Take me to the Deepest Blue

It was a strange and exhilaratingly familiar sensation to be surrounded by the waters again. She let go of the inhibitions that bounded her on land and sped freely through the current. As she swam through an underwater trench on the seabed, she passed a community of merpeople that she’d never seen before. They had fairer skins and slightly different features, and their tails were less colorful than those back home. The scales that decorated the mermaids’ chests meticulously matched the colors of their tails, whereas at home, all mermaids had colorful, mismatched chest and tail scales. In this new place, they stopped and gawked at her sudden intrusion. She felt their gaze on her as she hurried on her way. There was no time to stop and explain why she was here, and she knew she was breaking the rules passing by unannounced with no formal greeting.

There was a gnawing sense of urgency she seldom had felt—like it was of the utmost importance being on land with that one specific person. She hoped that nothing would be misconstrued by this community, and she avoided meeting their curious stares. To prevent any unwanted gossip reaching her grid, she would leave the deep end of the ocean and swim closer to the surface. She hoped she hadn’t lingered long enough for anyone to memorize the pattern of her tail and identify her. Lunging upward, she moved her tail as swiftly as possible and swam toward the surface, passing a lone, frilled shark, a group of spooked fangtooth fishes, and a curious vampire squid that followed her for a few miles before giving up its chase.

As she neared the surface, she joined a pod of dolphins heading in the same direction. Their pace was to her liking and she could sense that they welcomed her presence. Their movements were swift and graceful, and she was thrilled to have them as companions on her long journey back. One dolphin approached her and rubbed against her tail with its pectoral fin, and she sensed it was ready to jump out of the water for a quick breather. She reached out and held unto its fin, and they emerged from underwater, feeling invincible as they soared over the rolling waves. She lifted her head and felt enfolded by the starry night sky.

He stared at the flight of stairs and blew out his breath in exasperation. After no sleep throughout two back to back flights, he was exhausted. His mind had deliberately prevented him from taking a rest. It was filled with snippets of conversation with Katie on the day before the accident, and of things he wished he had said to her had he known they had so little time left. Narya’s face would occasionally come into view and ease his sufferings. But the raw absence of her forced him to think of something else to end that feeling of dreary emptiness.

On the taxi ride from the airport, Louise speculated incessantly on Narya and Ken Lauer’s mysterious relationship. It bothered him to hear their names spoken together, but he had to admit that he, too, wondered about them.

“You know what I think?” Louise said with pride, as though she had discovered something newsworthy. “I think our little friend Narya has some exclusive information about Ken Lauer, and she’s blackmailing him.”

Nick dismissed her speculation with a scoff.

“Look,” she said insistently, why else would he seem so nervous around her? You saw him earlier today—come on, you don’t think that she could get a guy like that!”

“And why the hell not?” Nick snapped and immediately regretted it.

“I’m sorry. I’m just—really tired.” He pulled up the hood of his sweater and sank back into his seat, letting the silence overwhelm the awkwardness.

He made his way grudgingly up the stairs with his duffle bag slung across his shoulder when he suddenly slipped on wet surface. Grabbing onto the railing, he quickly steadied himself.

“What the . . .” He looked at the ground he had slipped on and saw large puddles of water everywhere—like someone had walked up drenched in water. His eyes followed the wet trail right up to his door.

He had no idea where the glimmer came from until he saw a small figure curled up in the corner of his doorway. Still unsure, he took out his phone and turned on the flashlight, aiming it directly at the unclear figure.

Narya lifted her head and rubbed her eyes when the light shone on her. She was drenched from head to toe and still wearing the purple dress he had picked out for her at the mall. Her long, wet hair was stuck to her shoulders and back, and water dripped from her dress. Puddles on the ground reflected her dress, and she appeared to be emerging from another world, an ethereal creature out of a mythical tale.

“Hi.” He stood still by the staircase, unable to say much else.

“Hi!” Narya got up and rushed toward him, water slushing under her feet as she moved.

“You’re back.” He tried to grasp the fact that the girl he had been thinking of with each step he took to reach here, actually had materialized before him.

“Yes, I am,” she said, unable to keep herself from smiling.

