The Alphas’ P**n Star Mate

Shame was still weighing heavy on me as we made our way up to the bedroom. I felt exposed and raw.

It's easy not to care what others think of you when you're in a place you hate, like when I was in my first pack, or when you are living among others that have lived similarly. Being the Luna of this pack, a pack I have come to care for deeply, makes me scared of what the normal, wholesome pack members would think of me if they were to ever find pictures and videos of me from my past. How would they react? I never, ever cared about what Cameron, his parents, or his pathetic, ranked wolves thought of me. I went through the motions of being a Luna to survive, but never cared.

Here, in Setting Sun Pack, I care. I care so much that it's eating me up inside.

I was silent the entire walk to our room. I wanted to take a shower and get this dirty feeling off of me.

"Do you still think we're mad at you?" Mick asked, a lot more gently than his tone before. "Because if you do, that's total bull shit. I mean, there's probably way more shit out there of me than there ever was of you." "It's different for guys," I said gruffly, heading straight for the bathroom to turn on the shower.

"Not really," Mick shrugged off my concern. "It was just a job. I know that, and you do too."

I scoffed, "If you were to show one of my videos to a room full of regular people here, and then show one of yours, I would be labeled a slut, while you would get high-fives all around. It is very much different for guys!" I stared at the water stream as it started to heat up and fog up the glass.

It wasn't just the shame of knowing others could see those pictures of me, and the fact I was a Luna again. It was that Rodger, the man that already wouldn't claim to be my father, was the one to find them.

I keep trying not to care, not to dwell on that fact, but it still hurts.

"No one is going to see those pictures, Chloe," Miles rested his chin on top of my head, rubbing my arms soothingly. "No one will think less of you."

"If they do, that's more of a reflection of them than you," Mick added. "Please, don't get stressed about something stupid like the moral compass of others. None of your family cares, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it."

"If you want to beat someone up, tell us. Billy will volunteer," Miles smirked, kissing my head as he helped me out of my shirt, then hugged me again.

I leaned back against his chest, letting the sparks soothe a lot of the turmoil in me. It still hurt, but knowing my mates didn't care helped my emotions stay in check.

"You would volun-tell your Gamma to get his ass kicked by his Luna?" I lifted a brow at my gruffer mate. "That's an abuse of your authority, Alpha."

"I'd abuse every authority I had to make you happy," he grinned, helping me into the steaming shower.

"Poor Billy," I laughed.

My mates were right. I couldn't change my past, and I don't know if I would want to. Even the mask falling off was the catalyst for us coming here and being with Miles in Setting Sun. Did you know? This chapter is supposed to be on oɓni. Jom, and if you're not there, you're missing out on the original! Come join us on oɓnib.om for the most up-to-date chapters and insights. I was getting too worked up over the shit I couldn't, and wouldn't change. Even the issue with Rodger, it was his choice to not talk to me about anything. Rodger was an issue I was going to put away for now. There were so many other pressing issues at hand than my daddy issues.

One of which being Boyd.

As I showered, taking longer than both Mick and Miles who got in one after the other and showered around my standing in the main water stream, I thought about what had happened when I touched Boyd. I thought about what I saw, and how I didn't feel like I could say anything right after. It was like some little voice in the back of my head was warning me that it wasn't safe. That information shouldn't get out. It was the same feeling I got after drinking from the flask. It was private. Personal. Important not to share.

That feeling was now gone, but the image of the snake was still pressing on me. The dark, dreadful feeling that zapped through my veins when I touched him was stinging in the blood coursing through my veins right now. Now that I was away from the others, I couldn't say why, but the more I thought about it, the more I now felt the need to tell someone. Not just someone. Two people. The only two people I fully trust.

The feeling got greater and greater as I finished washing my hair and turned off the stream. Looking from Mick to Miles as I dried my hair, I became more sure I wanted to say something. They compromised with me, it was time I started to fill them in everything too. "Hey, guys. Now that we're alone, there's something I want to tell you," I said after wrapping a towel around my body. Mick was shaving at the sink, and Miles was getting dressed. Both men stopped to look at me.

I bit my lips, nervous about how they would react, but I needed to tell them. About Boyd, and about everything I saw in that vision from the flask.

"Can you guys keep it between us for now after I tell you?" I asked softly.

They just continued to stare for a few more seconds. Cortina was snorting at their worried expressions. They did look a little comical, but this was something serious.

"Shut up, hussy. Go snort at Rome and Ivar."

"I wore them out. They're still napping," Cortina said smugly, like out-sexing two Alpha wolves was an accomplishment.

Miles and Mick unfroze themselves, so I tuned Cortina's hussy smugness out and focused back on them.

"You're scaring me, Chloe," Mick wiped the leftover shaving cream from his face and came to stand in front of me with his brother. I felt like a midget with both of them looming over me with their serious expressions. "Sit on the bed, you too-tall jerks. You're scaring me." They weren't, but I said it to try and lighten the mood. It didn't really work. They just looked more worried.

Miles's jaw ticked, but he sat and pulled Mick down with him. "Talk."