The Choice

Selena (back at the ball)

I tried to eat dinner, but I couldn’t eat. The food smelled delicious, but I had no appetite.

“I’m going back upstairs. I can’t do this.” I run back to my old room and just start grabbing things I want to bring back to Moonstone. Some sentimental gifts from my siblings, some simpler dresses and other clothes that I liked, my inheritance, or what little I had from my parents. Jude had to smuggle it to me. He always took good care of me. Sometimes I’d wonder who was taking care of who, and packed what we brought from home. I couldn’t stand being here. I just wanted to go home. The only reason I came was to come and get Gwen but I don’t think I can stay any longer. She belonged here… not me.

“Selena, what’s wrong?” Kieran asks me with concern in his voice.

“I thought I could handle being back here, but I just can’t… I want to go home. Back to Moonstone.” He looked at me and then the bags.

“Where do you want to sneak out?” He asks me with a smirk on his face and I can’t help but smile at him.

“Everyone is in the ballroom, we can just go out the front and no one would even notice.” I hear cheering from downstairs. The party down there is oblivious to what heartache I was living. Seeing my family up on that stage was just a slap in the face on what my so-called parents did to me. Treating all my other siblings with decency all while I just wanted to marry for love instead of being treated like I was just some pawn on a chessboard. I lost everything when I said I wanted love… but yet I gained so much too. I may have lost my biological family, but I gained a new one… one that showed me kindness and love that I never got from my own family.

“We must hurry, while they’re distracted by dancing downstairs we can make a break for it.”

“I’ll go on ahead to get the car and meet you outside.” He kisses my cheek and releases my hand. I write a quick note for Gwen explaining what happened and that she can come to visit us anytime she wants. I wish her happiness here, something I never got. I quickly change into warmer and more comfortable clothes. A sweater and sherpa-lined pants. I carried my bag downstairs quickly… took one last look and went out the door. I didn’t feel bad for leaving. They probably wouldn’t notice. As I saw the headlights of Kieran’s truck come into view, I jumped in as quickly as I could.

“You ok?” He tried to caress my hand but I was too upset right now.

“No, I’m not ok. I hate it there! I hate it so much! I never want to go there again unless my parents are dead! That ballgown you got me my mom called it ‘an acceptable gown’ it was a beautiful gown, something out of a movie and that’s only ‘acceptable’ Gwen was wearing a much simpler gown than mine and that should’ve been ‘acceptable’. Had I worn that I would’ve been told to change, but because it’s Gwen she gets a family heirloom!?” I could feel Carolina wanting blood… their blood… for all the years of neglect and ignoring me…

“Lena… it’s not a good idea to wolf out in the car.” Kieran had started calling me by Gwen’s nickname lately and I kind of like it.

“Why can’t I just get a simple compliment or know that I’ve done something right in their eyes?! Am I that much of a failure??” I could feel angry tears coming down my face… Kieran pulls over on the side of the road and grabs my face.

“You are not a failure… you’re my luna, my soon to be wife… and someday… a mother to our own children… where I know you will not make the same mistakes as your parents did to you…” I kept on crying in his hands… he gets out of the truck for a minute to come to my side and just hugs me… I kept on crying for what felt like hours. Once I calm down he goes back to the driver’s side and goes back to driving. We made it home at a decent hour but I just felt like going to bed.

“Selena!” I hear Mia call out to me, but I ignore her. I just kept going to our room. “What’s the matter with her?” I hear her ask Kieran. I made it to our room, and I just threw myself onto the bed and cried some more.

“I’ll tell you later, right now she needs me. I’ll have someone bring food for her later, she didn’t eat at the party.” I heard his footsteps get closer to the room, but I didn’t bother looking up. I knew it was him.

“Lena…” I feel his caressing touch on my back trying to comfort me. “I know tonight was a rough night, but I’m sure Gwen was happy to see you.”

“I wanted to take her home with us…” I mumbled into the covers.

“I know you did, but Gwen seemed to be having a good time from the music I heard. Maybe she found her mate, who knows. I’m sure she’ll call you tomorrow.” He kept caressing my back trying to comfort me and I could just fall asleep from his touch. “Do you want to go in the jacuzzi? That might cheer you up.” A warm bath always comforted me, but for the first time since I’ve met Kieran… I had my first dirty thought.

“Join me?” I had never asked him to join me in the shower or during a jacuzzi bath before so this was a big deal for me.

“Are you sure? I know you wanted to wait… this is a big deal for you.” He looks at me wide-eyed and in shock.

“Yeah… I think I’m ready…”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re emotional. I think we should wait till you have a clearer head.” He grabs onto my shoulders and looks me in the eye, but I kiss him hard. “Lena this isn’t you at all!”

“Yeah well, maybe I’m tired of being what I’m supposed to be! I’m supposed to be a princess and I wasn’t given a chance to, I’m supposed to be a luna and I think I’m doing ok. I haven’t been told otherwise, I’m supposed to be your mate, but yet I feel like I’m a wet blanket! I want to do something crazy for once in my damn life!”

