The Boy From The Forest

“Great Overlord.” The Great Overlord gave no sign of having heard.

“Great Overlord, Bhhhhxy and Dffffrt have returned with a High-Value Prisoner. They humbly await a time to show her to you.” The Cultural Anthropologist was having trouble relating to the Great Overlord.

Bhhhhxy and Dffffrt entered the main control room, with Icelandia between them. She looked around. She had been captured by demons, that was for sure. But these demons seemed sort of down on their luck. The great gilded throne had a few nicks and scrapes in it. Some of the chairs in the circle around the throne were unoccupied, with obvious dust in them. There was an annoying buzz coming from somewhere.

“We come in peace for all beings. Our only desire is to lift you pitiful wretches out of your poverty and prepare you for membership in the Galactic Federation.” The Cultural Anthropologist spoke slowly and loudly in the local language.

“You have nothing to fear from us. We want to learn your charming local customs.” Icelandia looked at the creature that was making noise. Practically its whole head was a gigantic mouth.

Suddenly, Icelandia realized that this creature was trying to talk to her. “You will be returned to your tribe as soon as our demands are met. We would rather not have to kill you. I hope you can see that we want to be friends.”

Princess Icelandia hiked up her skirt and grasped the dagger strapped to her thigh. She slashed viciously at Bhhhhxy then made to stab Dffffrt. Dffffrt had just enough time to put out a hand and grab Icelandia’s delicate, slender wrist.

“Dffffrt, don’t you dare hurt this prisoner. She is quite valuable, and you are not.” The Cultural Anthropologist spoke with clear authority. She wished the Great Overlord would wake up and start acting like a Great Overlord.

“Bhhhhxy, you are trying to change the shape of your head. I would think that you would know better. Someone of your status must keep the same shape at the time.” The Great Overlord found his voice.

“She nearly cut my head off!! Excuse me for trying to repair my injuries!!” Bhhhhxy could have been more respectful toward the Great Overlord.

Dffffrt continued to hold Icelandia by the wrist. He was way stronger than her, but he needed to take away the knife without hurting her. If he injured the prisoner in any way, he would be painting bulkheads until the First Emperor rose from his marble crypt. Since the First Emperor was never going to rise from his marble crypt, he would be painting bulkheads for a very long time.

“Bhhhhxy, give me your whetstone. For her knife here.”

“Dffffrt, that knife is sharp enough. Look what she did to me.”

“No, silly. I am going to dull her knife. So it will not be as dangerous.”

So Dffffrt took Bhhhhxy’s whetstone and instead of using it to sharpen a knife (A whetstone is usually used to sharpen something, just in case you did not know), he used it to make Icelandia’s dagger all dull. All the while it was still in her hand, while she was kicking and spitting at Dffffrt.

There. He let go of her hand. The knife was quite dull now.

Icelandia drew back her right arm and threw her dagger at the Great Overlord. It would have been below his dignity to duck, but he quickly formed a hole in his body. The dagger flew through the hole in the Great Overlord, clattering into an unused workstation.

Bhhhhxy and Dffffrt hustled Princess Icelandia to a holding cell in the lower level. She was going to be a handful.

“Hold that line!! You are supposed to be a shield wall, not a garden gate. All together, push the enemy back!!!”

“It would be easier if there was an actual enemy there. We are pretending to push against someone when there is not really anyone there.” Vincent decided to risk saying something.

“Oh, you want to meet the enemy? Before long, you will meet the enemy, and then you will look back fondly at these days with good old Sergeant Hardcastle.”

Norman wanted to ask something. “How many Woodlanders will be going to the war?”

“Oh, I counted this group just yesterday, and I came up with forty-eleven. That is a good number. Then there is Sergeant Stringent training a group where the dappled water flows. I heard they are coming along really well. And at the Three Rocks, Lieutenant Hardcore is training two groups all by himself. That man is a total maniac. There are other training camps further out in the Forest, but I do not know a lot about them. So all in all, the Forest will contribute a lot of men to the war effort.”

“Great Overlord.” The second assistant engineers mate stood before the Great Overlord.

“What is it?” The Great Overlord was not in a good mood. In his place, you would not be either.

“Great Overlord, we have detected large numbers of the natives moving about.”

“Why would I possibly care about that.”

“Great Overlord, our sensors indicate that they are moving around in large groups. These groups show cohesion and purpose. Besides that, they are carrying weapons. And they are all heading roughly toward the same place, which is not far from here.”

