The Beast Within (Book One of the Changes Series)

-Danielle’s POV-

I shouldn’t have been shocked; nightmares had become a part of my typical sleep pattern. I just really hated the ones that had my children starring in them. The vision of the kids replayed itself. Now real tears threatened to fall.

I picked myself up off the floor and readied myself for a long night. My mind seemed to be just getting revved up, and lately, I’ve had more than my fair share of shit to think about. Although that was why I was here in the first place, right? So I could learn how to better control myself and my urges.

Afterward, I would be able to go home, back to my family and life. At least that was what Nathan had told me, but I hadn’t seen him in a week. He hadn’t even told me he was leaving in the first place. Maybe this was part of my training. To see if I can control myself in unprepared circumstances without him here to guide me. I wasn’t sure why, but even I thought I was reaching.

I stood in the middle of the room, hugging myself. I had to snap out of it. I went towards the bed, falling into it as the mattress released a thin cloud of dust.

My doubts weren’t founded. Nathan could be trusted. Who else would understand what I had been through other than him? He was my husband, and he wanted the best for us. He wouldn’t have moved Porsha and me to a safer location if he didn’t. If Nathan wanted me gone, all he had to do was let Lu Ann finish her vendetta against me. I repeated the reasons why I should trust Nathan until they were engraved into my psyche, but I was still plagued with nagging doubt. The coldness in his gaze when Lu Ann came close to killing me replayed in my mind’s eye. A cold shiver ran down my spine that caused my body to tremble at the continued thought of the incident in Nathan’s office.

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that the whole exchange was wrong. When I had first woken up, that was my Nathan. Then he changed after his phone call with that Master Romulus person. And that phone call… There was something that bothered me with it. Why couldn’t I hear any that was being said? During Nathan’s call to Lu Ann, I heard her voice coming through the phone, but I couldn’t hear anything from the first call. Maybe I did. Shit.

I tried in vain to suppress the horrific event that would resurface with every blink of my eyes. Lu Ann’s body parts scattered on the floor—An endless pool of blood—The face of the man I loved panting over me, with a deranged satisfaction.

I remembered after Nathan had finished… He left me on the floor. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before I was able to close my eyes and shut out the image of Lu Ann’s remains. When Nathan, smiling down at me, came back, balancing a cold water bottle on the peak of one of my breasts, waking me out of my daze.

The rest of the night was a blur. I woke up on the leather sofa with a sheet covering me, finding Lu Ann had been disposed of. A table was in her place, filled with an array of food and a note from Nathan, directing me where clothes and the washroom were located.

Nathan didn’t reappear until after I had showered and eaten. He waltzed in, leaving a kiss on my cheek before grabbing a hand full of grapes. His demeanor shocked me. I tried to apologize for attacking him. I hoped the admittance of my possible wrongdoing would cause him to apologize for his own. Instead, he waved the gesture off, stating we were a passionate species and passionate moments were to be expected.

That was the last time we talked about that night. Nathan hadn’t laid a hand on me sexually or negatively since. I just hoped that incident was a fluke and that it never repeated itself.

Soon after, I found out Nathan had extended the children’s stay at camp. Nathan didn’t think it was a good idea for me to see them until I was in total control of myself. He explained the swell of emotion could cause a transformation. I had no reason not to believe what Nathan claimed. Before I could linger in my disappointment, he tried to cheer me up with a promised visit to see Porsha later on that day.

I dredged up the mental picture of Nathan leading me down the winding halls. I thought we would end up in an infirmary. Instead, he led me to an underground cave with many similar traits to the cave Porsha had almost lost her life in. We came to a large white van.

I remembered being on edge as I followed Nathan to the vehicle, waiting for the shadows to take form and attack. When he opened the van’s door, Porsha was inside, lying on a gurney, connected to several IVs and wires. It was apparent she was hanging onto life by a thread, but she was still alive.

I jumped in without a second thought. I didn’t even look behind me when the van’s sliding door closed. It wasn’t until the van’s engine turned over and we started to move that I questioned anything. I halfway believed Nathan was taking us to the hospital.

He didn’t say a single word before closing the door and sending me off with strangers. I spent the next four hours alternating from quietly holding Porsha’s hand as she slept to staring out the heavily tinted window. I didn’t waste my breath questioning the driver, but I tried to keep up with familiar markers or freeways as we drove past them. It wasn’t until we had stopped for gas that I even knew Nathan was following us to wherever we were going.

When the van finally got to our destination, the sliding door was opened from the outside. My eyes had a rough time adapting to the sunlight that flooded in. That was the first and last time I saw the outside of my current prison. Nathan jumped out of his Lexus and led me into the building I was now being held. It wasn’t anything noteworthy other than it blended smoothly into the desert. Without any explanations, Nathan took me in one direction while someone else took Porsha in another. That was also the last time I was able to see Porsha.

The sound of my door’s slot brought me back from my unpleasant memories.

It must be time for dinner. I ran to the slot, readying to ask the same request I’d been asking since my very first day. I reached out of the box-shaped hole, pulling back a tray full of the basics. Before the guard had the chance to close the opening, I placed my face by it.

“Hey, I was wondering if today was a good day to see Porsha.”

“Like I already told you, she needs her rest,” the guard snidely remarked.

“Can I at least speak with Nathan?”

“No, just like yesterday and the day before, he’s not available. Master Romulus will decide when you’re ready to see him.”

Before I had the chance to ask anything else, he slammed the small entrance shut. I was left holding my dinner in my hands while my anger grew. I wasn’t sure if any amount of learned discipline could control my disposition much longer. I needed more, more answers. I needed my life back! Who the hell was this Master Romulus, and why should I give a shit about his approval? Was he really the reason why I haven’t seen Nathan for the past few days?

I noticed my gelatin dessert jiggled nervously, realizing the movement stemmed from the now-familiar tremble of my pending transformation. Without much grace, I managed to keep most of the food from spilling, putting it down on the bed.