Tales of Midbar: Secret Priest

We arrived in the Cascade Hotel and found there were a number of psychics, probably magi, in the restaurant. We went up to the desk where a somewhat tired and confused looking faharni hipsickah was sitting.

“Excuse me,” I asked. “I was wondering if I could speak to Aublelma or Mildras.”

“I’m sorry I’m not allowed to tell you about guests,” she said, looking at us as if we were insane.

I’d been hoping she’d assume we knew the avatars if we used their names. I realized she knew the names of the avatars and thought we were insane for expecting them to be there.

“Then could we talk to Eleprin?”

“I think she’s in the conference room,” said the woman, indicating a corridor.

Eleprin and Breeze were putting out chairs in the large room.

“Hi,” I said to them.

“Greetings,” said Dwendra.

“Sorry,” said Breeze, “but I’m rather busy now.”

“We art seeking advice about how to reconcileth our conflicting religious views,” said Dwendra.

“Convert to Winemakerism,” said Breeze. “All you have to do is enter Hecrin, doesn’t matter if you do it illegally, and go to a Winemaker religious institution and fill in official papers.”

Of course entering Hecrin illegally was very easy for us.

“It’s whether you accept Yoho’s avatar’s gift that’s important,” said Eleprin, giving Breeze a cross look.

“I know,” said Breeze. “That’s if they want to officially convert.”

“That dost not helpeth,” said Dwendra. “We seeketh convincing proof of what art true.”

“You’ve seen more than most people,” said Breeze. “There are reasons why most anavim are Winemakers.”

She waved her hands around and a group of chairs flew through the air and landed in a row.

“I’d rather my parents didn’t know you were the magis,” said Eleprin.

“It will be officially announced after the conference,” said Breeze.

“And I will swear to my parents I never suspected anything and you certainly didn’t equip me.”

“We were hoping we could speak to the avatars,” I said, “or at least one of them.”

“I don’t think they’ve arrived yet,” said Eleprin. “Anyway they’re being kept in private rooms until it’s time for them to speak at the conference.”

“There’s rumors the Trulists will execute them after the conference,” I said, “so this might be our only chance.”

Eleprin looked around, obviously feeling uncomfortable, “I don’t want anybody messing this up!”

“We merely wisheth to talketh unto them,” said Dwendra.

“Who are you?” asked Eleprin. “I know we’ve met before but you’ve always puzzled me. I’ve met some strange anavim but you’re the only one who looks like a glildac and talks like people did centuries ago. Nearly all anavim speak fluent, modern Faharni with a western mountains accent.” Then she looked at me and said, “There’s something odd about you as well.”

“He was bred by Benai Nibeyim,” said Breeze, “and they seem to think he’s important. She’s, well that’s complicated.” Breeze used magic to move another row of chairs.

“There art secrets of Haprihagfen which I art bound to keepeth.”

“What exactly is your religious problem?” asked Eleprin.

We proceeded to explain as they continued arranging chairs. Breeze used magic but Eleprin didn’t.

“The Book of Scholars isn’t scriptural,” said Eleprin when we’d finished. I felt she had very strong feelings about this. “It was mostly written to misinterpret scripture in order to dismiss the claims of Winemakerism.”

Perhaps she was just a very passionate person as she also had strong feelings about not wanting us to mess things up. This may explain why her vibes were stronger than those of any other nibeyah I’d ever met. I still had this weird feeling she reminded me of somebody else.

“Well a Winemaker wouldst sayeth that!”

“It’s true!” said Eleprin. “It wasn’t written until Winemakerism arose. Check your history!”

“Eleprin’s got an amazing knowledge of scripture,” said Breeze.

“So what doth scripture sayeth about the prophesied anav priest?”

“That’s Yoho’s avatar,” said Eleprin. “It’s prophesied he’ll be born to the royal line so he won’t be part of the hereditary priesthood, well he could if you don’t assume priests have to be male line descendents of Fandril, which is exactly what happened.”

