The Admiral

Arden Lexington

When James dropped to the deck that was it, that was the moment everything I had left in me, everything he revived back to life, died along with him.

I looked back at Wyatt who lowers his pistol and eyes me with curiosity, “I didn’t know how you would react, but that was exactly what I should have expected: nothing. I honestly thought he was the one you loved.” Wyatt steps closer, “Now, Arden, if you’re not the Admiral anymore, then who is?”

I push back the pain and tears threatening to spill out of me. I know what Wyatt wants from me, he’s never hidden his want for me and it’s a weakness I intend to exploit right now.

I took a step closer to Wyatt and let my eyes linger on his lips. He’s not a bad looking man, quite the opposite in fact, it makes laying the trap a little easier.

Wyatt’s voice is quiet and wavers when he speaks, “Why did you come here Arden?”

Wyatt’s defenses are lowered, I can tell by the way his eyes soften.

“I came for James, but now that he’s gone...” I shrug, “You know Wyatt, you did well, with these men, I always knew you’d make a good leader. Did you tell your men not to touch me?” Wyatt smirks and nods, almost blushing. “That was a mistake.”

I didn’t even have to move all that quickly, in fact, it felt slow as hell. I wanted to see the life in his eyes drain slowly. I plunge my dagger into Wyatt's gut and twist as the crew of The Morning Star makes their move, and board the ship from the water.

I almost don’t feel the explosions that rumble in the belly of the ship below my feet. The Reaper goes to work destroying The Dragon from within.

I removed the knife from Wyatt’s belly. He just stares at me blankly, in disbelief at what’s happening right now. It’s just him, and me, and this knife.

The fight around us is just background noise as I reinsert the knife into his heart. As Wyatt drops to his knees I follow him, my eyes fixed on him watching life slowly drain out of them.

The first person I watched die like this was my mother, a sight I’ll never forget. The eyes are truly the window to the soul, because as it leaves the body and the eyes stop blinking, there’s a visible change, and it’s not just a spiritual one, it’s very much physical. Our salty tears dry, and the eyeball looks lifeless and dull without that gleaming topcoat.

I’ve seen countless lights go dim, yet none of them have made my life any brighter. I was always left in a world that was a little darker than before. Then James came along, blazing like the sun, bringing with him warmth and life. The brightest light of all was extinguished just moments ago. I cannot live in a world without the sun, I won’t. I refuse to.

I stare at Wyatt’s lifeless face. Not even the hand that grabs my shoulder rouses me from the depths my mind dives into. It lets go almost as soon as it touches me, and I hear a familiar voice shouting my name.

Giddeon pulls one of Wyatt’s men off me. Not that it matters anymore.

“Get the fuck up, Arden,” Giddeon growls trying to pull me up to his feet with his one good arm.

I let Giddeon drag me to my feet. My eyes instantly darted to James lying motionless on the deck and I’m broken all over again.

I honestly don’t remember what happened next, I was just a passenger in a body someone else was sailing. I watched on as my hand drew Giddeon’s sword from his belt and sliced open any man who came to attack me.

I lost count, and when there was no one left to bleed I stood there, staring at something, nothing. I remember feeling a hand take the sword from mine and saw Giddeon’s eyes locked onto me as I slowly released my grip on the hilt. He sheathed his sword and I let him lead me off the ship into a long boat.

The Morning Star was anchored around the beach, just out of sight from The Dragon. I turned around to watch The Dragon slowly sinking into the water, until it was completely gone.

“James...” I whisper.

“We have him Arden, Ox, and Azizi have him,” Giddeon assures me, and I nod.

I follow my feet to my cabin, but then, since I resigned it’s no longer mine. Charlotte comes into the cabin and helps me wash up.

I watch Charlotte’s hands wring the cloth of bloody water and I’m reminded of the time James did the same for me, right here, just like this. I crack just that little bit more.

I thought sleeping would be difficult, but it seems my body needed it. As my eyes drifted shut, my mind was given a little reprieve from my heartache as it seeped into my dreams. It was the same dream as before, but this time James was nowhere in sight, I was at the little cottage on my own, looking out at the water.

I woke up to see Giddeon sitting in my cabin, reading a book. He’s always kept an eye on me but never gone so far as to be in my cabin doing it while I slept. He’s probably making sure I don’t do anything stupid like hurt myself. I sit up on the edge of my bed and watch him. It’s dark outside and the ship is moving. Where I don’t know. Before I left to go after James, I had Giddeon quickly write up a document of resignation for me to sign. As Admiral, I would not have been able to go after him like that on my own, and Thomas would have been in charge until a new Admiral was voted in.

I watch Giddeon close his book and pull out the resignation letter from his breast pocket, “What am I supposed to do with this now?”

I resigned to have the freedom I needed to go after James, but now he’s gone I have no idea what I want anymore. All I know is that I don’t want to continue the path I’ve been walking down since I lost my parents.

“Nothing changes, I want you to submit it.”

Giddeon takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair, “What will you do?”

I shake my head, I'm too exhausted to even think about anything, "I honestly don’t know Giddeon, but this isn’t living, this is existing...and I want to live.”