can speak. I’ve heard you before.’

Nothing.

Rolling my eyes at him, I stop trying. It’s clear he has strict orders that he’s respecting rather faithfully.

Leading me to a room in the back, I’m surprised to find it wholly decorated, a big table in the middle with Michele already seated at the end of it.

‘Welcome,’ he stands up, a mock of a bow and a wink as he offers me a seat next to him.

‘I’m impressed,’ I accept, getting myself comfortable. Then again, after days in that hovel, everything is a five star hotel.

A waiter brings our dishes, and I stifle back a laugh at the effort he’d put into this. More than anything, I’m wary about his intention and his sudden change of heart concerning me.

‘I’m still a little confused, why go through all this trouble? I was already your prisoner,’ I mention, my tone skeptical.

‘My brother doesn’t know, does he?’ He ignores my question as he asks.

‘What?’ I frown.

‘You. He doesn’t know you, does he?’

I blink, taken aback by his words.

‘I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,’ I lie.

‘Rafaelo hasn’t changed much since our childhood. Sure, he has his stupid vendetta right now, which admittedly isn’t unwarranted. But his core never changed.’

‘And that is?’

‘He wants everyone to be happy. Hard to achieve, but he’s an idealist. But most of all, he’s a protector, isn’t he?’

‘I still don’t see where you’re going with this, Michele,’ I roll my eyes at him.

‘He likes to take those smaller, and weaker than him under his wing. It’s his weakness. He can’t say no to someone in danger—to someone who cries for help. He has a thing for the underdog and those treated unfairly.’

I school my features to not reveal my feelings on his assessment. Because he is right. And I can wager a guess where he’s going.

‘That’s how you got to him, isn’t it? You made yourself the victim,’ he smirks.

I blink, a twitch in my jaw at the word victim.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I say carefully.

‘You see, I had a very interesting conversation with this Lucero. She was very helpful in answering my questions and clarifying a few things for me.’

‘Why would you trust anything that comes out of her mouth?’ I fire back. ‘This is a competition of sorts, is it not? After all, it’s her or me. Of course she’d say anything to get ahead.’

‘That’s where you’re wrong,’ he leans forward, holding my gaze. ‘I didn’t ask her about Rafaelo. I didn’t even tell her about him. I only asked her about you.’

I swallow uncomfortably.

‘And?’ I ask blithely.

He doesn’t answer. He merely lets his lips widen in a feline smile.

‘We’re more alike than you think, Noelle. We see something we like, and we take it. Regardless of the consequences.’

‘I’m nothing like you,’ I grit out.

‘Sure, keep telling yourself that. But you did propose the bargain. You want him, dead or alive.’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I huff out, put on the spot.

I may be wicked, but I’m not his brand of evil.

‘You’ve never been in love, have you?’ I ask, satisfied when his eyes narrow at me, his hands balling into fists.

‘Love is a foreign notion to me,’ he says carefully—too carefully.

‘Who is she?’ I demand sharply.

‘None of your business,’ he grunts, his fist making contact with the table.

‘So there is someone,’ I smile. ‘Then you should know the feeling very well, Michele. When dying is better than seeing the love disappear from their eyes. When death is the only option before they can be with someone who is not you.’

He’s quiet as he mulls over my words.

‘And you say we’re not alike, Noelle,’ he laughs. ‘Yet there’s also a difference,’ he says.

‘Hm?’ I lean back, observing him.

For all my initial apprehension, there’s a certain brand of freedom in speaking without a filter—in going all out knowing no one is there to judge you.

‘I don’t think that’s love. Call it all you want, but it’s not love.’

‘Really? You just said it’s a foreign notion for you but you’re going to school me in the meaning of love?’

He shrugs.

‘I can understand the concept of love in its abstract form. I’ve seen it in the wild, so to speak,’ his mouth pulls up. ‘There’s always an essential ingredient to it.’

My confusion sparks his amusement as he gives me a full smile.

‘Altruism. Love is love because you put the other first, regardless of your own well-being. Regardless of whether their happiness makes you happy.’

I still, his words hitting me in the chest and making me reel.