“Oh. What about the prophecy that he wilt restoreth Midbar?”

“What?”

“Orbraag eight, sixteen.”

“Orbraag!,” said Eleprin. “That’s apocryphal! He was a prophet who lived after the Landing. A good man who would probably be horrified to know some people considered his work to be scripture.”

“A number of his prophecies have come true,” said Breeze. “Like the Cataclysm!”

“You think he’s the prophesied priest!” said Eleprin, waving her hand at me. “The priesthood was wiped out in the Cataclysm. It wasn’t!”

She was also an annoyingly good mind reader.

“Did you do something strange to her?” I asked Breeze.

“She was the first mage I equipped. I gave her a rather unique associate which enhances her psychic powers.”

“Apparently the priests weren’t really killed,” I decided I needed to say this, “and their descendants have been tracked by Benai Nibeyim. As they think I’m a priest, they won’t let me have sex with anybody except Dwendra but they also seem to have a problem with that. It’s like having a controlling mother with a split personality or something.”

“Why her?” said Eleprin. “You’re somebody special aren’t you, not just an anavah? Another avatar? A Yohoist priest is supposed to marry a female, virgin, psychic Yohoist or a priest’s widow, although there’s nothing in scripture says a woman can’t be a priest and it just says a priest must be a descendant of Fandril, not specifically a male line descendant. You look glildac but they’re supposed to be extinct and you talk like somebody from before the Cataclysm. You’re this Sixteen person but you’re early! The sixteenth child of a likhatz couple should be an anav or anavah but, of course, any child stands a one in sixteen chance!”

“Likhatz!” said Dwendra. “Where didst thou heareth that word?”

“I study a lot,” said Eleprin. This wasn’t entirely true. “Yes Benai Nibeyim should be trying to breed anavim about now but I’m surprised they’re still doing it. Messy process but when they tried genetic engineering and reproductive technology things got even messier. Of course they banned that after some disasters which you should have been taught about in school. Anyway have I answered your questions?”

“Why don’t Winemakers keepeth many of the scriptural laws?”

“This is where I disagree with most Winemakers,” said Eleprin. “I can find nothing in scripture to tell us that’s been changed.”

“Haprihagfen follow those rules more closely than most Winemakers,” said Breeze. “Of course the ones about specific dates had to be tweaked rather for Midbar and some of the food rules are awkward because of what’s available, particularly if you’re traveling.”

“Anything else?” asked Eleprin.

“We were really hoping to talk to an avatar,” I said. “The friend of the Vineyard Magis isn’t really special.”

“So speaks an anav priest, possibly but not the prophesied priest,” said Eleprin. “Oh and Sixteen.”

“Thou doth not knoweth who I really art!”

“Don’t tell her!” said Breeze. “That’s something she isn’t supposed to know!”

Eleprin looked at Dwendra for a few seconds, “So you’ve got a mega secret. If you tell me I may be able to arrange for you to talk to an avatar.”

“Don’t!” said Breeze. “Concussion spells don’t work on her!”

“Benai Nibeyim knoweth who I art. Doth thou trusteth them more than your friend?”

Breeze stared at her for a few seconds, clearly thinking this over. “All right. Dwendra is Nuhar Zorg’s wife ...”

“Bride, the marriage wert never consummated!”

“... who’s come forward in time, obviously.”

Eleprin broke out in a huge grin and then sniggered. “You mean Nuhar Zorg’s wife was the one to come forward in time and she’s a Yohoist! That’s hysterical! The Nuharas will totally hate that! I take it Zorg got lost in hyperspace of something.”

“No, clobbered unto death with a tent peg mallet and stabbed multiple times with a magic knife and then dismembered and fed into a disposal unit.”

“That’s just so brilliant!” said Eleprin. “How were you transported forward in time? Did you have your memories and personality recorded, stored and then transferred to a new body?”

“No. All of me, body and mind, wast transported. It wast a sort of wormhole thing, I suppose, I don’t entirely understandeth it. Now canst thou let us speaketh unto an avatar?”