The beast and the blessed novel by Ashley Breanne

Seventy-Six: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

Not knowing who I could trust was hard, but being without Killian was even more challenging. I had tried to reach out to him several times, but there was no answer. Either our pack link was broken, or I wasn't doing it right.

Since I could talk to other people through the link, neither option seemed viable. But I had to trust that Killian was okay. I knew deep inside that he was okay and that I would feel it if he wasn't. Charlie had been pleasant around other people, but I hadn't gotten to talk to her one-on-one in the week that Killian had been gone. A week of worry and anger.

It made me lethal in my training, and I had improved more in the past week than in the few months I had been here. If Killian insisted on being in as many of the battles before the war, fighting with his men, then I wanted to be strong enough to fight beside him as his mate and queen.

Rona had been spending time “tuning up’ Joselin's spells, as she had referred to it. After she walked in and saw me training in my fur, I had lost hope in keeping my secret, but she became a different person. While she was still openly a bitch, she was more respectful and willing to talk and help than I had imagined.

It was the other council members that should have been arriving any moment that had me biting my nails.

The worst of the best... that was how Joselin had described them, and it was a unanimous agreement between the Amery siblings and Joselin that there wasn't a single pleasant member of the council.

If I thought Rona was hard to deal with, I couldn't imagine what the others were like. I didn't even know how many more to expect, and I wasn't about to ask Rona and let her know how ignorant I was on the topic.

Charlie sat beside me on the stairs, and my eyebrows raised as she bumped her shoulder into mine in a friendly gesture. Yet, the petty woman in me was still angry that she had been treating me differently and was clearly talking about me to the women who hated me. I wanted to ask her what she said, but I didn't want to let her know it bothered me.

That was one good lesson I learned in my old pack when they beat and bullied me. They only did it more if I let them know how much they had hurt me. It brought them more pleasure when they realized they were making an impact. Then things would always get worse.

"He'll be home soon.” She whispered as she stared ahead at the sizeable grand entrance to the foyer. "He might have a few new scars, but he'll come back to you."

I closed my eyes and tried to fight back the tears that wanted to be free. The thought of him being injured and in pain made my chest hurt.

"Thank you, I just wish I could contact him."

Charlie's shoulder brushed against mine as she leaned back on the steps, resting her upper body on her forearms. "He does this. Every time he goes to battle, he shuts himself off. I wasn't even sure he realized he was doing it at first until he became the king, and people needed to talk to be able to report to him. Now I think he does it out of habit.”

My hand was cold as I rubbed it over my left eye and cheek. "He could at least tell me he's okay every few days."

I ignored Charlie as she shook her head, staring back at the doorway as if he were going to walk in any moment and sweep me off my feet.

"The man you first met is different from who he is today. But the man he is during battle... that's someone else entirely. I have only ever seen him that way once, but it was something I will never forget.” Charlie's voice wavered slightly, just enough for me to hear the fear in her voice.

"You're scared of him?" The idea of Killian being someone even his sister was terrified to be around was almost amusing. But he was closing himself down for a reason, and none of the possibilities I could think of to explain why were laughable.

"I would be stupid not to be. I pray to the Goddess that you never see him that way because if you do, you would be scared too." Her voice was low and steady, as if she had suppressed her emotions like Killian usually did. It seemed to be a requirement of the job. "You really love my brother, don't you?"

"I do,” The nod that accompanied my words was unconscious, and I bit my lip as I tried to think about anything other than Killian and what he was doing right now. I didn't know if he was still searching for our missing people, fighting our enemies, or being captured by them. "Are you sure it's safe to talk to me right now? The past week, anytime you were alone with me, you bolted. You've only talked to me if there were other people around. Want to tell me what I did wrong?"

The foyer was empty as I looked around, but that didn't mean there weren't people within earshot near the banisters on the floors above us.

From the corner of my eye, I watched as Charlie winced before sitting up next to me with her arms on her knees in a very manly position. For a woman with a royal upbringing, I assumed she picked that up from her time away when she was off on her adventures with her group of mercenaries and her mate.

"It wasn't personal. I just wasn't ready to talk to you yet. Whenever you looked at me, I could see the wheels spinning in your head and the pity in your eyes. I know you know what Killian did, and I hope you agree it wasn't right.” Charlie pleaded, and I couldn't look away. It was like I was being sucked into a hypnotic state with her bright green eyes.

"I think it is a hard situation for anyone to be in."

The smell of the burnt floor and some herb still clung to the air, only it was thicker since Rona had messed with the spell. It wasn't offensive, but not entirely pleasant either. If I weren't waiting for the announcement of the second council member's arrival for me to be out front, I would have been upstairs in my room, where it only smelled like Killian, recovering after a taxing training session where I had managed to take down Thomas twice as Tobias stood to the side, observing.

"Natalie, you don't know what it feels like, so I would appreciate it if you would mind your own business.” Her harsh words fueled me with fire, and my eyes narrowed at her.

"I do know what it's like, Charlie. The only difference is that with your mother, Killian has been killing himself for years, trying to make the decision as her next of kin as to whether he should show her mercy and put her out of her misery or if he should leave her to suffer here alone without her mate. When he killed my mother, she had been conscious, begging, and screaming for him to show her mercy and send her to the Goddess, where her mate was waiting for her!" My voice raised as I glared at her, and she looked stunned.

"I'm sorry for your loss.” She muttered before looking away and down at her hands. It didn't fly past me that she hadn't apologized for how she had spoken to me. Like brother, like sister. I never should have expected an apology from her, and I wouldn't make that mistake again. "Why hasn't he done it before now?"

I shook my head as a bitter laugh left my lips. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. I could feel his heartbreak and panic through the mate bond anytime we spoke about Charlie's plans for the future or the adventures she had gone on.

It was easy to figure it out between that and his reaction when she caught him in their mother's room, contemplating the option to send his mother to find peace.

"Because you abandoned him, Charlie! Time and time again, you leave him to deal with all this shit alone! Your father and mother were both gone, and his last family member ran as far as she could to escape. He had been scared that once he did it, once he showed mercy and let your mother finally find peace with her mate and child, you would leave again and, this time, never come back. That man adores you! He put aside his feelings about the bears to make you happy by giving Damien a chance. He even asked for me to take care of you while he was gone.”

Charlie gaped at me as I got to my feet. The guards hadn't announced it yet, but I could feel the magic moving closer. So, I approached the front door, carefully stepping over the burnt divots in the flooring.

"I didn't ab..."

"Yes, you did. You ran and left your brother behind. But don't worry, I'm here now, and he won't ever be alone again, so you can go back to worrying about yourself.” I pulled open the door, silently cursing myself as it shut behind me.

'Way to go, Natalie. Burning bridges with everyone you talk to.’ The thought crossed my mind, and I shook it free from my thoughts. I had bigger things to focus on.