“Lena! I get you’re angry, upset, and jealous of your family but try to calm down, your wolf is about to come out!” I could feel my claws and fangs coming out. I had never felt like this before, but I kind of liked it. I just wanted to hit something… so I punched a nearby pillow.

“Maybe I should take you to the gym to let this aggression out.” He grabbed my hand, but I didn’t want to go to the gym.

“I don’t need the gym... I need you.” I could feel a fire in me grow that I never noticed before. What it is, I have no idea. The desire for acceptance? The want of my mate? The hatred of my parents?

“Lena…” I kiss him as hard as I can...

“Do you want this as much as I do?” I look at him square in the eye. He looks at me with the same boldness I’ve been showing him.

“Of course I do, I want to make you happy, feel wanted and loved.”

“Then stop talking…” He slowly takes off my sweater and I take off his clothes. We make our way to the jacuzzi tub in the bathroom and start getting it ready. Winter scented candles were lit on the counter, a lavender soap was added to the water that was starting to fill. I could feel his light touch on my skin and it gave me shivers.

“Do you want to add the jets?” The water was almost ready for them to be turned on.

“Yeah, I think we could both use them.” The jets turn on and the soap makes it extra bubbly.

“Are you sure this is what you want? I know you wanted to wait until the wedding night.”

“I’m tired of doing what I’m supposed to do… I love you… and I’m not afraid to tell the world!”

“Look me in the eye…” I look at him and I see no anger, only a hunger… a hunger for me. “Say I’m yours…”

“I’m yours Kieran… I’ve always been yours…” I smile at him. He cups my cheek and smiles at me.

“And I’m yours… I’m always dreaming of you… It is you cannot sacrifice. I’ve hardly had any alone time with you and now that I have it... I feel like I can’t keep my hands off you. I can’t stop thinking of you… from quiet mornings to when we’re going to bed.” He kisses me softly at first but gets rougher as he goes down to my neck and chest.

“Do you want me to stop?” I shake my head no. “I want to show you more…” I look at him wide-eyed and gasp.

“More?”

“You’re mine… and I’m ready for the world to know. I’m not ashamed to have you as my mate.” I didn’t expect to get teary-eyed when he told me, but I did. “I’ve been waiting for you… waiting for this moment… I’m in love with you… every inch of you…”

“I’ve been waiting for you too… I’m in love with you… every inch of you… and I’ve barely scratched the surface…” Tears just fall down my face. I’m not sure why, but they are.

“I can’t change the past… can’t change what the future may hold… but I want you in it… every hour every minute… all I want to do is come running home to you…”

“Wow… all my life I was told the minimal basics… how to be a semi-decent princess… but I wasn’t even given the chance to show the world what I have. The only love I was shown was from my siblings and my nanny. Never my parents… and I’m literally thrown here… I’ve been shown more love, compassion, kindness, life lessons in the months here than a lifetime in a freakin castle! My siblings may have had better treatment from my parents, but their cruelty led me to you… it felt like they were ashamed of me… and I just wanted someone or something to take away the pain. I had no hope or future there… I never felt free there… I wondered where I went wrong… but you’ve given me the strength to carry on.” It felt like I was crying a waterfall of tears. He turns off the jacuzzi and just holds me.

“I never realized how dark your mentality was before you got here…” He whispers into my ear.

“You have no idea… but I tried to keep going. I had to. I wasn’t going to give my parents the satisfaction that they had worn me down.” He kisses my wet cheek and looks me in the eye again.

“You’re so much stronger than you know… which is why you’re made to be a luna. Sure a luna can be kind and sweet to the pack, but that’s not all she is. She has to be strong. I don’t mean just physically, but mentally. Not everyone is meant to be a luna, but I’m so proud of you… I’m proud to have you as MY luna…” He kisses me with so much love and passion… I wrap my arms around his neck and just live in the moment.

“Do what you’ve always wanted to do to me…” I whisper in his ear. I hear him growl seductively and he gets rougher with his kiss.

“That’s a dangerous request, my luna… I’m dangerously close to marking you, and I want to because you want to. Not just because you’re jealous of your family.”

“Yes, I want this… but shouldn’t this be a special moment?” He pulls me close to him.

“Like this?” He purrs at me.

“Did you just purr?” I’ve never heard someone purr before.

“Duncan likes this… so do I…” He kisses and nibbles on my neck.

“Kieran!” I cry out his name in surprise. I see his eyes change from his dark chocolate brown to a dark silver. “No… you’re Duncan…”

“Yes…” He growls with a seductive smile.

“Be gentle Duncan… I’ve never done this before.” I blush as I admit that.

“I’d never hurt you!” He growls angrily this time.

“Easy Duncan, I know that… do you want Carolina to come out?”

“Please?” He begs like a little puppy.

“Well, since you begged. How can I say no to that?” I could feel Carolina come out, but just enough that my eyes probably changed colors as Duncan did. I just took a step back.

“Lina?” He asks me

“Yes, my love? Now we can finally be together… no more stupid family to hold me back now, no more society rules, no more hiding…” I caress his cheek and he leans into my hand. I turn the water back on to warm it back up, add more soap and turn the jets back on. We both… undress and we go in together. Normal me would have blushed but Carolina seems kind of smitten seeing Duncan naked.

