Chapter 12
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Kai'ine
I woke in the early morning hours. Unable to fall back to sleep, I used this peace and quiet to process a few things.
Well, it wasn’t exactly quiet.
The human beside me was snoring, which was another weird trait they had.
It makes no sense how they spent millions of years of evolving into the species they are today, and still snore like that.
No sense at all.
My eyes flicker in her direction. Taking in her sleeping form. Her hair was sprawled on the pillow and her body was turned towards me. She pouted a little when she slept.
She also talked and sometimes opened her eyes, still sound asleep, which was pretty weird too.
Weird beings.
She’s curled up like a ball. She had a few nightmares throughout the night, but a simple touch of my forehead against hers made it stop immediately. After that, she slept soundly.
My hands twitches again.
A habit that has become quite frequent these last few days. It is almost been a week since we left the earth.
My eyes flicker to the ceiling.
The brief moment of peace yesterday, after she had worn herself out from the energy chains and Zuki finally shut up about a human on this planet, Zuuri opened her medical file.
I don’t think he was as surprised as I was. He kept repeating ’I said so’s, and that I should be more ‘careful’ if I wanted her mind to stay sane.
Her years through psychiatrics and doctors made her file thicker than most.
Zuuri managed to access the notes from the psychiatrists as well. It came to a point where he couldn’t read anymore, so I had to take over.
He cares so much for humans, and I think he really cares about her as well.
She suffered trauma from systematic violence throughout her childhood. It lasted for a few years, at most, but it still damaged the brain of a young child.
According to police records, they had no sustainable evidence towards her prosecutor – which was much older than her at the time – so the case was closed without further due. The man was a relative, it appears. An uncle maybe?
It seems to have left quite the mark.
I don’t think the beatings or systematic mental abuse were the worst, it was how she suffered from it in the years to come.
A lot of ‘anxiety’ – which every human from the western world seems to have – and depression. There were a few diagnoses to it, but none of importance.
It all came down to that she was just scared. Scared of him, scared of futuristic people like him, scared to live, scared to try.
I blink my eyes a few times. Processing it. I’m not sure how I feel, or felt, about this new information on her.
If I ever encounter him, I'll probably devour him on the spot.
According to the records, her last years have been really good and she hasn’t been involved in the psychiatric service for years. She was doing really good. Trying. Trying to live.
Until I suddenly showed up.
A strange feeling in my chest grows. I have never felt it before.
What is this feeling?
I grip my chest and nearly whine in pain. As soon as it came, it went.
I flicker my gaze towards her again. Maybe I’ll just let her sleep in today? I have to get to the capitol and do some work today, anyways. The longer she sleeps the better.
I shake my head and decide against it. My clawed hands reach for her. As I pull her close, she stirs in her sleep. A clawed finger strokes the hair away from her face.
‘’Mai’yri,’’ I murmur as I gaze down at the tiny human.
She groans and wriggle downwards, so that she’s hiding her face on my shoulder.
If she could see herself now.
I let her stay there for a few minutes, before I lift her from the bed. She groans again and try to hide from the light that shines through the windows. I walk over to the bathroom and set her gently to her feet.
She’s barely awake, so I make my haste and fill the tub up. She likes to shower in really hot water, so hot that her skin turns red after, I’ve noticed. I try and match that temperature in the tub.
If the temperature is satisfactory, then that’ at least one thing she might enjoy during these morning routines.
I undress her quickly, not wanting her to get too cold, without struggle. Mostly because she’s basically still asleep. When I lift her into the tub, and her body emerges in the water she wakes up. Quite abruptly.
She flinches, hard, probably thinking that I’m trying to drown her.
I take hold of her upper arms and sit her down with her back against my chest. The tub is quite deep, considering human standards. The water reaches her shoulders, but it only reaches halfway up my chest.
If I had filled it more, she wouldn’t be able to sit without the water reaching way above her head. Such a small creature.
She lets out a shaky breath and a slight shiver runs through her body.
When I see her from this angle, I notice red marks on her thighs, both outside and inside. Some are even on her hips and breasts. I run a clawed finger over the ones on the top of her thighs.
She jerks away.
‘’Why have you hurt yourself?’’ I ask, grabbing her thigh and holding it close to inspect it.
‘’I- uh, I haven’t,’’ she stutters. Sleep still evident in her voice.
‘’There are red marks on your body. It is quite clear that you have,’’ I answer as I try and decipher the depth of them.
They are not particularly deep, not at all actually. It almost looks like tiny open wounds, without depth and blood.
‘’It’s stretchmarks,’’ she explains as she tries to push my prying hands away.
‘’It is what?’’. I frown as I move from her thigh to her waist.
‘’It’s stretched skin. You get it when you grow, through puberty, well you can get them for anything. It’s not wounds,’’.
Millions of years of evolution and their body cannot stretch without leaving a mark?
‘’So, everyone has it?’’ I ask as I let go of her waist and start doing the usual morning routine.
‘’There’s probably some without it, but most of us, yes. I think,’’ she murmurs.
She looks away, looking almost ashamed. Why would she be ashamed if everybody else has it? Humans make no sense to me.
‘’You don’t like them?’’ I ask as I rinse the shampoo out of her hair.
Her eyes are closed, head bent backwards as I rinse.
‘’Society makes me think I don’t like them,’’ she answers after a few seconds of silence.
‘’They don’t like it?’’
Conditioner is left in her hair for a few minutes, as I continue washing her body. Her hair is like a big, wild tangle, if not left in for a while.
