The Beast Within (Book One of the Changes Series)

-Danielle’s POV-

By the time I was on my way to my appointment, I was sick of my mental monolog. The radio served as a distraction, cranked up louder than usual, and it worked for the most part.

A smile crossed my face.

If the kids were in the car, Lexi would be sharing her best dance moves by now while Cameron would pretend to gag over whatever song was playing.

The view of hills and vineyards of Temecula’s wine country helped lift my spirits. Most people that had never lived in California only thought of the beach and the glamour of Hollywood, but living inland was just as beautiful. I personally wouldn’t live anywhere else.

I regarded the mini-mansions as I drove by. Sometimes I would play a game, wondering who lived in the homes I passed that made my four-bedroom house look quaint. I knew money wasn’t everything, but it could make life a lot easier.

Porsha came to mind. I was sure she would argue against my last statement. She owned a house in the vineyards, and money hadn’t given her much happiness. In the end, everyone had their cross to bear. On that, Porsha would agree.

I turned my attention back to the song on the radio, nodding my head to the beat, singing along.

Even with the detour, my drive ended too soon. Now I was sitting alone in a creepy waiting room. Emery’s nurse just left me here with nothing to read or do. I could play a game on my phone, but I didn’t want to. Come on, Emery, I didn’t have all day. Was the doctor even here? It was too quiet in here, and my mind was too loud. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help but obsess.

How many people who sat in this very seat had the same issues like mine?

All I had ever wanted was a normal life and to be the mom I never had for myself, but what if my condition kept progressing? What if I became a danger to my family?

Dr. Emery entered the room, startling me out of my thoughts.

“Danielle Smith,” he said dryly, never looking up from my patient file.

I tried to ignore his passive-aggressive dismissive nature that magically disappeared whenever Nathan was present. His assistant, Rose, was the sweet one; Eugene just faked being human, well enough

I made my way to him, “Hey Eugene. How are you?”

He finally looked away from the chart, managing a practiced smile, “Not too bad, well, not bad for a busy Saturday.”

There it was… that dig he always found a way to fit in. He didn’t have to bend to Nathan’s will, giving up his Saturday.

There was nothing I wanted to add, so I nodded, hoping he would continue.

“I have already talked to Nathan. I’ll meet you down in the second examining room. Change into the gown on the table, and the nurse and I will be there shortly,” he gave another plastic smile before he turned on his heels, leaving me to stand there.

Asshole.

I wanted to leave, but I knew I wouldn’t. Instead, I followed the doctor’s direction. This was for the best, right?

The exam room was easy enough to find, but again, I was left alone with my thoughts. My mind continued to jump to every worst-case scenario I could think of while I readied myself.

There was a knock at the door, right before it cracked open.

“Knock, knock, are you decent?” the doctor asked.

“Yeah, come in,” I recited, trying to sound upbeat.

A cold gust of air followed Emery and his nurse into the room. She gave me a thin grin instead of a greeting as she walked in.

It wasn’t lost on me that she chose not to come in beforehand to complete her assessment. Maybe off-hour visits worked differently.

I waited patiently as Dr. Emery sat on his stool, still occupied with my patient chart.

“Okay, what do we have here?” he asked the file, not me.

I cleared my throat, trying to get his attention, “Well, it all started—”

Dr. Emery quieted me with a raised index finger. My silence was given, more so out of disbelief than obedience.

I tracked him as he got up, placing a blood pressure cuff around my arm. Now that he was close, I could smell the hint of bourbon mixed with his cologne. Nathan had told me Emery was a heavy drinker, but this was the first time I had smelled it on him.

He finished with taking my blood pressure, peering down at me with condescending eyes.

“Nathan told me everything, so you don’t need to rehash your ongoing issues. I’m going to need a urine sample and a blood draw. I’m pretty sure you’re anemic and experiencing some secondary issues from working too many hours. Luckily for you, Nathan is shopping for a nanny as we speak, so you should be stress-free in no time.”

I couldn’t believe anything that just came out of his mouth.

“What do you mean you talked to Nathan? If I’m not mistaken, I’m your patient, not my husband!” I barked.

Dr. Emery’s shock quickly turned to anger, “Who do you think you are? I will not be spoken to like this in my own practice.”

Who was he to talk to me like this? My heart started to race.

“Oh yes, you will! You wouldn’t have a practice where you can spend more time working on your golf swing than patient care without people like me.”

I popped off the examining table, dressing freely in front of both of them. My clothes soaked up the sweat that quickly collected over my body. A sound started pulsating in my head as if all the blood in my body was rushing to it. That couldn’t be good, but I was too angry to worry about that right now.

The sounds in my head began to condense. I found it close to impossible to concentrate on anything else.

One rhythm… two rhythms… three rhythms.

I barely noticed Dr. Emery storming out of the room, most likely to give Nathan a full report.

One rhythm… two rhythms.

Wait, where was the third? I listened harder, finding it had become fainter until it disappeared altogether.

Remembering I wasn’t alone, I turned to face the nurse. I wasn’t sure why, but the nurse hadn’t left her corner. When our eyes met, one of the rhythms changed. It became faster, more erratic, and I became curious. My stare intensified over her. It was as if she was a deer stuck in a pair of headlights. The smell of her perfume deepened. I took a step in her direction; her breaths quickened, as did her heart. Was I really hearing her beating heart, or was I imagining it? Whatever this was, I couldn’t help but relish the sensations.

She finally made a move towards the door while I quietly tracked her, fighting the urge to block her escape. The door closed behind her. I kept still and listened as the rhythm became dim until I couldn’t hear it at all.

When I made it out into the hall, I still had to fight off urges I didn’t fully understand. So many feelings warred within me, but the most prominent was rage. I felt as if I was infuriated at everything and everyone. I had to leave before I did something I couldn’t take back. What that could be, I had no idea, but I didn’t want to find out.

I was still fuming once I reached my car. It wasn’t until I had closed myself off from the rest of the world that I could even wrap my head around what had happened. Annoyed, I continued to ignore the muffled ringing of the phone in my purse. I could turn it off. That would really piss him off. My impulse almost won over.

Begrudgingly I answered, “Hello?”

I was disappointed with how outwardly sweet my greeting had come out with how much venom I felt coursing through me.

“I heard about your meltdown in Eugene’s office today.”

It was Nathan, but I had already known that before I had picked up the phone.

“How’s your nanny search going?”

He let out a deep breath, “Is that the reason for all the theatrics? This stunt only proves that you need extra help around the house. You need a break, even if you can’t see it for yourself. If I had my way, you wouldn’t be working at all.”

Nathan’s response was only fanning the flames of my anger.

“If you had it your way?! What doesn’t go your way? Don’t answer that. I would rather know why I had to hear about the nanny from Eugene? I thought we were going to talk about it. But no, you just ended up doing whatever you planned anyway because that’s how our relationship runs.”

I was just about to hang up when Nathan’s voice rejoined the line.

“Gina is the name of our new nanny. I already introduced her to the kids.”

The line went quiet.

He continued, “I’ll be getting off early today; I’ll see you at home.”

The line went dead.