“My my… aren’t you a snack…” We smirk… I do admit there are perks to having an alpha as a mate… damn he’s fit...

“Carolina let me back! Come on, don’t deprive me of my first time!”

“NO WAY! This is my first time with Duncan!”

“Please! Pretty please with venison on top??”

“Really?”

“What? I can’t use a cherry, not my thing.”

“Ugh… humans… fine.” She shifted back to me and breathed a sigh of relief…

“Duncan, can you bring Kieran back? I promise you and Carolina can have a full night of… whatever wolves do, but please let me have Kieran…”

“Fine…” He shifts back to his gorgeous dark chocolate brown eyes and I smile.

“Welcome back…” I wrap my arms around him.

“Hey, there pretty lady… when did you put those heels on?” He points out some black lace stilettos that I grabbed as a surprise for our wedding night.

“I meant for them to be a surprise, but since tonight seems to be full of them I figured ‘why not’,” I smirk at him and kiss him. His lips were soft and warm. He guides me to the tub where the water was almost too hot but just warm enough to make me wake up more. The jets feel good on my back as I moan with relaxation washing over me.

“Does it feel good?” He whispers in my ear?

“Yes but I think it’s going to get better,” I smirk at him. He gazes into my eyes and gets up to close the door. Making sure we’re fully alone. He gets back in splashing me a little, but his touch on my arm feels so gentle. I feel him go down my back and squeeze my butt, I squeal. He keeps running his hands up and down my curves and I can’t help but rub him down too. Every ripple and muscle is just as toned as the other. I let out little moans as he keeps touching me.

“I may have to get you dirty so I can clean you…” He whispers in my ear and just the idea excites me. We’re sitting face to face. I’m running my hands up and down his chest while we kiss each other passionately. He pulls me up onto his lap with my legs wrapped around him.

“Do u want it here or in the bed?” He whispers in my ear with a growl in his tone. Duncan is trying hard to get out. I smile back at him with a smirk on my face.

“Both…” I purr to him in his ear, and he growls at me. The moment is too perfect right now and I don’t really want to get up right now. The jets feel so good against my skin but right now I just want his hands. I want to mark him so badly, but let’s see where the night takes me. He gently put me onto his lap but I wasn’t just sitting on him… I was on his lap. I gasped and moaned as I felt him go in.

“Are you ok?” I breathe through the pain, but it goes away and turns to pleasure. I moan again and nod yes to answer his question.

“Don’t stop there!” I start moving against him. Water splashing us but just the way he looked with water on him made me wonder why I didn’t want to see him when I took my showers in the first place.

“Let’s go to bed…” He growls at me. Nibbling on my ear. He gets out first and then helps me out. I turned off the jets and drained the tub. I tried to grab a towel, but he snatched it away.

“It’s a crime to cover this… magnificent body of yours with a towel. Let me dry you up a little so we don’t completely get the bed water wet… I have plans on making you wet in a different way…” He takes me in his arms and I squeal with excitement as he carries me to our queen bed. He lays me down gently on the pillows and admires my newly toned body. Ever since being here, I’ve noticed curves that I didn’t even know I had. Guess those lessons with Conrad are paying off.

“Like what you see?” I smirk at him.

“Of course I do.” He begins to kiss me again and I can get addicted to this. The sparks of the bond are exploding all across my body. “I’m sorry Lena but I’m not going to mark you tonight but man the real thing is going to be amazing!” I’m slightly bummed but I understand. “I will soon.”

“Tonight was more than perfect.” He kisses me again.

“I’m worried that tonight might trigger your heat cycle.”

“My what?” He gave me a look of shock.

“Your mom or nanny or any female you’ve met hasn’t told you about your heat??” He asks me, still very shocked.

“Uuuh no…” I blush at him and am a little embarrassed myself. I guess this is something I should already know about and don’t. Thanks, mom…

“Well… for a few days you’ll feel like you have a fever. So if you don’t feel well, tell someone. Other unmated guys will smell it too and that can be dangerous. I want you to come and find me straight away if you start to feel warm. It may not happen tomorrow but I want you to know the signs.”

“What other signs should I look for besides being warm?” I blush again.

“All you’ll want is sex, and me. Nobody will be able to get in this room or near you while it happens. I may be able to sneak to the kitchen quickly to get us something to eat and water. Sometimes it can happen to me too so I’ve been told. I know your parents weren’t there for you so that’s why I bring it up because I want you to know that I don’t want you to be embarrassed to come to me when you need me and know that no matter what I’ll answer all your questions and you don’t need to worry about being embarrassed. I’m there for you.” He hugs me and I kiss his cheek.

“Why would being around unmated guys be dangerous?”

“Because they can smell when a she-wolf is in heat and they’ll want the same thing. You won’t be in the right state of mind to stop them.”

“Oh… that is bad…” I lay on his chest trying not to think about it for now. “How about we just cuddle for now but we can stay as we are,” I smirk at him.

“I think that’s just what we need.” He smirks at me back.

“I know it may have been awkward but thanks for warning me.” We both laugh and just snuggle until we fall asleep.