The Book of Azrael (Gods & Monsters 1)

SHADOWS SEPARATED IN WAVES AROUND ALISTAIR AND ME AS WE PORTALED HOME TO NOVAS. Warm salt air greeted us, the eerily quiet soon following. Novas was an island off the coast of Kashvenia, but it wasn’t just any island. It jutted out of the vast ocean like a ferocious beast threatening to claim the surrounding sea. I always assumed it was another fragment that fell to our world during the Gods War. Kaden had claimed it, shaped it, and made it his own. It was our home, I suppose, although home was a latent term. Novas never felt like home to me. Home was with my sister who I barely got to see.

I heaved several of the thick black trash bags across my shoulder and followed Alistair. The sand stuck to our blood-soaked shoes, making the trek even more cumbersome. Trees lined the vast landscape, the sun peeking through the many branches, creating a soft peaceful glow. It was deceptive, soft and peaceful were things not known here. The beach itself seemed welcoming. The soft spray of salt scented the air as waves lapped at the shore. The crystal blue water was inviting, if you didn’t take into account what lurked beneath the surface.

‘It’s quiet,’ I said as our feet hit the pebbled, lava rock path. ‘It’s never quiet.’

Alistair paused, glancing at me for a second. ‘Securing Peter took a little bit longer than we thought, I guess.’

I shook my head and sighed, knowing he was right. If we were late, Kaden would be pissed regardless of the information we’d secured. This unnatural silence was not a good sign of his mood.

We kept going, our pace slowing as the large structure greeted us. Several steps lined the opening leading up to the twin double doors. Iron styled fences encompassed the front, adding a modern twist to the massive home he’d carved out of the active volcano that kept adding to Novas island.

We pushed the doors open and entered. Heat greeted us warm and crisp, but not overbearing. Kaden’s home realm was sealed and long forgotten after the Gods War. He had said that where he came from was much warmer than Etherworld and this was the closest he could get to the feel of home.

The large door closed behind us as I dropped the heavy bags on the floor. I placed my hands on my hips, and called out, ‘Honey, I’m home!’ My voice rang out through the vast open-ended entry way.

Alistair scoffed and rolled his eyes. He, too, dropped the large bags he’d carried next to his feet.

‘Childish.’ The word echoed from above us as Tobias hung over the large balcony that lined the second floor. The skylights above danced across his deep ebony skin as he adjusted the cuff link of the dark blue button-up he wore.

Alistair let out a low whistle. ‘All dressed up, are we? Has it started already?’

Tobias shot him a quick smile that reached his eyes as he regarded Alistair. It was one I never received from Kaden’s third in command ‘You’re late.’ His eyes cut to mine, quick as a viper’s and just as venomous. ‘You both are.’

I didn’t say anything, only rolled my eyes. I had grown used to Tobias’s less than friendly demeanor. He had never said, but I assumed his antipathy toward me was a result of me becoming Kaden’s second in command when I was made. Which made Tobias third and Alistair fourth, not that Alistair cared. As long as Alistair had a home and food, he couldn’t care less who Kaden preferred.

‘Oh, but just wait until you hear why,’ Alistair said. ‘Also, we brought dinner for the Irvikuva.’

The Irvikuva.

Tobias’s lips turned upward as he looked at the bags surrounding us and back. ‘They will be grateful, but you two need to get ready as the others arrive. Have someone else bring it to them. We don’t have time.’

As if on a cue, the very creatures he referred to started to sing, and my gaze dropped to the stone floor. A chill ran up my spine at the chorus of laughter if it could even be called that. It always reminded me of hyenas. I knew how far down they were and it always astounded me how the acoustics worked that we could still hear them. Miles of tunnels snaked their way into the mountain, connecting rooms, chambers, and dungeons through numerous levels.

‘Is he locking them up while we have guests?’ I asked, raising a single brow as I looked at Alistair and then to Tobias up on the balcony.

Alistair and Tobias shared a grin before Alistair shook his head at me and moved toward the back of the house. Tobias pushed off the banister disappearing upstairs as I stood there. I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my arms as I looked back down at the floor as if I could see through it.

