chapter 46
“I die?” My voice was barely a whisper. I was horrified, so in order for them to make me like them they have to kill me first.
“We will make it quick” Make it quick who the fuck is he kidding, I am not willing to make that sacrifice. What if it doesn't work then I'm just dead. Who in their right mind would agree to dying to be with someone?
“No” I said shoving him back and getting out.
“No? That's your answer?” Tobias asked stepping out of the shower behind me and grabbing a towel.
“Exactly what I said No” I can't believe how fucked up this is, either way I die. I don't change I die; I change I die. I couldn't believe they expect me to be okay with any of this. I don't want to die especially at their hands.
“Either way the options are death, just choose the one where you get to come back Imogen be reasonable” Be reasonable, is this fucker for real. There is nothing reasonable about dying. Once you're dead, your dead, their isn't meant to be a way back from dead. If there was my mother would still be here.
I walked out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom before pulling on some clothes. The sun was starting to break through outside, the bedroom not even needing the light on to see anymore. Looks like no sleep for me now. I pulled on a sweater dress before walking downstairs. I could hear Tobias following me around silently.
Going to kitchen I flicked the kettle on before grabbing some mugs. I grabbed three out before Tobias spoke.
“Don’t bother making Theo one, I'm not sure when he will be back” I wondered where he went, to think he told me not to run from confrontation, yet he has left the place completely, hypocrite. I made my coffee before walking out the back. The sun has turned the sky orange and red as it the light moved between the mountains surrounding the place.
“You want to talk about it?"
“Nope I have given my answer Tobias we don't need to talk about anything” I stated before walking over to mum's rose bush. I see Tobias walk back inside before I sat down on the concrete path. What would mum think about all this? I wondered as I stared at the blooming bush. I know she would have told them to get fucked, probably even smacked them one. I smiled just thinking about it. She was a tough woman; she never would have allowed me to get into this mess I have found myself in. Would she be ashamed of the life I live now? I knew she wouldn't be, but I still questioned myself. I laid down on the concrete looking up at the sky.
It was beautiful out here, quiet but I could also feel the loneliness of being here. Sometimes quiet can be too much, deafening even. Left to your own thoughts constantly could do some serious damage if you didn't have the right mindset.
My mindset, the one that makes you question everything including yourself. Every decision you made, everything you have ever said, everything you have done. Yes, the mind can be a dangerous place to be trapped in. Is that why mum didn't wake up? Was she just trapped in her own mind, lost not able to find the way back or was she gone already? They were some of the thoughts that used to play through my mind after the accident. I wasn't enough for her to come back, for her to stay.
I sniffled, hot tears running down into my hairline. I closed my eyes.
“Tears won't bring her back, tears won't fix anything, they are weak, don't let anyone see you're weak” I mentally scold myself. My tears drying up as I become angered by own weakness. I stare up at the sky blankly clearing my mind of everything, just focusing on my own breathing. The air crisp I could smell the flowers, the roses. The air was that clear out here, no pollution. No hustle and bustle just tranquillity. I knew that tranquillity would eventually send me crazy, I was never one for quiet and calm. My thoughts out here were already becoming as destructive as my life. They were both going to send me insane.
I sat up, I needed to get out of here. I needed to find a way to get away from them. But could I really leave them? Could I walk away and not look back? What are my options though death or death, I had to try?
Getting up I walked inside. Tobias was in a blue suit. “Work?” he nodded his head. I walked over and did up his tie, maybe this was my chance. “What about Theo?”
“He is already there” I didn't bother to ask how he knew that information. But I was glad he wouldn't be coming back anytime soon.
“Can I come?” If I didn't ask, he would know something was up, I knew the answer before I asked it
“No Imogen, not today. Let Theo calm down, we will talk when we get home.”
I nodded, I watched as he grabbed his keys and kissed the top of my head.
“Get some sleep.” Then he walked out the door before stopping. I walked up stairs pretending to go to bed. He turned and called out to me.
“What are you thinking about right now?”
“Going to bed. Why?”
“Nothing your emotions are all over the place. I can stay if you like.”
“No, I am just going to bed, go to work. I will be fine, promise” He stared for a few seconds before walking out the door. As soon as I could no longer see his car out the bedroom window. I started chucking my things in a bag. I know if I follow the driveway, it will lead me to the dirt road heading towards the city. I just needed to get to my car, then I could leave the city hopefully before they got home. They said we were only half an hour away from the city, so hopefully that means an hour a little more on foot.
I chucked only what I needed everything else I could replace eventually. Ducking downstairs, I grabbed my photo album off the bookshelf and crammed it into the blue backpack I found. Grabbing my joggers, I slipped them on before grabbing my phone and wallet from the kitchen. Rustling through my handbag, I found my car keys to my beast.
Walking outside, I started walking towards the driveway stopping to glance in the direction of my mother's plant I couldn't take it, and the idea of leaving her was eating at me, but I knew she would understand.
The driveway was so long, it took me nearly ten minutes to walk down it, I was dreading the walk but hopefully, I see a car and can hitchhike into the city. When I get to the end of the driveway I turn left and follow it all the way to the bitumen road. I looked at the time and it is a little after 8:30 I still had plenty of time, but I was also still miles away from the city. I saw no cars just proving how deserted this area is. After another hour of walking, my phone started dinging messages coming through. When an Idea hit me. I scrolled through my contacts and found Marks number before dialling it. He answered after a few seconds.
“Imogen?”
“Hey Mark, are you at work?”
“I am on my way I'm running a little late. What do you need?”
I told him I was stuck out of town and within ten minutes of walking toward the City, he pulled up in his blue Mazda, the relief I felt upon seeing him. I was finally doing this, escaping. Getting my life back. Mark rolled down the window.
“Need a lift?” he joked.
“You're a life saver, thank you.”
“So, work?”
“Um” Could I trust him not to tell Tobias and Theo? Deciding I could because I didn't really have a choice and I also knew he wouldn't go willingly seek them out after the other day.
“Can you drop me to my apartment by any chance?”
“Everything okay?"
“Yep, everything is fine. I just need to pick up my car.”
“OH, okay then tell me where to go then.” He turned the car around and headed towards the city, listening to my directions. He looked like he was dressed for an interview in his black slacks and white button up top. I really hoped they didn't fire him. Why couldn't Tobias and Theo have been normal like Mark? Not that Mark wasn't attractive or anything, but he definitely wasn't my sort of bloke. He was nice and friendly but there was no chemistry there which was a shame, being with him would be easy, normal. Not this shit storm I was living in.
“So, what we're you doing all the way out there anyway?”
“I was visiting a friend, but they left before I woke up” I said not wanting to tell him that Tobias and Theo had a house out there. When we pulled up at my apartment, I told him I would meet him at work. He waved goodbye and I took off running for the carpark.0