He is right. I know he is. Yet I cannot admit it to myself.

‘So when you say love is a foreign notion to you, what you really mean is that altruism is the foreign bit, isn’t it?’

‘Indeed. And I rather think we have that in common.’

‘If it’s not love… Then what is it?’ I ask before I can help myself.

‘Obsession.’

His elbow on the table, he rests his cheek on his hand as he looks at me with pity in his eyes—almost as one would look at an ignorant child.

‘We don’t love, you and I,’ he mentions sadly. ‘We possess. In life, or in death,’ he adds casually. ‘We would rather destroy their lives than see them better off, isn’t that the truth?’

‘I’d never want to see Raf destroyed,’ I shake my head.

‘No, but you wouldn’t mind seeing him dead.’

‘Only if I’m dead too,’ I whisper.

‘How tragic,’ he mocks.

‘All great romances end in tragedy.’

‘And that’s what you want, isn’t it? You want a great romance for the books. But does he want that too?’

He has me cornered with that question.

Instead of answering, I swing my attention to my glass of wine, bringing it to my lips to take a sip.

‘You’re in denial, I can see.’ He leans back, satisfied with his line of interrogation. ‘So far you’ve only told me what you want. You don’t care about what he wants, do you?’

‘You’re suddenly the moral authority?’ I challenge.

‘Not at all. What I am is self-aware. I know myself. I know my limits and I know what I am capable of. But you don’t. Even now,’ he chuckles. ‘You’ve revealed your motive to me, yet you’re still lying to yourself.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Yes, you are. But I guess I can see why you would. You’re well aware that if he knew the real you he’d drop you in a moment.’

‘That’s not true,’ I deny, though my voice trembles.

‘Is it not? Hmm, I wonder,’ he muses out loud, his eyes crinkling around the corners as he regards me.

‘You have your deal, Noelle. But, I’m adding another clause.’

My ears perk up as I swing my gaze to his.

‘Should he choose you, I, of course, will let you both live. For now. But I want it to come from your own lips that you would have had him killed if he chose Lucero.’

‘You…’

‘Got you there, no?’ he chuckles, pouring himself more wine. ‘I’ll let you in on a little secret. You can only pretend for so long. At some point, the love will leave their eyes. And then you have nothing.’

‘You speak as if you’ve already experienced that,’ I narrow my eyes at him.

‘It’s the manner of the beast,’ he muses as he swirls the red liquid in his glass. ‘Even the most skilled magician will slip up at some point. And when the illusion shatters, you’re only left with the shards.’

‘You’re being awfully pessimistic.’

‘You really think he’s going to look at you the same after he knows all that you’ve done?’

I shrug.

‘I’ll live and I’ll see.’

‘If he chooses you.’

‘If he chooses me,’ I agree. ‘Although,’ I wet my lips. ‘If you can add a clause, then I want to add another one too.’

‘Really?’ he drawls in amusement. ‘Do tell.’

‘Lucero,’ her name burns on my tongue, but the intention is clear.

Michele’s eyes sparkle with mischief and he knows exactly what I want.

‘Deal,’ he extends his hand forward.

‘Deal,’ I repeat, brushing my hand against his.

The crack in the wall just became a little bigger.

‘He’s going to be here soon,’ Michele nods at me as he takes me in, grunting his approval. ‘Ready?’

I nod.

‘We’ve gone through everything that will happen, and what you need to know.’

‘It’s fine,’ I wave my hand.

‘I’m still surprised you suggested we use the electric wands,” he shakes his head as he leads me down the corridor.

‘I want to see his reaction,’ I shrug.

‘And that makes you devious, Noelle. I almost feel sorry for my poor brother.’

‘You still haven’t told me why you hate him so much.’

‘You’ll find out at the right time. After all, it’s all about the delivery,’ he winks at me. ‘The time and the place.’

Stopping in front of a door, he unlocks it, motioning me inside. All this time, Andreas has been trailing quietly behind us, no doubt making sure I don’t do anything stupid.

As if a five foot woman stands a chance against two giant men.

