Stone Cold Notes: A Rock Star Romance (The Seasons Change)

I WAS FUMING, and I had nowhere to direct my anger. How the fuck could I murder student loans that shouldn’t have existed?

I had taken care of that for Wren back when I found her. She’d deserved to go to college, even if her plans had gotten waylaid by having Ez. And since I couldn’t give her money directly, I had a lawyer—one of my many, many shady relatives—draft a letter to her great-aunt Jenny telling her the fifty-thousand dollars she was receiving was from a fund for widows of fallen police officers she mistakenly hadn’t received when her husband died years earlier. I assumed, wrongly it turned out, she’d pay for Wren’s schooling.

Yet, here she was, three years later, buried under debt. Debt she should not have had. Debt that would keep her tied to a job she barely liked and not on the road with me where we both knew she’d rather be.

My parents would be ashamed of me. My grift had had far too many holes. They’d taught me better than that. Always look at a grift from every angle because what could go wrong inevitably would go wrong. I should have looked at it from every angle. At the time, I was blinded by emotion at finding Wren, and clearly, I hadn’t been thinking straight.

I did a hell of a lot better when I paid off her hospital bills.

Wren allowed me my silence. Inside my apartment, after locking us up tight, I turned her to me and unbuttoned her coat. She turned away and allowed me to slide it from her shoulders. I hung hers up, and mine followed.

She walked to the kitchen while I did this, and I found her there drinking water from a glass. Her eyebrows raised, but she didn’t ask. I felt her anger, and I didn’t like it. She was my soft girl, my sweet girl, the girl I wanted to make happy every second of her day. It killed me to be the cause of her anger.

She placed the glass on the counter, but kept her fingers curled around it. Her tongue darted out to lick a drop of water from her upper lip.

“I don’t care your reason, dragging me out of that party the way you did was not okay.”

She wasn’t yelling, even though she’d once told me she yelled when she was pissed. Maybe she wasn’t as angry as I’d thought. Then, she went on, and it was worse.

“I’m so embarrassed, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look any of your bandmates in the eye again. You know better than anyone how difficult social settings like that are for me. I thought I was doing well. I truly did. Then you dragged me out like I was a tantruming child, and I really need to know what I did wrong to deserve that treatment.”

I reached for her, but she held up a hand. That wasn’t acceptable, so I snagged her hip and tugged her closer. I gave her space, but not so much that I couldn’t keep my hands on her.

“Callum…I need you to speak.” Her hands lay gently on my chest. “I need you to explain this to me so I can understand.”

If I dropped to my knees and tongue fucked her, she’d forgive me and forget tonight. I’d make her come as many times as her body could take and she’d melt. My sweet little bird would fall over me, into my arms, and I’d have her again.

She was shoving me now, huffing at my silence, pushing my hands away from gathering her skirt. My eyes met hers, and the wetness pooling there staggered me. My chest caved in like I’d been hit with a boulder.

“Wren…”

She let go of my hands to swipe at her cheeks. “If you’re not going to say anything, I’d like to go home.”

“No.”

“I don’t want to, but I’m not going to let you do what you did without explanation.”

“You don’t take you away from me. You gave me you, and I’m keeping you.”

Her breath hitched. “You claimed me without asking.”

I dipped my forehead to hers. “Don’t pretend you didn’t let me.”

“If I’m yours, you need to take care of me.”

I stilled, her dress bunched in my fists. She was right. She’d given herself over to me, trusting me to be careful. She hadn’t known I’d been caring for her from afar for years. But I’d failed her. I couldn’t right my wrong from three years ago, but I could fix what I’d trampled on tonight.

“You were perfect tonight, Little Bird.” I opened my hands to slide my palms up her sides. “So brave, walkin’ into a room filled with strangers. You don’t even have to speak. Your smile speaks for itself. I was in awe, having you by my side.”

Her body trembled. “If that’s true, why did we leave?”

I took her hand, using her fingers to unbutton my shirt, then slid it inside, over her name on my skin. “This week apart from you was difficult. Almost impossible. I don’t want to repeat it. But this summer, we’re goin’ on tour, and there’s no avoidin’ that. In my head, I’ve been picturing you and Ez ridin’ along with me. Maybe not the whole time, I know the road isn’t the easiest for a little guy, but at least part of it. But in one second, that hope was smashed to bits. You shut it down as soon as Iris brought it up.”

She shook her head. “We haven’t even talked about that…and it’s months away. You can’t know you’ll want me with you then.”

My fingers wrapped around her jaw, tipping it back so our eyes were locked. “I know. Don’t doubt that for one second. You are my one. You are my only. That won’t change.”

She whispered my name, and the tinge of fear in her expression killed me. It fuckin’ killed me because I wasn’t afraid of anything except losing her.

“I can’t quit my job.” From the firmness in her words, she believed there was no bending.

“I’m not askin’ you to do it today.”

Her fingers dragged back and forth on my skin. “But you’re going to ask, and I’ll have to say no. I will hate every second you’re gone, but we’ll find a way to make it work. Other people do it and—”

I yanked her against me, eliminating the space I’d allowed her to have. “I’m not other people. We’re not other people.”