“Great Overlord, we have to make a stand. We should take this time to fortify our position here. If we establish a force field and base our defenses around that, we can hold our position here for as long as we want.” This was gdnaph, who was now the most senior centurion.

“Very well, Centurion. You may set out the force field amplifiers, and we will establish our perimeter here.”

Princess Icelandia sat in her holding cell. There was not a lot to do. They did give her food, but it was not very good. It did not help that it was shaped like small turds. But it tasted better than that, sort of like an overcooked vegetable stew with no salt or seasonings.

Princess Icelandia tried to observe what was going on in this strange place. Some sounds were one or the other of these creatures walking along. She could see out of the room where she was kept because there was no door. If you tried to go out, there was a very unpleasant feeling, and you wanted to just go back.

Other sounds were harder to figure out. From time to time, fresh air came into the room from a place in the wall with very small openings. Other sounds seemed to be water flowing. Once, it seemed that two of these things got in a fight. No way to tell who won.

I have to give the prisoner her food. She will probably find a way to kill me. She has already killed six crewmen and two officers. Yxxxxccd had a way of exaggerating.

That’s nice. Some of us are going to play tttyyyyuuu when we go off duty. Do you want to play?

I might not come back from there. Better get somebody else.

I hear the Great Overlord has gone completely crazy. He thinks he is the Emperor on his golden throne.

I heard he thinks he is a day-old hatchling in the crèche.

Did you hear what gggfffdd did? He was going to jump-start a dipthonic bifulacator, but he got the positive and negative wires switched. The thing blew up on him.

Icelandia lay on the floor listening to the crew conversations. Wait, she really did not hear all this. Not with her ears. She was sensing it some other way. When she was really little, there was an old servant woman that told tales about a way to hear without hearing. She showed Princess Icelandia how to be very still and wait for it to come to you. She heard the thoughts of two chambermaids in the next room. They were thinking about boys.

Her mistake was telling her Mother about all this. The old servant woman was gone, never to be seen again. Her Mother brought in some other little girls of noble birth to keep her daughter company. After that, there was always a group of people around with no time to listen for voices not heard with your ears.

Yes, you had to still yourself to hear. Right now, she certainly had no crowd of silly girls with their silly talk. She lay quietly on the floor and just was content to be. The things she heard were random, but gradually, patterns started to emerge.

“Hey, new guy!!” Sir Elmer shouted at Sir David.

“Yes, Sir Elmer.” Sir David knew he was the new man and needed to be polite.

“You came in on your own two feet. What happened to your horse?”

“He’s dead.”

“I hope he did not die because you were mean to him. We cannot tolerate a knight who abuses his horse.”

“Sir Elmer, lay off Sir David. Let’s go get something to eat.” The knights had set up camp after a long day of riding.

“Sir Harold, I’m not sure that is a good idea. It is the same thing we have had all week. I mean it is the same thing. Every evening, they bring out the same stale haunches of venison. You can take your knife and cut off a piece and eat it if you really want to.”

“I will be glad to get to sleep tonight.” Sir David tried to join the conversation.

“We have to lay down on the ground in full armor. The King says we must be prepared. I wish I could sleep standing up like a horse.” Sir Bob was trying to decide if he was hungry enough to actually eat.

“Sir David, I thought you would really want to go to chow tonight.”

“Why is that, Sir Elmer?”

“I think we have been eating your horse.”

Cvvvvvqwerty began to come around. That old native could really throw a rock. He looked around and saw that he was alone in a big open area. There was no one else around anywhere.

“Hey, you are awake.”

“Who was that? I don’t see anyone.” Cvvvvvqwerty was feeling disoriented.

“Right here. You must be blind. My name is Chet.”

Cvvvvvqwerty made a further effort to focus some of his eyes, and he finally saw one of the four-footed natives. This one was not carrying anyone and did not wear any metal.

“Are you four-footed beings the actual overlords of this miserable planet?”

“It’s complicated. You must be one of the creatures that came from the sky. You seem to be having a pretty hard time of it.”

“Ohhh. My head hurts, and I need a good meal.”

“There are those of us who sympathize with your plight. If you can come with me, we can help you in any way that you need.”

“I’m not sure I can even stand. That old native hit me really hard with the rock. There is no reason that anyone should act like that. No reason at all.”

“You can crawl, that is fine. Right this way.” Chet started walking slowly, as if to show the way.