Then again, Michele’s words ring true. Why fight when you can win an argument via mind games? That’s the only reason I haven’t made my stay here more difficult than it had to be. After all, I’ll get my wish fulfilled if I behave.

Lucero will be no more.

But the question remains. Will Raf choose me?

At my best moments, I want to believe he would. At my worst? I know he won’t.

I’m gambling away the last bit of sanity I have left.

‘She’s inside, too?’

‘She is. But don’t worry, you won’t get to interact with her just yet. Andreas will make sure you both stay in your lane,’ he says as he takes me inside, pointing towards a chair and strapping me to it.

A while later, Lucero is being let through another entrance, strapped to a chair much like my own.

She gives me a wide and confused look, but the moment she’s tied to the chair, Andreas is quick to put sound mufflers over her ears and a blindfold over her eyes.

Well, Michele might not be that bad after all.

I don’t think I could have focused with her next to me, my instincts primed to end her.

Even now, ugly jealousy churns in my stomach as images flash before my eyes, all of how I’d like to kill her. One more gruesome than the other, I let my imagination loose as I inhale deeply, almost smelling the scent of blood in the air.

Hell, how I’ll enjoy that.

There’s a screen in front of each of our seats. According to Michele, that’s how we’ll see Raf and the choices he will ultimately make.

Choose me.

Please choose me…

Yet I know what I signed up for—the madness that will ensue once everything comes to pass.

Maybe Michele was right. Maybe what I feel for him isn’t love—because at every step of the way it’s been so much more.

To call it an obsession would be to negate everything that happened until now—everything that made me love him the way I do.

It’s not a matter of throwing a dice. It’s not black and white.

What I feel for him borders on insane, and there is no place for altruism. Not when I feel like I begin and end with him—that his death is entwined with mine, just how mine is with his. We don’t exist in separate realms—there’s just us.

It might be odd.

It might be insane.

And I’m sure as hell it’s not normal.

Yet all I know is that we’re tied together, him and I. We’re connected beyond this reality.

Where he goes, I go.

If he dies, I die.

I’m with him or not at all.

The screen flares to life, and I see him.

The ache in my heart becomes more pronounced as I let my greedy eyes roam over his form. And there it is—in the open for everyone to see.

The necklace.

His shirt has a v neckline, revealing his smooth skin and sexy collarbones, but most of all, it shows that damned stone resting against his flesh.

I refuse to let it affect me.

Putting on a strong front, I watch on, curious to see how everything will play out.

Michele had explained that the first phase was meant to rattle him only, making him answer questions about me. For each wrong answer I will get shocked by one of his men.

The prospect of pain is not particularly appealing, so I do hope Raf won’t get any wrong.

But if he does…

Then I want to see the regret on his face. I want him to hurt too.

Another crumb falls to the ground.

The questionnaire starts easy enough, but I’m surprised by his answers.

He counted the freckles on my face?

Somehow that one piece of information makes me blush to my roots, warmth unfurling in my belly.

Raf has an answer to every question, and I become increasingly confident that he might choose me.

‘What’s her greatest fear?’ Michele asks.

‘Having her control stripped from her.’

I blink twice.

‘Wrong,’ Michele announces before I feel the cold metal against my skin, electricity going through my body in rippling waves.

Momentarily, I start convulsing, unable to control myself.

Even as the man steps back, my body still reels from the shock waves.

I breathe sharply, sweat clinging to my forehead from the effort. But most of all, there’s a sadness to realizing he couldn’t get that right.

Blinking away tears, I raise my gaze to the screen, conveying everything I feel through my gaze.

‘How is that not correct?’ Raf demands.

‘It’s simply not,’ Michele replies.

The words I’d written on the piece of paper flash back to me.

Him.

He is my greatest fear. How he will react when he realizes who I am—what I am. Losing him. That would forever destroy me.

‘What is her dream?’ The next question rolls, and I hold my breath, anticipating his answer.

There’s a little back and forth between Raf and Michele before Raf finally answers.

‘To be independent and become a pianist.’

I close my eyes, this time waiting for the shocks to come.

Surely enough, my body starts seizing, the pain double this time. It feels like I’m suffocating. I can barely catch my breath as wave after wave of pain assaults my body.