‘Guess that answered that question.’ I sighed.

It wasn’t like I was scared of them, Kaden had made plenty of Ig’Morruthens since his time here, but they weren’t like me, Alistair, or Tobias. No, they looked more like the horned gargoyles humans plastered on their buildings. Sometimes I wondered if they had seen the Ig’Morruthen beasts and copied them in their art, trying to banish their instinctual fear of the monsters.

The beasts were powerful and vicious, craving blood and flesh. They could communicate, but saying they could talk was giving them too much credit. They could mimic, but their speech was limited, to say the least.

Footsteps came from the outer hall as a few of Kaden’s lackeys approached and stopped near me. I kicked the bag closest to me with the tip of my heel. ‘Take these downstairs and make sure they eat. I have to get ready for a meeting with the who’s who of the Otherworld.’

The clicking of my heels echoed as I made my way down the winding obsidian staircase to Kaden’s main hall. Although I always referred to it as his ego feeder, everything in this place screams megalomaniac, from the tapestries to the extravagant furniture.

Voices filled the hallway as lights flickered against the stone walls. I picked up my pace, smoothing the edges of the sleek black dress I’d thrown on. I had known I was going to be late but I’d had to take the time to wash the blood off of me. The voices grew louder as I got closer. Fuck, a full house.

Two more of Kaden’s lackeys stood at the double doors of the meeting hall. They wore suits I knew they couldn’t afford, but was a part of their uniform for tonight. Kaden had promised eternal life to those that pleased him and bent to his will, but I knew they would likely be reduced to the mindless beasts rather than end up as Alistair, Tobias, or I. They bowed as I drew near and I swallowed a breath to calm my nerves. Without breaking stride, I donned the face of The Bloodthirsty Queen. It was who they were expecting, who they feared, and rightly so. She had earned her reputation over the centuries.

Voices died as soon as I stepped over the threshold and entered the massive meeting hall.

Double fuck.

There were way more Otherworld creatures here than I had expected. The dark waves of my hair cascaded around my shoulders and down my back as I held my head high and strode toward the long obsidian table that dominated the room. It was lined with chairs made out of the same sharp stone that made up this volcanic cavern. The walls surrounding us held tall, barrel shaped torches that held a dim lit flame.

Eyes bore into every inch of me, but the ones that made me pause, made me hesitate, were the ones burning crimson.

Kaden. My maker, my lover, and the only reason my sister lived. She was why I did every single thing he asked.

Kaden stood at the helm of the table, his hands behind his back. His eyes met mine for a split second. He was beautiful, the tan and white suit offset against his rich brown skin, but only the ignorant would not see the monster that lay in wait beneath his handsome demeanor.

I heard footsteps behind me. Good, I wasn’t the last to arrive. I took my place at Kaden’s right as the remainder of the attendees entered. Kaden did not speak or greet me, not that I expected him to. No, his focus stayed on who was coming and who hadn’t shown. Murmurs and whispers slowly died as everyone filed in. They stood, waiting for Kaden to sit before they would dare.

Tobias stood on Kaden’s left, twirling the silver chain around his neck between his fingers as he surveyed the room as the last few attendees entered. He was always keen and always watching, one of Kaden’s generals for a deadly reason. Alistair stood near him, no longer bloody and wearing a white button up shirt and dress pants. I watched as he leaned over, whispering to Tobias.

The vampires sent a second. He nor his brother showed.’

I looked at where the king of the vampires would normally be sitting and saw that Alistair was right. The area where Ethan and his people would have been was now occupied by four lower members.

Triple fuck.

Tobias nodded, dropping his chain and looking toward Kaden. Kaden’s nostrils flared, the only indicator he was pissed.

To the right of the table stood the Habrick Coven. At least ten male and female witches were in attendance, all arranged perfectly around their leader Santiago. His hair had so much gel in it my nose burned. His suit fit tighter than the black dress I wore, and that was saying something. He met my gaze and smiled slowly as if he’d caught me admiring him. His eyes roamed over me like they always did and it made my stomach lurch. With his good looks, he assumed that no woman could resist him, saying yes to whatever he desired. He was wrong and had learned that over the last few years in his many attempts to get into my pants.

