The Choice

Selena

I just feel frozen to my spot in the room.

“Mia… human wise how many weeks would I be?” I ask her nervously.

“Um, I’d say about 36 weeks. Either way, that’s a safe range to have twins. We need to get you two ready. Somebody get me a wheelchair right now!” A poor intern quickly ran to the hallway and got the chair for me to sit in. We get rolled up to labor and delivery which looks really cute but I’m not really paying attention. Contractions are coming in slowly but painfully.

“Alright, since you broke your water on your own, let’s give you some pitocin. That should get things going.” I nod my head and just let her do whatever she needs to. Monitors are hooked up over my belly as I try to make myself comfortable in the new room. The late afternoon/early evening starts off not so bad. I don’t feel much, and I get to nibble on some food. By late evening I’m feeling more contractions and man this hurts! My hospital gown just feels itchy and I strip it off. I really don’t care at this point who sees me.

I try to breathe through the pain, but I just end up crying. I try to waddle myself into the bathroom to get some warm water on my back to help with contractions and that helps some, but not much. Ugh this is going to be a long night… I prop my elbows on the edge of the bed and just breathe. Swaying my hips from side to side as contractions start to get closer together. Kieran whispering sweet nothings to me through this whole thing.

“Soon we’ll have to wheel you to the OR. Now I know you want to do this naturally if you can, but should something go wrong we’ll have to intervene. Kieran, go find Connor to get some scrubs. I’ll take care of Selena.” Mia orders him around, but frankly she can. It’s her hospital. I climb back into bed and luckily as I just make myself semi-comfortable another contraction hits and I hold on to the side bars for dear life!

“Once this contraction subsides let me check you to see how far along you are, alright?” She lifts the blanket over my legs. “Alright you’re going to feel some pressure, that’s just my hand. Ok… touching… ooh you’re doing great Selena! 8cm!” The door opens and Kieran’s back with his scrubs. “Good timing bro she’s almost there!” He runs over to me and holds my hand. Contractions are becoming back to back and holy crap these hurt! I just try to keep breathing through it, but I can’t help but moan in pain. “We have to start wheeling you to the OR soon!” I hear a loud noise of the breaks of the bed being unlocked. Mia and Kieran wheel me to an unfamiliar room. Ugh, the lights are so bright, but luckily Mia turns about half of them off.

“Alright now you should be safe to deliver.” I moan and scream again as another contraction rips through me again. After another hour of contractions I just have the need to push.

“Let me check you again to see where we’re at… oh crap the baby’s crowning he or she is right there! You’re doing so well Selena!” Oh yeah I never found out the genders of my babies… I really want to see them! “Selena I need you to bear down and push when the next contraction hits. Kieran, hold her leg up or help her put it in a stirrup.” Kieran helped me put my leg in the foot rest thingy and sure enough I needed to push. I just let out a scream. I could vaguely hear Mia counting to ten but I just had to let this feeling go.

“Ok stop pushing for a moment, give yourself a second to breathe before the next contraction.” I do that maybe three more times before the first twin is out! “Twin a is out, and it’s a boy! Congratulations mom and dad!” I cry when I hear I have a son! A little boy running around the pack house. Soon another contraction hits telling me I’m not done. A group of interns is cleaning him off and I hear his little cry. The best sound I’ve ever heard right now. “Twin a is 5lbs 11oz, 19in long!”

“Almost done Selena, let’s get this second baby out!” Kieran wipes away my tears of joy and I screamed again as the second one came out. “Alright give yourself a moment before the next one. You’re doing so well! The next one is almost out. I can see it’s head and he or she has beautiful brunette hair just like its momma!” The last contraction came like a tidal wave and I just screamed again. I held onto Kieran’s hand as tightly as I could and I’m sure my face was changing colors. Soon I hear another baby cry and I just fall back onto the bed. “Congratulations mom and dad, it’s a little girl!” A daughter… I cry as I hear my babies crying and I just want them in my arms. Mia smiles at me but is still at the foot of the bed. “Twin b is 6lbs 9oz, 20in long!”

“We just have to let the placenta go through your body so I’m going to have to push on your stomach.” Ugh should you be doing that right now. Holy crap that hurts almost as bad as the babies! “There you go! You’re going to be bleeding for a while and that’s normal. I’m going to stitch up your tear and you’ll be fine.” I nod my head and catch my breath after the marathon I feel like I just ran.

Once measurements and cleaning them off was done they’re put onto my chest and I just can’t help but stare at them and cry.

“You’re so beautiful…” I whisper to them. Kieran kisses my head and smiles.

“Yes, you are… you were amazing through the whole thing!” Mia and Connor wheel me back to another room to recover.

“Ok so I have some adult diapers in the bathroom, yes it’s weird, but from fellow moms I’ve helped deliver they say it helps better than the mesh underwear. Myself or a nurse from my team is going to give you some padcicles and numbing spray that will help with your junk. From what I’m told they feel amazing. There are also some laxatives in the bathroom since with what you just went through you’re not going to be pushing anything out for a little while. There’s also squeeze bottles with warm water to help clean your front when you go, and help you clean some blood. There’s a robe on the back of the door if you want it to make yourself more comfortable. You can take a sitz bath but just don’t take a long one since of your dissolvable stitches. It’s a plastic basin that you’ll put in the toilet and just let yourself soak, just no more than ten minutes.

Also, your chest probably doesn’t feel any different now, but your colostrum is probably coming in and you’ll want to feed your babies soon. Your real milk will come in two-four days from now, but you’ll still be with us and we can have a specialist help with that. From what I’m told again, there’s no mistake when it comes in. They’ll feel like cartoon large, luckily or unlucky. Maybe you’ll like them larger, it doesn’t last long, maybe 24 hours. I know this is an information dump so try to digest all that.” I take a deep breath and try to calm down. “It’ll take a few weeks for hormones to go back to normal too. So all this” she points to me as I’m on the verge of crying again. “is all normal. Hormones are going back to normal from labor, trying to produce milk, and recovery should take around six-eight weeks, but I’ve been told it can take longer.”

“Thanks Mia… for everything you and Connor have done for us.” I hear one twin start to cry and I reach out my arms for them.

“I’ll watch the first feeding or two just to see how they’re latching. Also, I’ve been told by fellow moms that Madela has an app that can help you with timing your feeding, telling you which side you fed from, diaper changes, growth charts. So you might want to install that on your phone. Let me see… ah there. Here you go, and just go to feeding, nursing or bottle, tap nurse, and which side, we’ll go with right that seems more comfortable, and there.” We fiddle with my phone for a minute or two while we get my daughter situated. She latches on I guess no problem. I can’t help but smile at this little one.

“So last question… what’s their name?” She asks us with a smile. That one was easy.

“Our boy… Jacob Connor Stoneshire and for our little girl… Amelia Raven Stoneshire.” I smile back to her and she’s just wiping away her tears.

“Beautiful names… I’m flattered. I’ll go work on the birth certificates.” She leaves as I nurse little Mia. As she drifts off to sleep in her milk coma, Kieran puts her back in her bassinet and I feed Jacob. I figured out the app Mia recommended, and it’s really helpful. Now I won’t be lopsided, which I’ve heard is a problem that can be painful. Now that both are fed and happy I finally get some sleep for a couple hours before they get hungry again. This is the new normal… yeah I can get used to this.