They stood at such proximity that the water from her hair dripped on the tip of his shoes. As he took a step closer, he slipped on the wet ground and grabbed unto her arm. They laughed simultaneously, momentarily held captive by the exhilarating moment of being in each other’s embrace. Dawn crept in from the window in the stairwell, lighting Narya’s flaxen hair and making her look even more intoxicating. He tucked a strand behind her ear, and breathed in the scent of seawater.

“Hey, so Pete just called . . .”

Nick jumped back at the sound of Louise’s voice. He felt like he had been caught doing something behind her back.

Louise’s eyes showed only her shock seeing Narya beside Nick. “Hey . . . when did you—how did you get back here?”

Narya smiled and shrugged her shoulders as if it were an irrelevant question.

“And why are you so wet? How the hell did you get here—swim?” Louise’s voice rose, and he was glad to detect a bit of concern in her tone. Finally, someone she may care about other than herself.

Narya shrank back at Louise’s questions and forwardness. The warmth she had exuded a minute before now vanished, and she retreated like a clam closing its shell.

“So what did Pete say?” Nick asked, feeling the need to step in.

“Huh? Oh . . .” Louise grimaced at the mention of their professor’s name. “He wants us to do a shark tag. Like now. Can you imagine? The nerve of that guy . . . we literally just got off the plane. I’d better get going before he kills someone.” She headed toward the stairs then turned back.

“Are you both coming?”

Narya felt the waves rocking them, a bit too violently for her taste. It was never too bad underwater, and she feared she might be getting seasick. The boat, as functional as it was, felt claustrophobic. She was getting better at traveling above waters, but her stomach still churned when she saw a splash of water or incoming waves high enough to sink the boat. She stared at her naked legs, vulnerable to instant transition if she fell into the water. When she and Nick had rushed to follow Louise, she didn’t have time to change into anything else. When she showed up at the dock in her evening dress, Pete gawked at her inappropriate attire.

Nick, Louise and Pete began to set up the cage that would hold someone brave enough to tag a great white.

“Narya, right?” Pete asked, a cigarette between his lips. He pronounced her name Na-ree-ah, smirking at her as he nonchalantly blew the smoke out. She sat in the middle of the boat, her long, windswept hair covering half her face.

“Yes,” she said, her voice sounding small.

Pete’s towering figure held a bucket of fish meat like a prized possession.

“Well, today is your lucky day, ha ha! What do you say you go down there in that nice contraption, eh?”

His maniacal laugh unsettled her, but she managed to squeeze out a smile. Following his finger, she saw that he was pointing to the cage being lowered into the water.

Nick, overhearing their conversation, came to her side. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” he said, looking warily at the cage.

“Come on! Let the poor girl speak for herself!” Pete jokingly pushed Nick aside and shoved the fish bucket into his arms. He strode toward Narya and knelt down beside her.

“What do you say? It’s a once in a lifetime experience.”

She detected no hint of friendliness in his eyes as she looked past him to the open waters and contemplated diving in.

“Alright, Pete. Quit bothering her, will you? Can’t you see the poor girl’s about to throw up in your boat?” Louise unexpectedly cut into the small distance between Narya and Pete and pulled her up with one hand. “Come on, you hold this, and I’ll get changed to get into that cage.”

She handed Narya another bucket full of fish heads, leaving her unsure whether she was grateful or sickened. Her knees almost buckled when she looked down at the poor, decapitated fishes.

Pete waved his hands as though to dismiss them. “Aw, you people are no fun.” He walked away sulkily and sat down near the front of the boat with his binoculars.

He seemed so determined a minute ago, Narya thought. She feared he’d come back to her, and she stuck close to Louise, her unexpected ally in this situation.

“You doing okay with that? Louise asked. “Don’t spill it before we need to.” Her voice was authoritative and firm. This was the Louise she knew.

“Good save, Lou.” Nick patted Louise on the back as he passed by and continued prepping the cage.

“You ready?” Nick shouted to Louise, who was checking her mask and oxygen tank. Her slim figure was accented by her full-body wet suit, and Narya couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked as she descended into the aluminum cage. She gave them a thumbs up.

Pete cackled and muttered something incomprehensible before taking another sip of his second beer that morning.

Nick beamed at Narya as if he were showing off something grand. “I bet you’ve never seen this before.”