I shook my head and turned back to face the room. Even with the number of Otherworld creatures that showed, I felt it still wasn’t enough for Kaden. He was their king, the king of all kings, and he wanted his due. As if he’d read my mind he turned toward me and adjusted his suit jacket before giving me a regal nod.

Showtime.

I raised my hands, summoning the power he’d given me. Flames erupted in my palms circling and dancing before I tossed a ball of energy toward each tall cauldron style torch in the room. Flames grew, illuminating the room and casting shadows in the far corners as a small hush calmed the room.

Kaden sat and I lowered the flames to a dull pulsating dance. One by one the clans, covens, and their leaders sat, too. Kaden’s eyes swept the room as he drummed his fingers against the table in a steady beat. No one said anything, not a word.

‘I will say I am happy with those who made it.’ Kaden’s voice filled the room. To some he would sound calm and collected. All I heard was rage.

‘Santiago. Your coven is lovely as ever.’ He nodded toward him as the witches held his gaze, proud and powerful. I admired them, even if I hated their leader.

‘The dream eaters.’ He motioned toward the clan of Baku sitting next to Santiago’s coven. Their eyes seemed to showcase a smile they physically couldn’t. Where a mouth should be, there was just a slit with skin stretching across it in diagonal lines. They were creepy bastards, and ones I tended to avoid. Through the centuries, I had heard stories that some clans were actually peaceful and were called upon to expel and eat nightmares. I had only encountered the ones that instilled terror into dreams, for the right price.

Kaden’s voice shook me back to reality as he went on. ‘The mind yielding screamers,’ I noted the banshees on the left. They were an assortment of dark- and light -haired women, the clan consisting of only females. Apparently, the gene relied heavily on both X chromosomes. All that attended were dressed in blazers or some type of fitted dress that screamed money. No pun intended.

Their leader, Sasha, had her long, almost blue tinged hair pulled back in a half up half down style and wore a silk pants suit with an open front blazer. She was nearly a hundred years old but looking at her she was a woman in her prime. They definitely had style, but I had seen Sasha use those death-screams on someone, causing their head to rupture into several pieces. It took weeks to get the brain matter off of my favorite shoes.

‘I see the powerful.’ Kaden motioned toward the Shades who only nodded in response. Their bodies moved in waves like smoke and were tricky creatures. They were a clan of assassins, and were controlled by one leader, Kash. If you took him out it would be bye-bye night assassins. The only problem was, you would have to get close enough to him. His family, like most, rose to power over the centuries, cutting a bloody path for anyone who paid well. I did admire their loyalty to Kaden though. I’m sure several factions had paid Kash and his family to at least attempt a hit on my scary boss but the Shades had never betrayed him.

‘I see the ferocious beasts of legend.’ Kaden’s still crimson eyes focused on the werewolves. This pack was led by Caleb and held in high regard throughout our world. He was quiet unless spoken to, but the power he gave off with just a look made goosebumps run across my arms. His dark hair was clipped close to his head along with the beard that decorated his face. Maybe he could teach Santiago how to do his hair and it would not look like a slicked mess. I snickered to myself which made Alistair cut his eyes to me as I tried to cover it with a cough. I liked Caleb.

These werewolves were not the typical horror movie ones. Their wolf forms were more wolf, but their size alone would scare anyone, mortal or not. The males tended to be a little stouter than the females of their pack, but the females were more vicious.

Caleb kept his family to themselves, but they came every time Kaden called. They were elusive and secretive, preferring to stay out of politics as much as possible, but they were all here, nonetheless.

‘I mean, even the human council showed.’ Kaden gave Elijah and his group a slight nod. Elijah was middle-aged with a distinguished smattering of gray at his temples. He adjusted his suit as if, in a room full of monsters, he was important. Kaden had helped the politician, gaining a great informant and an even better source of money laundering.

