Chapter 21: Gifts
Whoever is outside knocks once more, jiggling the doorknob a second later as they try to enter. I slowly stand, careful not to make too much noise, and begin inching my way over to the door.
"Adeline! Let me in!" A desperate voice that I immediately recognize to be Betty's calls out. I rush to unlock the door as her cries make their way to my ears, ripping it open in a panic.
"Are you okay?" I ask as she comes barreling in, face pale as if she's just seen a ghost.
She slams my door shut behind her, turning the lock immediately after. I try to keep my voice calm as I ask her what's wrong, not wanting to panic before I know what's happening.
"I can't clean the King's chambers today!" She announces as she turns to face me.
I'm filled with even more confusion at her statement, and motion for her to sit on my bed.
"Why?" I probe.
Her cheeks flush as she looks at my bed and she shakes her head no, choosing to stand with her back against the door.
"I'm bleeding."
Betty gestures to her waist as she speaks, shifting her weight from foot to foot in embarrassment. I can't help but sigh in relief as I realize her concern, my tense muscles relaxing. The rumor of Heloix harming bleeding women is widely spread and terrified me when I first began working in his chambers, but I've come to realize that they were all lies.
"You are okay." I assure her, rushing to my bathroom to grab a couple of tampons. "I have bled around Heloix many times and he has never punished me for it."
As I enter my bathroom I glance at all my new products, my cheeks heating up as I imagine Heloix walking through the marketplace picking out all the soaps and creams. The soaps were pretty self-explanatory, but he left little notes on all the creams telling me what they are for.
Two are for hydration, one for my body and another for my face, and the third cream is to make me smell nice. They all came in beautiful glass jars that I'm sure cost a fortune, and the products smell like the gardens.
I felt embarrassed when I first entered my bathroom and saw them, wondering if Heloix purchased them because he finds me smelly, but have ruled that reasoning out. I shower every day and wash my clothing at least once a week. While I may not have the best smell in the world, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's unpleasant.
Eventually I settled on the realization that he must have bought these items as a way to curb my anger and get me to stop arguing with him about the humans. It's a good attempt, but isn't going to work.
Betty calls my name from my bedroom, snapping me out of my thoughts and bringing my attention back to the present. I grab a couple of tampons off the counter and bring them out to her.
"Here, you can use these if you're worried. It will keep the blood inside." I inform her, setting them in her outstretched hand.
Betty takes them from me but her expression is still full of worry. "I heard that he killed a woman once because he didn't like the scent of her blood."
I shake my head, eager to inform her that that's false.
"That's untrue. Like I said, I've bled around him many times and he hasn't once said or done anything."
Betty's stiff posture loosens as she fiddles with the tampons in her hand. I can tell she's still nervous, but I understand where it's coming from. I was terrified the first time I had to clean King Heloix's chambers while bleeding, the rumors ever-present in my mind, but he didn't even bat an eye when I entered his room that day.
"I need to go to his office today to speak with him. Why don't you go put that in and I'll walk with you to his chambers." I say, lying about needing to speak with him today.
Truthfully, I was hoping to avoid Heloix all day, not wanting to interact with him unless absolutely necessary. I'll do it though if it brings Betty peace of mind.
She seems calmed by my words and nods her head eagerly in agreement before rushing off to my bathroom. As she enters I begin to worry that she will question me on my products, and take the time to think of a good excuse as to how I obtained them before she comes out.
There's an odd expression on her face when she emerges a couple of minutes later, but thankfully she doesn't comment on it and remains quiet as we make our way to the King's chambers.
"Come in through the office door." I instruct her. "There's a gear that makes it easier to open."
Her eyes widen slightly in surprise, but still she remains silent. She follows closely behind me as I approach it, her body so close that I can feel her breaths on my back.
I pause for a second as we reach the office door, giving Betty a moment to collect herself before pushing open the door.
Heloix is, as always, sitting behind his desk. He looks up as I enter, seeming surprised by my presence. He doesn't even acknowledge Betty as she follows behind me and I hold back a smile, so glad that he isn't commenting on her blood.
I walk to the center of the room, stopping once I am directly in front of his desk, and step aside so Betty can pass by and enter his chambers.
"What brings you here today?" Heloix speaks up, sounding almost excited.
I shrug, waiting for Betty to fully exit before speaking.
"She was worried you would harm her for bleeding so I agreed to come with her today." I explain, my confidence wavering now that I am alone with him.
Heloix hums, setting down his pen and leaning back in his chair. "You deem me to be such a bad Beast, yet you march in here with a little bleeding human, so confident that I won't bring either of you harm."
I avert my eyes from his, grinding my teeth slightly in annoyance.