“I know we’re not. If it was just me, I’d consider it, but I have to make the right choice for my son. You know that, baby. I can’t be irresponsible.”

“I’ll take care of you. You just have to let me.”

She stiffened. “Callum—”

“Tell me where to send the money. The loans will be taken care of tomorrow.”

“Why would you do that?”

She seemed truly perplexed, and it didn’t make sense to me. I’d told her from the beginning she was mine. I’d done nothing but show her that was true.

Instead of answering, I asked, “Did I get a fresh slate with you?”

Her head jerked, but her body remained tight in my arms. That was my choice, not hers.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you holdin’ the way I hurt you backstage all those years ago over my head, or did I get a fresh slate?”

“I’m not holding it over your head,” she whispered.

“You sure?”

Her big eyes got even wider. I could see the world inside them, but I could not read her thoughts. That maddened me.

She took her time answering, worrying her lip with her teeth. Then, after an eternity, she shook her head. “I’m not holding it over your head. You have a fresh slate.”

“Then why don’t you trust me?”

“I do.” This was automatic. No thought given to her answer. I liked that.

“Then trust that I am never walkin’ away from you. I tell you I’ll take care of you, so I will.”

“Can you let go of me? I can’t think when I’m in your arms.”

My hold on her tightened. “No. You’re not walkin’ away either.”

“Take my hand then. Keep it in yours. Just let me breathe for a second.”

Though reasonable, I balked at the suggestion. She could think in my arms. I knew damn well I thought better when she was there.

But Wren and I were different. If she asked for two feet of space, that wasn’t unreasonable. I wouldn’t give it to her, but I would give her one.

My arms fell away, but I wove my fingers through hers as soon as they did. She sighed. I was inches from bundling her against me.

“Can we go by the windows? I want to look at the lights.” My little bird peered up at me, and she looked so lost, my heart thrashed with panic, as if she’d been physically harmed. But no, it was just me, making a mess of us.

I took her to the windows. My views were worth shit, but I guess she didn’t much care. She leaned her forehead against the pane while I stood behind her, loosely holding her hips.

My dick wasn’t pressing against her back. She had space.

“Let me pay the loans.”

Oh yeah, I was fuckin’ terrible at space.

She huffed a short laugh. “Callum, come on.” Her head turned to the side, so I took the opportunity to dip down and touch my lips to her cheek. Her lashes fluttered, then she spun to face me. “We haven’t been together long enough for me to allow you to do something so big for me. That’s crazy.”

“It isn’t crazy. When you love someone, you take care of them. I love you too much to let you struggle. I have the resources, and I want to give them to you. If you don’t let me, I’ll find a way to do it anyway. It’s happening.”

Her lips parted. Her chest rose in a heave. “Callum!”

“No. I’m done fightin’ about this, Little Bird.”

She slapped my chest, right over the tattoo, and I couldn’t say it didn’t sting just a little.

“You can’t just tell me you love me so I’ll do what you want.” Her cheeks were blazing. If I thought she’d been angry before, it didn’t touch what she was now.

“Why not?”

“Because…because…” She shoved at me again, releasing a frustrated cry. “Because I have loved you for almost as long as I’ve known you existed, Callum Rose. I’ve wanted you to love me for just as long. But…but…I don’t want it this way.”

The tension in my muscles relaxed, even as Wren huffed and squirmed in my hold.

“I love you, Wren.” She stopped moving. Her face turned up to mine. “I might not have loved you from the very beginning, but I caught on quick. I fell for your words on the screen, but once I saw you, knew you, there was no gettin’ up. So yeah, I love you. And yeah, this might not be perfect, but I’m an imperfect man. I mess up, but I won’t mess up lovin’ you.”

She whimpered and fell against me, circling her arms around my waist. “I love you too.”

“Yeah. I got that,” I murmured into her hair. “I’m so fuckin’ honored you’re givin’ that to me. I need you to let me give back to you.”

Her hands dragged up and down my back, then clamped around my waist again. “Don’t use your love against me.”

“I’m not. I treasure it. I’m only tellin’ you what I need. Takin’ care of you is a requirement for me. I won’t be able to rest knowin’ you’re struggling. That’s part of me lovin’ you.”

“Let me think about it.”

“My answer’s not gonna change.”

“Then let me wrap my mind around it.” She kissed my chest. “I’m sorry I slapped you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

With a groan at her sweetness, I bent my knees, gripped her under her ass, lifted her off her feet, and walked her to the couch. I sat with Wren straddling my legs. Her hands cupped my jaw, then she leaned forward, grazing my lips.

“Wren.”

“Hmmm?”

“Need more of your mouth, Little Bird. After all that, I have to have it.”

Her mouth came to me, a smile curving the corners. We kissed and touched, whispered promises—not the big ones on the tip of my tongue, but small ones, easy ones to keep and accept—and I was content.

At peace.

Wren hadn’t agreed to what I wanted—no, needed, but she would. I’d make sure of it.