Kaden’s eyes rolled as he focused on the three sitting vampires. ‘And yet, only a handful of the blood stealers show.’ His voice dripped with venom and the energy in the room tightened. Everyone tensed, the quiet a thrum in the room as Kaden’s fingers stopped drumming against the table.

‘Where is your king?’ It was a loaded question and one I knew had no right answer.

One man stood, straightening his tie and suit jacket as he cleared his throat. ‘Mr. Vanderkai was unable to make it and sends his deepest apologies. Others have been testing his current rule and he is dealing with that at the moment.’

Kaden leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in front of him as he stared at the vampire. It was quiet for what felt like ages, but was only mere minutes. The man shifted from one foot to another, and if vampires could sweat, I knew he would be.

‘He seems to have a lot of those problems lately.’ Kaden finally said, his tone light as he resumed his tapping on the table ‘When was the last time he showed?’ Kaden asked, turning toward Tobias.

Tobias’s eyes bore into the vampire, a smirk edging his features. ‘It’s been a while, my liege. Months.’

Kaden nodded, his lips turning upward. ‘Months.’

‘Yes,’ the gentleman cleared his throat, but the prince has taken his place at the last few meetings.’

‘Yes, the brother, and where is he?’

‘He couldn’t make it. Both wanted to be here, I assure you, but they really needed a strong hand to deal with some of the issues we are currently experiencing.’ The words felt forced as if he knew what would happen if he lied.

‘I get that,’ Kaden said. I heard collective breaths being released, the tension subsiding from some of those around the table. But not for me, and not for anyone who really knew him. ‘It’s hard keeping balance. Especially among others during times like these. When compared to what we once were, what the world once was, our numbers are small in the grand scheme of things. Threats loom and anxiety and fear get the better of us. That’s why, above all else, we have to stick together.’ The tapping stopped as he leaned forward. ‘You know what I mean?’

The vampire nodded once. ‘Yes. I agree.’

Lie.

Kaden smiled slowly, a pure white, menacing gleam. He slammed his hand onto the table and the room shook. The doors at the entrance slammed shut, trapping all of us. The table split in half, separating, and pushing everyone to the sides as a blistering thick steam billowed into the room. No one jumped or moved, staying in their seats. If they felt fear, they didn’t show it. They knew what was coming, and the one thing Kaden hated more than anything was weakness. Kaden stood, a king before his pit because that’s exactly what it was, a hollow echoing pit.

I swallowed the lump growing in my throat as I watched, keeping my hands folded in the center of my lap. I could see Tobias and Alistair, shit eating grins lighting up their faces. The temperature in the room increased, molten lava swirling in the hole at the center of the room. Smoke curled upward as hot volcanic bubbles popped on its surface.

‘Go ahead. Get in.’ Kaden waved the vampires toward the pit.

‘You’re insane,’ the female vampire spat as another scanned the room, looking for another exit. The remaining Otherworld creatures in the room made no motion to help. They knew Kaden’s wrath wasn’t for them.

Kaden’s laugh echoed through the smoke -filled room as he placed a hand on his chest. ‘Am I? Or do I just not like insubordination? Dianna.’ My eyes swung toward him. ‘If you would be so kind as to help our friends.’

Without saying anything, I slowly turn my head back toward the vampires. I stood, keeping my eyes on them, my hands flexing at my sides as I walked toward them. The Otherworld creatures tensed as I passed, but their faces betrayed nothing. I was Kaden’s weapon. I was powerful, and they knew it. I knew it. I was a blade made of fire and flesh.

Kaden’s voice echoed as he continued. ‘Maybe I have trust issues. You see, this isn’t the only time your king has had these inconveniences, and given our time frame and what we have to accomplish,’ I stopped next to one of the female vampires and she looked at me with fear in her eyes. ‘I just cannot have weakness.’

She screamed as I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her toward the pit. Her spiked heels caught my shin a few times as she fought against my hold, but the struggle was brief. I tossed her over the edge, her screams lasting mere seconds as she fell. Flames flared around her body as she hit the lava pool and was consumed.