"That's different."
"How so?" Heloix pushes.
I open my mouth to argue, but struggle to explain my logic. He makes a point, but just doesn't seem to get the larger picture. Being confident that he isn't going to kill Betty for bleeding doesn't mean that I still don't fear him killing us for other offenses.
"Do you like your presents?" Heloix asks, changing the subject.
I nod my head, cheeks hot. "Yes, thank you."
"I picked the scents out myself." He states, puffing out his chest in pride.
I hold back a smile at his excitement, not wanting him to think he's getting to me. I had wondered if he had sent a guard out to fetch the items for me, and can't help but feel flattered that he went and picked them out himself.
"The dresses too!"
"The dresses?" I ask, confused.
Did he purchase me dresses too? I haven't looked in my closet recently, having been wearing this one for a couple of days now. Excitement rushes through me at the possibility of getting some new clothing. I've had my current ones for a couple years now, and they are barely hanging on by a thread.
"Yes. I put new clothing in your closet for you. Did you not see them?" Heloix asks, standing from his desk.
I shake my head no, watching as Heloix approaches. My heart races the closer he comes, but it doesn't seem to deter him.
"Come. I will show you." He murmurs, moving past me towards the door.
His hand grazes my lower back as he passes, and I involuntarily tense at the contact, knowing that it wasn't an accident. Deciding to ignore it, I turn and follow behind him, keeping close as we walk out of the room towards my bedroom. The last time he was in here with me was when I first moved in, but he was irate at John's presence the entire time.
I've done lots of decorating since then, and although Heloix clearly enters while I am not present, I am excited to show him what I've done with the place. The gardener was kind enough to give me some flowers to line my windowsill with, and I have found a number of small, colorful rocks to decorate the top of my dresser.
It's probably not much to him, but it's more than I've ever had before. Heloix walks quickly through the corridor, and I jog lightly to keep up. He pauses once he reaches my door, turning to look at me expectantly.
I'm surprised that he didn't just barge his way in, given that that's what he has done previously, but I don't comment on it as I walk past him and push open my door.
I make my way inside, Heloix following close behind, and spin around quickly to face him. I do my best to hold back a smile as I extend my arms and gesture around the room.
"I decorated!" I announce proudly, pointing to my plant filled window first, immediately following that up with a point to my rocks.
Heloix looks around the room, his eyes soft. "It looks good."
I watch as he closes my door and moves further into my room. He walks over to my window, running his hands along my flowers before lightly pinching the petals. I want to tell him to leave them alone but he moves away before I have the chance.
My rocks are next, and Heloix picks up each one, inspecting it closely before carefully setting it back down in its original place.
"Where did you find all these?"
I shrug, not wanting to tell him that sometimes I sneak out of the castle early in the morning to collect them from the garden. Unless it's pertinent to our job, slaves aren't allowed to leave the castle walls, and I don't want him taking my rocks away in punishment.
Heloix turns to look at me, eyebrow raised as he awaits my answer.
"I find them around." I answer, purposely keeping my words vague.
To my surprise, Heloix shoots me a wink and sets the rock he holds back down. Moving away from my dresser, he meanders over to my tiny closet and pulls open the door. Bright colored fabric explodes out of the doorway, and I'm floored as I take in the amount of clothing he put in here.
Slaves wear only long and unfitted beige or black dresses. Often patched up and passed down as we grow out of them, most dresses are awfully tattered and dingy. These dresses, even at such a quick glance, are clearly nothing of the sort.
Vibrant colors, ranging from reds to blues to yellows fill the small space, and I can't resist stepping forward and running my hand through the silky fabric. Heloix stands next to me as I peer at the clothing, his eyes staring holes into the side of my head, but I pay no attention to it.
"These are mine?" I whisper, finally turning to face Heloix.
He nods. "If you're going to be working with us Beasts you're going to need nice dresses. They won't respect you if you look dirty."
"I only work with you?" I question, rolling my eyes as I correct myself. "And sometimes your Second."
Heloix hums thoughtfully but doesn't immediately answer. Instead, he turns his attention back to the closet to inspect it before reaching in and pulling out a red, silky dress.
It's clearly the nicest one in here, and I refuse to let myself even think about how much it cost. This clothing is nice even for a Beast, and I would guess that this entire closet cost Heloix thousands. I almost feel guilty accepting all these presents, knowing that my fellow humans aren't getting the same treatment, but I hope that I can convince Heloix to extend this same kindness to the others.
"Try this on." He orders, pushing the fabric into my hands.
I fumble to grab it, not wanting any piece to drag along my dirty floor, and look up at Heloix curiously. He's visibly excited to see me try on the clothing, a large smile on his face as he gestures to the bathroom.
