Song of Sorrows and Fate: A Dark Fantasy Romance (The Broken Kingdoms Book 9)

“What are we doing here?” Calista asked outside the changed tenement building where she’d lived time and time again.

Old wooden walls were now packed in clay and stone, part of a fortress near the sea. Still, the door was marked with the same runes as the old door, the last sign this was where she’d lived her lifetimes.

I took her hand and led her inside. She cast a sorrowful glance at the cot where Annon had spent his nights; there was an emptiness with his absence. He could not speak with me, but he knew I was there.

The captain had his ways of offering little comforts, as though he could sense I was fighting to cling onto reality, as if he knew all I desperately wanted was to fall into the shadows of a world where she did not die.

I missed him but recalled better than Calista how desperately Annon wanted to sup in the hall of the gods with King Riot. He took an oath to defend the heir, to see her to her true power, but he wanted to die as a Rave and join his men in the Otherworld.

True, I missed him, but was pleased for him.

Over the sagging mantle of the tiny fireplace, I moved a panel of the wall, then another, and another, until a damp, musty corridor opened.

“What the hells?” Calista poked her head inside. A cool breeze rippled her hair around her face. “How . . . how long has this been here?”

“Always,” I said, voice rough. “I-I was bound to the palace grounds, but needed some connection where Annon could pass through to . . . ensure I hadn’t slipped into total madness.”

“Bound to the palace?” Calista closed her eyes for a breath and flexed her fingers once, twice, then looked to me. “Bound to me. You have been the greatest captive of us all, Silas.”

The hair lifted on the back of my neck. Her distress was . . . distressing. I did not want her to think I resented it—how could I? She had always been, even before the world shattered, my friend, my safe one, my heart. The hells had consumed me, no mistake, all these turns. But now, even with the fear in her eyes, it was worth it.

“Part of the curse,” I said with a shrug. “The soul bond to the cursed princess was damned to become a spectral, a forgotten piece of the past. Doubtless, the Norns had a bit of fun with that piece of vengeance for the manipulation of the fated paths. It was my idea, after all.”

“Your idea saved Saga. It was the boldest idea, Silas.”

I faced the corridor, uneasy. “Every kingdom, every crown, had to claw their way through their tale. This is ours, why should we have had it any easier?”

“Our tale.” Calista gnawed on her bottom lip. “A first bond.”

“Yes. A connected vein of seidr. Unusual, but . . . some would say fated to be.” I glanced at the floor. “You are the words of my songs. Without your existence, it is nothing more than a tune.”

“And you are the spirit behind my words.”

I could not sing alone the way King Riot could sing. Somehow our talents, our seidr, bonded into one—her words, my voice became a new vein of fate magic.

Calista cleared her throat and grinned. “Tell me why you’ve been sneaking around my rooms, Silas. I’m considering slapping you for peeping on me. What have you seen?”

Heat flooded my face. “I never did. As I said, this was for Annon to help bring my presence to you.”

“Wait, the roses.” She folded her arms over her chest. “That’s how he always brought your damn roses.”

“You once loved the roses.”

“I never stopped,” she said softly. “Merely let fear cloud the pull toward them.”

No more fears. The games we’d played until now would end.

The corridor wove around new towers, new walls, but soon the damp soil of Hus Rose filled my lungs. A heavy door opened into the mausoleum. A bloody tint to the moon cast scattered shadows around the tomb.

Calista dragged her fingertips over the names of the king and queen. Her chin quivered. “I remember them so well now. It’s like a sieve of the past is breaking through the barriers. What age was I when the worlds broke apart? My Raven Queen could never recall. I suppose it’s all a little hazy for the lot of us.”

“It feels so long ago, but you were nearing your ninth turn.”

“And you?”

“I am five turns your senior.”

“Hmm, but if I was a soul living numerous lifetimes . . . how many turns am I now?” She arched a brow, almost playfully.

The corner of my mouth curled into a smirk. “I suppose as old as you’d like to be, Little Rose. We did begin this land. We can make the rules.”

She snorted. “I feel like we are the youngest, yet . . . we’re the eldest other than my Raven Queen. In truth, I figured I was younger during my parents’ battles. I appeared so small in my Golden King’s dream walk.”

“You are still small.”

Calista rammed her elbow into my ribs. “Being small has gotten me out of more than one tight spot, you sod. All you thick, bumbling men draw more attention than anyone.”

“I wasn’t arguing the point.”

“I think you were.”

“And I think you,” I said, flicking one of her braids, “still start fights for no damn reason.”

Calista’s mouth parted. “I do not.”

“You do.”

“Wrong.”

I tilted my head. “Point made.”

“You’re irritating.”

I chuckled. Such a normal sound, yet one so foreign it sent the hair on the back of my neck on end. My smile slipped, and we fell back into a quiet until we entered the palace hall.

When I was silent too long, Calista forced a crooked grin. “You know, back on the Row, I, uh, I didn’t mean to lose my wits.”

“You lost your wits?”

A splash of pink tinged the tips of her ears. “Yes, when I practically ate you.”

The kiss. I cracked the knuckles of my thumbs and turned away. “Then I rather like when you lose your wits.”