Another vampire ran past me in a last ditch effort to flee. I snapped my arm out with blurring speed. Talons burst from my fingertips as I made impact, puncturing his gut. He gasped, his body curled around my hand as he gripped my wrist and met my gaze. Fear and another emotion I couldn’t catch crossed his face as I lifted him and tossed him to the fire below.

The third went much like the second. He tried to escape, tried to fight, but in the end his screams for mercy echoed off the obsidian walls as I launched him into the lava. I wiped my clawed hand across my blood-splattered cheek as I strode to the last living vampire in the room. He had given up, knowing there was no way out and nowhere to run, he had curled into a ball on the stone floor. I grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket, lifting him and turning to hold him over the pit. A soft shine of tears coated his yellow eyes. ‘Please,’ he begged, ‘I have a family.’

Family. The word echoed in my mind, and I felt my canines retract. The blood lust nipped at my heels, begging me to succumb, to let my beast off the chain. Family. The word was like a pulse, reminding me that this wasn’t me. Each beat of my heart was for her, and remembering that she existed brought me back from the edge of madness. Family. This time the word was wrapped in the sound of my sister’s laughter, and with it came the memory.

Gabby shook her head, laughing at me as I tried and failed to land a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

‘You have a terrible aim for a superbeing.’ She giggled as she threw a handful at me.

I kicked my foot out, hitting her softly in the leg ‘Hey, I’m the trained killer here.’

She burst out laughing. ‘Please! You cried at the end of The Locket.’

‘That was a sad movie. It had a sad ending. You just pick terrible movies.’

We laughed about that dumb movie for hours it felt like. We sat on the overpriced couch I’d bought her as a graduation gift, and made a complete mess of the apartment she loved so much. Her graduation was months ago, and I hadn’t seen her since.

The pain of that thought forced me from the memory. I blinked a few times at the vampire I held suspended over the void as the world came back into focus. Family. Beyond the hazy smoke, I met the twin red flames of Kaden’s eyes. The message was unspoken, but still clear. Don’t hesitate, don’t think, just finish it because if he sensed weakness in me, he would take her too. Without breaking eye contact with Kaden, I retracted my claws from the vampire’s neck and opened my hand, letting him fall into the pit.

Kaden smiled as the man disappeared. He willed that portal beneath us closed, and the table moved with the occupants still seated, sealing itself back in place. The creak of the door behind me flooded the now all too silent room as the remaining smoke seeped into the hall. A few people coughed and adjusted their chairs, the stone scraping against the floor.

I looked at the crimson stain that decorated my knuckles and nails before dropping my hands to my sides. I held my head high, my feet moving before my brain registered what I was doing as I walked back to Kaden’s side. Alistair and Tobias were watching me, assessing me, but I didn’t show any emotion at being covered in gore. I stood facing forward, my hands clasped in front of me.

No weakness. Ever.

‘Now that you have taken care of that, why have you called us here?’ Kash, the leader of the shades, asked. His accent was thick as the shades shuffled behind their puppet master.

‘Simple. I have word of the Book of Azrael.’

Several gasps and whispers filled the room as Kaden finally sat. Alistair, Tobias, and I remained standing. We were always on point, fearless and destructive.

‘Impossible,’ the leader of the Baku hissed.

There was a moment of silence and then everyone began talking at once, all agreeing with the Baku, arguing that the book was nothing more than myth. The sound of so many raised voices was overwhelming in the stone hall. The werewolves were the only ones not speaking. They just sat, watching and listening.

It didn’t surprise me that it was the human politician, Elijah, that was heard over the rest. ‘Even if this text was found, it’s been thousands of years since the Gods War. How would we read it?’

‘Read it?’ Santiago scoffed. ‘If it’s even real, you know what it brings with it.’

Silence fell as they all looked at Kaden.

‘The World Ender,’ a soft feminine voice said from the left corner. Everyone turned to look at Sasha and her sisters. The banshees had been quiet since this started, almost as quiet as the werewolves. Sasha’s eyes glazed over as if she were lost in thought. It wasn’t until someone tapped her on the shoulder that she realized she’d spoken aloud. Her long, blue hair shook with her head as she straightened her white suit coat and cleared her throat.