"Go try it on." He urges once more.
I debate it for a second, wondering if this is some trick that I'm not catching onto, but he seems genuine in his actions. If I'm honest with myself, I want to know what it feels like to have a piece of fabric so soft on my skin.
The dress looks so tempting, and I stare at it longingly before giving in and rushing to the bathroom to try it on. I slam the door shut behind me, locking it for good measure, and rip off my tattered dress.
I hunt through the fabric of my new one to find the bottom, quickly throwing it over my head once I find the hole. It falls easily down my body, the silky fabric smoothing itself out without my help. This dress is significantly smaller than any others I've ever worn before, the waist hugging me tightly and the hem ending a good a couple of inches above my knee. The straps are thin and the neckline low, leaving my sports bra exposed.
I've seen women wear similar dresses before with no bra underneath, their breasts on full display to all that care to look. That style isn't exactly practical for servants, and would no doubt draw the wrong attention from the Beasts, but I figure it won't hurt to style it the way the royal women do while within the safety of my own room.
I hesitate for a second before making any adjustments, trying to determine whether I trust Heloix or not. He's promised he wouldn't rape me and hasn't been forceful with me in the past, but I know that he's attracted to me and has no issues with Beasts harming us.
My mind teeters back and forth before I decide to trust Heloix just this once.
Pulling down the straps, I slip off my sports bra and slide the dress back up in place. I turn and evaluate myself in the small mirror, my heart beating rapidly as I take in my appearance. If you ignore my frizzy hair and short stature, I look like a royal. Taking off the bra helped immensely, but I spot large indentations along my hips and butt where my underwear sits as I swivel around.
I hesitate on this as well, before reaching my hand up my dress and pulling the fabric down to my feet. I feel uncomfortably exposed, and shift as I feel air getting to parts of my body that haven't experienced a breeze before.
"I want to see." Heloix calls out, his voice sounding as if he is just on the other side of the door.
Looking over myself once more, I quickly bend down and shove my undergarments and dress out of view, not wanting Heloix to see them lying on the floor.
My heart is beating rapidly as I reach for the doorknob, wondering what Heloix would do if I refused to come out, before hesitantly opening the door. Like I thought, Heloix is standing immediately on the other side, and he quickly backs up to give me space to exit.
I move forward slowly, refusing to make eye contact as I make my way to the center of the room. Heloix doesn't speak, and I fidget with my hands as I wait for his comments.
The sound of wood cracking has me springing my head up, eyes locking in on Heloix's hand on my dresser. The thick wood is splintered underneath his palm, his fingers turning white as he harshly grips the top.
"Are you okay?" I ask, nervously moving my attention from his hand to his face.
The first thing I notice are his flickering eyes, and I take a hesitant step backward as he fights with his Beast for control. Neither one of us speaks, my heart pounding so quickly that I can hear it whooshing through my ears.
Heloix struggles to compose himself, but eventually calms down, his eyes settling into their natural color. As if this never happened in the first place, he straightens himself out and releases his grip on the dresser, a large smile spreading across his face.
"I quite like it." He announces, walking around me in a circle, the motion similar to how a predator stalks a prey.
Nervously, I brush my hands along the fabric and adjust its placement on my waist. "It's very nice."
Heloix's eyes rake down my body, lingering on my chest with a frown.
"I will need to purchase you proper coverings for your breasts." He murmurs, eyes narrowing. "You can't go out looking like this."
I nod in agreement. "I have one sports bra, but it didn't look good underneath the dress."
Heloix continues circling me, his footsteps stopping directly behind me before approaching quickly. Anxiety runs through me at his proximity, his breaths hitting me in the back of my head.
"And you are not wearing underwear." He comments.
I spin around to face him, shocked by his statement.
"Yes I am." I lie.
"I know that you are not. Why did you remove it?" He answers, lifting his hand and running a finger along the faint scar on my neck.
His skin is warm, the touch leaving goosebumps in its wake.
"I, uh-"I struggle to form a complete thought, his actions distracting me.
"Are you trying to steal my innocence Adeline?" He asks, causing an abrupt laugh to fall from my mouth.
His innocence! I doubt that man has a shred left in his body. He frowns at my laugh, removing his hand from my neck and stepping away from me.
"What is so funny?" He demands, voice curt.
I shrug, "I just thought it was funny that you mentioned your innocence."
"Why?"
Frowning, I glance up at him in confusion. I thought that he was trying to make a joke, why is he so upset by this?
"What do you mean? Because you rape and murder both human and Beasts alike." I answer truthfully, explaining my laughter bluntly.
"I do not rape. And I'll have you know I have saved many parts of myself for my mate."