Cvvvvvqwerty started crawling to follow Chet. Then Chet stopped so that Cvvvvvqwerty crawled almost up to his back legs. Chet shifted his weight to his front legs and kicked Cvvvvvqwerty right in the head with both rear hooves. Cvvvvvqwerty was out for a lot longer this time. Horses are such liars.

It was stuffy in the tent of The King. The King had a special tent to sit in when they were in camp.

“Your Majesty, was there troubling news in the letter you received?”

“It was from my wife, The Queen. Princess Icelandia has been captured by the enemy. She went for a walk, and they grabbed her. I do not look forward to telling her Father, King Beauford.

“The ladies in waiting showed the place where she was taken. The trail was long cold by then. But they did find one of the invaders, apparently knocked cold. They took him into the dungeon, and some of my people are going to try to talk to him. They can be very persuasive.”

Talk turned to other matters.

“Your Majesty, I instructed the men to get their water from the stream that we just crossed. We need to save the water in the barrels for those who have to wash off the enemies’ blood.”

“Very good, High Marshal deConquerer. How did the men react?”

“I think they understand. Word has spread about Sir Harold, and the scars he has from the enemy blood eating away his flesh.”

“High Marshal, I think these invaders are running from somewhere. From some place that we cannot possibly imagine, but running, nonetheless. They are far from where they came from, and they have no friends to call on for help. We can take them. By “we” I mean all men, from field, forest or whatever else there is.”

“Your Majesty, midday tomorrow we will arrive at the great elm tree that grows from the hill where the stones are piled. I have sent riders ahead, and already King Albright and King Slighbourne are there with their armies. And while our last rider was there, there arrived from the Forest a runner. This man from the Forest announced that soon, very soon, High King Cynth Pahdeur would arrive with a united army of Forest men. A big cheer went up when those assembled heard that. It seems the knights and squires and bowmen all like the idea of the Woodlanders sharing in the combat hazard.”

High King Cynth Pahdeur looked at the great mass of forest men that were gathered in the clearing. Here came another leader who had trained a group.

“Look at the High King and tell him your name.” Ordered the weasely little man who stood in front of the High King.

“Sergeant Hardcastle. I bring forty-eleven men, all trained for war.”

“Well done, Sergeant. You and your men fall in on the left flank. Ask for Colonel Morris.” The High King knew he needed to give affirmation, and he did.

Suddenly, High King Cynth Pahdeur sensed a hostile presence. A man of the Forest learns very early to watch for that.

“The Bodunkerians are assembled, ready and equipped for war.” Chief Bodunk spoke with a tone that bordered on contempt, just waiting for someone to make an issue of it.

High King Cynth Pahdeur grasped his spear a little more firmly, and he made sure he could draw his sword quickly if it came to that.

“Greetings, Chief Bodunk. How many do you bring?”

“It does not matter. My clan can whip everybody else that is here. And we just might do that, if things are not to my liking.”

The High King showed no reaction. This group would be placed front and center, where the fighting would be heaviest. There was something wrong with Chief Bodunk, you could see it in his eyes.

Chief Bodunk was not happy, but then he was never happy. The area controlled by his tribe, the soil was not fertile enough. His wife was not all that pretty. The deer that his men hunted were kind of cross-eyed. Maybe if enough Forest men were killed, his tribe could move into some of the neighboring territories.

“Chief Bodunk, you are in the center. Report to Colonel Forthright.”

A Chief taking orders from a Colonel!! The very idea made him furious. But a few of the High King’s men had moved in closer. He could not take them all. For now, he would go along.

The High King was keeping a running total in his head. There were still some camps that had not yet reported, but his total would be somewhere between two and three thousand. If the Far Reaches came out in a really big way, it could possibly get close to three thousand and a half. Whatever his total came to, it would be far less than the number from the Cultivated Lands. The Forest men would have to behave themselves while with their new allies. No matter. These invaders from the sky, they would give lots of opportunity for war. The Woodlanders loved war; it was their favorite thing in the whole world. Good times lay ahead.

“Eric, fetch my helmet.”

“Yes, Father.” Eric rummaged through a pile of who-knows-what looking for his Father’s parade helmet. They were planning to enter the rallying point at the big elm tree, and they wanted to impress the armies that were already present. Here it was. Eric grabbed an old rag and tried to polish the ornate helmet.

“Spit on it, then polish harder. And hurry it up.”

“Yes, Father.” Eric had been pleased when he was told that his Father’s valet was not coming to war. He never did like the fussy little man. But Eric was not at all pleased when he realized that HE would be doing the work of his Father’s valet. He was the crown prince, the heir to the throne. He longed for the actual war to start, so that he could distinguish himself.