‘Ah, yes,’ Kaden said, rubbing his chin before placing his hands upon the table. ‘The fabled World Ender. The legend. The Son of Unir. Wielder of the Blade of Oblivion. And where is he?’ No one spoke. ‘Exactly. He hasn’t been seen or heard of since their home world, Rashearim, blew up. A destruction that was caused by him, correct? Isn’t that how the story goes? He is the boogeyman of the Otherworld. Stories to keep you all in line.’

‘They aren’t stories. They are true. The Otherworld itself is outside of our reach because of him, because of them,’ Santiago interjected. The witches with him nodded, staying close. Their eyes were fixated on us, waiting for us to strike or make a move for Santiago speaking out of turn. ‘Celestials still walk this plane. The Hand still walks this plane, and if The Hand still exists then it has a body, a head. The World Ender is that head.’

‘And heads can be severed.’ Kaden’s words were venom.

Silence fell once more, the words sinking in. I smelled it before the rest did. Fear. My life and time in Kaden’s world had not been as long as most, but to see how they feared this World Ender over Kaden spoke volumes.

‘I get it. You all fear him. But he is not what you think he is, even if he lives. He has not been seen for centuries, pay no attention to the fables others have built in this image. If he was as strong and skilled as they say, where is he? I have destroyed hundreds of his kind, and yet he does not show. He is a coward, weak, damaged. He is not a god as the ones before him. He has no real power, but we do. They tell you their lies, trying to shove them down your throats. They want to bend you to their will. Once I have that book, we will rule. All of us. No longer bound to the shadows or repressed by those who deem us unworthy, less than. Change happened the minute they spilled their own blood on their own world. And now?’ He stood and leaned forward, his hands splayed against the table. He met the gaze of each leader and only a few of them shifted in their seats. ‘Now it’s time to take back what is ours. What was stolen from us. We had no choice before they sealed the realms. None. How many of your people are beyond those doors? Hmm?’ He pointed towards Santiago then the others. ‘Or yours or yours? Do you wonder if they still live?’

That hit a mark.

‘And this book? You have it?’ the leader of the shades asked.

Kaden clicked his tongue. ‘That’s the next part. I do not have it yet, but soon. Elijah,’ he pointed toward the human and his council, ‘has been kind enough to provide intel on the celestials. We have infiltrated their ranks, which is the reason I called you all here. We need to be united. Once I start the process of opening the realms, we can’t be seen as weak.’ He looked where the vampires had been and back to the others. ‘Not even for a second. I need you all with me, and if you’re not—‘ He glanced at the center of the table, letting the threat hang above them.

One by one they all agreed by saying yes in their native tongue. The werewolves were the last to speak and I knew I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

The water ran brown in the obsidian sink as I washed the gore from first my face first then my hands. Every day since Kaden had turned me, I had scrubbed blood from my body. I had become a creature that could rip memories from blood, summon flame in an instant, and bend shape into any beast I wished. Every single time I had to feed, I felt less human. But it was the price I paid for her life. The sad part? I didn’t hate it, especially compared to the alternative. I slipped up today for the first time in years. I hesitated and he’d seen it. I turned the water off and grabbed a hand towel from the shelf, wiping away the specks of blood that still clung to the side of my face. My reflection showed me a shadow of the person I used to be. My face was harder now, the lines of my cheeks and jaw sculpted. The sharpness of my features was alluring to everyone except me. I remembered my face softer, kinder maybe. The edge of the cloth grazed my lips, the plump softness that shielded canines sharper than steel when the monster inside me clawed its way to the surface.

I was beautiful, they said, exotic to most. The words made me inwardly flinch as if I’d been slapped in the face. I knew what I was. I was deadly, cruel, and lethal. For her, for us, I had allowed Kaden to leash me. I had carved her a place of peace with claws and broken bones, paying for her safety with rivers of blood.