A heady pressure gathered between us. Desire, unease, a new uncertain path, all tangled in tension.

“Seeing all that,” she went on, “It was just . . . a lot, you know? Learning you’re an all-powerful being that can’t die is quite the accomplished task to take in a day. I need to wrap my head around it, then find a way to rub it in Ari’s face, mostly. He boasts about his grandness so often, it’s time someone stuns him.”

I smiled. “What do you wish me to say first?”

She took hold of my hand and led us to a faded, musty bench. “Tell me about breaking the kingdom.”

I looked ahead. Turns of silence, now I could hardly find a way to speak longer than a few words. “Our first true song awakened new paths, alternate paths where the gifts of the Norns and gods-magic were divided among the people instead of held by one throne.”

“That was the song we sang as children when Saga was found battered and beaten?”

“Yes,” I said. “You . . . you loved her so much, and I only wanted to put your heart at ease, so I sang.”

“I always loved when you sang,” she whispered, rubbing her forehead. “Something about the sound was so soothing.” Calista’s eyes snapped to mine. “But you could see things, couldn’t you? You didn’t always need my words. I recall when my mother was possessed, you were singing. You told her something about her fate.”

“I get feelings and thoughts, the same as when you write simple premonitions. To truly change the outcome of fate, to truly build a destiny, I must have your words.”

The first glimmer of my seidr came to me as a boy, not long after the announcement of the heir of House Ode. As if my magic was born with her. When I was in her presence, the songs could hardly be helped.

When her power grew even stronger, well, together we shattered worlds.

“We combined words and song when we found Saga, right? That’s why it was so powerful?”

I looked away, ashamed. “We’d never truly used our voices in such a way. I never meant for it to break everything, but I told you to add whatever words you thought might make her happy. You wanted the kingdom to grow stronger than Davorin. You wanted your aunt to have the golden king I saw in a dream once. Those desires began the tale of fated queens because it became an alternate path for a raven princess to become a queen. It created a world that could rise stronger than before.”

“So my Kind Heart and Shadow Queen ought to give us a great deal of thanks for giving them such glamorous titles?”

“I suppose.” I offered a small grin. “The first queen opened the way for the rest. As such, the first queen had the longer path.”

“The first as in . . .” She looked at me like she already knew the answer.

“You, Little Rose. Your father gave his throne to you. He gave his power away to the first fate queen.”

“But my mother—”

“Held seidr, but she could not twist the paths, or sing the songs of a soul the way you can.”

We had minor strengths on our own. Dream walking, I’d discovered, was mine. Calista could predict destiny through premonitions like star seers. But together her words and my voice opened the power to unravel the path of fate.

After a long pause, her chin trembled; tears glazed her eyes when she looked at me. “Why could I not know of you? Stef—Annon—knew of you. I think every damn person in Raven Row knew of you. Why not me?”

“A cruel trick of the bitter Norns,” I said. “Your path would bring you to rise as a true worker of fate magic, but when your lifeline was shattered, it blinded you from the truth. By restoring each gift, it always led you a little closer back to where you began.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Annon was always with me, and he was part of my past. He knew my purpose.”

I chuckled. It wasn’t humorous, more bitter, but I held a great deal of resentment for the Norns. “Your father bested the bleeding Norns. They are cruel, but Riot Ode was sly. He managed to sing a destiny of his captain who could walk beside you, so you would not be alone.”

She looked at me with a twist of pity. “Stef was tangled in a broken lifetime, but not you. You were cursed to be alone, and I hate it.”

“I don’t.” I swallowed and took a step closer. My hand trembled, slight enough I wasn’t certain she’d notice. I pressed a palm to her cheek. “I won’t say it has not had its cruel impact, but I knew it would be wretched. Your father warned me. I would need to be the one to hold you here, to guide you back. I was willing and accepted.”

Calista shook out her hands. “This is madness. I’ve always told my royals Raven Row was the first kingdom, and I was damn right. It is.” She lifted her gaze with a bit of hesitation. “You are the unseen Mad King, aren’t you?”

I studied the grains of the floorboards for a few breaths. “The Western shores needed to be shielded so it could be your home. The ruse was created as part of the shattered world. A ruse with a king, a small, simple system of trade to be inconspicuous. But should anyone wonder too long, should anyone question too much, the wards of seidr would wipe the thoughts clear of the Western Kingdom.”

“I don’t know how this place even came to be. In my Golden King’s dream, the Western seas were empty.”

“It was intentional. King Riot needed a place his daughter could return and be safe.” My fists clenched; my voice darkened. “A place where the other half of your voice could guide you back, again and again.”

“The wards are broken, aren’t they?” she whispered. “When I crossed into Hus Rose, I felt the shift. That’s when the folk shifted into . . . other people.”

“Their true selves.”

“But I’ve always felt an aversion to Hus Rose. Always. If all I needed to do was bleeding cross the threshold, why the hells was I pushed away?”

“It all returns to restoring the gifts, piece by piece. There was a proper time and place. The beginning becomes the last. This tale began with you, but now the other pieces are in place and your path can truly be revealed. I hope we are not too late.” Blood pounded through my skull. Emotion pooled in a confusing haze. “The bond should’ve been found long ago. I should’ve been found while he was weak. Gods, do you know what it’s like?”