Finally, all was ready. Every man of them had cleaned up and combed his hair to look his best. The King was sitting on his snow-white stallion, Albion. Albion was even wearing his earrings. The King was wearing his parade helmet and ceremonial armor. The parade helmet was highly polished steel with a stylized crown built into it. His cape had a tapestry of Saint Vernon slaying the two-headed griffin.

“High Marshal, is all in readiness?” This was a highly rhetorical question. The King could see that they were all standing at attention awaiting his order.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Then order the column forward.”

In a cottage just off the road was an old woman. She had not heard any of the commotion because she was deaf as a post. She was just working at her loom, making a bolt of coarse broadcloth. From time to time, she would look out the window of her cottage.

Just in time to see The King. On his head was something like a crown, and he was riding the brightest, whitest horse she had ever seen. Just looking at that horse, you could tell that he was very stuck up.

Behind The King rode another ornately dressed man. His horse was glossy black. That man was not going to put up with any baloney, not from anyone.

Next was an old man with a pointed hat and a tattered gray robe. He carried a wooden staff. This staff had something at the top of it that was kind of hard to understand. His horse was acting strangely. It was like the horse was insane, if that makes any sense.

Then came the knights. They rode five abreast. If they all wanted to stay on the road, it would have had to be one abreast. But they rode five abreast, spilling out onto the fields on both sides. Very impressive.

I forgot to tell you, they all were moving at an easy trot. The old woman wondered why the knights in all their armor did not make any noise. Actually, they were making quite a lot of clanking and clattering noises as they rode by. The old woman tended to forget that she was deaf.

Finally, the archers appeared. They had to run pretty hard to keep up with the horses. The old woman did not see them because she had gone back to her loom.

Ron, Brett, and Casey were running a little behind the last regiment of knights. Mark was just in front of them.

“We have to go running into the camp just to impress everyone. Everyone there should be worried about trying to impress us.” Ron was not a happy archer.

“Ron, when the enemy sees us, they will just fall down right then and there.” Casey was trying to cheer everybody up. “Everybody knows how good looking we are.”

Suddenly, Mark was running backwards so he could talk to them. “No, that’s not right at all. They will fall down when they see how ugly you are.”

“Mark, are you saying all of us are ugly?”

“Not me. Just the three of you.”

Eric wanted to hit somebody. Really bad, he wanted to hit somebody. For a while, Norman served that purpose, but then he got too quick for Eric. Quickness, not speed or strength, is the most use in the confined spaces of a castle. Eric figured he would have his chance soon. There would be a tremendous battle, and he would have a chance to smash a lot of people. That would be nice. Very nice.

The second assistant engineers mate stood just out of sight of the Great Overlord. Both times he had spoken to the Great Overlord, the results had not been encouraging. But he was not giving up. The position of Lesser Overlord was open. If he showed that he had initiative and could get things done, he might rise to the position of Lesser Overlord. And once there, it was not inconceivable that he could become the Great Overlord. The Great Overlord they had now was not handling things very well. Right now, he was sitting on his gilded throne playing quadra-blocks, where you matched these falling blocks into patterns.

No sense putting it off any longer. “Great Overlord, we have some allies.”

“Huh?? What do you mean?”

“Great Overlord, I have been speaking to a number of the natives. Many of them are not satisfied with their place in society. They have to work hard, and their only reward is a small portion of coarse food. Others are confined to prisons, when their only crime was to kill someone who deserved it anyway. Living in the wilderness, there are a surprising number of people who are hiding from the authorities and their unjust laws.”

“You know, I really do not care if these creatures are treated fairly or not.”

“Great Overlord, I have gathered together a considerable number of these natives who are not happy with their lot in life. I have been telling them that if they help us overthrow those who rule over them, then they will be the important ones and they will have lots of nice food to eat.”

“You surely must know that I have given orders that we are to kill all of the natives of this planet. And here you are, saying that you are going to let them live on this wretched planet with us.”

“Great Overlord, they do not have to know all this. We will get some of the natives to help us wipe out the rest of them. When that is done, it will be easy to eliminate the ones that have helped us.

“Great Overlord, a number of these auxiliary troops are gathered outside our ship. They would be greatly honored if you would come out and review them. Just a moment of your time.”

Randy stood with the others outside the great shining mountain of metal. He was part of The Peoples’ Free Army. It felt so good to be a part of something with people who had the same opinion that he did. Phooey on that stupid Vincent and his new friend, Norman. He would not be surprised if Norman could actually read and write.

