Chapter 25
Mari
The field we were investigating looks so promising, that I stayed behind to do some over-time.
I let the rest of the field go home for the day, promising that I would go as soon as I finished this posthole.
That was two hours ago, six postholes and three drawings later.
I got too eager.
Music was blaring through my phone, as I continued to enjoy the nice weather and the marvelous site we had in front of us.
Tomorrow we’re opening one of the graves!
‘’I thought we agreed on waiting until you were done with work?’’
I screech out of surprise and nearly jump out of my own skin.
I can see his fingers twitching, wanting to steady me. To touch me.
‘’I’m not done yet,’’ I sneer back with a hand over my wildly beating heart.
‘’You were done two hours ago,’’ he reply quickly.
‘’I’m the project leader. Sometimes I have to work over-time,’’ I state.
Getting back down to my original spot and tearing out some annoying stones from the seventh posthole I was digging.
‘’Alright,’’ he state.
Thinking that he would leave, I focus all my attention on the layers in the posthole.
He doesn’t.
He’s just standing there, in the middle of the field – my field.
I sigh in annoyance. ‘’Leave me alone,’’ I snap, nearly throwing the trowel at him.
He stares at me. Deeply. ‘’No,’’ he state as he crosses his arms across his chest.
‘’I don’t need you in my life right now!’’ I snap back.
’’You are in your life, because of me!’’ he snaps back.
‘’Excuse me?’’ I breathe as I stand up. Clutching the trowel in my hand. Knuckles turning white.
’’Are you trying to say that you saved my life? That you are the reason why I’m alive?’’ I ask accusingly.
‘’I am!’’ he replies, eyes turning darker.
’’You are not! You are the reason why I nearly died, you shithead! If you hadn’t taken me, if you hadn’t lied to me and if you hadn’t fucking touched me, I would still be alive and well on this planet!’’ I scream.
’’You just want to think so, so that you can feel better about raping me!’’ I scream as I throw the trowel at him.
He dodges it.
This is the first time I’m talking to him after all that has happened. I wish I never got the chance to speak to him ever again.
It’s hard to admit what happened. I struggle with it every day, trying to piece my life back together. Trying to feel more like myself again.
’’I will never apologize for saving your life. I do not care for your feelings in this matter. No matter how you twist and turn it, I saved you!’’ he snarls.
Eyes completely black.
‘’You never saved me. You took everything away from me!’’ I scream back. Tears threatening to spill.
’’Don’t you dare imply that the million times you repeated your actions was to save my life. Even Zuuri said you got selfish!’’
He snarls loudly. ’’Do you think I wanted to do it?’’ he hisses.
‘’I do!’’ I scream, the first tear slipping from my eyes.
He looks momentarily taken back. His razor-sharp canines flash in annoyance.
‘’I would never have hurt you like that if I did not have to,’’ he sates silently.
‘’Never,’’ he repeats. ‘’I could have done it a thousand times before, I never did. Why would I suddenly change my mind?’’ he asks.
I throw my hands up in the air. ’’How should I know? You have an expressionless face! You kept me in the dark with everything. You were always the villain,’’ I snap.
A weird sound escapes his mouth. ‘’I would never violate you like that,’’ he says silently. ’’No matter what you may think of me, I promise you, I would have never done it if I did not have to,’’.
His eyes returned to normal. Back to his expressionless face.
‘’It has pained me for nearly five hundred years to see you in so much pain. I would, still, do the same thing over again, just to keep you alive,’’ he says seriously.
‘’I mean it,’’ he repeats. ‘’I will not apologize for keeping you alive, but I will apologize for the circumstance of it,’’
Is this an apology? I think it just makes me angrier to think that it might be. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. Taking a deep breath.
De doesn’t deserve to see my tears.
‘’Why are you back?’’ I croak out.
‘’I told you,’’ he answers.
I flip the gloves off my hands, throwing them on the ground, beside the posthole. Agitated.
‘’I don’t need your protection,’’ I sneer as I gather the drawing board, pad and camera, ready to leave for the day.
I didn’t hear him walk after me, but I could feel it.
‘’You do,’’ he states as he trails after me.
I close my eyes once again.