“Silas.” Her small hand nudged my shoulder. “Stay with me. Speak to me. Yes, I know I should’ve been bolder and sought out whatever the first bond meant right after the battle in the South. But you cannot keep holding it over my head. We can only move forward now, and frankly, you could’ve been a little less cryptic. You could’ve said something like, come to the palace for answers, or something better than bleeding sing with me.”

I pressed my chest to hers. “We were cursed by fate to remain apart. Do you think I could be anything but vague? That is not what aches, Little Rose. It is the truth that you once trusted the voice in the dark, you listened, you accepted it. But it all changed when you got a glimpse at the man behind it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The fae sleep.” I made quick work of gripping the back of her neck and drawing her mouth close. The warmth of her gasp kissed my skin. Her eyes were wide, but her palms flattened over my chest. “Don’t lie, Little Rose. You suspected the wraith in the dream had something to do with your Whisper. You felt it, and yet you ran from the sight of me.”

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating. You think your damn face is what frightens me?”

When I drew my cheek alongside hers, I took a bit of twisted enjoyment when she stiffened. “It frightens everyone else. Why would you be different?”

Calista grunted in frustration and shoved against my chest again. “Bastard. Scars hardly frighten me. It was the feeling when . . .”

She dragged her bottom lip between her teeth.

“What?” My voice came out rougher than intended, almost desperate. “What frightened you?”

For a moment, she merely studied me, like she was breathing me in. “You did, but not how you think. It was this overwhelming draw to the man in the dream. The voice in the dark. I could not resist it; I was consumed the night I saw the memory of Ari’s sleep. So consumed I could not even hide the unease from my royals. I . . . I didn’t know how to explain it.

“Then, I lost my brother and he mentioned the first bond the same as my father did in the past. It terrified me to think something unknown awaited me, but I didn’t know my hesitation was leaving you here to rot.”

Tears lined her lashes; she pointed her face to the ground to hide them.

Chaotic thoughts tangled in my skull. They choked off the words, burned through my veins. I pressed my brow to hers, holding her against me. To rot. That’s what I had done. I’d decayed, faded; I’d shattered under the weight of helplessness, of anger, of hate and longing. Now, all that remained was a creature she could hardly look in the eyes.

“Do you know what it’s like?” I shook my head and glared at the darkness in the corner of the room. “No. She doesn’t. She doesn’t know.”

Gentle hands touched my unmasked cheek. I hadn’t realized I’d clenched the whole of my body, until her touch drew out a rough breath and released the mounting tension.

Calista held my face in her palms and peered over my shoulder. “Hey, he’s not yours, you damn ghosts.”

What the hells? The ghoulish movement from the corners and crevices; my sole companions all this time. There was a fierce piece of me that knew they were nothing but figments of my imagination, but she was . . . shouting at them on my behalf.

“I’m talking to him now, so get gone.” Calista gave me a soft smile. “Look at me, Silas. It’s just me here now. You’re not alone in the dark any longer.”

My fingers dug into her arms; my brow dropped to her shoulder. Calista didn’t pull away. She didn’t flinch. Her palm smoothed down the back of my neck, until my pulse slowed. “I . . . sometimes my thoughts get muddled in the dark.”

“I know.” Her fingertips traced the line of my jaw. “I hate myself for leaving you here alone. All you’ve done, all you’ve been forced to endure, and I abandoned you.”

“Little Rose—”

“No.” She closed her eyes. “No, it’s true, and I don’t know if I’ll forgive myself for being such a coward. I don’t mind if you speak to shadows, Silas, but let me be the one to hold the candle and walk with you through the darkness.”

All these turns I’d waited for this moment, when the truth would be hers for the taking, when no walls stood between us, when bonds were found.

She was my mate, my whole being, but she feared losing her own autonomy. “A bond must be accepted, chosen, not forced. You should gather your thoughts, then we can speak more about what moves to make in this war.”

“We can’t leave the other kingdoms—”

“We do not know how to help them for we are still figuring out our steps,” I insisted. We needed to end our tale, we needed to find, accept, and grow in whatever bond was meant to burn between us. But if she did not want it, then we would need to find another way. “While you . . . consider everything you’ve learned, I will see if we can find a way to set sail to other lands. At the very least, try to send word.”

“You’d do that?”

“They have cared for you when I could not be there. I will always fight for them.” My jaw pulsed. “Rest, Little Rose. We need to work together to find other solutions.”

I did not know what came next. I did not know if we would find each other only to fall in blood against an enemy. I did not know if this was the end of it all.

“Don’t go,” she said, reaching for me.

I brought her palm to my lips and pressed a kiss in the center. “Gather your thoughts. The steps we take next, we must be sure.”

I guided her toward the bed chamber she’d stayed in the first night, then left before I could not. My heart was bonded to hers; every fiber of my being was hers to claim. A piece of the tale, but if she did not wish to accept a fated bond, I would not force it.

I would let her go. I would stand beside her. Even if I couldn’t have her.