’’They don’t like anything that makes us human, human. Wrinkles, stretch marks, extra weight, natural hair color and so on. It all has to be fixed to make it look ‘better’,’’
I can see a frown forming in between her eyebrows, as she rubs it angrily away. This is something she has a lot of opinions about, it seems.
‘’And you want to be as you are?’’ I ask as I finish rinsing the last of the conditioner out of her hair.
I turn her body and push her to the end of the tub. She pulls her knees up to her chest, refusing to meet my eyes.
I know that she is not fond of this morning routine, but she hated it the most when I cleaned her most intimate parts.
I struggle to understand why.
‘’Yes’’, she finally whispers as her initial shock passes.
This exposure therapy will be good for her, I decide. It will make her more accustom to touch.
Especially mine.
We feel the most through touching. One of our key social interactions with others are through the touching of foreheads. This makes us able to feel each other’s emotions and you can also share memories through the touch.
Our fluidity makes nudity a norm, and non-sexual touching through nudity is also a way of feeling. Caring.
‘’Good,’’ I answer as I rise from the tub, all finished cleaning her and I.
She still refuses to look at me. Nudity bothers her. It bothers her a lot. I’ll just have to change that.
I wrap a white towel around myself as I hold out one, for her to step into, so I can wrap it around her.
Her gaze flickers from the towel and down to the floor. Estimating how many steps she needs to take. Steps in complete nudity. She still isn’t used to this.
Yet.
Her internal battle lasts for a few seconds, and I let her have it.
As she rises and step into it, I wrap it around her and starts drying her hair with another towel.
As I brush her hair, I can see her staring at me in the bathroom mirror. I pay it no mind, as I start braiding it with quick fingers. I make a different one today, the style I usually wear.
She suits it. Suits braids in general.
Since she’s not attending anything formal today, I leave out the jewelry.
I meet her gaze though the mirror for a brief moment, as I walk out of the bathroom to fetch us some clothes.
Surprisingly, she follows. She’s fidgeting. She wants to say something, but is unsure if she dares or not.
I hide a smirk from her. She is so easy to read. To understand her intentions. I turn to face her, with clothes in my hands.
‘’What is it?’’ I finally ask.
She stares at me for a long minute. Another internal battle in her head.
‘’Can I, if i-‘’ she shakes her head. ‘’I want to dress myself,’’ she corrects with a confident look on her face.
I hand her the clothes without another look before I go back to the bathroom to dress myself and braid my own hair.
With shock evident on her face, she jumps into action and dress herself.
I smirk to myself.
She struggles to tie the traditional bow that keeps the trousers tight and fitting. Without it, they will fall off. I brush her hands away and tie it in one tug. She gives me an annoyed glare.
Today, I gave her light blue pants, white shirt and a light blue robe. She suits blue. She likes it too, by the looks of it. Without giving me another look, she trots down the stairs. Feet bare.
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
She’s getting bold, I think to myself, as I hurry to dress and join her downstairs.
When I get down to the kitchen, I see her on top of the counter, reaching for the cereal in the cupboard above. So short. As she grabs hold of it, I grab hold of her and lift her to the ground.
‘’I had it,’’ she grumbles.
‘’I can see that,’’ I answer whilst reaching for a bowl and hand it to her.
She fills it to the brim, with just a hint of oat milk.
‘’There are things I need to do in the capitol today,’’ I say as I watch her eat, sitting on the opposite stool of her.
She looks up at me, wide eyed as she munches on her cereal.
‘’You are not coming,’’ I add.
A relieved sigh leaves her mouth.
‘’You can use the day to work on your thesis. I will be gone for most of the day, but I’ll have someone guarding the house, from the outside. They will not interfere you and you will not interact with them. Sustenance is in the cupboards and fridge, take whatever you like,’’ I explain.
Her brain starts spinning with ideas to do after I’ve left the house. I can see it in her eyes.
‘’If you try anything stupid, I’ll chain you to the bedroom with energy chains the next time I leave the premises,’’ I threaten.
Humans like their freedom, like every other being. If she’s smart – which I think she is – she’ll be on her best behavior. She did not like those energy chains, at all, so it’s an excellent threat to use.
‘’Do you understand?’’ I ask.
She nods. A small frown on her brow.
‘’I’m not going to ask again,’’ I warn.
Anger flashes in her eyes.
‘’Ja!’’ she hisses.
‘’Good,’’ I answer curtly as I walk away from the kitchen.
I walk up to the study to get some files and papers that I will need throughout the day and pick up a new pad. I return to the kitchen and slide the pad over to her.
‘’Zuuri has translated it to English. You can reach Zuuri and me on it,’’ I explain.
She taps away on it immediately, and I realize that I don’t need to explain how to use it. It is quite the same technological pads that she’s used to. Ours are just more advanced.
She will not be connected to the web with it, I have locked it to only be used as a device to reach us if anything happens. The pad can also be tracked, but she doesn’t need to know that.
I take one long look at her. My left hand starts to twitch. She’s dangling her bare feet from the stool, swinging them back and forth idly as she taps away on the pad. Curious. A few loose strands of her hair is framing her face nicely.
‘’I will be back before dark, behave,’’ I warn one last time.
She pays me no attention, not after I just gave her some new technology to look at. She likes technology as well, I realize.
Books and technology. Noted.
I turn my back to her as I make my way to the exit. I take one last lingering look in her direction. Still dangling her feet and in deep concentration. I shake my head once as I leave out the door.
The guards already at their assigned posts.
‘’Don’t go inside, unless something happens. Don’t talk to her. Don’t touch her,’’ I instruct sternly.
Their black eyes won’t even meet mine, out of respect. They all look straight ahead and nods firmly. Approving their reply, I get onboard the pale white ship.
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Translation
Ja - yes