’’Let’s get one thing clear; you killed over four million people on earth with your virus. You raped me. Abused me. Took me away from my planet. I don’t want to see you, hear you or even smell you. I don’t care about whatever danger you’re talking about. Let them come, I don’t care. Just leave me alone!’’ I snap, abruptly turning to face his expressionless pale blue face.
I was done being scared. I was done with giving him all the control. I was in control now, no matter how much of a celestial being he might be.
‘’Mai’yri,’’ he calls, almost sounding pained.
‘’No!’’ I yell, quickening my pace.
I unlock the car and put the equipment in the trunk. I’m about to get inside of it, ready to drive away – far away – from him, but he lays his palm flat on the door.
It didn’t budge.
He’s standing so close, staring right down at me. Caging me in.
‘’Listen to me,’’ he pleads.
‘’No!’’ I yell furiously, desperately trying to yank the car door open.
‘’I never meant to hurt you,’’ he says honestly.
‘’Yes, you did,’’ I snap back. Remembering the time when he nearly choked the life out of me. All the times he threatened to hurt me.
’’No, my yda, I did not. The virus was a plan before you ever came into the picture. Telling you about it would only make you feel worse,’’ he explains.
I frown at the name he called me. Yda?
’’As of all the other things you keep blaming me for, you need to look back and remember what really happened. Yes, I hurt you once. I cannot take it back.
The difference here is that we come from two completely different worlds. Different cultures. This is your field of study; you should know this. Our culture is different from yours.
I told you about it specifically, several times, and you were clear about yours. I respected it as much as I could, but the way I act is the way I show emotions.
We do it through touch – whenever I touched you it was never a way of controlling you. It was a way of showing compassion. Everything I did for you was never intended to hurt you, like it has, it was intended to show that I meant no harm,’’ he explains. Never breaking eye contact.
‘’Correct me if I’m wrong,’’ I hiss. ’’But are you implying that I overreacted? That my feelings in this isn’t true?’’.
He blinks once. Slowly. ‘’Did you even hear what I just said?’’ he asks.
‘’I’m done with this conversation, I’m going back to the apartment,’’ I snarl, trying to rip the car door open.
He leans in closer. Invading my personal space.
‘’Listen to me, Mai’yri,’’ he snaps. ‘’Your feelings are no overreaction. I never said they were. What I am saying is that the actions you hate me for are the ones I did out of kindness. How I show emotion. You will rarely see it on my face, but you can feel it through your fingertips if you just try to,’’ he says slowly, hovering over me.
Caging me in. His smell invades me. The smell I got so used to. The smell I sometimes craved.
‘’I was just trying not to scare you away, to intimidate you. I guess it didn’t matter in the end, after all,’’
I sigh loudly. He wasn’t going to leave me alone, was he?
‘’Get in the car,’’ I state, turning away from his intense gaze.
Trying to open the car door once again.
‘’What?’’ he blurts.
‘’I’m assuming that you don’t know how to drive a car and I’m also assuming that you’re not going to leave me alone. Get in the car. I’m hungry and I have more paperwork to do back at the apartment,’’ I say.
He releases the hold of the door and I get in the driver seat and slam the door shut.
He looks at me skeptically for a long moment, before deciding to try and get in. This was a big car. It was a Volkswagen T-Roc.
He’s going to fit.
I push the seat to the furthest back it can go, and he hesitantly gets in.
‘’I do not like cars,’’ he states with a frown.
‘’I love them,’’ I say as I push the gas pedal down quickly and we speed away from the field.
He breathes in, before clutching the seat.
‘’Pingle,’’ I mutter as I shift gears and speed down the highway.
He really does not like cars. He’s been silent throughout the ride, clutching his seat. His eyes flickering to every car that pass us by.
‘’I never took you for a crazy driver,’’ he mutter as his eyes momentarily shifts to me.
‘’I never took you for a wuss,’’ I shoot back as I take a hard turn, just to set him more off the edge.
‘’Do not- do not! Do not do that!’’ he stutters slightly before he hisses the last part out. Closing his eyes.
‘’What? You mean this?’’ I ask innocently before I take another sharp turn.
I’m in control now, I smile to myself.
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Translation
Pingle - wuss
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