‘Please stop. Give her pain to me,’ Raf calls out. ‘Let me feel the pain, just…not her.’

God, how I wish those words could warm me. But he got it wrong… How could he get it wrong?

Those are just goals, not dreams.

My biggest dream has always been for him to return my feelings—to hear the word love from his lips. Even after our last conversation, how can he not realize that?

‘What is the one thing she’s most insecure about?’ Michele asks the next question, and the moment Raf fails to answer, panic painted all over his features, I know this is a losing game.

What does he even know?

‘Time is running out, Rafaelo,’ Michele taunts.

‘Her scars,’ Raf states.

Raising my eyes to the camera, I exhale painfully, waiting for the next bout of pain to come.

And as the wands make contact with my damp skin, I feel pure agony.

All the while I want nothing more than to yell at him.

Why?

How?

How could he not know what my deepest insecurity has been from day one? The fact that I’d never measure up to his perfect Lucero. That I’d always be just his second choice.

Michele continues to toy with Raf, making fun of his wrong answers. All the while, I feel dead in my own skin.

He got a lot right, but he got wrong the ones that matter the most.

What does that say about us?

A few more minutes later, a man comes inside to remove Lucero’s blindfold and her mufflers.

She blinks, staring in wonder at the screen in front of her. But as she turns, looking at me, her eyes widen in horror.

She stares at me like one would their worst nightmare. Shaking in her chair, she starts moving wildly against her bounds.

Good thing they left her gag on, otherwise I don’t doubt she’d be screaming my ears off.

Another reason to kill her.

As I take her in, I have to wonder what it was that got Raf’s attention. Sure, she’s pretty with her ashy blonde hair and indigenous features. But she’s not his type.

But then I remember—it wasn’t her looks that made him fall for her. It was her personality—her kind soul.

My lips curl into a derisive smile.

I’d like nothing more than to think of all the ways I could ensure she has a painful death, but right at that moment, Michele asks Raf the most important question.

‘This, or that?’

Raf is stricken as he looks between me and Lucero, almost as if he can’t believe his eyes. The shock quickly wears off, and in its place there is a quiet conviction that settles over his features.

My eyes close on a painful breath.

He’s already made his choice.

‘But first,’ Michele chimes in, his tone too cheerful for my liking. “Why don’t we tell the girls a little story?’

‘What are you talking about?’ Raf asks in a grave tone.

For a moment his gaze is stuck on Lucero. But as he wrenches his eyes away, it’s to finally look at me.

I wish I could yell at him.

Pick me! Pick me!

But it’s a moot point.

I don’t want him to pick me with the threat of death hanging over his head. I want him to come to me of his own volition.

Still, I find it a little odd that he’s not more reactive to the reappearance of Lucero. Or, maybe he’s holding it all inside, not wanting to give Michele any ammunition to use against him.

And giving me false hope.

‘Why, Raf, have you already forgotten? Don’t you think they deserve to truly know the man before them?’

‘Get to the point, Michele,’ Raf rolls his eyes. ‘What do you want me to do?’

‘I want you to tell them, with your own mouth, what happened thirteen years ago. Tell them everything you did. You can choose later… If any will have you back,’ Michele says smugly.

There he goes again with whatever Raf did to him. Why is it that he’s never been clear about it? I tried to get it out of him a couple of times, but he kept shushing me, telling me he would reveal it at the right time. Which, apparently, is now.

‘Really? That’s your plan?’ Raf chuckles.

‘How many people know what happened, Raf? How many people have you told?’

Silence.

‘Right, you haven’t told anyone. Is it because you’re ashamed? Good guy Raf doing something like that, God forbid,’ Michele prattles on and on in a mocking tone.

‘Michele,’ Raf grits his teeth, looking on the verge of exploding.

‘Fine, if you don’t want to, I’ll start,’ Michele continues. ‘But first, I think we all need some background information. So strap in, ladies,’ he pauses for a moment before laughing. ‘Wait, you are already strapped. How silly of me.’

I roll my eyes at his theatrics.

‘Do you remember, Raf? Do you remember what you did to me?”