: Chapter 42
SERAPHINE
My blood simmers. I sit up on the bed and glare at the defined muscles between his shoulder blades. How the hell can anyone be so ridiculously controlled? He just admitted to wanting me, yet he’s refusing to do anything about his attraction.
If he wasn’t so alert, I would rush him from behind and grab him by the throat. That’s the frustrating thing about being small. The only way I can defeat a man like Leroi is with the element of surprise, but he’s always ready.
“Hey,” I snap.
Leroi pauses, turns his head, but doesn’t look me in the eye. He’s probably just expanding his peripheral vision or something just as tactical.
“What?” he asks.
“I still don’t understand why I can’t kiss you, but you can kiss me whenever you feel like it, and I don’t get why you can touch me, but I can’t touch you.”
He finally turns around, his lips parting to speak.
“That’s your choice,” I say before he can repeat himself. “But why do you always leave me behind?”
His brow forms a deep V that accentuates the angles of his face. At this time of the morning, sunlight filters through the window, bathing the contours of his muscles in light and shadow. He looks sharp and sculpted, like a living statue, dipped in bronze.
My gaze wanders to the carotid artery protruding on his neck. I want to run my tongue over it to feel the pulse of his blood.
“You need to work on your impulsiveness,” he says.
“What does that mean?”
“Pietro Fiori’s home was within view of the Capello mansion. Our plan was to put a tracker on his car and ambush him once he left Queen’s Gardens, but what did you do?”
My jaw clenches at the memory of rushing out of the car to confront Pietro. It took a second for him to recognize me as the girl he drove to and from missions before he bolted.
“What’s your point?” I snap. “Blame that disguise, not me. Besides, we got what we wanted, didn’t we?”
He advances on me, his nostrils flaring. “You charged at him! There’s no disguise that would have worked to cover your murderous intent.”
I swing my legs off the bed and stand with my fists balled, ready for a fight. Leroi stops so close to me I can feel the heat of his skin. My stomach butterflies flutter. I’ve never seen someone radiate so much power and strength.
He flashes his teeth. “If he had screamed, every Capello sympathizer in the vicinity would have known that the man who killed their employer was close. We would have been surrounded in seconds.”
“So, what?” I raise my chin, refusing to see his point.
“You don’t think before you act,” he snarls. “That’s why I leave you behind. How did you stay controlled enough to perform so many assassinations without getting yourself killed?”
“They were just pictures on a screen, not people I wanted dead,” I snap back. “And don’t change the subject.”
He huffs a laugh, but the sound carries no warmth, and his eyes narrow into slits. “You little brat.”
“What was the point of saving me and helping me get revenge if you keep me locked up like some kind of damsel?” I resist the urge to stamp my foot. “It’s not giving me any closure.”
Leroi’s eyes soften, and the tightness of his muscles relaxes. He reaches out and cups the side of my face, his thumb tracing a gentle line across my cheekbone.
“You want to hunt?” he asks, his voice less harsh.
I nod.
“Stalking your prey requires patience, control, and stealth. If you rush at your targets like you did with Pietro, you will get yourself killed.”
“It won’t happen again,” I say.
“It’s why I plan on training you out of your recklessness.” Leroi drops his hand and steps away, pulling back his warmth.
My heart drops at the absence of his touch. He thinks I’m a liability just because I’m not cold and contained like him?
“Do you regret saving me?” I ask.
“Of course not,” he says, his features a blank mask.
“Because you act like I’m a burden sent to ruin your life of perfection and control.”
The corner of his lips lifts into a tiny smile, and his hands slide to my shoulders. “You’re brave, determined, and strong. I don’t know anyone who could survive what you did and still be standing.”
My cheeks heat without my permission, and I glance away. Compliments like that are like honeyed poison, and remind me of Dad. He made me feel like I was the light of his life. At least until the moment he thrust me into a life of darkness.
Men spout bullshit every day. I heard it on missions, in the twins snarled threats, even in the cold compliments of the handler. They say whatever is needed to get what they want, then they spit you out the moment you’re not needed.
“Seraphine,” he says. “Look at me.”
“What’s your endgame?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“You have to be helping me for a reason. What is it?” I fold my arms over my chest.
He stares down at me for several heartbeats until my insides twist and squirm. I hold his gaze, my features hardening. If he thinks I’ll cower, he can guess again. I’ve suffered far worse than a man’s scrutiny.
Leroi rubs his brow. “Any man who mistreats women and children deserves to die painfully, but killing them isn’t enough. These bastards live rent-free through the minds of their victims, and I can’t tolerate that.”
“What does that mean?”
“I want to erase the memory of what Capello and the others did to you, so all parts of them die,” he says.
My breath shallows. “That’s all?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did my dad hurt you, too?”
He shakes his head. “I never knew the man.”
“Then why do you feel so strongly about this?”
An emotion flashes across his features. I can’t tell if it’s discomfort or indecision, but he closes his eyes and exhales. When he opens them again, it’s with a look of determination that makes me straighten.
“When I was nine, my mother married a police officer who started beating her shortly after. I tried to stop it, but I was too small, too weak. It went on for years, but she wouldn’t leave. One day, I found the bastard on top of my sister and something inside me snapped.”
“What did you do?” I whisper.
“I shot him in the head.”
I nod. “Good.”
He glances away. “But he refused to die. My sister and mother were horrified and looked at me like I was a monster.”
My lips part with a gasp. “But you saved them.”
The laugh he gives me is bitter. “There was blood all over the carpet and bits of brains on the wall. That bastard clung onto life like a demon, filling my sister’s room with his ragged breaths. It was a fucking mess.”
“What happened next?”
“My mother called her cousin. He finished off my stepfather, cleaned up the scene of the crime, and took me.”
I flinch, my jaw dropping. “Why?”
“They said the state of New Alderney would have tried me as an adult for murdering a police officer,” he replies, his voice laced with bitterness. “I had to disappear.”
“For how long?”
A muscle flexes in his jaw. “Forever.” At my frown, he adds, “I tracked my mother and sister down to California when I turned eighteen, and they were horrified. they wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Why?”
“They said only a psychopath could kill someone so brutally.” He shakes his head as though he still can’t believe what he heard. “My mother said the bastard had his faults, and I never gave him the benefit of the doubt. According to her, what I saw was a misunderstanding.”
“B-but didn’t your sister speak up for you?”
He grimaces. “She agreed with my mother, but what else explains why a man would pin down a half-naked girl and expose his penis?”
My lips part with a gasp. “Unbelievable.”
“They both had to pack up everything and leave town,” he snarls. “They said I ruined everything and that he was a good provider.”
“What?”
“As if putting food on the table and paying the bills justifies what he did,” he says through clenched teeth.
I rest my head on his chest. “Is that why you saved me?”
“No matter what they say, I will always eliminate anyone who hurts women and children,” he growls. “And when I found you, I wanted to erase every trace of Capello, including the version that lived in your trauma.”
Sliding both hands up his pecs, I tilt my head and meet his gaze. There’s no pain in his eyes, only fury. Leroi’s backstory explains so much, especially why he’s so controlled and hates mistakes. I don’t understand his family’s ingratitude.
It’s disgusting.
“If you came to me on that night five years ago and killed those men, I wouldn’t have been horrified,” I murmur. “I would have worshiped you like a god.”
Leroi’s eyes widen, and his face falls extraordinarily still. Without another word, he turns around and stalks into the bathroom, leaving me wondering what on earth I said wrong now.