‘Please I have a family’

The desperation in his voice echoed in my head. I closed my eyes tightly, drowning it out. I tossed the cloth to the side and grabbed the sides of the sink. My fingers dug into the granite until I felt pieces of it crumble beneath my hands. Were they not the same words I’d whispered that night years ago? I’d sat on the floor cradling her, holding her hand. As the cold feel of death gripped her skin, I’d begged someone, anyone to help her, save her. I’d been willing to offer my body, my life, my soul, anything to anyone who would answer. The worst part was Kaden was not always like this. There were moments brief if ever that I remembered when a flicker of emotion of caring would shine through. Those moments were why I stayed. Even now, when I imagined tearing him limb from limb, a memory forces its way forward despite trying to keep it back.

A warm cloth wipes the edge of my lip as those hazel brown eyes stare at me. I see my reflection behind Kaden in the dim lit bathroom as he cleans my face.

‘I know it’s a lot at first but you will get used to it.’

‘What’s happening to me?’

His head tilts ‘What you wished for.’ He stands fully moving to the sink and ringing water from the small ceramic bowl he had. I look different in my reflection but not. I don’t feel differently, just stronger. So much stronger. He turns back to me as she squats near me.

His eyes scan my face every once before he raises a hand cupping my chin, his thumb running across my lip ‘How do you feel?’

‘Better, stronger.’ I pause as I glance at him ‘Warm.’ And it was true my entire body felt like it was on fire. He moved his hand curling strands of hair behind my ear as he watched me. The tender look in his eyes eased the tight knots of anxiety in my chest.

‘Gabby. How is Gabby?’

His hand stopped ‘Perfectly fine. I collapsed with a sigh of relief, my head falling to his shoulder. Kaden went rigged as if affection was not something he was not used to. A second then another passed before he even attempted to move and I felt his hand slowly caress down the back of my head. The tension and desperation that knotted my body since Gabby’s diagnosis dissipated. I did it. I saved her.

I lean upwards as I lift a trembling hand, pressing my palm to where his heart should be, whispering, ‘Thank you.’

A look swift as a blade crosses his face before Kaden brushes a lock of my hair out of my face, he looks up towards me. Never have I allowed another to see me so weak, so…fragile. But Kaden didn’t change the way he looked at me, for a moment his eyes flicker with tenderness. ‘She will be safe here. You both will.’ He murmurs, his voice rumbling his chest. ‘I promise.’

‘Everything okay?’

My eyes flew open, and soft brown irises looked back at me, no longer those iridescent embers. I stared at Kaden through the mirror as he leaned against the bathroom door, seeming to take up more than his fair share of space. He was taller than me which was saying something since I was well over average height for most women. I wasn’t a cute, petite little thing like every movie or book craved. I was lacking in the breast department but made up for it in my hips. They were the only curvy part of me. I was lean, with strong supple muscles, a fighter in every sense of the word. After my turning, I’d trained every day with Alistair, Tobias, and even Kaden. I’d been beaten until I’d passed out more times than not. It had been years until I’d learned to hold my own. Kaden had wanted warriors, and I’d soon learned why.

With his arms folded, and a look of intrigue on his face, he stepped forward. It wasn’t the look of worry, not like normal people would understand. I knew he didn’t care about my well-being, only that I was still in line, still obedient.

‘I’m fine, just a little tired,’ I responded, standing a little straighter.

His eyes narrowed slightly. ‘Hmm.’

‘I want to go see my sister.’

He pushed off the doorframe as his lips turned down in a small frown. ‘Not now.’

I’d known he would say that. It had been months since I had seen her and I missed her. He used her like bait. Do what he asked and I would be rewarded with visits, even as they became fewer and farther between.

‘Remember that I love you.’

She had said those words just before we’d hung up the last time I’d spoken to her on the phone. Damn, I couldn’t even remember when that was. It seemed her voice flooded my head often these last few weeks, keeping me grounded, and more important, keeping me human.

Kaden’s footsteps were light as he came up behind me. I straightened, watching his reflection move closer. He stopped a few inches away from me, his chin resting above my head. He lifted his hands, gathering the strands of hair from around my face and gently pulling them back. He ran his fingers through the silky mass as if he enjoyed the sensation, his gaze holding mine captive in the mirror.

‘You hesitated.’

He knew.