She wanted to agree, but she couldn’t see the sense of meeting a shark behind a cage. She didn’t know any shark that had deliberately attacked a free diver underwater. But she’d seen them gnawing on debris, and broken cages. She waited patiently for what was to come.

“Time to spill the casualties overboard!” Pete shouted from where he sat.

“Let’s do it. You ready?” Nick held one bucket while Narya took the other in her arms, trying desperately not to gag. Together, they dumped the contents into the water and watched the meat float about before sinking. The red color encircled the boat, and Narya felt her knees buckling yet again.

“Hey, hey! Nick caught her before she landed on the ground. He sat her down gently. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” She still felt dizzy but at least she couldn’t see the fish meat anymore. She sat up on her own, supported by her hands.

“Okay, well, just stay here. I have to—”

She felt a hard thud and the boat shook violently.

Pete struggled to stand up with two beers in his hands.

“Did you feel that?” Nick rushed to the side of the boat to check on Louise.

Another thud. This time, it was strong enough to almost throw Nick overboard, but he grabbed onto the side railing of the boat.

“Do you see anything?” Pete shouted from where he stood. A broken bottle of beer lay near his feet. “Damn it, I gotta clean this up.” As he crouched down to pick up the shattered glass, another thud threw him off balance.

“Shit! What the hell is that?” He pierced his hand with one of the broken pieces and cursed first at himself, and then at the beer.

Nick struggled to stand, looking distraught at the underwater movement. “I don’t know, I don’t . . . I don’t see—”

Narya crawled toward the side of the boat and froze as soon as she saw him.

Grey. With his distinct scar on the top corner of his fin, she instantly knew it was him. Even above water, she could sense him. But there was something different about Grey. His gentle and graceful demeanor was gone. Today, his body language appeared fierce and signaled attack mode. He was getting ready to thrust himself toward the cage.

Grey had no reason to attack anything near the surface. His preferred prey were all in the deeper end of the ocean. Neither the boat nor the cage posed visible threats to him. She saw Louise helplessly trapped in the cage, and it suddenly clicked. Grey must have sensed her near the boat just as she had sensed him from where she stood. He must have thought she was the one trapped inside the cage. He was trying to free her.

“You have to get her out of there!” Nick and Pete tried to pull the cage up.

A low, cracking sound of metal crushing raised another alarm. This was too slow for Grey’s ferocious movements. He would break that cage before they’d be able to pull her up.

“Oh, shit.” Nick continued to yank at the chain but there was no movement.

Pete stepped back, panting for breath. “It’s stuck, isn’t it? This fucking chain, I knew it!” Flustered and angry, he kicked the useless metal that lay on the ground.

Another thud. Someone had to move fast. Should she try and transition back to lead Grey away from the boat? She would risk exposing her identity in a boat full of marine biologists whose jobs were to discover new underwater species. She closed her eyes. Think. Think. Think.

“Can’t she just open the cage and swim out?” It sounded dangerous, but this was the only other option. They couldn’t know how angry Grey was, and once he broke that cage free and discovered Louise instead of her, she dreaded finding out what he may do out of blind fury.

“I don’t know,” Nick replied. His hands were clasped around the metal chain and his eyes fixed on the horizon.

He hadn’t panicked like Pete, but she could see his lips trembling as he tried to stay calm and figure out a plan. Every passing second brought Louise closer to a doomed underwater fate.

“Someone needs to go down there,” she said. And it can’t be me. She looked at Nick and Pete.

Nick nodded absently and turned to Pete.

“What? Me? Are you crazy? With an angry shark? You’re both out of your fucking minds!” His hand continued bleeding and he busily tied a towel around it.

“You’re responsible for this shark tagging, Pete!” Nick was losing his cool, and Narya’s eyes stayed on the water. Grey pounded on the cage below, and they could all feel the rhythmic thuds. It wasn’t going to get any better.

“Look,” Pete said, “she signed up for it herself. And—and I’m sure the shark will back off—”

“Are you kidding me, Pete? You have no better plan than hoping that the shark will back off?”

“Hey, hey! I’d like to see you get into the waters! When are you going to get over your fucking water phobia?”

The thuds grew louder, and Narya swore she had heard something crack. That cage would break if she didn’t do something soon.

