Tales of Midbar: Secret Priest

We materialized looking out over the desert that covered most the planet, bathed in the red light of Aleph. We were on a patio on a mountain side and down the hill below us we could see a small town, presumably Ravdas. Behind us was a beautiful ruin and we were standing on the patio at the front which had stone benches round an empty pond with a stone fish wearing a wide brimmed hat in the middle, probably the spout of a fountain. Dwendra and myself sat on a bench with Egrindreth on the edge of the fountain.

“Do you have another sleg and three more slemetot lined up to found a clan or are you going to join one?” asked Egrindreth. “The Vineyard’s looking to adopt some more slegmetot as they only have one unmarried clamet.”

“Will I not hath to converteth unto Winemakerism to join the Vineyard beit?” asked Dwendra.

“I think so,” said Egrindreth. “I’m thinking about it but I’m known in Pax as a Trulist. I know I’ve officially converted in Hecrin but I think people will still look down on me for it, particularly as I was chosen as a Temple Prostitute.”

It took me a couple of seconds to work out what they were talking about and I found it shocking, in spite of the fact I knew Dwendra had considered me a priest since before our trip to Kledris.

“We still needeth to decideth what to doeth about our religious differences,” said Dwendra. “Perhaps we couldst asketh them about that because I doth suspecteth they hath not kepteth unto strict Yohoism.”

“We need to ask them to stop messing with us,” I said.

“If they believeth thou to be a priest they shouldst payeth thou tithes and giveth thou authority in their organization,” said Dwendra. “If they accepteth me as Sixteen, they shouldst recognizeth me as a Vinedresser.”

“Do you want that?” asked Egrindreth.

“I’m not sure,” I said.

“I believeth Yoho didst bringeth me unto this time for a reason,” said Dwendra. “I must findeth his truth and teacheth it unto others.”

“They said they couldn’t make decisions because some of their leaders were killed,” I said. “But we could ask them about the possibilities of that. I’m sure Yoldasia would be horrified by the thought but I’m not so sure about the others. I also think they need to compensate the girls they’ve raped, me for mental cruelty and probably a lot of other people.”

“Could be a hard sell,” said Egrindreth.

“I think it needs to be raised,” I said, “perhaps don’t push it too hard, at least not for now. This treaty seems to allow for that sort of thing.”

“If you’re looking for truth,” said Egrindreth, “you could try touching the doors to the shrine crypt. Some people say that shows them things.”

We returned to the refectory to find Mum and Ice sitting outside. I don’t know what Ice had told Mum but she looked, well probably like you’d expect somebody to look if they’d suddenly discovered their son could teleport and was friendly with a legendary character from a thousand years ago and her friends were having girls raped. Obviously Mum must have known about psychic powers and magic all her life, had been married to a psychic mage for twenty years and born two anavim to him but hipsickim just aren’t generally good at logically thinking things through.

“If you let me know what your main concerns are,” said Ice, “I’ll try and put the issues in a sensible order.”

“Well,” said Ice, when we went back inside the refectory, “it seems Clindar and Dwenda have far more questions than the others. I think it best to go from the more theoretical and ideological to the more practical, then we can make the practical consistent with the ideological rather than trying to do it the other way round. Firstly, Clindar and Dwendra would like an explanation of Benai Nibeyim’s religious beliefs.”

Yoldasia, Quandat and Vardnin looked at each other in horror. Mum rolled her eyes.

“Well we’re trying to preserve Yohoism,” said Quandat. “I don’t think that’s a sufficiently good answer is it? I think you’ll find a fair range of beliefs in our organization. It used to be said if you asked three Yohoists a question you’d get at least four answers. Most of us do worship Yoho. Some are Winemakers who perhaps have a bit more emphasis on the Yohoist scriptures than normal Winemakers. Some are effectively Trulists, believing Yoho is one of many gods. Some don’t believe in the gods or aren’t very religious. I think you get pretty well everything in between.”

“We’re really waiting for the promised anav priest to show us the way,” said Yoldasia, crossly, “although some think he’s Yoho’s avatar. Some even thought it might be you!”

“Dost thou knoweth the Book of Scholars?” asked Dwendra.

“It’s a lot to read,” said Yoldasia. “Of course the Winemakers reject it as it says Yoho can’t have a son or avatar and his promised anav priest can’t be Yoho’s supposed avatar.”

“Some of us insist on keeping it precisely for those reasons,” said Vardnin.

“Some reject it for that reason,” said Buxnir.

“Canst thou not constructeth an argument against Yoho’s avatar from the scriptures?” asked Dwendra.

“No,” said Buxnir. “At least not without some very convoluted reasoning.”

“The Scholars is a commentary on the scriptures,” said Vardnin.

“But a very biased one,” said Buxnir.

There was a pause and Ice said, “Next question, would it be possible for Clindar to have some authority in Benai Nibeyim?”

Again they looked uncomfortable. Buxnir looked as if he was seriously considering saying something.

“I think I should clarify that,” I said. “I haven’t decided this is a good idea. I’d like to know what doing that would require from me. What are the options?”

“Are you saying you’d actually like to join Benai Nibeyim?” asked Yoldasia, as if this was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.

Mum clearly wasn’t comfortable with that.

“I haven’t decided,” I said. “I don’t know what that would entail either.”

“I foreseeth problems like being expected to followeth absurd rules and orders such as raping girls or killing himself when somebody asketh him a question,” said Dwendra.

“This is a complicated matter that would have to be discussed,” said Quandat.