His right hand slid down my hair once more before reaching the ends and drifting over my bare back. ‘Something you want to tell me?’

‘Not for the reasons you think.’ I kept my eyes on him through the mirror, refusing to look away. Just like an animal in the wild, take your eyes off your prey for a second and it’s over.

‘Mhhm,’ he murmured as he dragged his fingers along my spine, stopping at my lower back. His hand trailed upward dipping beneath the thin seam of my dress. I shivered against him, still not breaking eye contact. A small smile softened the curve of his lips before he dipped his head toward my neck. ‘You’re so beautiful.’ His words danced across my skin, his breath quickening the pulse thrumming beneath his mouth. His tongue flicked against my skin, sending another shudder through me as his hand moved higher to cup my breast. He teased his thumb across my nipple slowly, deliberately dragging a soft moan from me. I leaned back against him, rocking my hips, feeling the length of him pressed against my ass.

His lips trailed from my neck to my jaw leaving a blistering trail. ‘You belong to me. You are mine in every way.’ He kissed and nibbled every place he touched. ‘Do you understand?’

I nodded, and let my head fall back against his shoulder, allowing him better access. The thin line between pleasure and pain always elicited a response from me, and he knew it. He reached up with his free hand and fisted it in my hair, tilting my head to the side. He leaned into me, pushing me harder against the sink, leaving no room for me to escape. My eyes flew open as I felt the touch of talons against the curve of my breast. He opens his eyes, and kisses the shell of my ear. His burning red gaze bores into me as he drags those sharp claws to the center of my chest.

‘But I can’t have weakness, even from you. Not now, not when we are this close. Do you understand?’

I nodded as his nails pricked my skin. Ig’Morruthens were strong and almost impossible to kill. Almost. We all had a weakness, one thing that would destroy us. The trick was trying to figure it out before we ripped you to pieces. I had been decapitated, lost limbs that grew back, and had my neck snapped, but none of it killed me. Only one thing we had not touched, had not tried.

My heart.

‘Yes,’ I said through gritted teeth, ‘I know that.’

His fingers pressed harder, digging into my chest. I didn’t scream. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

‘Then why did you hesitate?’ His voice was a breathy whisper in my ear.

Lie.

I couldn’t tell him the real reason. If he thought for a second I put anyone above him or his cause he would end me here and now.

‘Because,’ I hissed, ‘He has a family. By killing him you are only creating more enemies for yourself.’ I panted again trying to breathe through the pain. ‘It is a complication with how close you are.’

He held my gaze for what felt like eons before his eyes melted back to their hazel shade and he released his hold on my hair. I felt his fingers ease from my chest and he slid his hand from beneath my dress. He gripped my hips and spun me to face him so quickly that I almost fell to the side.

His body pressed into mine as he leaned forward. ‘You care for me?’

‘Yes.’ I reached up, rubbing a hand over my chest. The skin had healed, but the wet stain of blood coated my fingers.

It wasn’t a complete lie. I had cared for him in the beginning, until a few hundred years of excusing his behavior grew old. He had never shared his secrets with me, but I knew there were parts of Kaden that were deeply damaged, and I felt for him. Kaden wasn’t always as vile as he seemed. There were moments, fragments at least where I could see something deeper within him. Something in his past had turned him jaded, cold, and vicious. So yes, I cared for him, but it was never love. It wasn’t like those stupid movies Gabby insisted on making me watch or the emotion the poets wrote sonnets to but I cared. I would never be free of Kaden, and even in this limited way, caring made it easier to stay.

His lips brushed my cheek. ‘Good. Don’t hesitate again.’

I nodded, my hands still clutching the fabric of my dress. He still had me pinned between the sink and his hard body.

‘Let me go,’ I whispered. It was a request and a silent demand. One that meant more than where he had me now. One I often dreamed about when the fighting and violent nature of my life got to be too much. One I knew would never be granted. I ached for a life outside of this. A life with my sister. A life where I was loved and could be loved. Just a life. But I knew his answer before he spoke, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt he meant it.

Kaden leaned back, his eyes dancing over my face before a single finger tipped my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze.

‘Never.’