A loud splash of water silenced both men. Nick turned and his face blanched when he saw that Narya was no longer there. He and Pete rushed to the side of the boat. Her blurred figure swam toward the cage. The waves that the shark had made in the water scrambled his view.

“Holy shit!” Pete scratched his head with his bleeding hand, unaware that the towel he had used to bandage it had come off.

Nick stared into the water. It was time to get over his fear. He shuddered as he tried to visualize immersing himself into the ocean. The sound of the waves hitting the boat weren’t helping. He tried to focus on all the good things within the deep blue that encompassed all that he craved to see.

Narya’s transformation was almost instant. This was her second transition. If Keames was wrong, then she had, at most, seven left. She felt an immediate rejuvenation as she jumped in, the fresh seawater enwrapping her body like a second skin. She didn’t have time to catch a glimpse of her tail to make sure every scale was still in place. From where she was, she could see the top of Grey’s fin and the mangled cage. Louise’s head was bowed, and she looked like she had been knocked unconscious. With a speed that even Keames would have found impressive, Narya swam toward the cage.

Grey stopped as soon as he felt her approach. It’s me, Grey. Come to me.

She saw him turn and glide toward her and she felt the stone that was pressing against her chest drop instantly. Grey was now circling around her, his movement buoyant and she could tell that he was thrilled to be reunited with her underwater after so long. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.

She touched his snout gently and made sure he was aware of what she was going to do before she swam out to Louise.

She gingerly opened the top of the mangled cage. Louise’s stillness frightened her, and there was no reaction when she attempted to pull her out. But it was better this way—that she remain unconscious for the moment rather than witness her in her true form. She entered the cage and took Louise’s face in her hands. How long had she been down here now? What if they come looking for her? She wrapped Louise’s arm around her shoulder and swam toward the surface.

“Ok, I’m going down there.” Nick said. You fool, you waited for too long. He cursed at himself repeatedly before he took off his shirt and got into a diving position.

Pete pointed at something in the water. “Wait! What the hell is that?”

Two figures approached the boat and as they reached the side, Louise emerged from the water. She was not moving, and he could make out Narya’s face underwater before she came up. Louise’s head rested on her shoulders, and he wondered how she had managed to get her out on her own.

Narya’s eyes flitted nervously around. “Just take her. I’ll be right back.”

Nick was pulling Louise up when he caught on to what she was saying. “No . . . no! Come up now!” He wouldn’t entertain her silly ideas now, and he gestured for her to get back onboard while Pete laid Louise’s limp body on the floor of the boat.

“Narya, we need to get back to shore now!”

“Just go first!”

In a blink of an eye she was nowhere to be seen.

“Narya!” Where the hell did she think she was going?

“Nick I’m no expert at this . . . And I don’t know if she’s actually breathing!” Pete sounded breathless from the exertion of pulling Louise out of the water.

Nick felt her pulse. It was there, but too low, and he shook his head in exasperation. How did he get himself into another mess like this? He glanced back to the waters. Where the hell did she go? And where was that shark?

Standing by the edge of the boat, he stared into the deep blue—its dark color and tempestuous waves mirrored the storm ravaging within him. It tightened the knot in his chest, and thinking back now, it only ever loosened its grip with Narya’s presence. He could hear his own heart beating, pleading for him to make a decision.

“Listen, you take Lou back now.” He pulled out the emergency raft and threw it in the water. “I’m borrowing this.”

He grabbed an oar and a diving mask from under the bench and threw them onto the raft. He put on the mask and fixed it firmly around his face. This is just another dive into the ocean. Back where he vowed never to return. Just another dive. Another deep breath.

All he had to do was jump, and so he did.

“What the fuck?—Nick!” Pete called after him, but it was too late.

He hadn’t felt as free and unchained in so long. From underwater, he could hear the motor of the boat. That meant Pete was following instructions—for once. Meanwhile, he had to find Narya and bring her back to safety.

As he dove deeper, there was little he could see. The water was murky and dark. He didn’t have long before he’d have to surface again for breath. He couldn’t help feeling intimidated by his surroundings, despite it being familiar territory. It had been too long since he’d been down here—since Katie. As he tried to untangle himself from his encumbering thoughts, he saw her.

A vision he’d surely seen before.

I must be imagining this. It can’t be real.