“Hey, Randy!! I heard you can read and write.” This was from a dull looking Woodlander to Randy’s right. His greatest joy was to hurl this horrible insult at anyone and everyone. He was a little too big for Randy to fight.

“Shut up, Dumph. Something is happening over there.”

The alien that had spoken to them earlier was coming out of the great shining mountain. Now another one was coming out. This second one somehow seemed more important. Randy was pretty shrewd about things like that.

The Great Overlord and the second assistant engineers mate just stood there for a long moment. Finally, the second assistant engineers mate picked up the loudspeaker and spoke in the Woodlander language:

“The Great Overlord had inspected you, and he says that you are a great fighting force like none has ever been before. You can all be proud of what you have become.

“General Quisling will show you how to construct the defenses around our base here. None of those fancy knights or the Woodlanders who serve as their running dogs will ever penetrate your defenses. Victory will be ours.”

A great cheer went up from the fighting force. The second assistant engineers mate had indeed assembled a body of men (mainly men, at least) who were in debt, wanted for a crime, in trouble with their King, or maybe they just wanted something different in life. There will always be those not happy with the status quo.

Randy thought back a few weeks. Vincent and Norman had left to join the army under the High King. Randy did not. He camped by the creek, once in a while catching a fish to eat. This time of year, it was not hard to do. He spent his days in an elaborate pout. He did not even know what it was about; he was just mad at everyone. It was his absolute right to be out of sorts about everything.

A man came to his little camp. “Some of us who are not happy about things are coming together to do something about it. This is a time we can change things around.”

“I am NOT going to join the army of the High King. This High King can go jump in the creek.”

“This is something different. The High King is working with others who are also in power to protect the power they all have. I am talking about those who are at the bottom of the barrel rising up to take what they have been long denied.” This man never did give his name; he just started talking.

“I tried stealing from a neighbor’s garden a couple of years ago. I got caught, and it went real hard with me.”

“I am talking way bigger than that. All of us who have been long held down are rising up. The beings from the sky, they are the ones who are showing us the way to enlightenment.”

Suddenly, Randy was interested. “This will be fighting with the beings that came from the sky?” Stupid Vincent and stinking Norman were going to fight against these same beings.

“Yes, they came from the celestial regions above and are showing us the path to enlightenment. There will be peace and plenty for all after we smash and destroy all those who oppose us.”

Randy stood up. “I am ready. Which way do I go?”

“Go to where an underground stream goes out of the Forest and runs into the Cultivated Lands. Step out of the Forest at that place and lift up your eyes. There will be an immense mountain of metal. The glorious ones came from the sky in this mountain of metal. At that place are gathering many just like you. You will be told what to do after that.”

Randy knew the place. Some sort of pipe came out of the Forest. It usually was trickling some water. It must have been left over from a civilization that disappeared long ago.

Randy set out in the direction the stranger indicated. He moved quickly and with purpose.

Princess Icelandia was very bored. When she was a little girl, her nurse had told her a story about a captive princess who used a loom to weave herself a pair of wings. She flew out the window of the tower where she was imprisoned and went to live with the butterflies.

If only she could walk out the door of the room where she was being held. It was just an opening in the wall without any kind of door, but there was some kind of powerful magic that prevented her going out. She had tried more than once.

What kind of magic, she wondered. She idly strolled over and put her hand out. Her hand went through the doorway into the corridor. The magic was gone; it was just an open doorway.

Icelandia strolled along the featureless metal corridor. Several of the compartments were empty. Some had things in them the purpose of which she could not guess.

Here came a couple of the creatures. When she was in her Father’s castle, she would just act like she had a definite purpose and knew where she was going. She did this now, walking at a somewhat brisk pace with a purposeful look on her face.

“Gggghhj, why is she just walking around the ship? She is breaking the rules!!”

“Uuuiio, what if the Great Overlord had given orders that she be let out for exercise? It would be mutiny for us to say anything.”

“But what if she makes a mess?”

“Whoever is closest to the mess has to clean it up. Keep walking!!”

Icelandia also kept walking, but now she had something to think about. As at other times, she had understood what they said. They did not make any kind of audible sound, but somehow, she had wordlessly understood the ideas that had gone back and forth between Gggghhj and Uuuiio. They did not know she could read their thoughts, but she could see what they were saying and thinking. She would gather intelligence about these demons, and find a way to use it against them.